Cheating does not have to be having sex with someone other than your spouse, but rather cheating your spouse out of something.
My name is Leonidas. I am sixty-seven fucking years old. I was sitting up in the recliner, bandaging my hands. I lost my touch, I cut both my hands sharpening my spear. I needed another Corona, but I couldn’t open it, I didn’t want to break my teeth trying to open one. Where the fuck was my brother Stéphanos when I needed him? A few minutes later the doorbell rang, and I yelled, “It’s open, I’m on the monster deck.” It was Stéphanos, was it telepathy? The name Stéphanos, means 'wreath, crown.’
Stéphanos stepped out saying, “What the fuck did you do?”
I told him what had happened. I asked him, “Where is your shield and spear?”
Stéphanos said, “I left them at home.”
I replied, “Lazy.”
Stéphanos is my baby brother, who is seven years younger. I told him, “I need some help. Open three Coronas for me and cut two limes in half. Now, if you still have your strength, penetrate them. Half the lime through the top of the bottle, and save the other half for me later.” He did it.
I praised him saying, “Proud of you, my little brother you still have some strength left. Put the three Coronas back in the cooler on the ice for me. By the time I finish these, my hands will be healed.”
I told him, “I called cousin Bobby, then went to see Lucian.”
Stéphanos said, “You're fucked.”
I replied, “Yeah I can’t get her out of my fucking head.”
Stéphanos said, “You’re ready to lay down your shield and spear?”
I told him, “Never.”
Stéphanos told me, “I like Athena, she is pretty and sweet, but also on the shy side. I know you will win the battle.”
He was utterly shocked, fully aware of my limited but fervent conquests.
Stéphanos said jokingly, "Did you like, ahh, ahh, dip the spear into the water?"
I told him, “I can’t, she is a virgin. I have too much respect for her and her parents. Besides, if something happened, I didn’t want her father chopping my spear in two with a sickle as he did with the Turks in his dreams. Don’t say anything until I ask her to be my bride, not even Dad.”
Stéphanos said, “Damn big brother, fuck, fuck, fuck, you are so fucked. I am happy for you, I never thought I would see this day.”
He looked at me with that mischievous Spartan shit-eating grin. I could see right through him, he was already starting to plan the bachelor party in his head. He then left.
As I sipped on my Coronas, I was reminiscing back in time about Ellie, two years before Athena. Ellie is a widower with two great kids. Ellie would regularly come down to the beach from the city with her girlfriend Jackie for a day of sun, food, and drinks. God, what a body in that bikini for a petite woman. She had small breasts, dark olive Italian skin, and those fucking gorgeous hips. Ellie always had her eyes locked on me, it felt like she was stripping and ravaging me all the time. Jackie was older, and what a hot shit too with her laughter.
We did not call them “MILFs” back then, just an older woman, now I guess a “MIF”. So, after she shook her ass and gave me those “Goo Goo Eyes” for three weeks we hooked up. It was a hot night in July, they came back down to the restaurant bar. Both were there for a while drinking, they also loved our Greek snail salad.
Dad had noticed her eyeballing me saying, "Someone is hot for you."
My Uncle George later handed me a note with her address and phone number. My uncle said to me in Greek, “Gaarmoto, Thelo Esee”, meaning “God damn she wants you.”
I was bringing some dinners out to the bar when Ellie came over to me.
Ellie asked me, “Can you come over?”
I replied, “I would love to, but I can’t get there till two AM,” and she then explained the directions to her house.
When we closed the joint, I jumped on my Harley and headed for the city. It was a beautiful night riding up ninety-five north with the wind hitting my body and through my hair. Before approaching the house, I cut the engine and coasted into the driveway. She was waiting for me at the door as I approached, took me by the hand leading me upstairs. We sat on the couch and talked as I was sipping a beer, she was lying down propped up with her feet on my lap. God, those beautiful petite feet. I put my hands on them, massaging them, she was loving it!
After an hour, she said, “I can’t take it anymore.” She grabbed my hand and led me to the bedroom.
She said, “I'll be right back.”
I stripped and got under the sheet. She came in with just a big tee shirt. She slid in cuddling with me, one leg lying on my spear, kissing and our hands roaming. I was so fucking rock hard as she got up, straddling my thighs, taking her tee shirt off, and letting down her hair. She grabbed my spear with both hands, lightly stroking it, closing her eyes in ecstasy. With such passion, she was licking me, suckling my tip, and then taking me in her mouth up and down.
