Elena

When the partygoers finally left several hours later, Tamara helped me clean everything up, and I offered to call her an Uber if she wanted to head home instead of staying over as planned, but she declined, which made me feel less worried that I had overwhelmed her.

“Yeah, that’s fine, I am really tired anyway so would just like to crash right now,” Tamara said with a heavy sigh.

“Well I have plenty of room, so no worries there,” I said softly, wanting to offer her a spot in my bed, not even sexually but just because it was comfortable.

“OK, where is my guest suite then?” she asked with a weary smile.

I reached out and grabbed her hand in an unassuming way, still feeling that electric feeling from earlier. “C’mon, I have a great guest room down the hall here. Private bathroom even!”

“Ohhh yesss! Hot shower here I come!” Tamara said happily.

I opened the door to the room at the end of the hall, her making a contented noise. “Glad you like,” I said, giving her a noncommittal half-hug.

“Thank you, you are such a sweetheart!” she replied.

As she started to close the door, I stopped it with my hand. “Oh wait! Just so you know, that bathroom is shared with the room next door. No one is there tonight but didn’t want you to be caught off guard,” I said. She nodded, and I left her alone at that point.

About ten minutes later, I decided that I would take a shower myself. It had been a long evening and I was ready to settle in and get some sleep. I started the water, opened the linen closet for a towel, and found none. Scowling that I had managed to neglect to keep up with my laundry, I remembered that I kept a few spares in the guest room next to Tamara’s, and trotted down the stairs, still in costume.

Once inside the room, I fumbled around in the dark to find the dresser where I kept the spare towels and found one. As I turned to leave, I could hear Tamara in the next room, and my curiosity getting the better of me, I crept over to the door leading to the short hallway separating the two rooms. Once inside, I saw the door to the adjoining room slightly ajar, with low light because apparently, she had the lights off. The blinds in the room were up and bathed the space in a warm, almost magical glow.

I knew it was wrong to essentially spy on her; she was a guest in my home as well as a treasured friend. No, I couldn’t. I shouldn’t! But yes, I wanted to badly, and my wicked side won out. Some people imagine a good angel on one shoulder and a bad one on another, but I had listened to the bad one so many times that I am sure the good one was long gone by now.

Tamara had apparently settled into the high-backed chair not far from the bed, her costume in a pile on the bed, fully naked. I swallowed hard as I looked over her bare form, glowing in the moonlight, eyes closed, legs apart. Gawd she was fucking gorgeous, her breasts firm and supple, hanging off her body like ripe fruit. I have always had a certain fondness for breasts but hers were perfect.

I watched as she cupped one in her hand, invisibly offering it to some imaginary lover, the sight of which made me even wetter than I had been earlier. Her delicate fingers dragged over the upper swell of her breast, traced along the perimeter, and then gently squeezed it. The dark pink nipple I had glimpsed earlier was fully hard, and I licked my lips wondering how it would feel between my lips. My left hand slipped down below my costume’s skirt, into my panties, and right into the wet soft folds of my most private feminine spot.

As if on some invisible cue, I watched Tamara’s hand start to inch down between her legs, allowing me to see her pussy before it blocked me from view. If her breasts were perfect, her pussy was an order of magnitude above that even, as I looked at her bare mound, wanting nothing more than to taste it. Her labia were delicate but still full and the treasure between them was as gorgeous as I had ever seen, and I wanted my face buried there.

She moaned as her index finger slipped inside, making her supple body shudder in the moonlight, causing her to breathe out the words, “Oh yesss, touch me… touch my pussy…”

I slipped my index finger inside myself mimicking her actions, suppressing the deep moan that resulted from the action. She was right, it did feel fucking amazing. In a silent whisper, I said to her, ”Yes baby, I am touching you… touching your pussy… like I have wanted to do for a very long time.”

Tamara spread her legs a bit wider, using another finger to move up and down her clit, lost in the pleasure she was experiencing. Part of me hoped that she was thinking about me, carrying over from out quasi-erotic dance earlier, giving in to what would be forbidden desires for her as a straight girl. Indulging in a powerful new lust, a lust I was aching to satisfy. Frankly, I didn’t care. Watching this sexy girl pleasure herself was pleasurable enough all by itself and I was totally given over to it. I watched her as her hips rocked, her fingers danced, and her lips emitted groans of pleasure that just added to my own. Though wrong, this was as close as I would probably ever come to making love to her myself, and I was damn sure going to climax with her no matter what it took.

