Nora

Nora woke Saturday morning to the sound of an ambulance whizzing by on the street outside. She squinted her eyes as the early morning sunlight streamed in through the windows, directly onto her face. 

At some point during the night, she and Olivia had untangled from each other. Next to Nora, Olivia now slept soundly on her stomach, the bedsheet only covering her from the waist down, revealing the pale, flawless skin of her back. Nora wanted so badly to kiss and touch that exposed skin, but Olivia looked so peaceful, Nora couldn’t bear to disturb her. 

Instead, she slowly pulled back the sheet from her own body and climbed out of bed, careful not to wake Olivia. 

Quickly and quietly, she tiptoed over to the chair where her bag had been sitting. She had never been more thankful for the travel toothbrush and extra deodorant she kept in her purse. She gathered up her shirt, skirt and underwear off the floor and made her way over to the bathroom. 

After taking care of the necessities, and getting dressed, Nora picked up her phone off the countertop, seeing that she had seven unread texts and another three missed phone calls — all from Charlotte. Nora had told her about the date she was supposed to have been on last night, so she expected her cousin to ask all about how it went, but this was a little much, even for her!

How’s the date going?

I hope you’re ignoring me because it’s going well and not because she’s murdered you!

Are you having sex right now?! Is that why you haven’t texted me back? Don’t get pregnant, Nora. I am not prepared to help you raise a child! 

Hah! Just kidding, you big homo! 

Seriously, I need you to text me back please! I consume way too much true crime to believe that you’re not being chopped up into tiny pieces and shoved down a dirty garbage disposal!

ELEANORA!

If I don’t hear back from you by 8am tomorrow, I’m contacting the Special Victims Unit!

Nora rolled her eyes as she read through the texts and listened to the increasingly frantic voicemails left by her cousin. She checked the time. She had about ten minutes to send Charlotte a proof of life text before Detective Olivia Benson came crashing through the door. Nora quickly raised a thumbs up in the bathroom mirror and took a selfie to send to Charlotte. 

I’m alive, dumbass! I can’t talk right now, but I’ll call you when I get home and tell you everything. Let’s just say my night was WILD. You cannot possibly guess what happened!

Barely two minutes passed before Nora received a reply.

OMG!! You’re not at home?! I knew you were having sex! Look at you, you little slut. I’m so proud! You look like shit by the way, so I know it was good!

Nora sent a brief reply before putting her phone back down on the counter. 

Bitch ;)

Nora leaned over the countertop, looking into the mirror. Alright, maybe Charlie wasn’t entirely wrong. Her makeup was smeared around her eyes and altogether gone around her mouth and chin, not to mention the tangled, frizzy mess that was her hair. 

Nora took her hair down from the bun she had put it in the night before and combed it through with a brush she found in the top drawer of the vanity. She was careful to pick out any of her long, dark hairs that got tangled in the brush, leaving only Olivia’s short, blond strands behind. Her hair was far too frizzy at this point to leave it down, so she gathered it all back up into a loose, messy bun on top of her head. 

Now to fix her face. Nora searched through the mirrored cabinets, on the hunt for some makeup remover. She smiled to herself as she scanned the shelves of products. There were a few high-end items gracing the cabinets, but Nora was surprised to find just as many drugstore brands in Olivia’s supply. Many of which, Nora used herself. She located the bottle of oily liquid, grabbing it off the shelf along with a few cotton pads sitting in a jar on the countertop. Once her face was clean and moisturized, she grabbed her phone off the counter and left the bathroom.

Olivia was still asleep in the same position she had been a few minutes ago. Nora wandered over to the railing at the edge of the loft, looking out over the rest of the apartment. She had noticed the impressive architecture of the walls and windows last night, which were nothing short of enchanting in the light of day. But what she had missed in the midst of her lust-filled haze was the lush greenery that peppered throughout the space making it feel fresh and bright, the sentimental knick-knacks that looked like they had been acquired through years of traveling around the world, and the most incredible wall-to-wall bookshelf Nora had ever seen in her life. It was like something straight out of her favorite Disney princess movie. 