At one point she looked up at me and said, “Will you do me a favor, will you cum in my mouth?”
I nodded, God that was a first for me, I loved it! Unsurprisingly I dosed off with her in my arms after working a fourteen-hour day. I guess after a couple of hours, I had awoken to her kisses and her teasing fingernails. Once regaining my composure, I rolled her onto her back.
I got on top of her, and she wrapped her legs around me, her arms and legs squeezing me so tight. I just looked into her eyes as I slowly entered her, God she was so fucking tight. Slow steady deep thrusting making her feel every inch, she dug her nails into my back while pivoting her hips to take me deeper. We were both ready to explode as she shuddered under me, both coming together. I was running my fingers through her hair, kissing her cheeks as she came down from her orgasmic bliss. God this woman could scrape the chrome off my Camaro bumper with the muscles inside her, so tight!
Ellie took both her hands to my face looked into my eyes and said, “You are my first since my husband passed.”
I replied, “I am honored, it was amazing.”
She said, “Will you come back to me?”
“I will as much as you want, I will save myself just for you,” I replied.
We copulated two more times, my back looked like there was a catfight on it.
God, she was so cute. One morning in the winter staying over when I came out of the bedroom, her mother was there. A surprising visit.
O dear God, the look she gave me.
Ellie said, “Leonidas, this is my mother.”
I was in damage control now. I asked her name in Italian.
She replied, “Maria.”
I replied in Italian, “A beautiful name, the same as my Italian grandmother.”
Maria gave me a slight smile, damn that broke the ice.
Ellie and I had this physical attraction for a year and a half.
We did every position including a try at anal that she wanted, but we failed at that, her too small and me too big according to her.
We both knew we were doomed for failure with her being twelve years older. We had a sad breakup about seven months before I met Athena.
What a memory forever in my heart. I hope for the same with Athena.
THE PREPARATION
I was going to ask Athena to marry me a few days before Christmas. I was ready, I wanted to do it on Sunday because Christmas was on a Wednesday.
I was thinking about how I was going to get her father Adoni outside. I wanted to ask him for his daughter’s hand in marriage, without her mother knowing. You know, she has the biggest Greek antennas in the world, transmitting and receiving.
I had told my parents before I was leaving. My mother had tears in her eyes as she hugged me.
Mom told me, “I love Athena, she’s a good girl.”
My dad, on the other hand, was sitting at the head of the table with his special expression. Dad makes this expression with his lips. It’s between happy and clenched lips, it’s his special Spartan train of thought while tapping his finger, tap, tap, tap. I knew what he was thinking.
In his mind, he was saying, “I’m happy for you son, your aunt, my sister is dancing in heaven for you. Something I should have done a long time ago."
He got up from the table, shook my hand, and he said, “Good luck!”
The first time I saw him smile. Dad was going to get a Greek daughter-in-law. He was hoping by the grace of God, Greek grandchildren 75% Greek and 25% Italian. He knew they would be baptized in the Greek Orthodox Church. He was proud of me and my brother. Our grandfather, his father Demetrios was on the council to build the first Greek church in the state.
Our mother stuck her nose where it didn’t belong with my aunt. They hadn’t talked for years. My aunt owned the two businesses down the beach, her husband passed in 1956. He died in his parking lot picking up a bottle, a heart attack? Every time mom argued with dad he would go down to the beach.
My aunt would always tell him, “Go home to your wife and children it will work out.”
I always sensed our mother was jealous of my aunt, money maybe? She wasn’t just his sister, she was his mother too, from the age of twelve. Eventually, our parents divorced. My dad moved into the house by himself. Later my brother ended up down the beach also he could not take it. Later on, things got better between our mother and us, first me then my brother, a fog in my timeline.
As I was driving to Athena's house, I wondered if Athena's mother knew something was up. She could smell anything coming from twelve miles away.
THE PROPOSAL
I arrived at Athena’s, I did not want to keep the ring box in my pocket since it would have been bulging. So, I put it on my pinky finger with the stone facing inside my palm.
I rang the doorbell, and her mother answered. She gave me the two-cheek kiss. Something seemed off, but I couldn't figure out what it was. I can’t remember who told me that Adoni was in Louisiana, his sister was dying in the hospital, or had passed.
Thinking to myself, “What the fuck am I gonna do now, my shield is disintegrating there is not much left of it.”
We had her usual Sunday dinner of Avgolemono Soup, eye round roast, patatas, carota, salata, Greek olives, and of course Feta cheese. She cooks her roast too long for six hours.
