“The girls can’t make it tonight.”

I was stretched out on a chaise lounge at the edge of the swimming pool, enjoying the sun after a swim. I sat up at that news, putting a hand to my chest to ensure that my loose bikini top didn’t fall down. Five men were seated or standing around me. They were dressed in street clothes. All of them were farangs, as the Thai call people from Western countries.

“There are riots in the streets and the government has imposed a curfew. Nobody is allowed outside their homes.” The speaker was Tim, the owner of the large, rambling house in the Bangkok suburbs. Tim was a lawyer who represented American firms in business in Thailand.

“Does that mean we’re stuck here for the weekend?” The speaker was a new arrival in Bangkok. His name was Bill and he was tall, handsome, about thirty years old, and had a sweet, innocent smile. I had already identified him as a possible sex partner for the weekend.

“I’m afraid so,” answered Tim.

One of the men, whose name I had forgotten, so I’ll call him “Nameless,” moaned in disappointment. “I was looking forward to this. Your parties are famous,” he said to Tim. So, they were. On Friday nights Tim hosted a party at his house with a few farang men, an occasional curious upper-class Thai women or round-eye (farang woman), and half a dozen Thai bar girls – the euphemistic name for the innumerable young women around Bangkok who made a living with their bodies. A lot of sex ensued, along with good food and liquor. The rule, however, was no drugs. Tim couldn’t take the risk of allowing illegal drugs (and all were illegal) in his house. That was fine with me. I like alcohol and sex.

I was a house guest of Tim whenever I was in Bangkok. I enjoyed the parties – and usually ended up with one of the men in my bed. I also liked talking to the girls. We spoke together in a mixture of Thai and English. My Thai was rudimentary, as was their English.

“Well,” said Jim, another of the men. “We have one woman here.”

The men all turned to look at me. I clutched my bikini top tighter to my breasts. “Oh, no,” I said quickly. “Get that off your mind right now!”

“Just kidding,” said Jim. “But….” He broke out in laughter and the others joined in. I did, too. It was a loose and relaxed crowd and I felt safe, despite the sexual bantering. Tim would protect me if anybody got out of hand. He might even fuck me. I wish he would.

“Come on Maggie,” said Doug, another of the men, with a sly smile. “You can be more positive than that.”

I threw him a kiss and then returned my hand quickly to my chest to hold my top on. “Maybe I’ll be positive with one of you,” I said with a laugh. “But five, forget it!”

“How do we decide who will be the lucky man?”

“I decide, not you,” I answered definitively. “If there is one. Now, go away, I want to sunbathe in peace.”

“Can I put some lotion on that boob?” asked Doug.

I looked down. One of my breasts was exposed. “Oops,” I said as I pulled the bikini top over it.

The men wandered away from me and went into the house, jabbering about how the party was ruined without the bar girls. I reclined again on the chaise lounge. It was getting dark. In the tropics, there’s not much twilight. It gets dark in a hurry. I got up and walked toward the house. “I’ll put on my party dress and see how the evening goes,” I thought to myself. I was also a little sad that the Thai girls wouldn’t be there. In Thailand, poor farmers with daughters sent them to Bangkok to earn money for the family. The ugly ones became maids or construction workers; the pretty ones became bar girls.

***

I should explain who I am. In 1985, I accepted a one-year contract from a charitable organization to work in a refugee camp in Thailand. I was thirty-nine years old; married, legally speaking; and I had two children, ages eighteen and nineteen. They were both away in universities which is why I could stay away from home for a year. I planned for my kids to visit me on their summer vacation.

The refugee camp where I worked was in a remote area near the border with Burma. We didn’t have creature comforts there. I lived in a hut with no electricity. Water was from a standpipe outside my hut. The bathroom was an outhouse.

The routine for the few “expats” (foreigners) who worked in the refugee camp was three weeks of work and then a one week break. Most of us took a bus to Bangkok for our week off. On my first break, I went with a girl friend to Pattaya, a beach resort. There, I met Tim and two of his friends and, to make a long story short, we had a party on the beach and I fucked all three men. So did my girl friend. The people who work in refugee camps tend to be either uptight religious or loose and flexible. I had been uptight and religious six years earlier; I was loose and flexible now, but three men in one night was a record for me.

