Quote by thatfatchick
When asked what girls want in a guy, most would say that they want someone who is funny.
Is humor that important to you? Are you attracted more by girls who are funny and silly?

Quote by Jason2013
Your gf/wife is in a bed having sex with another girl. Either its at a party and youve caught her in a spare room. Or they met on a girls night out and you came home late yours3lf tonfind them in your bed together.

Would you consider this cheating, the same as if she was having sex with a guy? Or could you let it slide as a sexual fantasy of yours being fulfilled?

Quote by iCottonCandy
In your view what is a difference between a girl and a woman?

Quote by sexyashleyrose
do you like when girls wear no panties and bras when you start having fun with her

Quote by GeorgiaGirl21
Why do so many men on Lush have such a sparse profile pages? I get so many guys hitting me up for a chat with a profile that looks something like this when I click on it: no profile pic (or the dreaded silhouette or some dumb avatar), no pics or just cock pics, and hundreds of hot chickie Lush friends in their friends area. Then they whisper to me in the room and want to go private right after the hi. The chat rooms are filled with this type of guy. Now here is my real question: why do guy's get so offended when I point out the obvious to them, that their profile screams, "ALL I WANT IS CYBERSEX WITH ANY BABE WHO'LL GIVE IT TO ME!" Why don't they just say that right up front in their profile and be done with it? Why act like you want to chat when you have no interest in it? Just trying to get into the head of these guys and what the hell they are thinking. Why not just be straightforward about it?

Quote by Pegasus4
Innocent.


Ever had sex over/on a pool table?

Quote by mrd82
often, too long. and that's not a humblebrag--finishing is sometimes a problem for me. not sure why.

Quote by ManofAdventure


I agree and I don't mind a passionate debate either ;) But if someone isn't prepared to put in the hardwork on themselves (sounds a little kinky) then:
a) they can't really complain about their lack of success-successful people don't just happen, they make it happen. Some of those people have more of a head start but if you're not one of them, work harder. It's "your" life after all so you better show an interest
b) they can't expect others to be impressed

One point you addresses which I didn't pick up on is that picking up women on bars/clubs is hard. As you say, you are competing against a ton of others but in addition to that women go to bars and clubs for different reasons to guys. Most guys go to get laid.
Women go because:
A) they're looking to get laid-this will account for a small percentage. if this is the case, she then has to decide whether you're worth talking to I.e you got to appeal more than the other guys. She'll probably have formed an opinion before your 5 seconds in or before you've arrived, if she's seen you approach.
B) they like the attention-but aren't looking
C) they're out with their friends and want to dance-and aren't looking

Most women will have decided whether they want to get laid before they even go out and as you can see, the odds are often against you from the start. Plus 90% of the time, the only reason why guys talk to women in clubs is to veg laid-so they're already on red alert.So that's why I initially said, stop focusing on the end result.

Personally I think the OP might find it easier talking to women in book shops, coffee shops and just everyday places-women are far more likely to be open to talk outside of clubs.

Quote by SereneProdigy


We finally seem to slightly agree, haha. Not that I was entirely disagreeing with your previous posts, I simply felt the need to take things to a more realistic level. And I wasn't always replying to you either: sometimes I address things of general nature even if initially quoted a specific person in my response.

The thing is, working on yourself and improving your chances of dating women is a lot of hard work: there's no easy tip for that. And I'd actually say that working on your personality will require just as much effort as working on your appearance, and you'll also have similar limitations in the end. There's hope and a place for improvement with both of these traits, but you also have to be realistic in your expectations: you can't exactly expect your partners to exhibit qualities that you don't possess yourself to at least a slight degree, and personality can only compensate for your physical flaws in a somewhat limited extent. You have to offer as much as you receive, otherwise you'll have a pretty hard time convincing women to offer you any attention. If you have to 'convince' a woman to date you, you're doing it wrong already: you need to have some attractive traits yourself, there's no way around it.

And up to a point, depending on the amount of efforts you're willing to invest, you'll have to accept your personal limitations... which also implies accepting (and loving) partners that will have similar limitations.

Quote by SereneProdigy


I never said that a great personality doesn't factor in whatsoever concerning how women perceive men. I even witnessed it in my own life a few times: guys that weren't all that good-looking which for whatever reasons managed to attract women who were more beautiful than they were. But they were rare exceptions and not quite the rule of thumb, just like short hockey players like Theoren Fleury or Martin St-Louis managed to outclass taller players, and yet players of their heights (5'6"-5'8") aren't exactly common in the NHL.

