As 'Michelle' outings go, It had been quite an evening. A milestone achievement in the life of a 'hanging on in there' cross-dresser. After fifty years of sporadic sessions, of pretending to be a female, and not since Michelle and Linda sauntered through the red-light district of Amsterdam, had I felt closer to my fem-side.
It was just after nine-thirty when I drove into the Old Coach-House Inn car park. It would appear that Saturday night business was booming judging by the lack of parking spaces.
"Over there! Over there!" My passenger spotted a vacant space. "Fuck! Too late."
"Hey, I'm only dropping you off. Remember?"
"Honestly... babe. You look fab." Bob was scanning the car park as he spoke.
"There! Beside the guy that's just parked up."
I pulled up alongside the guy that had just parked up. "Oh! Fuck!" It was rampant Raymundo.
"Hey! It's Raymundo!" Bob's chum Ray was exiting his vehicle. He hadn't noticed Bob as his eyes were transfixed on my legs. The passenger window slid down. "Oy oy! You ogling my bird's legs?" Bob sounded menacing.
Ray appeared startled until he recognized his pal. "Bobby!" He bent down to peer through Bobby's window. "And who is this pretty lady?"
I could feel my tremors begin again, making an assault over my whole body.
"This my friend, is Michelle. Michelle, this is Ray." Bob unbuckled his seatbelt and pushed Ray back when he opened the door. I pressed the switch to raise the passenger window.
"She's just dropping me off."
"No, no, no. C'mon, Michelle!" Ray wasn't having it. He walked around the back of the car, he appeared at my door.
Yes, I could have locked my door, but I wasn't to know that Ray would pull the door open. Raymundo was on the rampage.
"Out, girl!" Ray held the door open. "C'mon out!"
I had been in the Coach House Inn around seven years ago, in male mode, and always thought it had an ambience that would suit Michelle. I never did, but I had a feeling that that was about to change.
I did have a throat like a camel's ass-hole and the thought of a refreshing soft drink was lip-smackingly tempting. I was relieved to find my shakes had vanished.
Ray was making it apparent that he was holding the door until I got out. I gathered up my bag, and with the aid of the vanity mirror, gave my teeth a rub with my finger, to remove the exuberance from my last lippy application. I made my exit with my head down. I couldn't look Ray in the eye, but I knew I was under close scrutiny.
"Where did you find this one, buddy?" Ray addressed, Bob as he swung the door closed.
Bob laughed. "One in a million my friend. One in a million." He continued laughing.
"Yes, I certainly am." I thought as I locked the car up. I took Bob's arm as we walked towards the pub. Ray followed close behind me. "I think he fancies me!" I confided in Bob's ear.
"D'ya think!" My Bob was in high spirits. After all, he had consumed three cans of Stella Artois and had his balls emptied. He continued laughing.
"Do you think what?" Ray was feeling left out. "And what's so funny?"
The lounge bar was surprisingly quiet. I overheard the barman tell Bob that the church next door had something on and that it was a shared car park.
"Get them in Bobby!" Ray wrapped his arm around my waist and escorted me to a corner alcove. "We'll grab a seat."
"Sparkly water for you, Meesh?" Bob knew the score. I was driving.
Ray plonked me down on a double bench seat, out of sight of the bar. He sat down beside me and ushered me to the other end of the seat. "Now this is cosy." The boy wasn't shy.
"So, how long have you known Bob, Michelle?"
I still hadn't had any eye contact with Ray, my hair helped hide my profile. I was more concerned that my voice might let me down, with untold consequences.
I croaked quietly "A few years." I wasn't comfortable in my coat and decided to remove it. I got to my feet and looked over the alcove partition. I could see the top of Bob's head, he appeared to be talking with someone at the bar.
"Has anyone ever told you that you have amazing legs?" I took his chauvinistic observational question to be reciprocal. I straightened my dress and sat back down beside the rampant one.
"It's just that, I've never seen you before. I think I would have remembered!" I let Ray prattle on. "I thought I knew all his gals!" He placed his hand on my leg just below the hem of my dress. In hindsight, I should have rejected his bold advances. But I didn't. I was actually thinking of taking him out to the carpark and blowing him.
I could hear Bob's laugh approaching from behind me. Ray removed his hand from my thigh just as he came into view. "Hey, guys! Look who I just met at the bar!"
"Hi...ya!" A head appeared from around the corner. She made me after 'hi'. The 'ya' was an afterthought.
