Luke

“What are you two ugly bastards doing here?” I turned to the person approaching from the car, “Sorry, Cara, I am, truly, that you had to share a car with these two.”

“We were passing and we thought, well, we wondered what you were doing for New Year. Got any plans?”

"Passing? What bull! You're here sniffing after your boyfriend and Diane."

“Actually, mum and dad are hosting a party here, if I’d known you were at a loose end, I would have called.”

“Oh my god! Rob!” cried Sam as she pushed me out of the way and hugged him.

“Hello, Sam, how you doing?”

“Good thanks. I thought I told you to look after my little brother. What do you think you are doing letting him get all loved up?” she said, slapping his chest.

“Yeah, sorry about that. It was a cunning plan, which backfired. I’ll tell you all about it. First, though, can we come in, my nuts are freezing off.”

Sam turned and hit me, “How could you be so rude?”

Rob just grinned at me as they came in. I could see her eyeing up Andy, so I made sure to make introductions.

“Sam, you know Rob, this is Cara and her boyfriend Andy. Cara, Andy, this is my slapper, err, I mean sister, Sam.”

I made them drinks and we sat and talked for a little while, mum was over the moon to see Rob again and even more so to meet Andy. I swear she saw a walking appetite. My dad’s not a small man, standing an inch taller than me, but he never did any sport seriously. He suddenly looked tiny, standing in the kitchen. This gave me a brainwave.

“Cara, do you mind if I abandon you to Sam and my parents, for an hour or so? I want to borrow Andy and Rob to go pick up Tina.”

Given the hospitality of mum, I knew this would be fine and Cara could probably out-nuts Sam, so she could hold her own. En route to Tina’s, I laid out the plan that I had in mind.

“Yes, can I help?” said Mr C as he answered the door.

“We’d like to see Tina, please,” said Andy.

“And you are?”

“Friends of hers,” said Rob.

Then, as Mr C was stuttering over an answer, I heard the scream.

“Rob! Andy! Oh goodness! How do you know where I live?”

“Always you first,” Andy said to Rob, “They always say you first.”

“Morning, beautiful, Mr C,” I made the introductions and as we were invited in Mrs C came to see what all the commotion was about.

“Oh, my goodness, hello, mush. What have you brought me, who are your friends?” she asked as she gave me her obligatory kiss.

“Fine, thanks, Mrs C and you?” I asked ignoring her question for the moment. The look in her eyes as I introduced them, told me I had dropped down the pecking order. Tina’s mum was such a flirt and in front of her dad, I don’t know if it was a game she, or they played. Thinking about the speech Mr C had given me, maybe she was a little repressed.

While she was chatting to them, Mr C came over to me, “You’re a bad man, Luke.”

Oh, crap I thought, I’ve blown it again, “How so, Mr C?”

“I thought these were friends of Tina’s ex and was wondering how I was going to deal with them.”

“Oops, sorry, they were meant as an example to show how bad it could have been,” I said. “I mean, what if Tina had brought home one of these?

“However, if you have any issues, just let me know, as you can see, I have a little support I can call on.”

“Oh, no, I abhor violence.”

“All the same, there’s forty-five in the university squad, before touching the reserves. Then there’s my old club too. It’s not about violence necessarily, sometimes a show of overwhelming force is all that’s needed.”

“Ah, like Kennedy’s MAD policy?”

“Not really, MAD was mutually assured destruction. It was the policy behind the nuclear arms race. Effectively it would result in both Idiot and me losing. Me and you falling out would be MAD, as we’d both lose Tina.

“Overwhelming force was what George Marshall and Churchill talked about when the US entered world war two. It was also part of the Powell Doctrine, used during Desert Storm, a couple of years back. I doubt Idiot can pull the numbers that I might, especially with size and fitness, unless he’s a member of some club or another.”

“Your knowledge of conflicts is impressive, Luke.”

“It’s just one of my interests, I enjoy history. The causes and tactics of wars can be interesting and teach many lessons.

