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Horrible Advice for Talentless Authors
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Active Ink Slinger
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Here's an idea: Instead of third person or first person, why don't you write second person. Write it like you're talking TO the reader. That's SO intimate!
kink explorer and porn story author deluxe
Active Ink Slinger
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Video game porn. We need more video game porn, because - hey, it's video games, and porn! What can possibly go wrong? Pikachuuuuuu!!!!
kink explorer and porn story author deluxe
Active Ink Slinger
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Make it a multi-part story, of course. And end every chapter on a cliffhanger. Right in the middle of sex. That'll keep them on the edge of their seats!
kink explorer and porn story author deluxe
Active Ink Slinger
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OF COURSE you can write a story from the opposite gender's point of view! How different can it be???
kink explorer and porn story author deluxe
Active Ink Slinger
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All aliens have tentacles, right?
kink explorer and porn story author deluxe
Lurker
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Beat advice for a talentless writer is to find inspiration for what they actually want to write, and to just research at least 10 great works in that genre, and style. Then mimic to the best ability the word choices, situation, character descriptions, and vernacular of the pieces, until you get a hang of how to do a serviceable job of writing your own version of the stories. Talent is much less important than hard work. Hard work is what truly pays off in the end, and is more than half of what makes a good writer write great work.
Lurker
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Either that, or just quit, lol 
Coco Pop
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Quote by Kathrin
OF COURSE you can write a story from the opposite gender's point of view! How different can it be???
I've seen great examples of this tbh.
Bug
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I'm sure the intent of this thread was humor.
That being said, writing is a skill as much as it is a talent. Some people have a natural feel for the written word and others have to work harder to develop it. Anything you state could be excellent advice for developing writers if framed correctly, as a writing exercise (except the tentacle one, I suppose).
I just dislike the term 'talentless'. It's discouraging and needlessly so.
Cheers. Carry on.
That being said, writing is a skill as much as it is a talent. Some people have a natural feel for the written word and others have to work harder to develop it. Anything you state could be excellent advice for developing writers if framed correctly, as a writing exercise (except the tentacle one, I suppose).
I just dislike the term 'talentless'. It's discouraging and needlessly so.
Cheers. Carry on.
Gingerbread Lover
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Quote by Burquette
I just dislike the term 'talentless'. It's discouraging and needlessly so.
Unless you think like I do, in which case it takes the pressure off myself, and subsequently, anything positive that comes out of it is a lovely bonus.
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.
*** 
********************************CLICK THE BANNERS TO BUY THESE WILLY-STIFFENING BOOKS!********************************
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Lurker
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Quote by Burquette
I'm sure the intent of this thread was humor.
That being said, writing is a skill as much as it is a talent. Some people have a natural feel for the written word and others have to work harder to develop it. Anything you state could be excellent advice for developing writers if framed correctly, as a writing exercise (except the tentacle one, I suppose).
I just dislike the term 'talentless'. It's discouraging and needlessly so.
Cheers. Carry on.
As a talentless writer who has written a sci-fi sex story with tentacles, I take offense to this whole thread!
Damn it. Now I want to re-publish that stupid story. It did have a wonderful G-spin twist at the end. Hmmm...
I've heard, resistance if futile. I think that was said by Victor Borge or someone like that.
Lurker
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I have been told, that I have no talent. However, I considered the source. My advice, is to keep writing, and hone the art.
Active Ink Slinger
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Just keep writing. Practise makes perfect also another advice I can say is read the story back to yourself out loud to see how it flows.
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Wouldn't it be fair to say that outside of grammar, story structure, and that kind of thing, there really is no right or wrong? You can write multipart stories and even some without sex in them. You can dissect the characters, or leave the mystery in them. Put 90% sex in the story or set the scene a bit better. Make the same kind of story that has 4000 words, rather than 10000. Make the sex scenes longer than they need to be, or have them be short and sweet.
In the end, the reader decides what they like and don't like. It could even just purely be determined by the author. Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure that goes on. Same exact story, but it gets read or not read solely based on who wrote it. Or just a better or worse score. I like to think that my writing is a lot better than it was six years ago when some people trashed my stuff as if I was trying to pass off dog shit like four-star restaurant food.