Tim and I connected immediately. He was 35, divorced, and had lived in Bangkok for five years. He was a very good person: conscientious, even-tempered, and generous. I would have married him had I been available, but he wouldn’t have married me. He had a characteristic – or fatal flaw, depending upon how you saw it: he was a sex addict, maybe not in the psychological sense of that word, but in reality. Tim lived in Bangkok because of the ready availability of bar girls who were pleasant, willing, pretty, and cheap. He fucked several of them every week and made no secret of it.

Tim’s affliction – if it was an affliction – was not unusual among farang men who chose to live in Bangkok. Sex was a major attraction in the country and I doubt that I ever met a man there who had not had dalliances with bar girls. Farang women in Thailand had to accept that their husbands and boy friends were going to fuck around. It wasn’t a big deal; bar girls were not usually a threat to a marriage or relationship. (This was 1985, before AIDS made sex a risky pleasure.)

Tim offered to let me stay at his place during my week-long vacation every month. I accepted. He had a large, rambling house with a lovely tropical garden and a swimming pool. I had a luxurious suite in a wing of the house. I anticipated that his invitation to stay with him had romantic implications. It didn’t. During my first week in his house he only fucked me once – and bar girls came into and out of his house in quick succession. I found myself cooking breakfast for them. I took my cue from Tim and fucked Doug, one of the men I had met on the beach at Pattaya. On my second break at Tim’s house, I fucked three men during the week. This was now my third break and I was the lone woman in the house with five men.

You would probably conclude from the foregoing that I was a slut. I had been the opposite most of my life. When I got married at age nineteen, I was almost a virgin (a penis had slipped briefly inside me once). I didn’t cheat on my husband for the first fourteen years of our marriage. Tired of being poor, I began a career of my own at age thirty-three and with the job and the travel it entailed, I began to enjoy sex with men I met. I never had sex with anyone but my husband in my home town. I was respectful of him. Now, however, our marriage was only a pale shadow. My husband was having an affair with the choir director of the church where he was the pastor – and I had become, mostly by circumstance, an international aid worker in humanitarian disaster areas. Before Thailand the number of men who had shared my bed was only about fifteen – but that number was to increase substantially in Thailand. I absorbed the atmosphere around me and went with the flow.

I’m not a glamour girl but I flattered myself that I didn’t look thirty nine. I’m tall and slender. My boobs are small, but the nipples are nicely upright and pointed. My hair is light-brown and abundant and I usually wear it tied up in a pony tail. I’m aware I’m too old to have a pony tail – but I like it. I don’t usually wear a bra. A pair of blue jeans or a short skirt and a man’s button-down collar shirt is my everyday outfit, although at home I dress and look like what I really am: a preacher’s wife.

I developed over the years a casual attitude to sex. I’ve been told that what attracts men to me is that I take sex as an amusing pastime, smiling and laughing while I’m being fucked. Even if the sex isn’t good I enjoy the intimacy of pillow talk. You don’t really know a man until you’ve fucked him and sometimes you like him more or less afterwards. If it’s less, it’s a forgettable one night stand for me.

My love of sex doesn’t extend to kinkiness. (Sorry, guys!) Anal sex turns me off and doggy sex isn’t my favorite. I want to see my partner and feel our bodies pounding together. I like to fuck in the light, not the dark, as if it were shameful. After I cum for the first or second time, I enjoy watching my partner cum on my stomach and tits and on my face. I like oral sex, but a 69 is too busy. I like to relax and enjoy what my partner is doing to me or what I am doing to him. Those are my preferences.

***

I only owned one party dress. “Disaster junkies,” as refugee workers call themselves, travel light. My dress was loose and flowery, reaching just below my knees, but split up one side to my crotch. The waist was fitted, and the top was square cut with spaghetti straps that went over each shoulder. I was well aware that if I leaned forward my breasts were exposed. I didn’t wear panties, nor shoes. Wearing shoes indoors is a social no-no in Thailand.