“Talking of MAD, I was reading an article in the Literary Review magazine about a new Jules Verne book being published next year, ‘Paris in the Twentieth Century’. Apparently, in this, he describes some type of engine of war and how they are used to deter the enemy. It is believed to be the first reference to any form of policy like that.”

“Oh my, you really are a dork!”

“Christina!”

“It’s okay, Mr C, it’s her retaliation for being a nerd.”

He chuckled, “As long as you’re happy insulting each other. I’ll keep an eye out for that book, though, it sounds interesting. Thank you.

“Now, please can you get your friends out of here, before my wife adopts them. The food bill alone would be horrendous.”

“I think my point is proven, about Tina doing worse.”

“Well, maybe,” he laughed.

“Come on, guys, Mr C’s scared for his larder and we’ve got to go get Diane too.”

“Oh, is she coming tonight?” asked Tina

“She doesn’t know it yet, but the more people to eat the food, the better. See you tonight Mr C, Mrs C,” and with kisses and handshakes, we were off.

Diane’s parents were really nice and welcomed us all in. They seemed very laid back too, I did invite them for the night. Basically, when mum and dad held a party, it was an open house. They thanked me but had other plans. Diane was going to go with them but decided it would be fun with us.

I’m not sure why my parents bothered with a big house, as we always gathered in the kitchen. I’d sat Tina on one of the sides and she had her arms and legs wrapped around me. Andy was sitting with Cara on his lap, mum and dad had a seat each. This left one chair, which Rob took and the poor soul had to tolerate two beautiful women on his lap. There seemed to be no friction between Sam and Diane doing this. It was once we were all settled that the ribbing started.

“So, Luke, spill,” said Rob, not one to do subtleness, he made sure everyone was around.

“I’m good thanks, mum would only make me clear it up.” Unfortunately, this had piqued everyone’s interest and Rob was asked to explain more.

“I hear Tina had someone waiting for her when you got home.”

After retelling the story, Sam was sat with her mouth open, mum and dad looked curious, it was then Andy spoke up.

“I’ve seen you take some shit, oh, sorry Mrs Evans,”

“It’s fine dear, no F’s or C’s, please and it’s Anne. All of our guests, please call us Anne and David.”

“Thank you, Anne. Well, Luke, I’ve seen you take some flack on the pitch and never retaliated. Have you ever hit anyone?”

Tina gave me a little squeeze as Sam spoke up, “He had his moments at school, but I fear my little brother is growing up now.”

Diane had spotted what Tina had done and looked over at us, “I’m missing something.”

Tina

The room went quiet and looked at us, Luke looked down so I gave a little squeeze with my knees and told them what happened in the woods. The room remained quiet after.

“Shit, man!” exclaimed Rob.

“Fuck. Sorry Anne,” said Andy.

I looked over and she smiled at him and shook her head. Sam was the first to move and came over to us. She put her hands on either side of his face and lifted it to look at him.

“Are you okay?” she asked. He gripped my arm which was around his neck, took a deep breath and nodded.

He put his hand on Sam’s cheek and nodded again, then ran it down her arm and took hold of her hand. I saw him squeeze it and then he turned to face me and took hold of my hands and looked me in the eye. There was a major conflict going on, his eyes were in turmoil.

Sam put her hand on his shoulder and said, “Tell her.”

She started to take charge of the others. Mrs Evans looked as if she was about to clear the room, but Sam stopped them and waved them to stay seated. She looked at Mrs Evans and shook her head.

“It’ll be fine Luke, you’re with friends and family. We’re here for you, no matter what,” Sam said.

There were murmured agreements and I squeezed his hands nodding to him. I was biting my lip trying not to show how scared I was. I tasted blood in my mouth, I hadn’t realised how hard I was biting.

“Luke, sweetie?”

He took a deep breath, exhaled and turned my hands over so our wrists were facing up.

“Have you ever wondered about my tattoos?” I nodded, looking at the two snakes that ran about three-quarters of the length of his forearms from just near his hands.

“But you never asked?”

“I don’t know, it never really came up.”