As her eyes scanned the open living area from above, she noticed a binder and a few file folders sitting on the coffee table, clearly some work Olivia had brought home with her. This triggered thoughts of the office in Nora’s head. What would happen when they were back at work? Would they continue what they had started last night? Would they even be able to? Olivia is my boss after all. Was there some kind of rule against us dating? Are we even dating? We had sex one time, that’s hardly dating. Does she want to date me? Do I want to date her? What if she wakes up and regrets everything? What if she kicks me out? Should I just leave now? What if she fires me? What if I can’t find another job? I can’t move back home, not again. 

Nora dove head first into her self-doubt, as she often did, letting her anxiety wrap its icy fingers around her chest and squeeze until there was nothing left but an empty shell.

She had gotten pretty good at being able to turn it off before it got to be too overwhelming. She distracted herself with work or channeled her fears into music or art. That usually helped. 

But sometimes, when she spiraled, it got so far away from her that no matter how hard she tried, she got lost in the deep end, drowning until someone came along to rescue her. Except that never happened. No one was ever there to save her. So she just swam to the surface, treading water just enough to be able to breathe, waiting for the next wave to crash, pulling her back under.

That wasn’t true, though. Not really. Charlotte had always been there for Nora. Like she had been that night all those years ago. The night when Nora nearly made a choice she could never come back from. She had fallen deeper than she ever had into an abyss that she wouldn’t have been able to pull herself out of on her own. Charlotte didn’t even know what Nora had almost done. What would have happened if she hadn’t answered Nora’s frantic phone call in the middle of the night? To this day, Nora had never been completely honest with her cousin, or anyone else for that matter, about what had really happened that night. She had never told a single person the full story. She was too determined to push it all away. To pretend that that part of her life had never happened. All she wanted to do was forget about it all. Forget about him and everything he did to her. She wasn’t going to let him ruin her life any more than he already had. This was why she had to block it all out. It was the only way she could move on.

Nora jumped, yanked out of her downward spiral, as long, lean arms wrapped around her midsection. She could smell the coastal scent of Olivia’s body wash enveloping her. She must have gotten up at some point in the night to shower. God, I probably smell terrible. 

“Good morning,” Olivia said, nuzzling her face into the curve of Nora’s neck, planting soft kisses along the line of her shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you,” she said with a soft chuckle, filling Nora’s ear with her warm breath and raspy morning voice. Something about that voice, the arms wrapped protectively around her waist, and the sweet lips pressed against her skin, helped to quiet the panic that had been slowly rising inside Nora. She knew it wouldn’t stay that way, but for now, at least, she felt better.

“You okay? You looked like you were pretty far away for a minute,” Olivia asked, carefully turning Nora around to face her.

“Yeah… I… I just woke up is all. I guess I’m just trying to…” Nora sighed, looking down at her fingers that were fidgeting with the open button down Olivia was now wearing. The same shirt she had been wearing last night. She must have grabbed it off the floor after getting out of bed. She wore nothing underneath but a fresh pair of cotton underwear. Seriously, how is it even possible that she looks this hot straight out of bed? And in a dirty shirt! Thank God she didn’t get an eyeful of me when I woke up! “...I’m just trying to wrap my head around the last twelve or so hours,” Nora continued, looking up at Olivia with a small, uncertain smirk. 

“Okay,” Olivia said gently. “Do you regret-”

“No!” Nora said, interrupting Olivia’s question. 

Olivia smiled. “Good. Neither do I.” 

“I guess I’m just trying to figure out what happens now. Like, what happens when we go back to work on Monday?”

“Hmph. Yeah, that’s definitely something we should talk about,” Olivia said soberly. “But first, how about we have some breakfast? Sort everything out over some food?” 

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Nora said, unable to hide her smile at the thought of spending more time with Olivia. “I’m starving!”