I said to her, “It only needs two hours. to cook.”
Her mother always overcooked everything!
I had the ring on my pinky, the diamond was between my pinky and my finger. I was sitting at the kitchen table and did not realize my fingers were spread open. Athena stood up to clear all our plates. I almost had a fucking heart attack. As she turned to bring the plates to her mother, a light had shined into the diamond and made a sparkle.
One of her brothers noted something and said, “What’s that light?”
I said, “Oh, it must have been the light shining off the knife under my hand.”
But there was no knife there.
They said something in Greek to each other, something with “trellos” meaning crazy.
I was thinking they must have thought, “Is this guy fucking crazy or losing it?”
Her mother was always at the sink, living and dying by it, surrounded by tons of paper towels.
After her mother made me Greek coffee in those special cups. When I finished drinking it, I turned the cup upside down letting it dry. She would read my fortune as she had done many times before. I flipped it back over looking at the shapes and lines, damn how could you read this fucking shit? She looked inside the cup, twisting it around looking inside.
I thought to myself, “Here it fucking comes again, you can’t bullshit a Spartan."
Then she spoke, “Long journey, fork in the road, money, marriage, and many children.”
Little did she know she would be partially correct in a few minutes.
Now thinking back if she had said twin girls I would need four shots of Ouzo with this Corona on my monster deck because I do have twins.
Now she brings out all the fruit, and pastry. Damn, do I need to say it makes me feel bloated looking at it? Where does she keep all this stuff?
“Fi, fi, fi,” the mother said, meaning “eat, eat, eat.”
Athena was sitting across from me. I had my left hand clenched in a fist. Didn’t want the diamond to sparkle again.
Athena saw the ring, she said, “Oh, what’s that?”
I told her, "My father gave me my aunt’s wedding ring. They had to cut it off her finger in the hospital when she passed."
Athena said, “Could I see?”
So, I kept my fist closed and showed it to her.
Athena said no, “Take it off please.”
I said, “I can’t It was a hard time getting it on.”
She reached out her hand and rubbed her finger against it. God, I was sweating bullets. If her father was here and seen that, my head would be gone, sickle remember?
IT WAS TIME TO DO OR DIE
Her brothers had left, I forgot where they said they were going. They must have gone to Barry’s, a nightclub five minutes down the street on the water. The place had three discos, cheap drinks, and lots of girls. Her mother was at the sink as usual sweating with the steaming hot water.
Athena was sitting on the couch. So, I went over there and sat next to her. I used my left-hand fingers to pick up her left hand to put it on top of my right hand, then cover her hand with my left. I was thinking if her father were here on a normal day, I would have to sit twenty feet away.
We were the only ones in the living room. She looked at me strangely feeling something in my hand.
I said to her, “Athena, I‘m so sad your father is away, I wanted to ask him something today, but it can’t wait.”
My fucking heart was pounding, and my shield in the corner was half back. She was breathing heavily now, her fruits of Babylon were rising and falling.
I told her, "I wanted to ask him for your hand in marriage first, but I can’t wait. I have been planning this for a month."
I turned my left hand over showing the diamond.
I told her, "I love you very much, will you marry me?"
She looked into my eyes with tears and softly said, "Yes."
I took my hands on each side of her head while my thumbs wiped away her tears and gave her the sweetest softest kiss ever. I put the ring on her finger, still there now forty-one years later. My shield was restored and glowing never seen it so bright.
I was standing in the doorway as Athena brought a cup to her mother at the sink. Her mother grabbed the cup not seeing the ring. Athena kept her hand there in front of her mother’s face. Her mother finally realized what happened. She dropped the cup into the dirty water and splashed the water all over the clean dishes and herself. Her mother started screaming. She gave Athena the biggest and only hug I had ever seen her give her.
My hands were in my pockets, and tears dripping from my eyes. She came over to me and gave me four kisses, two for each cheek. Her eyes were red and her tears flowing. God, where is a tractor-trailer full of Kleenex when you need it? Then reality set in.
Athena's mother said “O BarBar Su.” Meaning, “Your father.”
The Greek language was flowing out so fast a recorder couldn’t even keep up.
Athena took her mother’s hands and told her, “Sopa, sopa” meaning “quiet, quiet.”
Athena had explained to her what I told her had transpired. Her mother said a few things in Greek too.
Athena said to her, “Ka thala vess” meaning “Do you understand.”
Then Athena looked at me and said, “It’ll be okay.”
