Pick up the rooster, put him in the coop. Be firm. It will only get worse. Except I don't know how that works if there is already a rooster. Not too well would be my guess. You may have to build a second coop. Sorry, but it is kinda funny too.
Give the rooster his own bedroom, and highchair at the dinner table. Then get a reality TV contract.
Maybe give the rooster to a petting zoo?
SERIOUSLY, you claim to be asking members of a sex/erotica website for answers about what to do with a rooster living in your dining room? SO... lets put this into language that this site typically uses!
1) Accept that YOU MUST BE A SUBMISSIVE!
2) Accept that YOU ARE LETTING A ROOSTER, (otherwise known as a male chicken) TO CONTROL AND RULE YOUR LIFE AND HOME!
3) Accept THAT YOU ARE ALLOWING AN AVIAN, CANINE BESTIALITY RELATIONSHIP? You may be poly-amorous, but shouldn't you protect your dog, from this rooster! When this dominating male chicken inevitably "flies the coop", for another dog, or flock (chicken language for chicken harem), leaving your pet "poor Lily" devastated and heartbroken? Don't you try to protect your girlfriends from the "wrong men"?
SOLUTION!; YOU MUST BECOME A DOMINATRIX! This male needs TOUGH LOVE! Do not abuse the bird, but you MUST control him! I suggest he be banished from the house entirely! NO NOT TO THE DOG HOUSE WITH A STUDDED COLLAR! A small coop with one hen perhaps separated at first but within sight. BE TOUGH! STOP TRYING TO TRAIN HIM TO DO TRICKS AS A HOUSE PET! HE DOES NOT DESERVE THIS TREAT! TRAIN HIM FIRST TO "ACCEPT" his real home! Feed him well, he'll eventually accept his lot in life! DO NOT GIVE IN! He'll eventually become used to his mate also. Once you remove the physical barrier between them, and he satisfies his sexual frustration with the hen, he'll probably want a threesome or more! He is male after all! SPECIAL NOTE: YOU MUST ACT DECISIVELY IF THIS COCK TURNS INTO A DICKHEAD! IF THE ROOSTER ABUSES HIS MATE ONCE THE SEPARATION IS REMOVED, .....YOU MUST REMEMBER,......WHAT DO YOU DO TO A DOMESTIC ABUSER??? THROW HIM THE HELL OUT! OR YOU CAN DO WHAT MANY THINK SHOULD BE DONE TO AN ABUSER... CUT OFF HIS BALLS THEN ROAST HIM! GO ALL THE WAY, WITH BONDAGE TURKEY NAILS AND BONDAGE BUTCHERS TWINE! THEN GRIND IT ALL UP, ADD SOME OTHER ITEMS THAT TRANSFORM HIM INTO a great DOG FOOD recipe! Feed his ass to his FAITHFUL EX, 'Poor Lily! HE DOES NOT DESERVE to have YOU SWALLOWING HIM!
After all that, you should write up the story for the next LUSH STORIES Dominatrix story competition!
This is all just a suggestion. Being male, I would never assume it is my place to tell you what you should do!
(BTW, I love this site!)
So. Loud has, as of last evening, decided that he should also yell/crow at dusk until someone comes and either scratches his pinfeathers to his satisfaction or cuddles him.
And I did a bunch of reading last night--no crashes--on the topic of chicken intelligence. Turns out no research was done, for a long time, and then someone ran out of mice or macaques or whatever and started to study chickens. And the bastards can learn, can recognize individuals, and--as with Loud's crow sounding more and more like "Good Morning!" every single day--apparently have a limited capacity for speech.
His new trick this morning is unzipping the top of his enclosure/brooder (it's like a little pop up tent, called the Insta-Brooder and sold by Incubator Warehouse), letting himself out, and wandering my fucking dining room. Also, ty for the laugh, Jimbo2.
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Wait! I've got it. The family moves to the chicken coop and either:
a) Loud follows the family an accepts the coop as its new home at which time the family may stealthily relocate back to the house
b) Loud and the chickens get the house, the family gets the chicken coop. Don't forget the whitewash.
I know of one else who could train that rooster to grow beyond itself that you Hera Teleia. What's the old saying, if you can't beat them, join them? Ha Ha
It sounds fun actually. I have a friend who currently has a goat in their house ?