I was impressed at how expertly she manipulated her body, slowing down at times to stretch out the experience, and speeding back up to inch it forward. I was having trouble with how pent-up I was feeling, but intent on joining our self-loving that would on some level make us lovers. I watched as her fingering took on greater intensity, inching her closer to an orgasm that looked like it would be powerful, and after a few more moments, she began to climax.

I watched as Tamara’s back arched, pushing her breasts out as if begging me silently to devour them, her body starting to tremble and shake almost violently, moaning loudly and in the sexiest way possible. Her pretty little head lurched from side to side, and as she bit her lip, I heard her cry out something, something it took my mind a few seconds to decode, as I started cumming with her.

“Ohhh gawd… Elena…” she said, more than once.

Hearing my straight friend uttering the name of her lesbian best friend in her private moments of ecstasy made me climax a second time, not to mention blowing my mind. I had to sink to my knees to keep from falling over, which would have made a loud noise and revealed my dirty little secret. Once I recovered enough to stand back up, I slipped out, grabbed the towel, and went back to my room to take the shower I had meant to in the first place.

-----

I was already awake and sipping coffee when Tamara stumbled into the kitchen looking frazzled from the partying of the previous evening. Her hair was wild, kind of going everywhere, and her eyes hinted that she had not slept particularly well, which could have been from the alcohol or some of the nocturnal activities I had watched her have.

“Mornin’ girl,” she groaned.

“Is the party girl a party pooper now?” I said, trying to suppress a laugh.

“Just get me some damn coffee please,” she said, minus her typical enthusiasm.

“Cream and sugar?” I asked, eliciting a nod from her. I added the requested ingredients and slipped it into her hand, my finger grazing hers, eliciting a chuckle from her.

“Thanks,” Tamara whispered, sipping the coffee and letting out a brief, “Mmmm.”

“Are you OK?” I asked her, knowing that I was asking her on a couple different levels.

Tamara swallowed a couple big sips of her coffee, her eyes meeting mine before she answered. “Yes, I had a wonderful time, Elena, Thank you,” she said.

“Well, I loved every second of it. Glad you did too,” I commented, smiling, recalling the image of her face when I heard her say my name the previous night.

She let out a big sigh, like something was on her mind. This wasn’t good. “Listen, I am sorry I was so…. clingy last night. I know you have other friends… and stuff…”

Well, that sounded a lot less disappointing than I was expecting and it almost sounded like she felt insecure and jealous, which made me smile. It was just too cute, though I couldn’t pretend to understand what was going through her mind as she said it. “I really didn’t mind it at all, I love hanging out with you,” I reassured her.

“Well I… let myself get carried away… when we danced…” Tamara said, her voice trailing off.

Uh oh, she might be starting to freak out, I thought. I simply nodded my head, trying to minimize the confusion for her by saying, “It was just a dance, friends goofing around. No need to overthink it.”

When she looked into my eyes again it was like I could see inside her soul, watching the struggle and war in her mind, as she tried to reconcile her emotional attachment, her attraction, and her sexuality, knowing that they didn’t all match up. Of course, I had seen her surrender completely to the desire and enjoy it, but she could have felt guilt or remorse after and I hadn’t witnessed that.

Tamara’s eyes watered up and she shook her head. “I let things go too far, I just wouldn’t ever want to do anything that would hurt you. But, I…. I… just… can’t,” she said, sobbing.

I felt my face turn white, knowing what she was telling me, and torn up inside watching her agony over saying something about it. I knew all along that it was unlikely, not to mention impossible, but my stupid heart had already run ahead of me, especially in light of her behavior. I had seen that struggle play out dozens of times, and in myself once upon a time, and the emotional toll could be staggering… for both parties.

I cleared my throat, replying, “You really don’t have to say…”

Tamara cut me off before I could finish. “I can see the way you look at me… the expression on your face while we danced… and I could… feel… well… and I’m sorry, I just can’t, I am… not…”

As she started sobbing, I wrapped my arms around her, and she leaned into me, making me cry a little as well. Part of those tears were my empathy for the pain she was in and part of it was the death of the silly fantasy I had let my mind run away with. As Tamara started to calm down, I felt the stupid urge to lay my cards on the table, thinking it couldn’t get any worse.