I refrained from delivering my Bogey impersonation. "Of all the bars, and all the gin joints..."
To say Linda was overwhelmed with the shock of seeing me with Rampant Raymundo would be a gross understatement. I thought her legs were about to buckle. I looked at Bob and expressed with my face 'Why the fuck did you bring THEM over!'
Both girls looked stunning in their tight jeans. Linda was wearing her red leather blouson jacket over a pristine white blouse, unbuttoned enough to show off a jaw-dropping cleavage. Her companion Judy wore a three-quarter-length leather jacket, over a red silk blouse open enough to display an ample bosom.
"Oh! The more the merrier." Ray removed a pint from Bob's tray and handed me my water.
Linda slid onto the adjacent seat opposite me. Judy sat by her side, straight across the table from Ray. Bob retrieved a stool from another alcove and sat at the end of the table.
"Cheers!" Bob raised his pint. His toast was acknowledged by all. "Ray... you've met Linda before, and this lovely lady is..." He looked at Linda to refresh his memory.
"This is my friend, Judy."
It's important to note that Judy has been a role model of mine for over thirty years. I base Michelle on an exclusive coven of females that I know, and Judy is one of them. She's blonde, like me. Attractive, like... modesty forbids. Nevertheless, I was appreciative of the dim lounge lighting.
There was a moment of silence while all five of us took a mouthful from our respective glasses.
"Sorry, I didn't catch your girlfriend's name." Judy threw in her tuppence worth.
"Michelle!" I was impressed that Ray remembered.
"Hi, Michelle." I smiled and nodded and mouthed 'hi' in reply. Judy was looking at me with an air of curiosity. "So you know Linda!" I couldn't believe that she hadn't recognized me.
It was over thirty years since Judy had been told by Linda's ex-partner that I dressed in women's clothes, She poo-pood it, thinking they were the words of a scorned partner. When Judy told Linda on a night out around ten years ago, they laughed at the very thought.
Linda and I have considered more recently, telling Judy about Michelle. We think she would 'get it'.
"Yeh! Michelle and I go back years! Must be... What? Over thirty years!" Linda looked at me for confirmation. I nodded and took another gulp of fizzy water. "I'm sure you two have met before." I almost choked on my mouthful.
This only meant for a higher level of scrutiny. Judy shook her head. "No! You would think I'd remember." She smiled at me and I smiled back.
Ray put his hand back on my thigh! I lifted it off, looked at his watch and reacted like Cinderella at five to midnight.
I gave out a high-pitched squeak. Picked up my coat and bag, and attempted to squeeze past Ray. My sudden compulsion to leave mystified everyone seated at the table.
"Was it something I said?" Ray moved just enough for me to slide by.
Bob got to his feet and gave me a reassuring wink. He gave me a hug before kissing me on both cheeks. "Don't be a stranger."
I turned to bid farewell with a girly wave just as Linda gulped down her drink. She slammed her empty glass down onto the wooden table-top.
"C'mon, Jude. Michelle can give us a lift. Save on a taxi. Would that be alright, Michelle?"
Judy looked bewildered as to the abruptness of Linda's sudden haste to leave. She rose from her seat and downed her wine, to join the leaving party.
I was already at the lounge bar door, while the other two girls were still hugging and kissing their goodbyes. I walked through to the lobby to be met by a young woman coming out of the Ladies' toilet. She held the door open for me to enter. I could smell the scent she had freshly applied seconds earlier. I smiled courteously and entered the PINK powder room.
I placed my bag between two sinks, freeing me, to put my coat on. I heard the girls and their giggles as they passed outside. I observed my every move in the large wall mirror, adjacent to the sinks.
"There she is!" Judy spotted me exiting the ladies' room. "Where are you parked?"
Linda had spotted the car and was making her own way towards it. "Come on you two, it's freezing.!"
Judy grabbed my arm and followed Linda. "She seems to know where your car is."
And so she should. It's half hers.
"Open the door, I'm freezing!" Linda was stamping her feet by the passenger door. I clicked my key fob to allow her entry. She claimed the front passenger seat, while Judy got in the back.
"Drop Judy off first." Linda thought I'd purged my girly outfits a year ago, and I sensed that she wasn't over-enthusiastic by the resurgence of my female persona.
Linda knew about my crossdressing before we got together. I 'came out' to her, and her partner during a threesome. She insisted on seeing me dressed and was blown away by the result. Since then she has bought me half a dozen wigs, shoes and make-up, and has been more than happy to share her wardrobe. Hence my slight disappointment at her present attitude.