With help from mods, I've sharpened my skills, but I still write my stuff how I want to. Isn't that the most important thing? Maybe the given 'Advice' on this thread would be useful if you were submitting it to a real publisher, but here on Lush, shouldn't you be allowed to write the way you want to? Even if this as meant to be humorous, I'm not seeing it. That's not to say that others could see it as being somewhat funny. Although, I know at least here on Lush, people put their hearts and souls into their work.
Maybe that alone comes from talent, as I've heard from some mods that some work just doesn't look like it was edited at all. Should be common sense, but maybe it is talent. It doesn't just go to the writing, but the way you display your work. As I've seen on other sites, the work isn't perfect here, but is definitely a big step up. So, after you learn how to write and make it work, you just need to create your own craft. Just because people don't read your stuff, it doesn't mean your work is horrible.
I know results can speak for themselves, but stick to what you want to write. If the results don't make you happy, I guess leave or reinvent your craft. The best advice you can take is your own, do you what you want to do rather than what others tell you.
In the end, the reader decides what they like and don't like. It could even just purely be determined by the author. Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure that goes on. Same exact story, but it gets read or not read solely based on who wrote it. Or just a better or worse score. I like to think that my writing is a lot better than it was six years ago when some people trashed my stuff as if I was trying to pass off dog shit like four-star restaurant food.
With help from mods, I've sharpened my skills, but I still write my stuff how I want to. Isn't that the most important thing? Maybe the given 'Advice' on this thread would be useful if you were submitting it to a real publisher, but here on Lush, shouldn't you be allowed to write the way you want to? Even if this as meant to be humorous, I'm not seeing it. That's not to say that others could see it as being somewhat funny. Although, I know at least here on Lush, people put their hearts and souls into their work.
Maybe that alone comes from talent, as I've heard from some mods that some work just doesn't look like it was edited at all. Should be common sense, but maybe it is talent. It doesn't just go to the writing, but the way you display your work. As I've seen on other sites, the work isn't perfect here, but is definitely a big step up. So, after you learn how to write and make it work, you just need to create your own craft. Just because people don't read your stuff, it doesn't mean your work is horrible.
I know results can speak for themselves, but stick to what you want to write. If the results don't make you happy, I guess leave or reinvent your craft. The best advice you can take is your own, do you what you want to do rather than what others tell you.
The Bee's Knees
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Quote by Kathrin
Here's an idea: Instead of third person or first person, why don't you write second person. Write it like you're talking TO the reader. That's SO intimate!
actually, when executed well, second person can be very sexy. it allows you to insert yourself in the story instead of living vicariously through the characters.
Say. Her. Name.
House plant
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Quote by Sirene_Jaune
Just keep writing. Practise makes perfect also another advice I can say is read the story back to yourself out loud to see how it flows.
Keep writing yes, but also understand that not everything that you write needs or deserves to be published. There's a huge variance in the quality of writing on this site. It's like the difference between a symphony orchestra playing Beethoven's 9th, and a 7th grade music class bleating their way through something supposedly resembling 'Ode to Joy.' Encourage the kids, sure, but I know which I'm going to buy tickets to see, and which I'll be making up excuses to avoid sitting through.
Don't believe everything that you read.
God Empress of Lush
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Quote by Kathrin
OF COURSE you can write a story from the opposite gender's point of view! How different can it be???
I've recently been experimenting a little with doing this. e.g. in this gay male story:
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/gay-male/alfresco-orgy-ii-what-the-guys-did.aspx
A male Editor gave it an RR, so I'm hoping I wasn't too far off the mark in imagining how guys might think.
22 February 2024 - How about a quick plug for one of my filthiest recent stories? It's all in the title - Naked Pool Party Swingers | Lush Stories Please read, comment and maybe give it a ❤️ - or even a⭐ if you really enjoy it! Thank you! Annie xxx
Mana wahine
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Quote by Kathrin
OF COURSE you can write a story from the opposite gender's point of view! How different can it be???
My latest story was written from the POV of the opposite gender and received an RR. Maybe you're the only one who can't do it?
Advanced Wordsmith
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I'm pretty sure the original poster intended this as a funny thread, right in the line of The Worst Muse. (If you don't know her, check her twitter account, it's hilarious: https://twitter.com/WorstMuse )
"It's still not too late to add a vampire!"
