I ate two strings and when they came out of me, they were tied together. Don't believe me? I shit you KNOT! HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
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Fucking A I'm turned on by my own stories! Why? Because most of them are true! XD
I had a girlfriend once, and we met at Cedar Point in Ohio. She approached me in line for Maxair. we developed an immidiate friendship, and eventually, we kissed underneath a walk-through waterfall. She had black hair with a white stripe through it, her eyes were grey, and she was about my height. 5 foot 9. Eventually: I take her to my hotel room, and right before we have sex, she pulls out a freddy kruger mask out of her purse... I was genuinely creeped out. I don't like men for one thing: second, the last thing need is a nightmare about sex with freddy... she insisted upon it. Eventually, it got to the point where she's fucking me with a cell phone and calling it when it's inside me. she also put tobasco sauce on my tits and licked it off. to top it off, she was fucking me with a strap-on and she was playing music on a mandolin! This sex was crazy, alien, and yet: Hot! It got to the point where I start eating her out and she was making the weirdest moans and groans I have ever heard... it got so ominous and so loud, that a man in a neighboring hotel room knocked on the paper-thin walls and yelled: "Shut the fuck up over there! I'm trying to sleep!!!" SHe angrily gets out of bed and starting hooting and hollering like a monkey! I almost pissed myself I was laughing so hard. as for the rest of the sex: I'm not going into great detail, but it invaolves a pillow, redbull and a table tennis paddle...
I had a girl that liked this exact thing too. to avoid any confusion: my advice is that you hide in a closet, or a room somewhere so you don't have to damage anything.
Leave 'em and go shopping. XD
Let's do the fork in the garbage disposal!
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Yes. I had a beautiful teacher that I had the most obsessive crush of in highschool. To this day, I can picture myself being disciplined by her... ;)