“Run your fingers along their spine,” which I did. It felt lumpy, but I wasn’t sure what I was feeling.

“They were designed to cover up scars,” I was confused at first. When I saw tears spill onto his cheek, I started to understand some of his caution, the sadness I saw.

“Oh, god, sweetie! I am so sorry,” I felt the tears streaming down my face. I heard some gasps and a few expletives, as it sunk in with the others. I caught Sam out of the corner of my eye, although she was crying too, she was smiling as well.

Luke looked at me with his head askew, “What are you sorry about?”

His question almost made me laugh, it was so innocent and he genuinely didn’t understand why I had said what I did.

“That you’ve been carrying this. I thought there was something, but I never imagined anything like this.”

He gave me a crooked, half-smile and squeezed my hands and still held my eyes. This was taking a lot for him to tell me, he certainly wasn’t telling the others, they just happened to be there. This was one of those moments when only the two of us existed in the universe.

“Notice the heads are shaped like hearts, they were based on vipers. The heart is to remind me to keep living. The pattern in the snakes is based on the brain to remind me to keep thinking.” He rolled his eyes at me and added, “And analysing.”

“When I was at primary school, I struggled with self-esteem and believe it or not, was bullied quite a bit. I started running and doing basic exercises, press ups and sit ups, weight lifting with tins cans. Worst of all I started to lash out. It came to a head when, in the last month of that school, I fought back and had to be dragged off. I put the kid in hospital for three months. I was arrested and cautioned, I swore off fighting, but the guilt of what I did, lived with me. Even after he and his parents told me they forgave me, I still couldn’t shake it.”

He paused and took a large gulp of his coffee, reaching to his shoulder and squeezing Sam’s hand, who squeezed back. He leant forward, pulling my head toward him, he kissed me on the forehead, then touched his to mine and carried on.

“One day at secondary school, someone was giving me some shit and he wouldn’t stop. I walked away and he followed.”

He stopped and looked at me, almost pleading he asked, “How far do you push someone before they break?”

He then went back to touching our foreheads together, “I pulled back to hit him, that’s when I broke. I collapsed in tears; it had frightened me that I nearly did it again. All he could do was laugh. I woke up in an ambulance, with bandages on my wrists and Sam sat holding my hand. A teacher had found me, he saved my life. Sam saw the commotion, then saw me being taken to the ambulance and insisted on going with me. I missed the rest of the year at school including a stretch in a CAMHS hospital in Kent. After I was discharged, I was with a counsellor for two years and I still see one annually, for a check and reset."

Luke continued, “It was my counselling that taught me to deal with my emotions, it’s why I take my time thinking things through and over analysing everything. This is why I’m like I am, all that caution is a protective measure. When I got back to school, I was fitter than I’d ever been and was pulled into the rugby squad. That also gave me an outlet for any aggression. Perhaps you understand better, why I was so angry after the woods. Now you’ve seen my demon, I’ll leave you to it.”

Sam slapped him and shaking his shoulders screamed, “Don’t be a fucking arsehole!”

Mrs Evans had stepped forward and put her hand on Sam’s shoulder. I was still in a daze and it was their reactions, Sam’s outburst and her mum’s calm, that woke me to what he was saying.

“Oh, no, Luke, no!” I threw my arms around his neck. “You carry all this and you do nothing but give. One of the first times I saw you, it was in the library. You were with your friends, who you study with and someone, who had no connection to your group, dropped their books. You stopped and went to help them. The first time we spoke, I was banging my head on the desk, you didn’t know me, but you spent an hour helping me out. How could anyone not love you, if they’ve received some of your giving? How can they not love you more, if they knew what you have been through and yet, you still give?”

Sam had put a hand on my knee toward the end of this and I realised that I had been raising my voice.

“Now tell me, one of your greatest fears in all this is that you might hurt someone, put them in a hospital?” He nodded.

“I’ve seen four times when you have stepped into situations that could have ended badly. After everything you’ve been through, how can you do that?”

He shrugged, “People needed me, you needed me.” There was a look of complete confusion on his face as if to say what other choice was there.