And sorry to say, but your assumptions are in fact a lot more biased than mine. You're pretty much assuming that every average-looking guy will have a formidable personality that's going to stand out, while every handsome man is going to be some kind of superficial and retarded jerk. I can simply refer to the argument of my previous post here: what exactly prevents a handsome man from having a great personality himself too? And concerning your numerical example, what exactly prevents a handsome man from going from a 9 to a 12 if he has a great personality too?

Here's the initial level of attractiveness of both average-looking and handsome men, when only their appearance is considered:




Now let's see what happens when personality gets thrown in the mix, with a realistic impact of ±3 for both average-looking and handsome men:



You see what's happening here? Sure, a few average-looking men can compete against men that are much more handsome than they are in the 6-8 region, but overall, handsome men will still have the upper hand in the majority of cases. Not to mention that plenty of handsome men are going to be in the 'highly-attractive region' (9+), which is pretty much where those equally highly-attractive women will seek a partner, while very few average-looking guys are going to be up there.

And no, I'm not imagining a make-believe scenario where two men of different appearances will have the exact same personality; I'm assuming that personality will have the exact same impact on both average-looking and handsome men, and that generally speaking, you're still going to end up with handsome men being a lot more attractive. And that's without mentioning that handsome men will in fact be a lot more advantaged toward personality, according to their life experiences: just think about how they'll continually be validated by their peers growing up, and how much impact this will have on their overall levels of motivation, self-esteem and confidence.

And here's another thing: a 'great personality' isn't some kind of switch that can be turned on and off at will. In the great majority of cases, it will simply be the result of your genetic profile, education and life experiences. It really isn't all that different from being blessed with a great appearance in terms of 'luck'. So telling an average-looking guy to 'adopt' a great personality to compensate for his appearance is rather illusory to me. Sure, you can 'work' on your personality, just like you can 'work' on your appearance, but this is going to be a lot of hard work and not just some kind of insignificant decision that you randomly make on a fine sunny day. And in the case of seduction, women will be a lot more attracted to men who can behave effortlessly than to men who must insistently/persistently show how great their personality is. Handsome men will be quite a lot more advantaged in this regard: attractive women will perceive them as rightful candidates right from the start, whereas in a lot of cases, average-looking men trying to 'adopt' a great personality will just be perceived as hopeful prospects that must gather every little effort they can muster just to have a slight chance of being perceived as their equal.

And to add to this point, I find it rather funny when appearance is considered to be something very superficial, whereas personality is considered to be a deep and wholehearted trait. As I said, some people are 'blessed' with a great personality just like some others are 'blessed' with a great appearance. The person in question won't have any more merit than other people in either case: personality isn't some kind of conscious decision that you make and have absolute control over. And in the case of seduction where profound qualities won't be all that perceptible, both of these traits are going to have a very similar impact: entertainment value. The man that's interesting and fun is still going to be attractive in a very superficial way, just like the handsome man will be with his harmonious appearance and the dreamlike feelings he'll provoke: reading a fascinating book isn't any less superficial than admiring beautiful paintings in a museum.

Quote by SereneProdigy


Well, the thing is this: what exactly prevents a handsome man from being confident, fun and interesting himself too? And in the case of a gorgeous woman who gets approached by dozens of different men on a daily basis, why exactly would she choose an average-looking guy with an 'interesting personality' when she can easily pick up an handsome man whose personality is just as interesting? Get real people, attractive women won't become 'magically charmed' simply because you're a decent guy that can hold their attention in a casual conversation: they'll still have dozens of other males they can compare you to in their previous encounters. There's a strong competition in seduction.

Here's an analogy with the height of hockey players. Sure, height isn't the sole factor that will determine the talents of a hockey player, but it's still a determinant factor. You could get in a similar naive line of thinking and say: "Height isn't significant whatsoever! If you have good skills, a sharp mind and are good at reading the game, any team will sign you up!". But the reality is that plenty of players across the world have good skills, a sharp mind and are good at reading the game. What becomes the discriminating factor then? Height and physicality (the average height of NHL players is around 6'1"-6'2", just so you know). Hell, you could motivate an aspiring 5'9" player that has good skills and tell him that height really isn't all that important (just like some people are doing here concerning looks), but the reality is that hundreds of other men will be competing against him for the same position, and that players with an average height of 5'8"-5'10" are a very thin minority in hockey leagues.

And here's another thing: interestingness, pleasantness and humor are all very good qualities, but up to a point what will get you to have sex with women is (surprise)... sex-appeal. Because frankly, you can be interesting and fun all you want, if that doesn't work toward your overall level of sexiness, you're just going to end being good friends with attractive women. Sure, these women will want you around, but why exactly would they feel the need to sleep with you when your qualities are already being offered to them fully in any friendly conversation?