"It's still not too late to add a vampire!"
The Right Rev of Lush
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Oh, hecky-darn, I almost forgot to mention the single most important thing no writer, whether burden with talent or not, should ever leave off an erotic story.
The writer must, just absolutely MUST, give a full and very precise description of the main character/female sex object's body to include: height, age, bra measurement with the all-impoartant cup size. While waist and butt dimensions are optional, many high-lit writers insist they should appear.
Of course, none of that applies to male characters except, possibly, for height. However, giving the length, width, and circumference of a guy's schlong is mandatory. That said, many authoritarian authors feel that quantifying the amount of semen he ejaculates is not truly erotic.
I most sincerely hope this advice on giving readers a mental image of your character's body proves helpful, honest. Just do me a big favor and don't ask me for help with the editing, especially if I'm off my meds.. Okay?
The writer must, just absolutely MUST, give a full and very precise description of the main character/female sex object's body to include: height, age, bra measurement with the all-impoartant cup size. While waist and butt dimensions are optional, many high-lit writers insist they should appear.
Of course, none of that applies to male characters except, possibly, for height. However, giving the length, width, and circumference of a guy's schlong is mandatory. That said, many authoritarian authors feel that quantifying the amount of semen he ejaculates is not truly erotic.
I most sincerely hope this advice on giving readers a mental image of your character's body proves helpful, honest. Just do me a big favor and don't ask me for help with the editing, especially if I'm off my meds.. Okay?
RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
Empress of the Moon
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Quote by RumpleForeskin
Of course, none of that applies to male characters except, possibly, for height. However, giving the length, width, and circumference of a guy's schlong is mandatory. That said, many authoritarian authors feel that quantifying the amount of semen he ejaculates is not truly erotic.
As an authoritarian moderator, I feel that semen amounts should be given in milliliters rather than ounces, but that is not really Lush policy. 755 ml instead of 25.5296 oz, but this policy does not apply to any measurements other than semen. However, the number of spurts should always be written out if it is under one hundred, eighty, not 80. The length of the schlong, unless it is over one hundred inches, should be written out as well, fourteen inches, instead of 14 inches, although 14" is okay. In fact 14" is magnificent. I often dream of that number. I never expect to see it in real life, but I enjoy it in fiction. I'm sure it would make me uncomfortable in real life, but in fiction, it's okay.
Here is an example: "He pulled his magnificent fourteen inch cock from me with a loud plop and spurted 642 ml of his glorious semen into my hair. I was so grateful that I took his giant whanger, it's entire length and humongous forty inches of circumference, into my mouth."
[url]http://[/url]
Empress of the Moon
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Quote by Ping
I've heard, resistance if futile. I think that was said by Victor Borge or someone like that.
I think it was you who said that. Remember, I was hanging head down, my hands tied behind my back.
[url]http://[/url]
Lurker
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Quote by Ruthie
I think it was you who said that. Remember, I was hanging head down, my hands tied behind my back.
Oh My Gosh!!! That was YOU!
The Right Rev of Lush
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Ruthie, your clarification was laugh out loud funny. But now you and the Ping-unit should play nice. ;)
RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
Lurker
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I think there should be an award for "Most Talentless" writer of the month. I volunteer to be first guinea pig.
God Empress of Lush
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Quote by Adagio
I think there should be an award for "Most Talentless" writer of the month. I volunteer to be first guinea pig.
I bet the Mods have a secret award for just this sort of thing. Strictly behind closed doors, of course!
22 February 2024 - How about a quick plug for one of my filthiest recent stories? It's all in the title - Naked Pool Party Swingers | Lush Stories Please read, comment and maybe give it a ❤️ - or even a⭐ if you really enjoy it! Thank you! Annie xxx
Lurker
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Quote by naughtyannie
I bet the Mods have a secret award for just this sort of thing. Strictly behind closed doors, of course!
Nothing surprises me, but it could be used as a bit of humor. I have written some stinkers, for sure.
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Quote by RumpleForeskin
bra measurement with the all-impoartant cup size
Actually, I included this in a new story, unusually for me, but there is context for it.
Lurker
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Quote by Adagio
I think there should be an award for "Most Talentless" writer of the month. I volunteer to be first guinea pig.
You could never qualify as "talentless".