“Well yes, I am very attracted to you. And in love with you. But never expected you to… return those feelings. It’s… OK,” I said, lying through my teeth. But I knew damn well it was far from OK, my heart was being torn in half.

“I’m… sorry…” she said over and over.

I gently pulled back from her, lifting her chin up and looking into her tear-streaked face. “Shhh.” I said, kissing her forehead, adding, “Look… I don’t want you to hurt, and… I don’t want to hurt either. Let’s… let’s just pull back a little… yeah, that’s the best thing to do… clear both our heads a little, OK?”

It was honestly the last thing I wanted, but the secret was out now and there was no putting it back. Something had to give. I decided, sadly, that it would have to be us. At least for now. I really hated this broken and empty feeling inside.

Tamara

At that point, my life had turned a very definite corner, erasing the painful and wasted parts of my existence and giving birth to something entirely new. My divorce was rather speedy since there were no kids and our property was already well-separated, and given Alan’s criminal charges and impending prison sentence, he was in no position to oppose it anyway.

I found an unbridled confidence that came so naturally now, and it spilled over into every area of my life. I freely engaged in debate when I disagreed with my coworkers, and surprisingly enough, my management team. Rather than backfiring and getting me demoted or terminated, they were impressed and promoted me to a management position, which I had been wanting for a long time.

I even pushed back with Elena, whose opinion meant so much that I had previously done about anything she asked. She had the bright notion of getting me back to meeting guys, which I was not interested in at all. She set up a Tinder account for me, which I promptly deleted as we sat at dinner one evening, triggering a mild disagreement that I surprisingly won.

I adored Elena, she had become my closest friend, someone I could tell anything to, without fear of judgment or disapproval, and someone that truly supported me. My life experience up to that point was that most, if not all, of the people treated me like someone they wanted to get things from. She was different, very different! Elena demonstrated time and time again that she was genuinely interested in me, in how I felt, and what I thought, and in a completely unconditional way. Not only was it welcome and refreshing, but it made me feel valued and loved, not as an object but as a person, a human being.

Halloween was just around the corner, and the house already felt so empty that I was not fond of the thought of handing out treats alone even though I enjoyed seeing all of the kids in the neighborhood. Elena threw a huge costume party every year and enthusiastically invited me to come, insisting on it, in fact. I am sure she heard the hesitation in my voice when she asked, because the last event at her house had some awkward memories for me. I assumed she thought I was hesitant about being buzzed and driving home because she suggested that I stay in one of the guest rooms if I didn’t want to drive that night.

Picking the right costume was harder than I imagined it would be, because I actually cared about how I would be perceived. As I sorted through racks and racks of outfits, the question that I found myself asking was not about what everyone would think, but what she would think. What Elena would think, whether she would like it or not. I was about to give up when I saw a fairy princess sort of costume, one that was elegant but not elaborate, and purchased it on the spot.

On that fateful day, I left work right after lunch because I was already far too distracted and anxious about how I would look that evening. I left the costume hanging up at the top of the door frame as I sorted through my unmentionables, glancing up at it every now and then as if I expected it to disappear or something. Well, fairies were magical creatures, right? On some bizarre level it made sense, I suppose.

I removed the one-piece outfit from the hangar and left the wings on the bed; I would add them later, of course. Stepping into the green and gold costume, I pulled it upwards, shimmying into it as it slipped over my hips, and with difficulty, managed to zip up the back. Turning to look in my full-length mirror, I gasped, pleasantly surprised at the image reflected back at me. I had doubted that the image of the curvy woman pictured on the cover would pale in comparison to me, but that assumption dies a hard death.

The skirt-like part of the garment splayed out almost evenly, concealing the place where it came together between my legs, and somehow managed to accentuate my legs in a playful way. I twisted my hips back and forth and watched the fabric dance with my movements, making me giggle a bit. As I looked upwards, I was aware of how tight the costume was, which concerned me at first, but all that showed was a nice firm body, not the defects I knew were hidden beneath. The bodice was quite flattering to my breasts, cupping them firmly and positioning them in a very sexy view, though I feared in a way that was too daring. I looked perfect, a statement I am pretty sure I almost never applied to my appearance.

Unlike the last time I was at Elena’s home, the street was deserted and the wide driveway was completely empty. Knowing I had no need to back out later when it was crowded, I just left the car there and headed to the door, twisting the knob and just walking in. I had stopped knocking a while back when Elena told me I was always welcome and never needed to ask to enter her home.