That will be another subject for another time, but what will really provoke the most sex-appeal in men is their status (confidence is simply an indication of self-perceived status, in my forthright opinion). And honestly, according to my own experiences your outward appearance will have a prime role concerning the status that others will grant you. Just think about how other males gather around the tall/strong/handsome male in any group of males, and how they grant him an 'alpha' status: even before he'll approach women, that man will have a powerful status going on about him.

Quote by She


lol, I think holder of this thread will start pulling his hair of his head after reading this. But yeah, poor you ;)

Quote by genelyn
I love kissing but you better have a clean mouth if you want to kiss my lips

Quote by She



Exactly.


I've turned down so many hot and attractive guys after few minutes of talking with them just because of their intentions and I have dated guys who weren't in my 'league' just because they were offering something I was interested in. Don't get me wrong, we all interact with others because we want something but if you want to get something you need to give as well. Of course this goes other way around as well.

Quote by dpw

Cruel, lol.

Quote by SereneProdigy
So, attractive women are shallow because they seek attractive men, and yet you only approach attractive women yourself? This is pretty much what your title and your post are telling us. If I may ask, how does that make you any less shallow than they are?

Dani gave you some nice advices, but I'll add my own perspective...

The way I see it, in love/dating/relationships a lot of it has to do with accepting and loving your own self. When you're in love with someone and it's reciprocated, an important part of the fulfillment is the pride of realizing who you can manage to attract: "Wow, I can attract a smart and gorgeous lady! I must be a great person myself!". This might sound very selfish, but just about everybody is like that: there's a great deal of self-directed love in relationships, in my very honest opinion.

Now if you keep seeking women that are more beautiful, intelligent, educated and entertaining than you are, it kinda hints to the fact that you're not really satisfied with your own person: how about dating a woman that's your equal? would you be satisfied with that?

Like attracts like, there's no way around it. Why would a gorgeous woman bother with an average looking guy when she can easily attract dozens of handsome males that are just as intelligent and entertaining as he is? Why would a successful guy bother with a girl that has absolutely no ambitions in life? There might be rare exceptions to this and sometimes the 'whole package' will be considered more than individual qualities, but generally speaking this is quite accurate of how things are.

So, here are your options:

1- You keep seeking partners that are out of your range and stay in a perpetual state of dissatisfaction

2- You accept the fact that you're not all that good-looking and date women that are in your range (and therefore finally accept your own baggage of qualities/flaws)

3- You work on yourself. You want to date attractive women? Be attractive yourself. You want to date interesting women? Be interesting yourself. And so on and so forth.

Quote by LovingHer17
Hello Lush guys,my name Alex,I'm a young man in his 20's.This is something I have been passive about for a while,in back of my mind I already know for sure the world is like this.But when it comes to wanting to talk to attractive women,if you don't have the look they wont give you the time of day.People in general really are going to look at how you look,before they would approach you,even more to have a convocation with you or wanna get to know you.

This is somewhat of a rant,I finally sick and fucking tired of putting the effort to talk to these women,that seem like they don't want to really talk back,like I'm the one doing the talking,and asking the questions and trying to get to know you,but I can tell they are not really interested,in what I have to say.But if the tables were turned and I was this guy that looked good physically,I know for sure they would be all eyes and ears,wanting to know me and all.

Like I said guys,this is just a rant,something happen today that push me to the,"I had enough point." A new transformation in my looks is coming soon,it sucks how something like this would wanna make a guy change his self,for a selfish reason,I guess that's life.

Any advice,is surely appreciated.Thank you.zyIvPVs62lhxvILX

Quote by GirlyWorld


LOL, no!

VERB (vets, vetting, vetted)

1. Make a careful and critical examination of something.

Quote by Meggsy
I have discussed giving head with a number of other girls as they were aware I did, and they had been asked etc, to provide it for their bf or had done so and were concerned.
I always told them it was a natural part of a sexual relationship. Taking the boyfriends semen into their mouth was their main concern. I assured them it was an acquired taste, but had no other detrimental effect. In fact to me it was something I enjoyed.
My advice was don't do it unless he is prepared to return the pleasure. My advice was more often accepted and employed and I was rewarded with expressions of satisfaction and some funny stories of the experience a few days later.

Quote by alison90


LOL I don't think you fully grasp what I was saying.

Quote by bonnierabbit


How rude.

Quote by seriouslyhorny
Surely there must be more ?!

Quote by alison90
Confidence every time! I like a man to be a man, not a wimp.
I'm not shy about making the first move if necessary but I like a man who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to go for it. Most of the time I will do what he wants without even thinking about it if he initiates things confidently.

Quote by bonnierabbit


Oh! That's quite good. Shame it took you so long to think of.