As I put on my dress, I mused about how I should behave as the only woman in a party with five men. I was certain that I wanted to be fucked. I had just arrived that day in Bangkok after three weeks of toil in the refugee camp. I wanted to eat good food, get s little drunk, and go to bed with a pleasant man. Tim would be my first choice. I was almost in love with him, but to him I was only a friend. Tonight, with no bar girls to occupy his affections, maybe he would be my lover, but Tim had a generous spirit and I thought it more likely he would not press his suit for my attentions but rather defer to the pleasure of his guests. I was to be that pleasure.

Doug was a possibility. He was a passionate lover. He was married, but his wife and business partner had declared herself a lesbian. The couple still lived together but Doug slept alone while his wife and her lover slept in a different bedroom. I didn’t know the other three men – Bill, Jim, and “Nameless” The attraction of a new lover also appealed to me. How should I navigate what could be a tricky situation? And how long might the six of us be holed up in Tim’s house? One night or maybe the whole weekend? And if the curfew continued for the whole weekend, would I take on more than one man? I have enough social insecurities not to want to be a total wanton woman.

With these weighty but not unpleasant thoughts on my mind, I finished fixing myself up and went downstairs to Tim’s living room, ordered a gin and tonic from the maid, and sat myself down on the sofa to get mellow from drink and conversation. The room was darkened and I felt positively glamorous from my perch on the sofa surrounded by five men panting for my attention. Except for Tim. It became clear to me that he was not going to compete for my attentions. He patted the maid, whose name was Lek, on her butt as she distributed drinks and she wiggled an invitation to him and I knew that she was going to be his bed partner – for a day without sex was unthinkable for Tim. The maid was in her forties, a bit rotund, never-married, and she adored Tim. He responded by taking her to bed now and then. I was a little insulted, but Tim’s choice cemented in my mind that he was a caring person – and the maid needed caring more than I did. I had opportunities.

By the time I finished my third gin and tonic and was feeling both woozy and serenely content, Tim had departed with the maid and the party was getting boisterous. Nameless suddenly burst out with a proposal, “Let’s all go swimming.”

The other men loudly approved of the idea. I said, “I’ll go to my room and get my swim suit.”

“No,” Nameless said. “We go nude. We don’t all have swim suits.” I looked him over. He was a jolly man of medium height with a small tummy, a bald spot, and a shrinking hairline. I like balding men. Perhaps they are more personable that the good lookers? And more sensual?

I thought about nude swimming for a minute while the men encouraged me. “Okay,” I said finally, “but turn out all the lights. I’m not going to be naked in the light.”

Somebody turned out the lamp in the room. I pulled my dress over my head, folded it carefully, and laid it on a top of a low table. When you only own one dress, you take care of it. The men all ripped off their clothes, throwing them every which way, and Nameless took me by the hand and pulled me out the door and into the garden surrounding the house. It was a moonless night and very dark. At the edge of the swimming pool, he asked, “Jump?”

I said "yes,” and we leaped together, hand in hand, into the pool. I came up to the surface with his arms around me. He put his hands under my hips and kissed me on my lips, then raised me above the water and ran his mouth down my face and neck and chest to my breasts. He took a nipple in his mouth. I let him suck on it for a moment, then I detached my nipple from his mouth, put my arms on his shoulders, and pushed his head down under the water. He came up sputtering and I laughed at him.

“You’re an evil woman!” he said when he could talk. “Damn it! I was enjoying that tit.”

“I couldn’t resist,” I said, still laughing. I took his head in my hands and kissed him on the lips. “Does that feel better? Let’s join the others.” The three other men were standing at the shallow end of the pool, watching us.

“Yes,” he answered. “Let’s get in the shallow water before you try to drown me again.” We waded over to the other men. They splashed water on me and we all cavorted in the pool. Each of the men found a way to touch me – and I tolerated their attentions, spinning from one to another, laughing with them.

The games and hilarity began to die down. One of the men was standing on the diving board, jumping up and down, his cock swinging in the darkness. Another had gone into the house to get a drink and the third had retired to a lounge chair, worse for the wear from alcohol.

