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BicycleBum
Over 90 days ago
Straight Male, 54
United States

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A golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun
flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him.

Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him.

'Arrgh! What happened?' the Leprechaun asked.
'I'm afraid I hit you with my golf ball,' the golfer says.

'Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?'


'Thank God, you're all right!' the golfer answers in relief. 'I don't want anything, I'm just glad you're OK, and I apologize.'

And the golfer walks off.

'What a nice guy,' the Leprechaun says to himself. I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things I would want... a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life.'

A year goes by and the golfer is back. On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.

'Twas me that made ye hit the ball here,' the little guy says. 'I just want to ask ye, how's yer golf game?'

'My game is fantastic!' the golfer answers. I'm an internationally famous golfer now.' He adds, 'By the way, it's good to see you're all right.'
'Oh, I'm fine now, thank ye. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how's yer money situation?'

'Why, it's just wonderful!' the golfer states. 'When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out $100 bills I didn't even know were there!'

'I did that fer ye also.' And tell me, how's yer sex life?'

The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, 'It's OK.'

C'mon, c'mon now,' urged the Leprechaun, 'I'm wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?'

Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers, 'Once, sometimes twice a week.'

'What??' responds the Leprechaun in shock. 'That's all? Only once or twice a week?'

'Well,' says the golfer, 'I figure that's not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish.'
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Quote by chefkathleen
Quote by BicycleBum

That is hilarious!


Apparently the burglar thought so too.
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Quote by Magical_felix
1. I become her whole life within a week.



Yeah, this one.
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Quote by etairay
much ado bout nothing ..hmm cant thing of anything but likes the title lmao


Guy makes a big deal bragging about how mighty his "member" is...until the tape measures come out.
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Quote by slutpuppy
"frankenstein" (mary shelley) becomes the story of a gay mans quest to make the perfect man of his dreams


They kind of did that one. The Rocky Horror Picture Show. LOL :P
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Your score is: 10

Do you even have a nervous system? It doesn’t matter how loud the bang or creak is as you’re trying to nod off – you don’t even flinch. Even if you’ve just watched the scariest movie of all time, you know it’s just Hollywood at its best and that it’s over as soon as you turn it off. In other words, you’re as cool as a black cat when it comes to scary stuff – it takes a lot more than a haunted house or a dark, spooky night to make you jump. Although it would be really boring watching a horror movie with you, you’re definitely someone we’d want by our side when things go bump in the night!
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Quote by Lone_Wolf

Glock Model 22 in 40 cal


I'm this one apparently, though I would prefer a Remington 870.
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