“You risked your sanity for me, for Rob, for others. You risked putting yourself back in the hospital. How could you? You’re far stronger than me, you faced one of your greatest fears and in doing so, put your other on the line. How?”

He shrugged again, “The big issue was losing my temper. Once I learnt to control that, the rest was easy. Three-months in the nut-house.”

“Luke!” Sam chided him with a cuff around the ear.

“I was there, I can call it that, it’s all you pretend sane people have to watch out for the thought police. As I was saying, three-months in the nut-house will teach to keep your temper or you’ll wind-up going further and further down the rabbit hole.

“There’s all the other stuff from there, from counselling that lets me see my temper and mood changing, it’s that stuff that helps me put a lid on it. But I can never back off from helping my friends, even strangers if I see any sign of bullying, sorry.”

“What the hell are you sorry for? Don’t ever apologise for wanting to help people!”

“Quite the little firecracker you’ve got there, Luke,” Rob said. “Got to agree with Sam though, don’t be an arsehole. Don’t know about anyone else, but I need to stretch my legs.”

Rob got up, walked up to Luke, squeezed his shoulder and said, “You’re not on your own, mate.”

He didn’t wait for a response and went out of the kitchen. Diane and Cara kissed his cheek and Andy squeezed his shoulder then they followed Rob out. Mr Evans joined Mrs Evans next to Sam. Mrs Evans now put her hand on my shoulder.

“It was a bad time, but we got through as a family. Tina, there may be some rough times in the future, but we will get through those as a family. Be it a fling at university or the rest of your life, for however long you’re about, you’ll be part of our family. Not just because you are with Luke, but because you are the first person he’s told that he hasn’t had to, I think the only one that ever came close.”

Mr Evans just took one of my hands and kissed it, nodding and smiling, he then took Mrs Evans out of the kitchen.

Sam squeezed my knee, “If you ever want to talk and need a big sister,” she winked and left the kitchen too.

Luke kissed my forehead and pulled back to look at me, his eyes were red, his nose was snotty. I pushed him back and jumped down.

Luke

I had told my story, Sam and Rob had called me an arsehole for pushing Tina away. When everyone had left the room, she pushed me back, jumped down and walked away from me, just that small distance felt like a gulf.

“Sweetie, lift me back up,” which I did.

Tina wrapped her legs around me and pulled me to her. She then put a hand under my chin and lifted my face. I had been so deep in my thoughts that I hadn’t noticed her get a paper towel and run it under the tap. Tina now used this to wipe my eyes and nose. Having done this, she put her hands behind my head and pulled me in for a kiss.

“They’re right you know?” she said.

“What?”

“Don’t be an arsehole,” she said softly, “Don’t you dare try and push me away like that again, I’ll make my own decisions thank you very much!” she finished with more vehemence than I had seen in her.

“But…”

“Be quiet, you’ve said enough, now it’s my turn. You are not your past, it doesn’t define you. Everything that led to those wounds and everything that came from the scars is what shaped the man that is standing in front of me today.

“Without those experiences, how different would you be, would you have been the man to help that person pick up their books or that daft girl with her maths?

“So you broke, so what? You were put back together, stronger and wiser, the man that will stand and defend his friends against the odds or can walk away for me. You made a mistake, the only person that hasn’t forgiven you, is you.”

She softened her voice, “Please Luke, that’s enough, just let go, not for me, for you, for Sam. Just let it all go.”

“Sam?”

“She has been your shield, your confidante, she has carried this with you. It’s time to give her a break. Be the brother she needs, she deserves. How bad do you think she had it, the first to be with you from your family, but not with you soon enough to stop you.”

The talking was done, for the time being, I knew there was a lot more that had to be said. That would happen over the next hours and days. I took the tissue from Tina and wiped her cheeks. She burst out laughing. “What is this share the snot?”

Finally, the tension was broken, I started laughing.

“Welcome back, bruv.” I held my arm out and Sam ran over for a hug, “Can I have some of that snot too?” I wiped her cheek with the tissue too.

