I walked out of the room to the kitchen. It was late. I was emotionally drained. I needed to sleep. I put my scotch glass in the sink and leaned on the counter. I looked out the window into the darkness. I could see my faint reflection in the window glass. What I saw was not normal for me. No, I saw a partially beaten man whose castle was abnormally crumbling under him. I had to do something immediately to shore up the foundation of our marriage or decide to end it permanently. There were no other options.
I turned and saw Colleen standing across the room, hugging herself nervously and swaying. She was chewing her lips as she looked at me with sad eyes and tear-stained cheeks. If I thought I was defeated, I was nothing compared to Colleen.
When she saw the look on my face, Colleen collapsed into a chair, dropped her arms on the table, and her head onto her arms, sobbing. The realization of what she had done hit her like a devastating earthquake. It had destroyed her cheating world. Colleen doesn’t understand that the aftershocks were beginning and would change our lives. No matter, this all ends. She was waiting for me to say something, but she would not like what she was about to hear.
“Colleen, stop crying and feeling sorry for yourself. Please pay attention to my next words, as they are critically important. Colleen, from this moment on and until we settle this, you are no longer welcome in my bed. You will stay in the guest suite on the other side of the house. You can move your clothes and personal things tomorrow. You will not speak to me unless I speak to you first or ask you a question. There will be no conversations unless I start them, and they will end when I say so.”
Colleen raised her head. There was shock on her face. Colleen started to speak… but I raised my hand, palm out, and cut her off. “No talking!”
I walked to the kitchen desk, took a notepad and pen, and laid them on the island.
“Colleen, if you want to tell me something or request a conversation, you will use this pad to write what you want. I will read it and decide if I want to talk to you or if it wastes my time. If you speak without permission, I will punish you by locking you in your room. You no longer have any status in this house until I grant it back to you if I ever do that!
“As for the kids, I will arrange for Sue to take them to Tim’s condo at the beach for a week or more. Sue can home-school them while they are there to ensure they will not fall behind.
“Colleen, you are such a good liar and actress that you should easily be able to act as if nothing is happening when they come home on Sunday. They will leave again on Monday. They will know nothing about what is happening, and you will not show any emotions. Do you understand?”
Colleen dropped her head back down on her crossed arms and began to sob again. The true impact of her actions had finally registered with her, and she saw a cloud-filled, stormy future ahead.
“Colleen, you have fifteen minutes to get what you need for the night from our room, and then you need to leave my bedroom. Get your things now. I need to go to sleep.”
I watched as Colleen stood and walked past me, saying nothing as instructed. I turned away, not wanting to see the woman I loved in all the pain she was feeling. It hurt me. I looked out through the window into the darkness. It was like looking into my life now, dark with no reference for where this whole mess would end. The clock on the stove read 3:42 a.m. Looking back to eight hours ago, I thought my life was beautiful. Little did I know that it would turn into a complete HELL!
As I waited for Colleen to gather her things, I texted Edgar.
My text: “Hey buddy, how is our friend doing? I want you to scare the life out of him. I want you to get Esmeralda to do her things with him. Tell her what he did and have her teach him what he should never do again. I want her to give him the full treatment, so even the thought of fucking another man's wife will make him pee in his pants.”
Edgar responded.
Edgar’s text: “This guy is scared. He thinks we are going to kill him. I have assured him that he has a date with his company's senior staff and HR on Monday, and he will be in fine shape for that meeting. Since we are adding Esmeralda into the weekend, I am sure he will be worn out, but he will be in perfect shape for the meeting.”
My text: “Get Esmeralda scheduled. Whatever it costs, she has to do a number on Michael, humiliating him and teaching him respect for all women, especially married ones!”
Edgar’s text: “I am texting her now. We will give him to her all day tomorrow and let him rest on Sunday. Then, we will let her have him one more time Sunday night. That should do it.”
My text: “Do whatever you want with him, just make sure he is at the office at 9:00 a.m. Monday morning, dressed nicely and alive!
