“My name is John Daxly. I’m a Southern gentleman at heart and I like to open doors for women. I’ve been raised to always, always pay for dinner. I’m in the Army and I love my country…” “Stop. It’s already a no.” “Hm?” “Oh, I’m sorry, I meant Hell no.” I laugh at his confused expression. “Why?” “First of all, your writing style is way too simple. What are you? Five years old?” “Hey… I thought—” “Oh, and you sound so fuckin...

On Rounds – The Last Night Can I hear a round of applause ladies and gentlemen? The choir is singing and I am floating! As of 8 a.m. tomorrow morning, I will officially no longer be employed by Residence Life. Graduation is next week. My internship is lined up and I cannot wait to start working my way up the publishing ladder. One day I want to have my own publishing and editing company. I was lucky to nail this opportuni...

And this is my life. Only a couple more weeks and I’ll neverhave to do rounds again! Alas, it is my job for now, so I’m going to do it. It’s same old same old. No banging co-eds. No extra tasks from my boss. This should go smoothly, if not boring. There is only one hitch for me to consider this time around: the laundry room door. Every week, we report that damn door to maintenance and it has yet to be fixed. The lock is f...

4:30 P.M. RHD: Resident Hall Director, a.k.a. my boss, the woman who controls whether I get paid or not. Her name is Lacey. I like the woman well enough, but she can be very lazy sometimes. “Can you go get me this paper work?” “Would you mind running up these notice forms?” “Could you be a dear and write this information report online since you were there too?” I rest my case. These are easy tasks that she could do just a...

College. The best time of our lives is here and now. I am an RA which stands for Resident Assistant. I am just supposed to guide students, keep them involved in school activities, and be there if I am needed. Also, I have one more responsibility, I have to do rounds. Basically, I walk around the building and report anything suspicious or even maintenance issues on my rounds sheet. This is tedious work and I absolutely can...