“Hey girl!” I said cheerily, planting a friendly kiss on her cheek, before backing up to get a better look at what she had chosen to wear. I had to suppress a gasp because of how stunning Elena looked. She had chosen a Wonder Woman costume, probably because of how often I called her that, though I could see some alterations from what I would have called the ‘theatrical version.’ The skirt, instead of being a single piece, had been separated into strips, which actually made it look more authentic. One of the side effects of the alteration was that I could see the leotard-like part of the outfit, and more noticeably, the curve of her ass. I had a brief thought regarding how sexy that looked but pushed the feeling away as soon as it had started.

My eyes took in the sight of her, but as I got up to her breasts, the sight of her cleavage drew me in for a few moments, which had happened before but still rattled me a bit. “Wow, I fucking love that outfit on you, Elena. Wonder woman, my myyy,” I said, trying not to sound overly friendly.

Elena cackled, though I couldn’t tell if it was from my awkwardness or because of the compliment. “Well,” she began, “if you turn on that much charm tonight, you are bound to get into trouble. Best stick with me then, I’ll protect you!”

I just shook my head and laughed, figuring I best start helping her with any final preparations, after all, that’s what friends are for right? Without much of a second thought, I unbuttoned my coat and slipped it off. I heard Elena gasp involuntarily, making me look up.

“Wow, Tamara, you look… amazing…” she stammered, her eyes wandering over my body, studying my outfit, slowly. After a second or two she seemed to be looking at my body, not in the nasty ways that men often did, but out of genuine appreciation. But her cheeks were pink and her lips parted, and it was obvious that the appreciation was giving way to attraction and desire. I had caught glimpses of her looking at me that way, but it was always gone quickly. I had never taken offense because I knew nothing would ever come of it.

I giggled out of sheer delight when I saw the expression on her face when she caught herself with her mind wandering. “Well thank you, I know… it came from the heart,” I said in a low tone. It warmed my heart that she cared so much, and I did feel so connected to her. I had felt some butterflies when I had seen her expression, which confused me, but I also wanted to just reassure her. I started to reach out to just give her a small hug but was concerned that might give the wrong impression given what she may have been feeling in that moment.

What was strange was what I was feeling in the moments that followed, like an urge to embrace her, not an impulse, but something more powerful. Should I? Shouldn’t I? Before my mind could even focus enough to make a rational decision I felt my body act on its own to reach for her. Before I could stop myself, the embrace was already underway, and Elena slipped her arms around my waist and pulled me to her. It was a full-body hug that felt oddly intimate, but like something we had done before, even though we had not.

Elena’s body was flush against mine, sharing warmth, affection, and something that felt more like we were lovers than friends. Her body was essentially kissing mine, loving mine, and while it was so foreign it also felt amazing. My head was spinning, I was in uncharted waters, and ones I wasn’t sure I had any business in, but the sensations were confusing me all the more. I felt Elena’s head move slightly, as if moving to kiss my cheek, which just seemed sweet, but as she inched forward, it was like her lips were headed for mine.

I felt panic but was frozen in the moment as if there was nothing I could do to prevent it. Then, at what seemed like the last second, her lips touched my cheek, making me feel relief. But her lips were almost on the corner of my mouth, close enough that just a sliver of her lips touched mine, like a kiss but not quite a kiss. My heart was pounding and I wasn’t sure how to respond.

Just then, Elena pulled back, more like jumped back, and had one hand to her mouth with a look of terror on her face, like she had just committed some unforgivable betrayal. “Oh shit, Tamara, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean… ugh!” she gasped.

I shook off myself mentally and cleared my head to ensure I responded intelligently. “No, no it’s fine, I just took it as a very nice compliment,” I reassured her. While that was true, it didn’t communicate the strange sensations it had evoked in me. Then again, the feeling was far from awkward, it was comfortable, almost familiar. As before, I pushed the thoughts from my mind and resumed the business of helping get the house ready for the guests who would start arriving shortly.

Elena and I ran around almost frantically making sure everything was perfect, from the delicious punch to the food, and even cleared the central area out to act as a dance floor. She made some flirtatious comments now and then, but nothing really lewd or inappropriate, even going so far to make the point that she was just kidding.

“OK, a couple of them are pulling up now, I just got their texts,” Elena said, sliding her phone on a table not far away.

“Gotcha,” I said, linking my arm with her. I wanted her to feel like I was there to help her with absolutely anything, and she seemed to relax as she leaned into me a bit.