“Great!” Olivia replied, mirroring Nora’s smile. “Why don’t you head down to the kitchen? I’ll be there in a minute.”

Nora nodded before Olivia turned and walked into the bathroom. She wandered downstairs, leisurely looking through the living room as she waited. She made a beeline for the bookcases that covered the entire back wall of the room. She scanned the shelves, filled to the brim with books. Every genre Nora could have imagined was represented in the collection. She made a special note of a few titles she wanted to read herself. A couple of thrillers and a romance she had heard was particularly spicy.

Nora’s eye fell to a credenza behind the couch, adorned with a cluster of framed photos sitting on top. As she leaned in for a closer look, she saw that one of the photos was from Olivia’s college graduation. She stood in front of a flowing NYU banner, clad in her purple gown and mortarboard hat, a wide, goofy smile plastered on her face as her arms wrapped around two of her friends. Nora recognized one of the women as Whitney Lexington. The other looked like the woman Nora had seen Olivia talking to as they walked out of the conference room at work yesterday. The one with the glowing brown skin and silky voice. 

Another photo was kept in an older, wooden frame with thick glass protecting the fading picture from the elements. Olivia couldn’t have been more than eight or nine years old. Sitting at one of those old Formica tables with skinny aluminum legs, Olivia wore a pink birthday hat as she held up a Spice Girls CD in one hand and a matching poster in the other, looking like she’d just won the lottery. The open-mouthed smile — that featured an adorably missing front tooth — on her face told Nora that little Olivia could barely contain her joy after opening such an amazing gift. I said it last night and I’ll say it again, the woman has fantastic taste in music.

Nora picked up the last photo. The one that sat nestled in between the other two. Olivia was a few years older in this one, early teens maybe, but she was standing in front of the same small kitchen table from the birthday photo. She was flanked by an older man and woman. Both had much darker complexions than Olivia. The woman sported thick black curls and the man had almost no hair on his head, but a full, gray beard. All three of the people in the picture wore bright, happy smiles, the older woman looking as if she had been crying tears of joy. Olivia stood in the middle, holding up a piece of paper. Nora couldn’t tell what the paper was supposed to be, but whatever it was, it made them all very happy.

“Those are my parents,” Olivia said as she descended the last step of the staircase, now clad in a tight-fitting black cotton t-shirt and dark blue jeans. “That picture was taken on the day the adoption officially went through. I was fifteen.”

Nora smiled down at the photo as she carefully set it back down on the credenza. That’s why they were all so happy. “The ones who danced to The Beatles in the kitchen, right?” Nora asked, remembering the sweet memories Olivia had shared with her the night prior. Just before that douchebag came along.

“The very same,” Olivia said with a bright smile. “You hungry?” she asked.

“Yes!” Nora replied as her stomach gnawed at her insides. 

“Good! Let’s see what we’ve got!” Olivia said as she led the way to the kitchen, making her way over to the refrigerator as Nora took a seat at the kitchen island. “Bacon and eggs? How does that sound?”

“Perfect! I could pretty much eat anything right now!” 

“Hmm…” Olivia raised an eyebrow in Nora’s direction. “I’ll have to keep that in mind.” 

Nora bit her lip and laughed as she watched Olivia take a bowl from one of the cabinets above her head. She popped four uncracked eggs and a metal whisk into the bowl and set it on the island in front of Nora. “Here, you're in charge of the eggs. I’ll do the bacon.” 

“Yes, chef!” Nora said with a smile.

Nora cracked the eggs into the bowl before whisking them up to a frothy, homogenous mixture. Olivia grabbed a couple of frying pans out of a nearby cabinet and handed one to Nora. The two women stood side by side at the stove as they cooked their breakfast.

“So, tell me more about your family,” Nora asked. “Seems like you’re pretty close with your parents?”