I was alone in the water with Nameless. We each paddled a few strokes to where we could stand neck-deep in the water. He took me in his arms and kissed me again, and I responded, putting my arms around his neck, and wrapping my legs around his middle. I felt the hardness of his penis pressing into my crotch. He reached down with a hand and tried to maneuver it into my vagina.

“Not that,” I said, pulling away from him. “We have to use a rubber.” I realized that I had just agreed to fuck him. Bill, the man standing on the diving board, heard me say that and responded with a wolf howl. “Come on, Bill, a little privacy,” I admonished him.

“If he doesn’t have a rubber, I’ll take his place.”

Doug came out the house, a drink in his hand and joined in. “Take him tonight,” he said to me. “You’ll come running to me tomorrow.”

“Fuck off,” I said amiably. I was holding Nameless’s penis in my hand to prevent it from entering me. “Shall we depart?” I asked. I unwrapped my legs from him and hand in hand we walked to the edge of the pool and climbed out to the cheers and jeers of the spectators. Nameless gave them the finger.

Inside the house, as dark as a cave, I fumbled for and found my dress and pulled it over my head. “I can’t find my clothes unless we turn the light on,” my partner said.

“You don’t need them,” I said, taking him by the hand and leading him toward the stairs that led to my room. I kissed him on the cheek. “I apologize. I’ve forgotten your name.”

“Sebastian,” he said and laughed. “My parents must have hated me to give me that name. Call me Seb. It’s easier to pronounce.”

Nameless, now Seb, and I inched our way up the dark stairs arm in arm, and I pulled him to the right and led him by the hand down the hallway to my room. We embraced, my hand on his penis. His hand went up my dress to my vagina, feeling it, sticking in an exploratory finger, taking it out, stroking my clitoris, his other hand running over my buttocks. “Take my dress off,” I said.

“Why did you put it on?” he asked. “If you were just going to take it off again.”

“In case I changed my mind. I like a little light on what we may do. Is that okay with you?”

“Absolutely.” He pulled the dress over my head.

I turned on a lamp next to my bed and sat down and opened the drawer in the dresser next to my bed and took out a condom and put it on top of the dresser. “Put that on when we get serious,” I joked.

“I’m feeling serious already,” he said, standing over me as I lay on the bed in the half-light, my legs spread, my mouth open in passion, my arms reached out to receive him. He looked at me for a long moment, his erect penis hovering over my abdomen. He had a muscular body and his penis was short and thick. He lay down beside me. We kissed and his tongue felt the back of my mouth, and then his head was down to my breasts, sucking and licking, and his finger found my vagina and I gasped. He was inside me, stroking slowly and carefully. His mouth left my breasts and he kissed his way downward to my navel, and further, to my hairless slit (I had shaved earlier that day in anticipation. How slutty of me!) and my clitoris where he paused for a moment and then sucked it into his mouth, and finally to my vagina where he inserted his tongue.

I enjoyed his tongue in me for a minute or two and then I pulled him up to my face and kissed him, and said, “My turn.” I scooted down between his legs and took his penis in my mouth and stroked it while my tongue flicked around its head.

“Not too much of that,” he said. “I won’t last long.”

“I’m ready to fuck,” I answered.

“Me too. Do you want to ride me or turn over on your back.”

“On my back.” I rolled off him and sat up and reached out for the packaged condom, bit through the plastic covering, took his penis in my hand and rolled it onto him. Then I laid back and spread my legs. He rolled over on top of me and guided his cock into my pussy with his hand.

“Oh, fuck,” I said. “That feels good. It’s been a while.”

“No lovers in the refugee camp?”

“No, and no prospects. I can’t fuck the refugees. That’s unethical and downright dangerous to get involved in a culture you don’t understand. Plus, I work with women all day long and don’t meet any eligible men.”

He began to pump methodically, his tempo increasing. “Oh, shit! I’m almost ready. I have to stop and cool down or I’ll cum.”

“Cum. I’m ready.”