Mum and dad followed Sam in and hugged us both, “I’m proud of you son,” said dad.

I looked at them and could see they had been crying too. The same for Cara and Diane and I swear Andy and Rob’s eyes were a little bloodshot.

“Sorry, guys. Now that’s out of the way, can we leave it in this year?”

Through the remainder of the morning, over lunch and a little way into the afternoon there were, needless to say, lots of questions, not least from Rob, who I had grown closest to in the house. At three o’clock, I excused myself, I was shattered.

“Someone wake me at five, please.”

Tina came up with me, we undressed in silence and after getting into bed, just curled up and held each other. The emotions had wiped us both out.

“I don’t want to do that again any time soon,” I said.

“Nor I, now just hold me tight.”

Tina

I’m sure I fell asleep quickly, but Luke was out like a light. There had been hints about something, but I never imagined this. I went to sleep with a smile, this man that made me feel so safe, felt safe enough to tell me about his darkest time. About the beast he carried with him. I was the first person he told, it was a massive honour but a huge responsibility.

As long as he would let me, I would help him fight the beast, maybe even kill it. Finally, even after all his defences had crumbled, his first thought was me. He wrapped me in his warmth, protecting me once again.

Next thing I felt something stroking my cheek, I opened my eyes and Sam was sitting on the edge of the bed, smiling.

“Five o’clock,” she whispered. “How are you?”

“I’m good, I think. A lot to take on, but not enough to scare me off. I’m glad he told me. I’m glad he could tell me.”

Sam kissed my cheek, “He told me you were special, I didn’t know just how special, thank you.

“Before we met, I was going to warn you, threaten you, but you’d never hurt him. I know that, I realised it after our first talk. But this is all new territory for me; I’ve never seen my little bruv like he is with you.”

“What happens now?”

She took my hand and squatted by the bed, “It’s up to you. I think you would have gone by now if you were going. So, just carry on as you were.”

“I really meant, now, when he wakes up. How will he be, do I talk about it, how long will it take until he’s back to his usual self?”

She smiled, “Always be comfortable talking about it, now that he’s told you, obviously be discreet. In bed, last thing or first will probably be best.

“He may be tired, that’s why he came up to bed. I had an hour too. It really tires him out telling, it’s been a few years since he did.

“Depends what you call usual, his normal annoying fat brother self, he never stops. When he wakes up, he’ll be fine, more or less. Yes, talk about it, expect some thoughtful moments over the next couple of weeks, that’s him processing. Other than that he’ll be as good as he was this morning. One thing he will hate is if you start treating him with kid gloves. He’ll understand you being nervous and awkward even protective, just don’t think that he’s fragile.”

“How can he bounce back so quickly?”

“He learnt a lot about dealing with everything that goes on in his head. He hated the meds he was on and wanted to get off them, so he had to learn and prove that could deal with it. He has loads of tactics to do this, don’t ask me, because I don’t understand a lot of them, I just know that it works. Don’t forget he also had intensive work in the hospital, plus the counselling. I only had a limited number of sessions, to try and help me cope, but nothing long term. Maybe I should have an annual, like Luke. Mum and dad had nothing, which might be another reason they are that step further away, they understand less.”

“What about us? You and me?”

With a smile, she said, “It’s a shame we’re talking about what we are or I’d be really facetious. Me? I’m fine, I’ve been through this before. Luke’s got some great books that helped me too. As I said, talk to him, but ask him for help, to borrow some books to help. It may sound daft, but even at his weakest moments, he always seemed to have enough to help me, he’ll do that for you now.”

I put my hand out to touch her face, so beautiful, so much of Luke in it, more so now as I saw a hint of his sadness in her eyes.

“He’ll do it for us now. I can never replace you, I will never try. He’ll only ever have one sister and I understand why you two are like you are. You have a great chunk of his heart and I’ll never trespass on it nor resent you for it. Without you, he may never have been there for me.”

“Roll onto your front.”

“Why?”

“I want to see where you put your wings. No, seriously, where did he find you?”

