When I masturbate, I imagine that my penis is a dragon. If my penis were a dragon, he would be deep reddish-gold and bigger than a horse. He’d have two strong legs and two bat wings with a span even longer than he is. He’d have scaly pointed fox ears, whiskers, long sharp teeth, and eyes that you’d better not look into. Most of the time, the dragon sleeps, curled up in a ball like a cat. Or he wakes, stretches, yawns, and...