“Go fuck yourself!” she yelled. 

Immediately, he was falling. He landed with a splash, naked, in the shower behind himself, two weeks later.

His future self handed him the lubricant. 

“We’ve got five minutes!”

Already hard, he stood and slid straight into his own arse. He fucked himself hard and fast, cumming twice at once, spraying the tiles and filling his future hole.

Satisfied, he was falling again, materialising at his witch girlfriend's feet moments after he'd left.

“Well?”

“I'm going to have to piss you off more often,” he replied, “and we need to buy some silicone lube.”