Once the doorbell sounded, Elena opened the door, and her friend Lena walked in, nothing-but-trouble Lena. “Oh, what a cute couple!” she said, grabbing us both in a big hug, clearly intended to make me feel her body. From that position, I could feel her breath on my neck, bringing back the memory of what transpired at the pool house, of her lips on the little blonde’s neck. When I had enough of her shenanigans, I tried to pull back, and she held on a second longer just out of spite, letting me go right after, and headed over to get a drink.

Right. She had moved on, I leaned in to whisper to Elena, careful to ensure that Lena wouldn’t hear me. “Pretty sure she just wants to fuck me,” I whispered, almost shocked that I had said it, and even more admitting it to her. I bit my lip. “Sorry, that was a bit much, true or not, and not very considerate of me. Um, Elena?” I said, noting that she had zoned out a bit.

Elena looked me in the eyes. “Well actually, that’s pretty damn perceptive, so yeah, she does. Keep away from her, she is a player and trouble with a capital T,” she said,

I laughed. “And here I thought I was being too blunt. Fear not, I want nothing to do with her,” I assured her, leaning into her for a hug.

Once everyone had arrived, I felt comfortable letting go of Elena for a few minutes and went and got some of the yummy punch that she had made a while earlier. I took the ladle and poured a tall glass of it, taking a sip right after. It had been a crazy week at work and it would relax me.

As I was halfway through my second glass a while later, I felt a hand slip into mine, hearing Elena’s voice as I looked to see who had been so bold to do such a thing. “Oh, hey, you startled me,” I said.

Gesturing to the empty space we had created for dancing, she gestured towards it with her head. “Look, no one is dancing, so it’s up to us to get things moving,” she said, tugging my hand insistently. I could tell that saying no was not an option, so with some reluctance, I went with her, settling into the dance area unassumingly. Still holding my hand, she began moving her body to the rhythm of the bass-heavy sound erupting from the speakers.

I had danced with other women plenty of times at clubs and parties, and it meant nothing, just simple fun in a relaxed atmosphere. Why would this be any different? Not wanting to waste any of the delicious drink, I gulped down the rest rapidly and shot her my best flirty look as I discarded the glass. Once my hands were free, I felt the rhythm of the music calling to me like a lover, asking me to give in. Obeying, I started swaying and using some moves I hadn’t even attempted for years. Hopefully, I wouldn’t pull something.

“Wow, girl, you are really good!” Elena said, almost laughing.

The way her body was moving was positively hypnotic, and I started copying her motions and eventually made moves that complemented hers. We were dancing separately, and yet our gyrations felt like they were being orchestrated from some joined consciousness, minds joined and bodies joined somehow.

Other dancers now thronged around us, taking our lead and moving all about in the space allowed, though I did notice a few getting close… very close… and their bodies brushing. I had seen it all before of course, and done it briefly out of sheer silliness, but this was certainly a different situation.

As I was contemplating what, if anything, to do about it all, I felt something brush up against me, more like someone, but I knew who it was. Elena had playfully slid her hip alongside of mine, her expression full of playfulness as if to tell me it was just goofing around and nothing to be afraid of. Not wanting to make the situation awkward, I returned the gesture, making her giggle again.

I felt that nudge to give in again, but this time it had nothing to do with the music, it had to do with Elena, with giving in to her. I dismissed the thought as silly, I was just having fun, but as the dancing continued, our proximity to one another got smaller and smaller, not to the point of being in an embrace, but of bodies rubbing. Cheeks brushing. Breasts rubbing. Hands touching. Hips grinding.

Yes. Grinding. Without knowing how it happened or even started, I found myself right up against Elena’s body, my hands on her hips, grinding against her. My pussy grinding into her hip, not flat out overtly, but having the same effect. And Elena was doing the same, and I could feel the heat between her legs, it was powerful and confusing at the same time.

Conscious of what was happening now, I stopped moving and moved back just enough to show I wasn’t about to freak out or run away. As I was gathering my wits, the music switched to a slow song, and my brain knew where this was headed, farther than the previous dance and to places my Catholic upbringing forbade me to go. I was about to quietly withdraw from the dance floor when I heard Elena speak.

“One more dance. Please?” she asked, her eyes pleading.

Before I could even form the words for an answer, I found myself nodding and Elena slipping her hands around my waist and pulling me into her. “Um, yes,” in a whisper was all I could manage to say.

