Erica's blabbing about our country-western bar hop with Thumper transformed “A-T” to "Now Now" and into an “Affairs Circle” star. A trophy ring quest among the members ensued. It was notoriety I didn’t relish. Outsider’s gossip about members would eventually compromise my staid super mom/wife image. I wanted out.
To exit, I stopped aiding and abetting their affairs, renounced mine, avoided those in the group and only smiled if one was met by chance, then scurried away. My parting advice was.
“Put your family first, avoid alpha males and pursue your husband.”
Hypocritical words said that fell on deaf ears.
I did stay friends with Erica. She was a neighbor, our boys played together and I liked her. To convince her Thumper was history, I told her, he'd lost interest in me, I in him, and he was history, a lie until it did end.
She continued to narrate her escapades to me while she assumed, I was out of action. She dated a Japanese produce man we nicknamed Tojo. He was short, married, a Zeta and enthralled by his Nordic goddess. He delivered produce to restaurants that demanded the best. We had fruits and vegetables unattainable in the grocery store with my orders placed by Erica.
He bought her a trophy ring but she continued dating young alpha males and tried to entice me into having sex with them at her house in mini orgies. She was never jealous and didn’t expect her lovers to be faithful. I declined and avoided visiting when they came to her house to retain my social chastity appearance.
Within a year of my breaking up with Darryl, the "Affairs Circle" imploded. By 1983 AIDS reared its ugly head. Prior to it, a condom was considered a hindrance in an affair with the woman expected to be on “the pill”. Now it was a mandatory accessory as the number of players rapidly shrunk.
Over half the Affairs Circle members divorced, most due to a husband's discovery but a few wives left to marry their lover. None who divorced moved up. For most, it was a precipice step down socially, economically and in man.
One, Sue, married her young alpha stud when her husband divorced her. She tried desperately to find her new hubby a high paying job like her ex had to continue the lifestyle she was accustomed to. She ended up, a twice-divorced, lonely, middle-aged woman with grocery store clerk employment. To be courteous, I initially checked out at her cashier but could tell she was embarrassed for me to see what fate dealt her. In empathy, I switched and shopped at a different store.
Erica was caught in bed with an alpha male by her husband's private investigator who provided her husband with photo finish proof. Avoiding the Affairs Circle, barhopping with Erica, not being at her house when her men were there and concealing Thumper, saved me. Erica’s husband demanded child custody and no alimony. Nervous about receiving a subpoena to testify in a divorce, I cut off my relationship to avoid being dragged into the muck. It was unnecessary. She eagerly agreed to a house sale, and cash settlement, packed up, and left to where the action was, LA sans son.
The husband having custody was best. The boy continued to play at our house and eat my cinnamon rolls. She worked at the LA Airport Hertz rental car agency, perfect for her to meet executive alpha males. She stopped by and visited occasionally for a couple of years after her divorce and titillated me with her LA International Airport pilots and businessmen amorous exploits.
After a few years, she met a controlling, dominant, Lebanese male who married her. He managed her by never letting her out of his sight. They soon had two kids. She visited with her new husband once but we only got to talk in whispers when he was in the other room. She no longer had anything amorous to say and was happy to be controlled. It’s what she needed.
Those who avoided divorce by evading exposure or threw their lover under the bus for a husband who forgave them, renewed wedding vows. Some gained weight, dressed slovenly and risked losing their husband while faithful. Others kept trim, attractively adorned themselves and continued the battle of the sexes with their husband as the trophy. I evaded exposure and joined the latter.
The ’70s were over. Promiscuity was again out. The Red Guards of AIDS and other STDs crushed the Sexual Cultural Revolution. I wondered if Edward knew things others didn’t from his research with his condom use.
I was a survivor, happily married with children, due to stealth but also luck, luck that I didn't slip and trip, luck my husband didn't stumble on the truth and luck condoms kept me safe. Maybe it wasn't luck. Maybe it was my guardian angel, or my husband's or the kids'. Maybe God saved me. It didn't matter, I accepted my survivor's status and skipped the “what if’s”.
The kids needed attention as their school and sports activities expanded. My revival was as a full-time mom and faithful wife. I stopped flirting.
Then, coming home from work one evening in 1984, my husband announced.
“Honey we need to talk. We need to talk about something serious. It’s about us and the future. It requires you to tell me something, not tonight but by tomorrow. It’s complicated. We’ll discuss it after dinner.”
“What is it? Tell me what you need to know, now.”
“No, no, after dinner, after the kids are fed and watching TV. I got to think how to say it too.”
I switched from cooking to panic.
Something’s up, he’s been moody, withdrawn, even disinterested in sex.