I think that I’d like mine and my wife’s sex drives to be more aligned. I’ve the higher sex drive and hers was lower and lowered further the past few years. I think if either of our libidos was closer to that of the there’s things would be a lot better. It’s the mismatch that is the problem.
I like anal play and prostate play. My wife is barely interested in sex at all and we have sex maybe once every 6 weeks or so, so I’ll masturbate. It started off as wondering what prostate stimulation felt like, so a couple of long thin toys were bought and they didn’t really do much. Then I bought a small butt plug. Must be about an inch diameter and about 5 inches long with three small bulbs along its length.
Pumping this in and out is nice, I was getting somewhere so I upgraded to about 1.75” diameter and 8” long with loads of small ribs down the length. This hit the spot perfectly and is my go to toy for my alone time.
I’ve recently bought a doc Jonson b10 bombshell and can that all in. That feels amazingly full as I slowly pump that in and out.
I think I manage to get about 1 day a fortnight when I can spend a few of hours playing with my collection.
Would you like to expand on what happened during the couples massages?
Been together about 18 years and married 6. We’re at the stage where my wife;
Doesn’t want sex at night when has to go to work the following day
Doesn’t want sex in morning if having to go to work, as to much of a rush to get out
Doesn’t want sex if kids are in the house
Prefers mornings to evenings
As such there is a single Sunday every 6 or 7 weeks when all the conditions are met, as long as there are no rearranged shift to work that happens 1 weekend per month, where when she eventually wakes up, she jump into bed naked, says something like ‘let’s do it’ then proceed to lay there for 20 minutes making as little effort as possible. Missionary is all that is on the cards these days as she likes to relax and enjoy things rather than having to do any of the work.
Oral of any form is now off the cards since we got married. If I bring sex up in a conversation it’s always not the right time to talk about it, or I’m being critical or she is uncomfortable discussing it, so as such it’s just never spoken about, also gets annoyed if and she finds out I’ve been masterbating as she says it makes her feel bad “doing that tells me your not satisfied with me or your thinking of others”.
I’m left with no sex, and trying to sneak in a sneaky wank once a week.
I was aware that marriage councillors say that less than 10 times a year is a sexless marriage, I think this year, in the last 10 months we’ve had sex maybe 5 times, the next day the her schedules will align I think is middle of February, which will be a gap of 14 weeks.
The kids are away for a long weekend, my wife is at work for the day. I have 10 hours of guaranteed alone time and the house to myself.
What do you ladies do when you find yourself free for the day?
Probably try something thicker, with ridges, smooth texture will put pressure on his prostate, but thicker with a texture, the long strokes rub along the prostate. He may say he needs to pee, he won’t, it’s just a weird sensation he’s not experienced and pressure to pee is closest he could describe it as, keep going, key like when he’s doing you, when you find something working, don’t change depth or tempo and let things happen.
Could take the strap on off and just pump it manually in and out, if he orgasms just keep going the next will follow quickly as prostate orgasms are different from testicular orgasms, and finally take charge. He’s probably after some assertiveness and an opportunity to give up a bit of control. Don’t go full femdom, be take the lead.
I’ve had quite a few women peg me, only one has brought me to orgasm through, actually several prostate orgasms but she does offer her services as a pro-strap on. Normally it just a little dildo and getting all the angles and positions right takes a while, in which the lady is now tired. So many times I’ve heard them say how hard it dips all the thrusting to keep a rhythm properly. The lady with the pro-step on service also is a Dom, and try as I may, I can never get my head into the whole submissive mind space and it’s more off putting.
I have since found a lady who understands this, she isn’t a Dom but will happily lead, and rather than pegging, we just manually use a large dildo and hit the hell out of my prostate. 10 prostate orgasms in an hour then a final traditional after oral cuming on boobs is normally how we finish the sessions, where I can barely walk.
I use a dildo called “Big ass bumper” available in the UK from Pulse and Cocktails. I’ve seen it sold elsewhere, but a google image search “big ass bumper pulse and cocktails” brings up the item. It an 8” long 2” diaper very ribbed black dildo.
I had tried other smaller items and they felt good, but never orgasmic. Prostate massages I occasionally got a jolt a pleasure when she happened to connect with prostate, but that rare and maybe just a couple of strokes in 20 minutes or so. I tried this one, which is big, more out of curiosity if it would even fit.