“You’re quick.”

“Must be the quality of your cock.”

“No doubt. Now!” His movements became frantic and I wrapped my legs around his thrashing body and held on for dear life. “I’m cumming, cumming. Oh, fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

I was a few seconds behind him when that familiar tingle vibrated up and down my vaginal walls and I tried to take him deeper inside me, pushing my pelvic bone against his, feeling the friction on my clitoris, and as he relaxed, his climax over, mine began, and I shook like a leaf from the emotion, and breathlessly, collapsed beneath him, resting and feeling his now flaccid cock slip out of me.

When he had recovered enough to speak, he said, “Damn! That was pretty good for the first time.”

“You’ve done this before,” I said sarcastically, kissing him on the cheek. “You fucked me good.”

“Glad you enjoyed it. Maybe a repeat performance is in order.”

“Not tonight. I’m drunk and sleepy. Maybe tomorrow.”

“I'm glad you picked me. My friends are jealous.”

“I liked it that I couldn’t remember your name. It made you a man of mystery.” I kissed him again.

“Do you fuck men without knowing their names?”

“You’re the first. Almost.” I laughed.

“I like it that you are open about sex. That makes you a lot of fun.”

“Thank you. Now, it’s nighty-night for me. If you’ll get off me. I enjoyed you. Hugely.”

“Good night and sleep well – and don’t forget. I want to fuck you again.” He rolled off me.

“Tomorrow is another day.”

***

I woke up with the sun poring through the windows of my room and Seb snoring lightly at my side. I was thirsty, slightly hung over, and desperately needed to pee. I got out of bed quietly, walked to my bathroom, peed about a quart, drank another quart of water, and rinsed my mouth with mouthwash. I didn’t bother fixing my hair which hung in tangled skeins over my shoulders. I rustled around in my dresser for a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, put them on, and left the bedroom, shutting the door behind me.

I met Tim on the stairs. Like me, he had apparently just gotten out of bed. He was wearing a pair of shorts and was shirtless. “Oh, hi,” he said. “I was going down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee.” We paused on the stairs and he kissed me on the cheek.

“I’ll make the coffee and bring you up a cup,” I said.

He paused a moment. “Lek is still in my bed.”

I felt a little pang in my heart but I responded quickly, “I’ll fix her a cup of tea. Go back to your room” Like many women, I’m service oriented. I’ve served God, my church, my husband, and now refugees fearing violence and suffering discrimination. Giving my body to men is a kind of service to me. Meeting people’s needs. Sex is also my vision of what heaven is like. Endless orgasms! So, the thought of serving Tim’s maid didn’t faze me. Besides that, I was curious as to how she would react to me after the night in bed with her boss. She knew that I sometimes slept with Tim. Not often enough, I thought.

“That would be nice of you,” Tim answered. He kissed me again and turned around and walked back to his bedroom. I continued down the stairs and into the kitchen where I brewed coffee, heated a pot of water for tea, and put cups, sugar, and cream on a tray. When the coffee was finished brewing and the tea water was boiling, I put it on the tray and carried it upstairs and down the hall to Tim’s room. “I’m here,” I announced.

“Come in,” Tim answered. I pushed through the door and stepped into the bedroom. Tim was sitting in a chair beside the bed, still shirtless. Lek was sitting up in the bed. She pulled a sheet up to cover her breasts and looked apprehensively at me. I put the tray down on a bedside table, served coffee to Tim, then sat down on my knees beside the bed and poured tea for Lek. In Thailand it is impolite for a servant’s head to be above that of his or her employer. Thus, servants spend a lot of time on their knees while serving their bosses. I was doing the same for Lek, demonstrating to her that she was the memsahib for the moment and I was the servant. Her nervousness faded and we chatted amiably. Her English was fairly good.

Tim broke into our conversation. “Lek, why don’t you go downstairs and fix breakfast. The others will be getting up soon.” I turned my back while Lek got out of bed and dressed. She left the room with a bow to me and to Tim.

“I missed you last night,” said Tim after Lek had departed.