Her body pressed softly into mine as her lips settled right at my ear. “It’s OK, Just a dance,” she whispered.

I could feel her warmth over every inch of me, her warm breath tickling my ears and neck, her breasts against mine, bare skin in several places, and the heat between her legs. And once again I felt some unseen voice whispering to give in, to surrender to the moment, to give in to Elena, whom I knew wanted me, though she had never said so. My body was saying yes to hers, my nipples hard, my breath ragged, my mind spinning, my pussy aching. I felt desires that made no sense to me, urges that seemed to belong to someone else, and all exquisitely intertwined with deep affection, like a connection that I had never felt for another human being. Ever.

I was having a hard time processing the torrent of thoughts and emotions coursing through me, as I had no frame of reference for any of it, even amidst the amazing progress I had made in my life. I felt profoundly confused and off-balance, and in ways, I had never been before. With all my being, I concentrated, trying to exert self-control and regain mental clarity before I went completely off the rails. I drew in a breath, trying to calm myself.

Once the music ended I felt Elena pull back from me, not too quickly but enough to create a separation of a few feet to get out of my personal space. “Thanks for the dance, um, everything OK? Are you OK?”

I sighed and nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine, I just never danced… Well, slow danced with another woman before, is all. It’s all good,” I said.

“OK, good, I would never want to make you feel uncomfortable. Ever,” Elena said, keeping her distance. I could read an expression of huge relief in her expression and body language; it was clear she had worried that she had pushed me past my limits, something that just made me adore her all the more.

Fortunately, a lot of ‘our’ guests had the decency to pick up after themselves, though not everyone had given us the courtesy. The worst area was the pool, which I volunteered to go clean up, a kind impulse I started cursing given the mess that lurked out there. Muttering my displeasure, the pool house caught my eye, and brought to mind the images I had seen there. I started to push the thoughts away but glanced back at the house and caught sight of Elena. There was no question that she was beautiful, I had always thought that, but dancing with her, feeling her body against mine, feeling her breathing, was another thing entirely. I chalked it all up to not having had sex in a long while. Get a grip, I told myself.

I dragged the huge black trash bag behind me through the sliding glass door and propped it up against the already full trash can next to the counter near the kitchen. I let out a big sigh and a soft groan.

Elena smiled. “You know, I can just call you an Uber. That way you can sleep in your own bed and get up anytime you want. Or you can just crash here. I have a nice guest room, private bath, and everything!” she offered.

I did a brief but tired happy dance. “Oh damn yes, hot shower here I come!” she sighed.

Elena chuckled as she led me down the corridor to the side of the house that I had not seen yet, there were a couple of doors off to the right, and she went to the one furthest away and twisted the knob, pushing the dark wooden door open.

The room was spacious as well as gorgeous, it looked like it was decorated for royalty, without seeming like some sort of Disney set. “Oh wow Elena, it’s incredible,” I said with a squeal, moving inside, ready to almost fall into the bed.

Elena chuckled. “Glad you like. Oh, almost forgot! That other door leads to the bathroom, but it’s shared with the room next door. You are the only one here tonight, but didn’t want you to get caught off guard in the future,” she said.

I gave her a friendly half-hug, “Thank you sooo much!” I said wearily before closing the door. Once inside, I let out a huge sigh. I really was very tired, but also relaxed after such a fun evening. I fumbled to turn off the lights. No doubt I would need to take a good long shower, but I planned to just fall into the king-sized bed right after. Curious as to what the view was out the large window, I went over and pulled at the string that raised the blinds. The full moon high up in the sky blanketed the neighborhood and adjacent wooded areas in an ethereal glow. It really was lovely. For a moment I wondered what it would be like if my wings were real and what the landscape would look like if I was flying over it.

I stepped back, walking over to a chair in the corner close to the door, admiring the stitching and design up the high back. I removed the wings and unzipped my costume, placing it on the bed next to me, sliding into the chair. While I knew the surface wasn’t silk, it felt an awful lot like it, the fabric caressing my skin, making me sigh. I ran my fingers over the soft cloth of the arm, delighted at how it felt on my skin.

Skin, yes loved the feeling of my skin on the fabric, but I remembered a sensation that was a thousand times better, those I felt during my dances with Elena. I felt a surge of desire inside me as I let the memory of the experience crash over me in full force. Yes, it felt like the whisper to surrender again, and the urge was so powerful it was overwhelming. I was all alone with my own thoughts, so giving a little bit of myself to it couldn’t do any harm right?