I drove out into the open road and headed for Judy's home. I could see our backseat passenger in my rear-view mirror.
"Turn left at the..." Judy began to give me directions.
"It's OK. She knows where to go." Linda's interruption went without response. "Do you think we should tell her?"
"Yes, I think she should know." Judy thought the question was directed at her. "Your boyfriend Ray tried to slip me his tongue as we were leaving."
Linda laughed "No! Not you... HIM!" Her gender ambiguity was deliberate.
"Who?" Judy still wasn't getting it.
"Me!" I replied in my deepest baritone while peering into the mirror to observe Judy's reaction.
"What! Who! No... No way." She was scrutinizing my reflection in the rear-view mirror. With every headlight from an oncoming vehicle lighting me up, she finally sussed me. "Mathew?"
She shrieked a scream. "Oh, My God!" She continued to scream and giggle interspersed with expletives. "So all of Ritchie's accusations were true." Judy was referring to Linda's ex-partner's attempts to disparage my good name thirty years ago.
"Guilty as charged!" I looked over my shoulder briefly, and gave Judy a wink.
"He's good though, eh!" Encouraging words from my wife.
"Fuck! Yeh!" Judy was shaking her head in disbelief. "Fucking amazing!"
"What I want to know is... where does Raymondo fit in." Linda was curious as to why I was with Rampant Ray.
"I wasn't with Raymondo. I was with Bob." My brief explanation didn't pacify her curiosity.
"BOB! You were out with Bob?"
"Well no, not exactly. I gave him a lift to the pub." I omitted to tell her about our 'shenanigans' prior to his lift.
I hadn't allowed for my detour to Judy's and a quick glance at the fuel gauge told me that it would be advisable to fill up at the next petrol station.
It took Judy a few minutes to calm down from her bout of hysteria. "What I don't get is why you do it!"
"Because I can!" was my easiest uncomplicated answer. "It's a power thing. The power of the pussy."
I could see the neon BP sign in the distance, and as I approached there were a couple of cars in the forecourt. I drew up alongside one of the six fuel pumps. There were three guys inside the brightly lit kiosk and a middle-aged lady behind the till.
I checked myself in the vanity mirror for the umpteenth time that evening, before pressing the petrol cap release button.
"Would you like me to do it?" Linda was offering to do the fuel filling.
"No, you're fine. I'll manage." I was already halfway out of the car with the handbag in my clutches. "Does anyone require anything from the shop?" Michelle's huskiness had returned and I was back in the zone.
Judy laughed while Linda shrugged her head in resignation.
I could see Judy clearly through the rear door window. I gave her a cheeky smile as I inserted the hose nozzle. One of the guys was exiting the kiosk and making his way back to his BMW. I could see the back of a blonde female's head sitting in the passenger seat.
I estimated the guy to be in his mid-forties. Clean-shaven and smart in a navy suit, white shirt and tie. I guessed him to be some sort of salesman. We made eye contact briefly. My attention was interrupted when the fuel pump indicator reached the £20 mark. I replaced the fuel cap, closed the flap and returned the nozzle to its rightful place.
It did occur to me to struggle with the nozzle just to see if he would react, by offering his assistance, but he was already entering his car. I was back on the catwalk as I strutted my way past his vehicle. I glanced back and caught a glimpse of his blonde passenger through the windscreen. She was quite attractive if a little on the chubby side. His interior light began to fade just as we made eye contact again. I smiled and he grinned back. He took a while to start his engine and I felt his stare all the way to the automatic kiosk doors.
My passengers watched, bewildered by my blatant flirting. Judy was laughing while my wife shook her head. She had bore witness to this type of performance countless times over many years.
I entered the petrol station shop. The two guys that I'd spotted earlier were by the coffee machine engrossed in conversation. Both were dressed casually in blue jeans and looked to be thirty-ish. One wore a plain black T-shirt and the other a blue denim shirt. One wore spectacles, and the other didn't. As I approached the counter, their conversation ceased.
"Good evening dear." The lady behind the till smiled as she accepted the £20 note I had retrieved from my wallet from inside my handbag. "Is that everything?"
I mouthed the word 'toilet', and she pointed towards a small corridor by the side of the Costa Coffee machine.
"You'll need this." She handed me a key. I smiled in appreciation and walked towards the two young men that had been ogling me since I entered the shop. My open coat revealed my full body as I sauntered past them.