The stretch as it goes in, smaller sleeker toys once in past the outer sphincter just slide in, but the size of This one, meant I can feel the outer splinter, then a couple of inches deeper, the inner sprinter has to open, and that stretching and the pop feeling as it gives way it delightful and the first couple of full insertions really feel amazing as all the dildo ridges push through and rub. After a couple minutes I can start pumping it in and out gently, I’m not sure what part is hitting the prostate, is it the round head hitting it or the shaft rubbing underneath it? But very quickly I’ll have the urgent feeling of needing to pee.
The first few times I stopped, took it out and tried to pee and nothing came out, so I tried to just continue next time, bit of pumping, the OMG I’m needing to pee, just kept going then sphincter and abdomen muscles all tightened up and the muscles all used when really pushing a pee all kicked in and out shot very clear liquid. It was very much like an orgasm feeling but a bit different. Nothing felt in my balls, the normal contracting and release, the liquid didn’t have the normal thicker consistency of cum, the orgasm felt it came from the base of my penis deep inside me, the liquid was almost clear, maybe slightly white in colour, but it didn’t feel like I was peeing.
After a few seconds thinking “wow that was different, I did it”, normally I would have a wave of relaxation and tiredness come on, this time I didn’t. I slowly worked the dildo a few more strokes and could feel the pressure build up, went with it and had a second orgasm within a minute of the first, this time even more liquid and still no sperm in it.
Now after a few months or playing like this, about once a fortnight, I can spend two or three hours just playing around and orgasming over and over, as long as I keep my fluid levels up, I can keep going. I’ll have a few breaks of 10 minutes or so, keeping the dildo inserted but not pumping it to relax and give myself a break as I find that many orgasms truly exhausting. I also still finish with a normal wank at the end, a normal orgasm from my balls seems like normal makes the “I’m done” signals come in and I’ll then stop.
I have multiple times, probably monthly. I’m not into being submissive but have found a few service providers who I can talk to and explain my liking. Two over the years seemed to listen and knew what they were doing. One lady had a selection of attachments and we finally found one that hit the spot and I was able to have 3 or 4 prostate orgasms.
I since discovered a lady who will just work a large girthy dildo manually and just keep going and going with prostate stimulation, enough to make me light headed, making me cum and cum. I can barely walk after an hour.
I do. Wife to like it, or at least seemed to, but over the past few years since the kids she’s become more reserved. She’ll push my head away if I start heading down there, or cover herself with her hands and just say no. Only time in last 12 months she’s aloud me would be after a day at a spa, freshly showered and a bottle of bubbly done. She also used to give BJs but it’s been about 4 years s8nce the last one.
oh god yes. used to do anal play a lot in previous relationships, long ago before it even had a name.
errr probably. I can't actually imagine a situation where it would likely arise. Wife isn't a sharing / adventures kind of girl
Wife - Yes but hope she would join in
Stranger - depends on context
Guy - again depends on context
wouldn't say no outright to anything.
Yeap to both. Pre-marriage happened more often like most things.
If you were to come home and discoverer your partner sprawled out on bed, porn on the TV and playing with himself with a butt plug, what would your reaction be?
I have, but it never really felt secure. Been tied and blindfolded to a bed, but the knots were not good and after about 5 minutes I could have slipped out easily. Same with a blindfold, quick wiggle of the head and rub it on the pillow or mattress and I could have it off, or it would slip,and I would be able to see.
I end up lying there holding onto the bed frame and close sing my eyes, simulating restraint but not actually. The idea of being at someone else's whim seems great but the practicalitys in my experience have not yet lived up to it.
We've tried the handcuffs from a sex shop, they all have safety release catches on them, or off such poor quality they break within seconds.
I would if she asked also. Previously I've licked my cum of boobs and snowballed, but that was before marriage. The idea is great before my climax, discussed and agreed to do it, but in nano seconds it goes from hot as hell to gross. All the previous cum play times it's just been quick and the lady just did it without letting me / asking a second time.
For those in long term relationships, how do you know your partner wants sex, do you wait for them to make the first move or do you take the initiative? What do you or they do that gets the message across clearly?