I touched the upper curve of my breasts with my fingers, savoring the desires taking hold of me, remembering how the same spot on Elena’s body felt against there. Delicious. Sexy. Powerful. Sensual. Yes, it was OK to enjoy it, I needed to enjoy it. I needed to shed whatever else was hiding my skin, I unhooked my bra and peeled off my lace panties, which were already slick with desire.

For that moment, I abandoned any definition of straight, lesbian, who I was, and what might be right or wrong given my past, all that mattered was her. Her and me. Us. I willed my mind back to the dance, more specifically, the slow dance, the feelings, the sensations, the contact, the connection. And the desire, all the desire released and unrestrained.

I could feel her kissing my neck, telling me she wanted me, how much she wanted to taste my skin. I imagined her bringing her hand up to my breast, gently caressing it with incredible skill and sensuality. In the vision, she unzipped the fairy costume, letting it fall away, followed by my bra. Separating my body from hers for a moment, I watched her eyes settle on my breasts, not glancing as she had done before, but staring. I knew what she wanted. I wanted it too. I slipped my hand under my breasts, making it clear they were hers --- hers for the taking.

Elena’s fingers pushed mine aside as she slipped her hands over my breasts, beginning a slow, circular caressing motion that felt amazing. Cooing as she kissed my neck, she kept touching me as her lips inched lower, until her face was buried firmly in the valley between them, kissing and gently sucking the skin. It felt beyond amazing. “Oh gawd, Elena…” I said, aware that I had whispered it out loud, but not caring.

I felt a pair of warm wonderful wet lips encircle my nipple, making me moan. Fuck that felt good, she was clearly an expert at what she was doing. I slipped my hand between my legs, touching myself and imagining her making love to my body, her lips on my breasts, touching me, caressing me, and eventually going down on me. I moaned and gasped, saying, “Oh gawd yes, yes touch me… touch my pussy… like that…”

In my mind’s eye, upon touching me between my legs, Elena lowered her head slowly until I felt her tongue in my pussy, my fingers intertwined in her hair as she claimed me, tasted me, licking me with deep sensual strokes that made my hips move on their own, wanting nothing more than for her to never stop. I could feel a powerful orgasm coming on, but had no desire to climax just yet, so I slowed down my fingering until I felt the sensation ebb away a bit.

I bit my lip, letting the feeling of arousal flow to every far point of my body, breathing my scent, and occasionally lifting my fingers to taste myself. Increasing my efforts, I felt the climax rising again, with a fierce intensity that I wasn’t sure I could quell again, but knew full well the delicious effect of postponing it. Breathing deeply, I stroked my inner thighs, away from my sexual center, all the while feeling the urge to finish. As the sensation started to relax again, I began touching again, imagining Elena devouring me with a sweet skill I had never experienced before.

Whatever sexy images I had been playing in my head, they immediately blurred once my orgasm started to reach its peak, all I knew is that it was my lesbian friend that was in them. My back arched, I let out a deep low moan that I hoped was well out of anyone’s hearing, as I gave in, body writhing in sheer ecstasy, just embracing the feeling as it washed over me like a giant wave. I let myself bathe in it, and after it began to fade, I had to sit still for a moment to catch my breath. Wow, that was a great one, I thought. Once I could stand up without wobbling, I made my way to the bathroom for the shower I had promised myself.

-----

I heard birds chirping, bringing me out of sleep and reminding my clouded thoughts that it was morning, and time to get up. Since I had forgotten to close the blinds, the sunlight was flooding the room and making my eyes hurt. My phone was dead so I didn’t even have any idea what time it was. Willing myself to stand, I shuffled to the door and headed towards the kitchen area, driven with only one thing in mind: coffee.

Elena was standing over by the island, already dressed, with perfect makeup and hair. It just seemed incredibly unfair, I was certain I looked like a disaster. “Morning, girlie,” I said with a pitiful moaning sound.

Elena also appeared ridiculously perky, annoying me even more. “Awww is the party girl all pooped out now?” she said teasingly.

“Just… coffee please.” I croaked, blinking to try to make myself more alert.

Elena poured some coffee from the carafe into a mug that had With Love painted on the side, which I realized much later was one of the pieces I had made for her at our pottery session. I took a sip, then several more. “Oh thanks sooo much,” I said, making my shoulders touch my ears and then relax.