“Yeah, we are. I try to make it out to Phoenix at least a couple times a year to visit.” Olivia laughed to herself as she recalled a fond memory. “I got my dad a smartphone for Christmas a few years ago so we could video chat in between visits. He absolutely despises technology. Has no idea how to use it. Anyway, it took nearly an entire week just to teach him how to make and answer calls on it and he still answers the phone in a huff every time because he can’t figure out which button to hit.” 

Nora laughed, her own father and his technological woes coming to mind. “My dad is the exact same way! He’s constantly calling me, asking to help him with his phone or his computer. Even though he has a teenage stepson that lives in the same house, he still insists on calling the child that lives fifteen hundred miles away.”

“You have a stepbrother?” Olivia asked.

“Yeah, Carter. And a stepsister, Alana. She just finished her freshman year at LSU and Carter’s about to be a senior in high school.”

“Are you close with them?”

“Um… honestly, not really. I wish we were closer, but our parents didn’t even meet until I was already out of the house, so I never really got to spend a ton of time with them. Plus I’m a bit older than them, so we just never had much in common.”

“That’s too bad.”

“Yeah. I’m really close with my cousin Charlie, though. We’re best friends. We were basically raised as siblings.” 

Nora stirred the eggs as they cooked in the pan. “Do you have any siblings?” she asked.

“Nope. None that I know of, at least,” Olivia added with a soft chuckle. “I never knew my biological father, and my mother? …Well, she wasn’t able to take care of me. We lost touch a long time ago, so I guess it’s possible there could be some other little Andersens running around somewhere.” Olivia gave a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders. 

“I’m sorry,” Nora said awkwardly, unsure of what else to say. “That must have been tough.”

“Yeah, I mean, it wasn’t ideal of course, but that’s how I ended up with José and Gloria. They weren’t able to have children of their own, so they decided to foster with the hopes of eventually adopting. And they got me. And I got them. So it was a win-win!” Olivia said with a playful smile as she grabbed a couple of plates to serve up their breakfast. 

Nora smiled back at Olivia. “That’s nice. They sound really lovely.”

The two women divided the eggs and bacon between two plates before moving to sit back down at the island in the middle of the open kitchen. 

After taking a few big bites of her eggs and polishing off a strip of bacon, Olivia turned in her stool to face Nora. “So, I guess we’ve got a few things to talk about, don’t we?” she said, slapping her palms on the tops of her thighs. 

“Yeah, I guess we do…” Nora replied softly. She felt another knot tightening in her gut. Her ravenous stomach of a moment ago was now too anxious to welcome any more food. 

“Well, the fact that we work together certainly complicates things… Even more so considering that I’m not only your boss, but the owner of the company.”

“Mhm…” Nora agreed warily.

“But…” Olivia reached over and took Nora’s hand in hers. “I had a great time last night, Nora. I enjoyed spending time with you… among other things,” Olivia added with a smirk. “I’d like to see where this goes. If you’re interested, that is.”

Nora’s heart sped up as she replied, “Yeah, me too. I really like you, Olivia.” 

Olivia smiled, a soft pink flush spreading across her cheeks. She lifted her hand, taking Nora’s chin between her fingers, pulling her in for a gentle kiss. 

Olivia pulled away slowly, letting her fingers slide down the length of Nora’s bare arm as she straightened back up on her stool. 

“But I think, for now at least, we should keep things quiet at work. We can’t let whatever this is affect things at the office,”

“Yeah, of course. I understand,” Nora replied.

“Perfect,” Olivia said as she leaned toward Nora for another kiss. But this time, before their lips could meet, Olivia’s phone buzzed on the counter next to her plate of uneaten food. 

Olivia pulled away, picking up her phone to look at the caller ID. The smile that had taken over her face mere moments ago disappeared. She raked her fingers through the hair that had fallen over her forehead as she swallowed hard, still looking down at the name on her phone. Nora couldn’t see the name of whoever was calling her, but it seemed to have rattled Olivia in a way that left Nora feeling unsettled.