Edgar's text: “OK, Esmeralda confirmed the schedule. Let the fun begin.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Colleen came back through the kitchen and headed toward the guest suite. She looked at me with sad eyes, and a few tears rolled down her cheeks. I had to fight my emotions, but I did, and she walked on, not knowing what would happen next. I hoped she would be able to sleep. She needed it as badly as I did.
I went to my room and showered under the hottest water that I could stand. I was not sure what the future held for Colleen and me. Her betrayal was so blatant and aggressive that I could not see how we could survive as a couple. My beautiful life was coming to an end. My heart was broken, and what about our children? God, this was killing me. I slid down to the floor and sobbed under the hot water. I stayed there until the water started to cool.
I finally washed and left the shower. I dried and locked the bedroom door. I crawled in between the sheets naked. I lay there and closed my eyes, but I kept seeing that asshole and my wife kissing and fucking. I could hear their voices planning their future together, with me along for the ride in the sidecar. I thought I would never sleep, but finally, exhaustion won out, and I slept.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I awoke with a raging hard-on and had to pee. I ran to the bathroom and made a waterfall into the bowl. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. I dressed in shorts and a T-shirt and walked to the door wearing my crocks.
As I opened the door to the hall, Colleen greeted me. Lying on the floor, balled up in a blanket and sleeping. My heart sank as I saw my wife suffering so severely that she could not sleep across the house from me. I took a deep breath and walked past her down the stairs to the kitchen, leaving Colleen lying there.
In the kitchen, I smelled the brewed coffee Colleen had made. My cup sat beside the coffee maker, and there were several pages from the notepad where Colleen had written something for me.
I poured my coffee and picked up the pages. I went to my office and closed the door. I sat in my chair and began to read.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My mind was spinning. My God, what a selfish, stupid bitch I was and still am, I guess. That doesn’t just go away. Once you become a bitch, it stays with you!
What was going to happen to Michael? Not that I cared much about him anymore after he admitted he just used me as a fuck toy and didn’t care about me at all. Jesus, what an asshole he was, well fuck him!
I followed Franklin into the kitchen, shaking with confusion and fear. I had no idea what would happen, but I knew that whatever it was, I would not like it. I also knew that I deserved whatever Franklin decided for me. I was standing, hugging myself, nervously swaying and trying to think, but I couldn’t. All I saw was the end of my marriage and my life. My husband had said the ugly ‘D’ word… Divorce!
God, no, Franklin can’t divorce me. Without Franklin and my children, I would die. Maybe that is what should happen! Perhaps everyone would be better off if I just died!
I looked at Franklin. He was staring out the window, ignoring me. I could see his reflection in the windowpanes. I had never seen anyone suffering in pain; that showed on Franklin's face. It was much worse than when Franklin’s father passed away a year ago. Franklin was devastated. I comforted him and helped him through the ordeal. But now I see him showing even more profound pain, and I knew that what I had done to him was catastrophic! God, I did this to him. I was the cause and could not comfort him this time. I collapsed into a chair and sobbed into my arms for a while longer until no more tears fell. My only thought was how to save my marriage!
Then I heard Franklin talking about rules. One… I was banished from our bedroom to the other side of the house. Two… I could not speak to Franklin without his permission. I had to ask first or write notes. How would I ever be able to discuss this mess I had created if I could not talk to him? I would never be able to survive this. I wondered if Franklin wanted to save our marriage or if he was damaged so severely that he didn't care anymore. That thought sent a powerful fear coursing through me, and my heart sank. I was told to get my night clothing and whatever else from our bedroom and sleep in the guest suite. I left the room and did as I was told. When I came back through the kitchen, I said nothing and walked past Franklin to my new room.
I showered, trying to wash this mess and Michael off me permanently. I was not sure that could happen. I was drained and mentally exhausted. I dried off and crawled into bed naked. I wrapped myself in a blanket and tried to sleep. It did not come. I lay awake thinking of my loving husband lying in our bed alone, all because of my stupid actions. After a while, I decided to lie outside Franklin's room in the hallway. I could hear him breathing, and maybe I could sleep.
Walking through the kitchen, I saw a yellow pad and pen on the table. I had to write something to Franklin. I sat down, pulled the pad to me, and picked up a pen. I looked at the paper but was unsure how to start the letter. It was a struggle, but I began writing my story about how this happened. I prayed that what I wrote would make a difference to Franklin.