Elena sighed after taking a swig of her own coffee. She seemed concerned or worried, at least from her expression. “Hey… are you… alright?” she asked, with something in her voice that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

As the question sank into my conscious mind I realized that I really had no idea if I was or not. Feelings of confusion and guilt --- catholic guilt as I often called it --- whispered accusingly in the back of my mind that I had done a number of things the previous night that were questionable at best. I cleared my throat, “Yeah, no worries, I had a really good time last night, Elena,” I replied, trying to silence the unsettling feelings.

Elena smiled one of those smiles that made her eyes squint a bit. “Glad to hear it,” she said, “I did too, so much in fact.”

If the uneasy feelings had been members of a courtroom, the prosecutor would have stood up and read the charges aloud to all who could hear. I cleared my throat again, which I worried showed my nervousness. “Look, I got weirdly clingy last night, not sure why, I know you have other friends… and interests… and such… sorry…”

“No need to be sorry, not a big deal at all, I love hanging out with you,” she said, a look of concern bleeding through the relaxed face she was trying to project.

I frowned, wishing now I hadn’t said anything, worried that I might be just stirring up trouble, but the confusion and regret just pushed me on further. Sighing, I answered, “Well, I let things get carried away… during the dancing, and I…”

Elena interrupted me before I could finish. “Look, it was no big deal, we were just goofing around, like friends do sometimes. Don’t overthink it, Tamara, it’s all fine,” she said, her expression quite anxious.

Inwardly, I was grateful that she was being so gracious, and clearly giving me a way to end the conversation while saving face, but the unsettled feeling nagged at me. I cared about her, the last thing I wanted was to do anything to upset her, including anything that could lead her on. In that moment I stupidly allowed my emotional turmoil to speak for me, and I said, “No, I let things get too far along, and I would never ever want to do or say anything to hurt you. I just… I can’t ever… I’m… not…”

Elena pursed her lips, her expression a mixture of compassion and fear mixed together. “No, just stop, you don't need to say anything, just let it go…” She was calm but I could hear a quiver in her voice, we both seemed to know I was about to say things that needed to remain unsaid.

“Elena, I saw the way you looked at me while we danced. I see that look, and I can’t, I could never, I couldn’t ever do…” I said, bursting into tears, regretting saying anything at all, afraid and worried that I had plunged a dagger into the heart of my closest friend of my entire life. What in the hell made me say anything at all? Why hadn’t I just left it alone? All of my emotions exploded in that moment and I am sure it felt like a nuclear blast in intensity, my body heaving from the sobs.

She grabbed me from the side, held on to me, and cried with me, something that I had never experienced before, but something in that moment I needed more than anything. Elena hugged me from the side so it felt totally platonic, and after a couple minutes I started to catch my breath and calm a bit. While dumping the burden of those feelings lightened me in some ways, it created a whole other set of emotions as a result.

“Shh, it’s OK,” she said softly.

“No, it’s not o...kay.”

I heard Elena sigh, but didn’t see it since my eyes were still full of tears. I felt her pull back a bit and look me in the eye firmly. “Tamara, yes, I am attracted to you. Very attracted in fact. And…”

My brow furrowed as I watched her expression communicate the exact thing I had felt a few seconds earlier. “And…” she said, taking a deep breath, “I am in love with you. But I never once expected you to feel the same… it’s OK…”

I started bawling again, this time with even more intensity, knowing that no matter what she said, this had cut to the deepest part of her, and I was responsible. Elena had been nothing but wonderful, supportive, and encouraging, and I had repaid all of that kindness with a brutal act that did nothing but ease my own conscience, and for only a brief moment at that. I could feel her trembling as she cried with me, sensing what she felt but would never say to me. I had broken her heart.

“Shhh, it’s OK…” Elena said, pulling my face up to meet her gaze. The mascara that I had envied a short time before circled her eyes and made her look even more heartbroken. “The last thing I want is seeing you hurt... And... I don’t want to hurt either…”

“Uh-huh,” I said softly sniffing.

With a heavy sigh, Elena said, “Let’s just back up a little bit OK?” That didn’t sound so bad, and my mind was too worked up that I had no idea where the conversation was headed. “I think that’s best, taking a break from each other…”

With that short phrase, it felt like my world had come crashing down around me, and the person I valued most on the entire planet was gone, just like that.