We started to giggle, which started to rouse Luke. Sam winked and got up.

“Five o-clock, fatty. You’re not needed downstairs, you’ve got an hour or more.”

I felt Luke moving behind me, he had an arm around my neck and the other around my waist. He pulled me to him, I could not have resisted if I had wanted to.

“Still here, I see. You missed your chance to escape.”

I turned my head to admonish him and he was smiling. I just reached back and pulled him down for a kiss.

“I feel grimy, I need a shower.”

He kicked back the covers, leaving me lying there. Grabbing his dressing gown, he disappeared and was back a few minutes later, with a towel around his waist. He threw his dressing gown at me and nodded his head to the door.

“You coming?”

I was up like a shot, throwing the gown on and grabbing his hand. I knew I was giggling and skipping along. My Luke was going to the party tonight and perhaps I could be his Fay Wray.

“What about the others downstairs?”

“Fuck, ‘em. This is about us, just us. Downstairs, they listened when really it should have been just us, maybe Sam. Here, now, it’s us.”

“It wasn’t a bad thing that Rob heard, Diane’s my best friend and Andy and Cara are also part of your, part of our lives. It’s not a bad thing that people around you know at least a little of what you’ve been through, so they can understand you better.”

He held my hand while I was saying this, helping me into the shower, then stepped in behind me. He took the shower head and sprayed me down, then replaced it and picked up a bottle of body wash. I heard the air bubble come out, at least I hope that was what it was. Then he was lathering my back, rubbing it in firmly, followed by my arms and then legs.

“This is why you and Sam are so close? She was the first from your family with you and she’s felt guilty and been trying to protect you ever since. That’s why she was like she was with me.”

Luke was doing my legs at the time, he paused for a second, then carried on.

“She’s never been like it with any of my other girlfriends.”

“Might it be because you’re treating me differently? You told her I’m special, how many of the others have you said that about?”

Turning me around to wash my front, starting with a peck on the lips, he said, “That was after she had cross-examined you.”

He continued down, paying attention to my boobs, carefully circling my nipples and rubbing them between his thumb and forefinger. Then down my sides, with a final circle around my boobs, he moved to my belly, pushing his little finger into my belly button and giving a little twist.

“How many times have you missed your Sunday phone call?”

Another pause, before he moved on below my belly button. Massaging the wash into my hips and cleaning my pubic hair. He ignored my vagina! Then he started on my legs.

“Never, I don’t think.”

“She already knew, before you told her. Don’t forget, she is possibly the person you have been most intimate with. Oh, don’t look at me like that, intimacy doesn’t always need to involve sex. She held your hand on the brink of death and was still holding it when you fought back. She’s been holding your hand since then and wants to make sure the person joining her next to you is worthy.”

“You are!”

“We’ll see. Now, are you going to finish washing me?”

As he stood up, he turned me side on, cleaning the front and back of one leg. His hands reached the top, one pushing between my cheeks the other moving over my vagina. There was pressure on my anus, but not to push in, he was washing me, at least there. At the front, that was a different story.

A finger either side, cleaning the crease between my legs and groin as well as a finger in the middle starting to clean my vagina. My knees buckled a little as he touched my clitoris.

“Something I lost sight of downstairs, something we need to remind me of,” he said.

He turned me to face him, kissing me, we stepped under the showerhead, letting the water run over us. Luke, was rinsing off the lather while we kissed, when he washed off my chest, he pulled my nipples out and looked at me with a smirk.

“Mine.”

“Oh, Luke! Welcome back,” I grabbed him around the neck and forced my tongue into his mouth.

Reaching between my legs he rubbed my vagina a little, parting my labia before seeking out my entrance. He pushed a finger into me while moving his thumb toward my clitoris. When he touched it, he stopped kissing me and raised his eyebrows.

“Yours,” I moaned against his shoulder.

I got some lather from my arm and took hold of his penis and started to clean it, thoroughly. I looked back at him and raised my eyebrows.

“Yours,” he smiled at me.

“Best say hello then,” I said.

