How many times do you want to scream, "They're fiction! They don't exist so they really aren't cheating!"
MEN'S THOUGHTS DURING LOVE MAKING
Kissing/Light Petting:
What he hopes you're thinking: "Oh, I can't resist: I'm powerless before your seductive ways!"
What he's afraid you're thinking: "Garlic breath--ew!"
I HOPE I SHAVED AND THAT HE LIKES MY PERFUME.
Undressing:
What he hopes you're thinking: "My God, look at the SIZE of that!"
What he's afraid you're thinking: "My God, look at the size of that!"
IS THAT BIG THING GOING TO FIT IN ME?
Foreplay/Oral Sex:
What he hopes you're thinking: "I could worship at the alter of your impressive manhood for hours."
What he's afraid you're thinking: "If he doesn't warn me before he cums, I'm going to kill him."
I LOVE THE TASTE OF HIM.
Penetration:
What he hopes you're thinking: "You stallion, you're splitting me in half!"
What he's afraid you're thinking: "Is it in yet?"
GOD, IS THAT GOING TO FIT? MMMMMMMMM, OH YES IT DOES.
Your Orgasm:
What he hopes you're thinking: "Yes, (his name here), yes!"
What he's afraid you're thinking: "I deserve an Academy Award for this performance."
What he's even more afraid you're thinking: "Yes, (other guy's name here), yes!"
GOD FUCKING DAMN HE'S GOOD.
Postcoital Bliss:
What he hopes you're thinking: "Now I know what an earthquake feels like."
What he's afraid you're thinking: "Maybe I should let my lesbian friend Sue take me to that females-only dance club after all."
OHHHH, HE'S HOLDING ME. I HOPE HE'S UP TO ROUND 2.
OK, ladies, what are you thinking ?
RIGHT NOW? I'M THINKING I'M HORNY.
Are you still feeling gentle?
I guess wantsomefun is the only who took this seriously. He apparently wants to be left panting. One week from Sunday. I've got till next Friday's lunch to come up with ideas.
If this were true, there wouldn't be one southern gentleman taking viagara.
I'd apologize for interrupting he and Lady Lydia and leave.
Serving drinks while he's watching the game real was never discussed by us - however the maids outfit was. Come on guys, we have a week to come up with a game plan.
Oooo, look whose bed I fell into.
This subject came up at lunch, among the ladies, so I thought I would ask the men. What could your woman do for you on Valentine's Day, that would leave you absolutely panting?
Love my rabbit and my butterfly jiggler. Vibe/dildo/clit stimulator all in one.
I've never been with a shaved man, but I think if he's my guy and I want to be with him, it shouldn't matter.
Thank you for being gentle.
God, there are so many and for so many different reasons. I remember watching them on Ed Sullivan, too. I'll have to say two - "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" and "In My Life".
My friends send their kids to me, to teach them how to parallel park - but don't ask me to back down a long driveway. I just can't do it.
Holy crap I made a wrong turn.