Franklin, my love…
I am unsure how to start this letter, but I must tell you my side of the story. I haven't been able to speak to you, so I must write this letter to tell you my story without the physical emotion I will feel while talking to you face to face. However, I would prefer to speak to you so we can converse and not be one-sided, as the letter will be.
Franklin, everything that has happened was never supposed to happen. I have never had even a fleeting thought about cheating on you. I love you completely, Franklin. No one has or will ever change that feeling, regardless of what happens now. I will love you for the rest of my life.
I know you don’t believe that now. Because any wife that loved their husband, as I say that I do, could never have betrayed their husband as I have. So, if that is true, how could I have done what I did to you? I understand your doubts and would feel the same if the situation were reversed. I would want to kill you and the person you cheated with. Yes, I get that, but those are your emotions taking over, and I was hoping you could think about this without emotions! It is the only way to see what happened. Please read this letter as many times as you have to be able to think without emotions. Franklin, please, I beg you!
OK, here it is in all its ugly glory…
When I was promoted, I was so excited to work with Michael. He was dynamic, and I knew I could learn much from him. Being chosen to be his assistant was an absolute honor. You know how excited and proud I was, and you were proud of me, too.
The first month or two were average, but being around Michael was exciting and affected me. As we worked close together, he seemed to touch me more and press against me at every opportunity. I didn’t think it was anything at first, but the more it happened, the more I liked it.
His compliments and praise on my looks and work were exciting and made me feel special. I also knew it was making me a little more sensual, and that played over to you and me. We benefited from Michael’s attention, which was good for us. I wanted to make love to you more. At the time, I never thought that it would lead to anything more, and I had never cheated on you, nor had the idea ever entered my head before or even then.
Then, one day, we went to lunch and somehow kissed. I am unsure how that happened, but it did, and that started everything. Michael began to flirt heavily with me, and I began to respond, liking the attention and innuendoes flying around.
Each week, Michael seemed to touch me more, and when we worked close in his office, he would kiss me occasionally. I knew it was wrong, but his attraction was so strong that I could not stop him. I was horny all the time, so when I got home, all I wanted to do was to fuck you, and we did every day. Our sex life improved, and your ED disappeared, and soon it was incredible again. I didn't realize it was my feelings for Michael that was driving me into bed with you, but when you and I were together, Franklin, I was madly fucking you and only you. Michael never entered my mind.
It was only at work that I had slightly sexual feelings for Michael. He started to put the press on me, and finally, one day, when we were working together in his office, he pulled me to him, smiled, and said, “Colleen, I am going to kiss you. You want me to, don’t you? “
I stared into Michael's eyes and felt mixed feelings rush through me: confusion, instant guilt, fear, and incredible lust. Then I thought of you, and what I would be doing was cheating on you and us. I pushed Michael away.
“Michael, I can’t do this. I am married and love Franklin. This is not right and could hurt my marriage.” I said, trying to make my point.
Michael moved to me again and said, “Franklin will never know. We will only do things here at the office, never outside.” He waved his arms around his office, his domain. “No one will know what happens in this office. You and I can be lovers; no one will be the wiser. Don’t you want that, Colleen? I know you have feelings for me. You know I have feelings for you.”
Franklin, Michael pulled me to him again and kissed me hard, and passion grew. I could not resist him and kissed him back. Before I knew it, Michael had locked the door and told Belinda to hold his calls.
He came to me and kissed me again, and Franklin, he had me. I cannot explain it, but something about him gripped me, and I was under his control. I lost all sense of everything: right, wrong, you, everything. That was the first time I did what he wanted and sucked his cock, and later, he fucked me for the first time.
After what happened that day, I felt so guilty, and it was a struggle to come home to you that night knowing what I had done. We didn’t make love that night or the next night. I had to clear my head and talk to Michael.
The next day, I told Michael we could not continue with anything but business, so no more fooling around. He was somewhat surprised but agreed to leave it alone… for now!
Things went well for a few weeks, with no actual flirting. Then Michael started flirting with me more each day. I began to like it, but I knew it was wrong. Michael also praised me for everything: my work, dress, makeup, figure. Then he started to touch me again. He sent shivers through me.