Her mother turned to look at me, untied her apron, and just flung it in the air. She then dived for the phone.
I was chuckling, "Yeah, right fuck the damn dishes for once," I thought.
Faster than a speeding knife cutting through Feta, the speed dial primed ready for overdrive. Her antennas are set to full transmission power it has begun, God help us all! I went home I was tired. Her brothers would be out all night.
My parents asked how it went, I said, "Perfect, we just have to set a date."
They were so happy, especially my father!
CHRISTMAS DAY
Wow, Greece is seven hours ahead and is lit up like a Christmas tree with the phone calls.
Athena called me and she said, “My mother dozed off in the chair next to the phone still holding it to her ear buzzing with a tone so I put a blanket on her.”
I told Athena, “When she wakes up give her three shots of Ouzo, she’ll be good for 400 more calls.”
Athena told me, “We were all invited to Uncle Cristo’s house.”
My parents did not go, they may have already made plans for Christmas Day with my aunt and Uncle Al.
It was already 11:00 AM, and I had to get ready and leave. I did the three S’s. I was pumped and ready, looking at my spear and shield, "My old friends Merry Christmas" I said.
Christos’s house was only a minute away from Athena’s. As I was driving down the airport road, I was imagining what was awaiting me. I knew Christo would be happy and his wife also. Whenever Christos’s wife waited on me at the restaurant, serving me a coffee I would push her a dollar she would crumple it up in her hand. She would always put the dollar back in my hand.
“Go, go,” she would whisper. What a sweet woman.
I pulled up in front of his house Cristos's kids came out yelling, "We are Sparta, cousin, cousin, cousin."
Athena’s brothers came out too, giving me hugs and calling me, "Brother-in-law."
All fist pumping in the air and yelling, "Whoop, whoop, whoop."
I sat at the table talking to Christos while his wife tried to keep stuffing me with food.
Christos said, “Where is your family from, we never have time to talk at the restaurant.”
I told him, “I am Spartan, I have Spartan blood in my veins. My family is from Neapolis Laconia.”
Christo said, “Pana yia moo” which means “My God.”
He slapped his hand to his forehead.
He asked his wife, "Please get the Cognac and two shot glasses."
He said, “I am from Sparta too, Kalamata, Northwest of you.”
"Oh shit, I’m in trouble now," I thought.
He poured me a shot and we toasted. He poured me another shot, we toasted again.
I told him, “Christo that’s it for me.”
I had to get out of there, he was going to get me cocked, and I did not want to sleep over.
Athena walked me to my car. I went to kiss her. I got a smirky kiss, and her eyes looked away.
I said, “What the hell is that?”
Athena said, “They are watching.”
I looked at the picture window, there must have been 15 heads looking and smiling.
I said, “So what, do you love me and want to have babies with me someday?”
“Yes,” she said.
I said, "Then put your hands on each side of my face, look into my eyes, and passionately kiss me."
She did, wow, a minute’s worth. The house vibrated with cheers.
"Much better," I thought.
AS TIME PASSED
We went on our usual dates, but one time we went to Providence Town in the summer. I heard it was a gay community, but the shops and restaurants were fabulous. I heard it was an old ship's port of call. We ate at the Lobster Pot next to the dock, a big place, it was fantastic. We both had a huge lobster roll, so fresh tasting.
We walked around holding hands, going to the shops. Passing by one place with a big open-picture window. A guy behind the window about two feet from the window was straddling a chair, no T-shirt and just shorts. His junk was hanging out of one side of his leg shorts. His tool was sticking out two inches. He looked at me and smiled admiring my muscular physique. I looked at him with my Spartan flaming blood boiling inside me, my eyes red.
Thinking to myself. “Do whatever you fucking want somewhere else, don’t you fucking know that kids are walking around with their parents.”
It was nothing against gays, my cousin Johnny was gay and I loved him dearly. Johnny died of AIDS in the late 1990's such a handsome guy too.
We had a great time there but the ride was too long mostly because of the traffic, it was going to take two hours.
Athena said, “I’m so tired now.”
I told her, "Take a beach blanket, fold it into a pillow, place it on the armrest, and take a nap."
She put her hands under her face and I placed my right hand on her arm. Athena then took my hand and placed it on her Babylon Valley, I slipped my hand in till my palm was over her fruitful Babylon cherry nub. She gave a little moan and drifted off to sleep. God I was in heaven, I was getting so hard in my jeans, shit! Thank God I didn’t have to shift gears since I was having a cargasm all the way home.
Part 4 The Batchelor party
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