“I missed you too.” I added archly, “but you had your duties to perform.” The room had the unmistakable smell of sex.

He sighed. “Maybe today?”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe now?” He got out of his chair and stepped over to me. I was still sitting on the floor and he pulled me to him, my head in his crotch.

Don’t make it easy for him my head said -- but my heart said yes. “Seb is in my bed. He’ll miss me when he wakes up. Besides, I am a mess. I need a shower and then I have to get cleaned up so I won’t look like a hag this morning.”

“You’re beautiful. You can take a shower here. With me.”

I thought that over. I had taken showers in Tim’s bedroom before. It was the fanciest bathroom I had ever seen. The shower was enclosed in glass and had a collection of shower heads coming in at you with pressure from every direction. It reminded me of a car wash back in the U.S. A shelf had a wide range of shampoo and soap. Moreover, a cold water tub was just outside the shower to cool off after a hot shower. The bathroom was larger than my bedroom back in Kansas. The prospect of that shower persuaded me. “Oh, fuck,” I said, “why not?”

Tim pulled me to my feet. “Let me help you take that off.” He pulled my t-shirt off over my head, unbuttoned my shorts and let them fall to floor and I stepped out of them. He took off his shorts and took me by the hand and we sashayed to the bathroom and shower giggling like children. There was no doubt in my mind that I was going to fuck Tim. Seb would just have to wake up alone in bed and Lek would undoubtedly notice that the bed she had shared with Tim the night before had been re-used.

In the shower, Tim adjusted the temperature of the water and soaped me down from head to foot, running his fingers through every wrinkle of my body, including my butt crack and the slit of my vulva. He washed the soap off and then put shampoo on my hair, massaged my head, and rinsed it off. I did the same to his body, giving his hardened penis an extra stroke and thrusting a finger just inside his anus.

“Enough,” he said. “I’m going to fuck you now.” He pushed me out of the shower, grabbed a towel and dried me off quickly, then dried himself off, took me by his hand, and led me to his bed. “A quick fuck. Hard and fast. Does that suit you?”

“I can do that.” I lay back onto the bed, my legs hanging off the side, and Tim stood over me between my legs. He reached out and picked up a pillow. “Here,” he said, “shove this under your butt.”

I did as he requested, raising my hips and putting my legs over his shoulders to facilitate his entry. “I want to look at your face while I fuck you,” he said.

I knew that the drawer in the chest alongside his bed had rubbers in it. I reached out, opening it, felt around to find one, pulled it out of the drawer, and said to him, “Let me put this on you.” I bit the plastic package open, took out the rubber, and rolled it onto his cock. He was hard as a rock and his cock seemed even larger than I remembered. “This might hurt if he’s too fast,” I thought with a touch of fright.

He was a man in a hurry, thrusting his cock inside me without further ado, then rocking back and forth rapidly in and out of me, raising my butt ever higher with his hands to penetrate me more deeply, chewing on one of my toes, and smiling while he looked down at me.

We cummed together, I with a scream, he with sucked in breath, and he fell down over me, breathing hard, his head on my chest, my hand in his hair, my legs still over his shoulders, trembling.

We were still resting together, motionless, after our frantic exertions, when there was a voice in the hall. “Hey, Tim! They’ve raised the curfew. We can go outside. And invite some girls for a party.”

Tim got to his feet, looked at me still laying on his bed, leaned over, kissed me on the lips, and tweaked a tit with his fingers. “My horny friends are ready for action. “Are you up for another party today?”

“No, I think I’ll call my friend Brenda and go to a movie – if that’s all right with you. I think my pussy is worn out.” I wanted to savor our brief, almost violent, sex.

“I love you, Maggie. You know that, don’t you?” His declaration was a surprise to me.

“I love you too, but we’re not really a couple, are we?” I had to remain realistic.

“No, but I want you to live here with me.”

It was bittersweet, loving Tim, but having to share him with dozens of other women. That year, so long ago, was momentous for me. I turned forty; my husband filed for divorce; my children came out to Thailand to visit me, and my daughter stayed to work in a refugee camp. I moved along to Africa and another job in another refugee camp.