“Olivia… what’s wrong?”

“What?” Olivia asked, her eyes shooting back up to Nora’s. “Um… nothing. I’m sorry. I have to take this. Can you give me a minute?”

Nora nodded as Olivia got up and walked across the apartment into the dining room. 

Thanks to the open nature of the loft, Nora could still hear everything Olivia said into her phone. She tried not to listen, but she couldn’t help herself. 

“Hello?... Why are you calling me?... I… I can’t… I’m sorry. Not right now…” 

Nora turned in her seat to watch Olivia. She sighed, rubbing her hand over the back of her neck as she paced the floor in front of the dining table. Whoever she was talking to, it was clear that Olivia was stressed.

“Fine… Mhm… Yeah. Text me the address… Alright, I’ll be there in an hour… Bye.” Olivia hung up the phone and made her way back to where Nora sat in the kitchen. 

“Nora… I’m so sorry. There’s a bit of an emergency I have to take care of. I really can’t get out of it,” she said, clearly still shaken from her phone call.

“Oh,” Nora replied, looking down at the floor. She hoped the disappointment in her voice wasn’t obvious. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. I mean, it will be... I’m really sorry, but I need to leave,” Olivia said remorsefully.

“Of course. That’s okay. I should probably get going anyway.”

“Stay here, finish your breakfast. I’ll go get your stuff,” Olivia offered. 

But Nora couldn’t eat anything right now if she wanted to. While Olivia disappeared upstairs, Nora scraped the rest of their mostly uneaten breakfast into the trash and rinsed the plates off in the sink. Olivia returned a moment later with Nora’s bag, sweater and shoes. 

“Thanks,” Nora said as she took her belongings from Olivia. She rushed to put her shoes back on, wanting to escape the now awkward energy that had settled over them. 

When they walked to the entryway, Olivia pressed the button for the elevator. The doors opened immediately, but before Nora could step over the threshold, Olivia put her hand out to keep the doors from closing as she grabbed Nora’s wrist, pulling her into her body. “I mean it, Nora. If I could get out of this, I would.” Olivia said with a repentant look in her eyes. “But I do want to see you again. Soon,” she added.

“Me too,” Nora responded with a genuine smile, her anxiety easing slightly.

Before Nora left, Olivia reached her hand around Nora’s neck, gently pulling her in. She leaned down and placed a kiss on Nora’s lips that was somehow sweet, but firm at the same time. Nora let her body fall into Olivia’s as she deepened the kiss between them. 

Nora was the one to break the kiss, pulling away as she gave Olivia a small, timid wave on her way into the elevator. “Bye, Olivia.”

“Goodbye, Nora.”

As Nora left the building and made her way toward the subway station, she couldn’t help but let her thoughts race. On the one hand, Olivia had made it pretty clear that she was into Nora. She said she wanted to see me again. 

But what if she was just being nice? Maybe she only said that to buy herself time to think of a way to let me down easy so that things won’t be as awkward at work. 

But the way she kissed Nora on her way out? She could still feel her lips tingling after that one. That’s not the way you kiss someone you’re trying to shake off, right? 

But what was that phone call about? Who had she been speaking to? Whoever it was and whatever they said had changed Olivia’s entire demeanor. 

Although Nora wasn’t able to completely filter the negative thoughts from her brain, the prevailing feeling she had was one of excitement. Sure, the way they’d left things just now had been awkward, but even so, for the first time in a long while, Nora felt a bit of hope that things just might go well for her this time. 

Yes, they had only spent one night together, but Nora felt a unique connection to Olivia already. She couldn’t remember a time when she felt so comfortable around a new person so quickly or so easily. There was something about Olivia that made Nora feel content and safe for the first time in a long time. Maybe ever. 

She wanted to see where this could go. She was determined not to let the demons of her past interfere with her happiness. She had missed out on too much in her life because of her fears and anxieties. She wasn’t going to let that happen again. Not anymore.