“So what flavour would you like?”
Maria gave a guffaw that turned heads in the pharmacy.
“I’m serious, you have to think about these things! Unless you’re thinking of going down as nature intended it?”
“My God! Keep it down!”
“Keeping it down is not the idea of the evening.”
Maria and Lucia had laughed so much that day that by now they were almost helpless with giggles.
“Want some lube? Yeah, you want some lube.”
“How much is this going to cost me?”
“Don’t worry…lube’s on me.”
“Thanks.”
“Come on, we’re near the checkout now. Three steps.”
Lucia gently took Maria’s arm and led her forward. Maria’s stick swung left and right and her every step was hesitant, but the two women soon negotiated the checkout aisle. The woman scanning the items gave Maria a startled look when she realised who the condoms were for.
“Blind people get laid too, you know,” muttered Lucia at the cashier under her breath.
*
A fortnight earlier, Maria had been swimming up and down the pool when she’d heard a guy whistle her.
“Hola, ciega! Get an eyeful of this!”
She’d heard male voices laughing but she kept swimming, ignoring them.
“Hey, leave her alone.”
Another male voice, another one she didn’t recognise.
“I’m only joking man, chill out.”
“Either show her some respect or get out.”
Maria had tensed, afraid there would be a major scene with her at the center. She’d been relieved when the catcallers had decided it wasn’t worth it and left.
A man swam over to her.
“Hey, I’m Dani. Just so you know, that guy flashed you. I’m sorry. Just a bunch of idiots.”
“Thank you. I’m Maria.”
“Does that happen a lot?”
“I don’t think so. I wouldn’t know.”
“Even so, what assholes.”
*
She’d asked Dani for coffee to thank him for standing up for her. They’d met on several dates and, on the last date, she’d decided it was time to escalate. She’d invited him to swim and let him share the lane the pool had created for her.
At the deep end, they’d taken hands. They'd embraced in the water when it was time to get out. Maria felt his hands on her bare shoulders, felt his chest press gently to her breast and their bare thighs touch. Only then did Maria realise how deeply she had been yearning to be touched, how nice it was to feel a human body pressed to hers.
“Kiss me,” she whispered. Dani was happy to oblige.
She asked him to come to dinner at her assisted living apartment.
Maria had it all planned out. She was able to do the cooking herself. Lucia brought the hollow log and helped her with the wrapping and lighting the coal fire.
“Caga tio. I haven’t used one of these for a while,” Lucia said wistfully. She was remembering her childhood Christmases, remembering her parents stuffing the ‘Caga tio’ or, ‘Pooping uncle’ with presents. Lucia and her brothers and the neighbouring kids had danced around the hollow log with a smiling face, singing and exhorting the log to poop out their presents.
“Dani will know what it is but, hopefully, it’ll be the first time he’s used one,” said Maria.
Dani arrived on time. They hugged, so Maria could tell he was wearing a thick woolen jumper. He’d brought wine and they chatted over dinner. Every time Maria rose from the table, Dani would offer to help, but she told him no, he could do everything when they were at his place. Here, she was in charge.
When the meal was finished, she took his hand and led him to the living room. The hollow log was standing on a rug in the middle of the room. The painted face had blue eyes.
“Is that a Caga tio?”
“Yes! Ever used one?”
“No.”
“Good! First, you have to sing. It goes,
“Caga tió
Hazelnuts and nougats,
If you don’t poop gifts, I’ll hit you so hard!”
Both giggled.
“Ready? On three…”
Holding hands, they sang awkwardly together. Then Dani struck the log twice. After the blow, Maria heard the back open. There was a soft thud as the pack of six condoms fell out onto the carpet. There was the sound of wrapping paper being torn. Maria’s heart was in her mouth. Would he be surprised? Had she misjudged the situation? Had she moved too…
There was an interminable pause and then, to her inexpressible relief, his lips were on hers.
“Mine is a world of smells and sounds and touch,” she whispered into his ear as she slipped her hand under his jumper.
*
Smiling, she stretches her neck for his kisses. Tonight, the curtain must come down and the lights go up on a lifetime of fear, mistrust, and vulnerability. A kiss had always been appreciated before the barriers came crashing down again. Tonight, for Maria, the greatest of gifts is to relax and enter womanhood, and only she can give it.
With the greatest of care, he explains each item of his own clothing as he removes it, and then he confirms permission for each new area of her body he presses his lips to. As her body warms to intimacy, he is never refused.
Before sex, she explores his body. His chest is licked and smelt. His buttocks are kneaded like dough. His penis is squeezed in a fist.
When she is ready, she invites penetration. From behind the veil, she hears the fumbling with the condom and imagines, first the whole man and then the penis, and then the question she has waited twenty-three years to ask spills out,
“Do I look ok? Without clothes on? Be honest.”
Silence. Her heart races again.
“Well…”
“Yes?”
“You could do without the second head.”
Laughter breaks the tension.
“Do it,” she urges, and he pushes inside her and she gasps.
Under the benevolent, blind eyes of the Caga tio, the virgin Maria sees God.