Still holding him, I pushed his hand away and squatted in front of him, pausing to take a look. He tapped the top of my head and when I looked up, he gave me a ‘what are you doing, are you sure’ type look. I had no idea what I was doing but was sure I wanted to do at least some of it.

I pulled his foreskin back, as he had shown me and kissed the tip of his penis and giggled, as the end throbbed to my touch. I kissed it again, running my tongue over the end and was rewarded with another throb. This time I opened my mouth and took the end in, keeping my lips tight to him. But the taste, it was appalling, I had to pull back, spitting out, I opened my mouth and put it under the showerhead, gargling then spitting again.

Luke had grabbed me under the arms, as soon as I reacted and lifted me, helping me stand. The look of concern on his face was adorable, especially when I burst out laughing.

“I am so sorry to break the mood, sweetie.”

“Are you okay? What happened?”

Between chuckles, I said, “I forgot to rinse it and that body wash tastes horrible!”

He laughed loud and grabbed me around the waist and cupped my bum, lifting me again. I felt him shuffle a little and when we dropped a bit, I tensed but realised he had braced himself. I gripped with my legs, while he held me with one arm, his other leaning against the wall. We were still laughing when we started to kiss and like the last time he held me like this, I could feel him brushing against me.

“Hold me,” I breathed.

He shuffled a little, then cupped both my cheeks. I let my weight drop a little, which I felt where he was holding me, spread me open a little. With an arm around his neck, I leant back a little and reached between us, taking hold of him once again. He hadn’t been far away on his own, but I guided him into me and let myself slowly drop. At first, nothing happened, then Luke registered what I was doing and relaxed his grip on me.

In unison, as I reached the bottom, we said, “Mine,” which caused more giggling. We didn’t move any more, just holding and kissing, the connection being the symbol of us, of being joined, showing each other that what had been said, had only strengthened our bond. He had opened his chest and handed me his heart. I could have destroyed him by casting it aside.

I could have hurt him by pretending to take the gift offered, as he would have soon seen through that. Giving it back to him would have hurt, but we could, possibly, have been friends after. I understood why he had never told anyone before, none of those was an option for me and he knew it.

As we were under the shower, he did not see the tears on my face. Not that they were bad, they were from happiness and love.

Luke then whispered in my ear, “The water’s gone cold.”

“I know,” he looked over my shoulder and turned the controls off.

I felt him throb inside me a few more times, I responded by clenching against him. I then released my grip slowly and let him take hold of me. Nothing more was said, he started to raise and lower me, slowly. I watched in fascination as the muscles in his shoulders and chest rippled with his movements. I tried not to tense too much when the urge hit me, not wanting this to end, not wanting him to think he had to stop. Then his face grew taught, I nodded to him and it felt like he almost dropped me the last few times before his body tensed. I felt him swell inside me, then his warmth flowed through me.

He held me until he softened and slipped out of me, then he put me down. He grabbed the shower head and rinsed the remaining lather off me, giving my nipples a good tweak, as if the cold water was not enough. He then rinsed himself off, shuddering as he washed off his penis. I took the showerhead and washed myself and shuddered in sympathy, both of us laughing, as he helped me out of the bath.

“Sec,” he said as he wrapped a towel around me and slipped out of the bathroom. A few doors banged and he was back.

“Just making sure the hot-water heater is on, I hope no one else wants a shower for a bit.”

We then gently dried each other, with Luke rubbing body lotion into my skin. We both shaved, I saw him watching with fascination as I sat on the edge of the bath.

“Maybe you can help me one day,” I remarked as I rinsed my razor.

“Maybe you can help me,” he replied.

I sent him back to his room with a kiss, telling him to get dressed and that I would see him downstairs.

Special thanks to curvygalore, who at the drop of a hat, was happy to give me some advice on what was one of the hardest chapters to write.

Thanks to cbears52 for proofreading

Thank you to the moderators helping me getting this published

And thank you to everyone that reads, comments and/or votes.

All feedback is welcome, either in the comments or via a direct message.