I liked his attention and flirted back, remembering that day in his office. I would get soaking wet, and I knew my scent was all around me. It drew Michael to me, and I was very receptive again. I knew he could sense that I was becoming an easy target, and I wanted it to happen again.
Franklin, I was so mixed up. I couldn’t come to you and tell you I cheated on you with Michael and expect you to help me end the mess. You would do what you plan on doing now: kick me out as I deserve.
I could not resist Michael, but there was no love. I only love you. As strange as that may sound when you read this into your head, it is 10,000% true. I only love you. Yes, I did lust after Michael, and soon, I was doing any sexual act he wanted me to, whenever he wanted me to do it. We were having an open sexual relationship exclusively in the office.
Franklin, there was only one time that we openly flirted and did other things outside the office. That was the night that Belinda took the pictures she sent to you that disclosed my affair with Michael. That night after we drank and danced, we went to a hotel and fucked for two hours before I came home late that night.
I felt so guilty that night and for two weeks after. I told Michael it was over and prayed I had the strength to make that statement stick. Well, I did it for two weeks, then Michael came to me and told me that we had to attend a five-day conference in California in two weeks. Michael explained that he was a key speaker, and I had to participate to ensure his speech was complete and to manage his daily appointments.
I was excited. I had only been to California once, to San Diego. We were going to San Francisco on this trip. You were excited for me, too. I worried about you being home alone and me being in California with Michael. I knew I could not be with Michael daily while we were away. I had to maintain some control and not let Michael own me on the trip.
Well, Franklin, we both know that didn’t happen. Michael fucked me on the second day, and for some reason, I agreed to move into his room for the week. There was this incredible draw to Michael when we were together. We were insatiable with each other, morning, noon, and night; some nights, all night long, we fucked and sucked, and he ate my pussy like a hungry animal.
Franklin, as hard as it is for me to say, the whole time with Michael when he was fucking me or eating me or when I was sucking his cock is a little blurry. I know we never made love, only fucked. I only make love to you, and it will always be you. Franklin, Michael fucked me like a rutting animal making me cum for hours. It was incredible. I had never cum so many times in my life.
When we came home from California, things had changed. There was a much stronger hold Michael had on me. There was still no love, but Michael and I were lovers. We found time almost every day to flirt and kiss, but we restricted our sexual activities to once or twice a week and always in Michael's office behind locked doors. Those days are blurry, too, but I know the sex was incredible.
As the weeks went on, we grew closer, almost inseparable, which began to cause a problem. We knew that others knew or suspected that we were lovers. That concerned us both, and we backed off for a few weeks. Then, one day, Michael called me to his office for a conference. I slipped my panties off as I usually did when I expected to have sex with him.
I went to his office, and he ordered lunch. That always meant we were going to eat lunch and have each other for dessert and fuck most of the afternoon. As we waited for the food, Michael kissed me and felt me up. I was so hot that when the food arrived, I didn’t want to eat all I wanted was for Michael to fuck me. But we ate first them he ravaged me all afternoon.
After we finished, Michael told me of his promotion and that he would relocate to California in a few weeks. That shocked me, and I was sad he would be leaving. I also realized that I had developed stronger feelings for Michael. I had a sinking feeling of my impending loss and began to cry. That shocked me, and I wondered if I was falling for him.
Michael held me and said, “Colleen, I want you to come with me. I want us to be together. I know you have feelings for me, and I love you.”
I was shocked and gasped at his words. He had never said anything like that before, and the L word had never been uttered between us. Franklin, that hit me hard, and I had difficulty breathing. I was lightheaded and did not know what to do.
Michael kissed me hard, and he consumed me. All my defenses were down, and in minutes, I was naked on my knees, stripping off the rest of Michael's clothes, his trousers, shorts, shoes, and socks, until he was as naked as I was. I sucked his cock, until he came in my mouth, and I swallowed his load.
Franklin, I was emotionally overwhelmed by what Michael had told me and his declaration of love. I was so confused about California, moving there, and about you and the family. There was no way I could ever leave you, my love, and our exceptional children. My head was spinning, but for some reason, I craved Michael.
