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Really bad Jokes that your parents used to tell (Dad Jokes)- do your worst

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Quote by Darkvision29
Two men walked into a bar - you'd think one of them would have ducked.

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said, "Why the long face?"


You should first read this Looky Here!!

and then this Free stuff

then say 'Hi'
Active Ink Slinger
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How long is a Chinaman............in those far less politically correct days
Unfuckwithable
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm.
"One for me and one for the road please"
You should first read this Looky Here!!

and then this Free stuff

then say 'Hi'
Cheeky Rascal
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How do I make impatient people angry?


I’ll tell you tomorrow
Active Ink Slinger
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How did the Dairy Queen get pregnant? The Burger King forgot to wrap his Whopper
Active Ink Slinger
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What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face. (only told this after i was about 20)
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
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Quote by Grace
Reading some titles on my bookshelves:

Rusty Bedsprings by I P Nightly
Brown Spots on the Wall by Who Flung Dung


Tragedy in a Cesspool, by Eileen Toofar
Yellow Sheets, by I P Freely
Under the Bleachers, by Seymour Butts
Sexy Seductive Siren
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Q - What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?
A - Full

Dad could be quite crude when drinking around his USAF buddies.
Meagan
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Q. Did you hear the one about the bell ringer who got his dick tied up in the bell rope?
A. The vicar tolled him off.
Sexy Seductive Siren
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Q - What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?
A - Full

Dad could be quite crude when drinking around his USAF buddies.
Meagan
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What do you call a gay dinosaur?
Dinasoreass
Unfuckwithable
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When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting
to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always
had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she
thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall
grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."
You should first read this Looky Here!!

and then this Free stuff

then say 'Hi'
Щíccαη Щoods Щhore
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Quote by apptobebad
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting
to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always
had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she
thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall
grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the
grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."


giggles...This ist very funny.
. . .♀♌TT☩✯⁂⊕⧋▽⧊ )◯( ψΨ∅ǯǮǯ∞✾❈❁✤. . .
Щíccαη Щoods Щhore
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Two girls go fishing in the early morning.

One girl fishing on the right side of the boat ist catching them like crazy.
The girl fishing on the left side ist not catching anything.

The girl on the left asks, "Why are you catching so many fish und I'm not?".
The girl on the right says, "Before I go fishing that morning I reach over und grab my man's cock,
...if it ist laying on the left side then I fish on the left side of the boat, if the right side then I fish on right side of the boat".

The girl on the left then asks, "What if it ist standing straight up?".

The girl on the right says, "Then I don't go fishing".
. . .♀♌TT☩✯⁂⊕⧋▽⧊ )◯( ψΨ∅ǯǮǯ∞✾❈❁✤. . .
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I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went and then it dawned on me.
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Quote by RonB1
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went and then it dawned on me.


doh! lol
You should first read this Looky Here!!

and then this Free stuff

then say 'Hi'
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In one episode of The Vicar of Dibley, Geraldine Granger, the Vicar, was contemplating a relationship with one of her handsome parishioners.

All she could do was think about it Long and Hard, All Night.
Awesome Lady
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Repeated often by dad:
child: That's not fair!
Dad: That's what the bus driver said when offered a wooden nickle.
Unfuckwithable
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Quote by elizabethblack
Repeated often by dad:
child: That's not fair!
Dad: That's what the bus driver said when offered a wooden nickle.



he he..



Almost heaven..
West Virginia
Blue ridge mountains...and you know the rest
You should first read this Looky Here!!

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To all the Male participants, here at Lush.

Have you noticed, that as we get older, we get stronger.

When you're in the 20-30 age bracket and you get an erection,
you can't bend it.

But by the time you reach the 50-60 age bracket, you can bend your erection in half.

Cheeky Rascal
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What do a redneck divorce and a burning meth lab have in common?



Someone’s losing a trailer
Unfuckwithable
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When I was a girl, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive... It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
You should first read this Looky Here!!

and then this Free stuff

then say 'Hi'