According to a lot of experts (psychotherapists, etc...), Ban, as a man, you are having the typical male reaction - most men, if they find out that their woman is having or had an affair, they kick them to the curb; and Nikki, you are having the typical female reaction - trying to save the relationship if it is salvageable... I honestly don't know what I would do either...
Ispy - I feel for you - been there, done that, but my guy did NOT come back - so that is a definite plus on his side, I think. You need to be honest with him - saying you don't want to get hurt again - why has he changed his mind? Did he just get lonely? OR was he lonely for YOU? AND I would ask him the same question you posed here, "what happens when (IF) we get jobs in different cities?" Take you time, if he loves you and truly wants you - he will be patient and wait - there is no rush to answer him. I'm a romantic, though, I am hoping he just realized that he couldn't live without you and came back hoping you would take him back! Good luck - just keep these in mind (two of my favorite quotes): (some risks are worth taking - and I have found that risking my heart - yes, it makes me MORE vulnerable, but it also brings on greater rewards in the end!)
The policy of being too cautious is the greatest risk of all. ~Jawaharlal Nehru
The greatest risk is the risk of riskless living. ~Stephen Covey
I completely agree that dirty talk is best when it is spontaneous and natural - in the heat of the moment, I can't help saying "things" - things that I want to do and things that I want to have done to me and what I like.... I believe that good sex - great sex is physical, emotional AND mental - and talking dirty just gets things hotter!
I have only been given the opportunity, once, a long time ago to give a man a blow job until he came in my mouth and then there was no question, I was swallowing - it wasn't about the taste, it was about the idea that I had given him that much pleasure and pleasing him even more by taking all of him into me - I have read that spitting sometimes comes across to your partner as rejecting a part of him. Anyway, my husband (soon to be ex) has never let me get that far - and we don't talk about it (which I am open to talking about any of it with my partner). I just know that I get sooooo turned on giving a man a blow job - it is so erotic and to listen to his sounds of pleasure and to look up and watch the pleasure on his face as I change the speed or lick the tip or..... Okay, I have to stop, I get turned on just thinking about it! It has been a LONG time since I have even had the opportunity for any of it! I would like to have the chance to taste my partner's cum someday - to take him to that place that he totally loses control and for me to take it into my mouth and swallow - so erotic. And the best - when we kiss afterwards - so hot!
I am definitely a lady on the streets, but I am a freak in the sheets - and getting freakier... LOL! I have always been labeled the good girl, so the partners that I have had have been pleasantly surprised that I am NOT the "good girl" in bed - well, do you have to be IN BED? That's so vanilla!! I think sex should be fun and exciting and surprising and mind-blowing whenever possible!