Thinking back now, I don’t remember much more of that day. I was confused and emotionally messed up. I do remember being naked and fucked for the next three hours in every position we could. Michael repeatedly told me he loved me and wanted me to come to California with him. I was in such a state of sexual bliss and confusion that I said to him that I would go with him, but only if you and the kids could come, too, and our marriage became an open marriage.
Then Michael and I could continue our relationship, but you would be okay with it, and you could see other women. This all compounded my confusion, but I was unsure if you would agree and allow it to happen. However, it was the only way I would do it. I knew I could not lose you and our family. Michael doubted that you would go along, but he said he would work on a plan. Otherwise, Michael and I would be through when he moved.
When I came home that night, my guilt level was off the charts. It wasn't easy to look at or talk to you. I showered when I got home to get Michael's scent off me. We had dinner and a normal night together with the kids. I washed my pussy again before bed to make sure I did not smell of sex when we made love. That night, you made beautiful love to me and helped me regain some sanity.
A few days later, Michael told me he had also promoted me to his assistant position in California. He had also worked out a way for the company to purchase a home for our family in the Bay Area. That way, we could move, the family could stay together, and Michael and I could still be lovers. Our marriage would be open, and you could pursue other women. I thought about that option and whether you would agree. I had major doubts about that and felt sure you would never have agreed.
I knew our special dinner was coming up next week, and that was an opportunity to tell you about the plan. A few days before, Michael and I had a major fuck fest in his office. I became extremely horny as soon as I walked in and closed the door. I locked it and took off my clothes. We fucked for a long while, and Michael had me cumming all the time. Later, when we calmed down, Michael and I planned and rehearsed how I would tell you about my promotion and the need to move to California. Then, I would explain the opportunity for an open marriage. But you know all about that now, so I will not go through that again.
At our dinner out, you didn’t know what we had planned, but Belinda sent you pictures of Michael and me. You put your phone before me, and when I saw the picture. I was devastated, not knowing what to do. You ran to the men’s room, and I panicked, writing you a note, and leaving you at the restaurant. At that moment, all hell broke loose, and my world exploded! I didn’t want Michael alone. I love you and want you both. I realized that would probably never happen. I thought my life was over, and maybe I would be better off if I just killed myself.
I made a fateful decision. I had to save our marriage if that was even possible. I suddenly felt so guilty that I had to talk to someone who would not judge me and help me think through this mess I had helped create. I took an Uber to our Pastor's house, and he talked with me and helped me decide that I had to resign from my job to save our marriage. That was extremely hard to do, but the Pastor was right, and that is what I did.
Franklin, as you know now, I have resigned from my job. We have also learned that Michael is a fucking predator and doesn’t care about me. I have finally woken up from the misguided way I have lived for months. I was so naïve to allow myself to be swept off my feet by Michael's flirting and sexual dominance. Though I never treated you or the kids in any way other than a loving wife or mother. I have betrayed you gravely and understand you have lost all respect for me. Franklin, you most likely hate me for what I have done and will divorce me, leaving me on my own without you or my children and with little money. You are right to do so. I do deserve whatever you decide.
I will say this one last time, Franklin. I love you with all my heart and soul. I never meant this to happen, and I am profoundly ashamed of my actions. After what I did, I am unsure how you could ever exist with me as your wife. I do not deserve your love or respect. I do not know what I will do with the rest of my life, but it would be a miserable existence without you and our children.
I end this letter with a loving apology and declaration of my love for you now and always.
Franklin, I love you, my dear. Please believe me.
Colleen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I read the letter three times before I could read it the fourth time with no emotion. Each reading answered a few questions or clarified my thoughts as I combined all the pieces I had heard and seen.
On the fourth reading, I began to understand how Colleen had come under Michael's control and how she had let him seduce her. As much as Colleen loved me, our sex life had suffered due to my ED, and she felt that I no longer desired her. It was not true, but to Colleen, it was, and that was a hard blow for her, as it would be for any woman. At the same time, a virile man had her attention in her work life. He used my inadequacy to play on her feelings, eventually seducing her and starting their office affair.