No, no. Here's the thing. Bielefelder Kennhuhn, a breed developed in Gerrmany in the 1970's, isn't common--anywhere--but is not considered a heritage or rare breed because of the relatively recent development of the breed, and because there are relatively large flocks of them, from many different lines, in some places.
Barnevelder, which is what Ruth is, truly is a threatened breed. They're Dutch and much like the Svart Hona, which I also had (and sold, thank G-d; they're assholes), they're developed from a landrace predecessor. I'm writing a fucking dissertation on chickens here.
Crested Cream Legbars, a rare breed/"breed of concern", are a breed of chicken developed in the UK a couple six hundred years or so ago. Like the Dorking and the Sussex (and a hundred or more other breeds in the developed world), the number of flocks plummeted following WWII, when factory farming became a thing and harvesting eggs no longer involved actual chickens--just pick your box of twelve or eighteen or twenty four identical, white eggs, and call it good.
So I can't put Loud out with the Bielefelder. Those hens? They're not even fully grown (the reason for their lack of popularity despite being prolific egg producers and cold hardy, plus being "dual purpose", meaning they're also meaty), and won't be for about another four months, give or take. Even now though, the two "chicklets", the ones that hatched about two weeks after Ruth, are easily twice the weight of Loud.
Ruth was (like Loud) the sole survivor of an incubator failure. She's funny as fuck--among the different feeders is a hopper type, and she shoulders aside the much larger Bielefelder hens and literally climbs into the hopper. She's named after Ruth Bader Ginsburg (may blessings be upon her name), because as a chick, she was very....opinionated. Angry? Chicks don't like to be alone. You could hear her yelling from outside of the actual house. And she hatched the same day Justice Ginsburg (may blessings be upon her name) passed.
So. I've tried multiple times and in multiple ways to put Loud out with the Bielefelder hens and Ruth. Every time, he's literally been run into hiding. I had no idea that hens could be so aggressive. Ruth especially, no idea why, but the hens have legit run an actual raccoon up a tree (Lily woke me up, trying to get outside to get said raccoon). Loud has no chance--left outside alone (with Lily, because we have both raptors and four-legged predators, which is something I love about living here), he ends up hiding in ivy, bushes, the hose reels, anything that will allow him to be very, very still until a human comes and calls his name.
I've ordered a second Aleko coop and run and have six Crested Cream Legbar eggs on day six/seven of incubation. Since shipped eggs tend to have a live hatch rate of between 75% (very good) and 0%, crap if I know what I'll end up with. I did try to purchase day old straight run CCL chicks from Murray McMurray, a hatchery I trust, but so far, no luck.
Okay kids, dissertation over, go visit The Livestock Conservancy site and try not to end up with a cow!
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Update: Loud is still in my fucking dining room. Now he has a very distinct "Good Morning", "Loud's a good bird" plus something that sounds like "Leave it!" (a command used with both Lily and the two Anatolian Shepherd Dog fosters) and of course, the mumbled "fuckitfuckitfuckit FUCK IT!"
Fun times. Plus the fosters, being Anatolians and therefore unlike Great Pyrenees not inclined to protect small livestock, saw Loud and thought "food". Fanfuckingtastic.
So. One of them went for Loud Saturday evening...not a good choice. Lily came flying (literally, she jumped a chair rather than go around it in her haste) for the foster the second she heard Loud squawk, and my Saturday evening went from "okay-ish" to "absolute fucking chaos" in approximately 0.6 seconds. Did I mention that the other foster joined in, because why not? He did.
Picture 300-odd pounds of bared teeth and absolute fury and determination plus furniture being knocked over and did I mention the teeth? Anyway. Picture that and you've about got it.
Loud is fine. Lily is fine. One of the fosters required multiple sutures in his neck (this is the one who went for Loud, and when an Anatolian Shepherd Dog is defending whatever, they do not mess around), the other foster suffered only some abrasions from being thrown against the fireplace hearth a couple of times, by Lily.
I managed to secure both fosters and Loud within about 3 minutes, give or take a couple minutes. I was cleaning up the blood and kept coming up with more and more, thinking, I just cleaned that up. There was more! A lot more, as it turned out.
In my focus on making sure Loud, then Lily were okay, and then assessing the fosters, I failed to notice that my 5.11 ripstop tactical/practical pants had a couple of puncture points on the right side. And that my right clog was entirely filled with and spilling over with blood. Which is why as much as I cleaned up, there was more on the floor. I'd been bitten, twice, during the maelstrom. At least one of the two bites went clear through to the fibula, fracturing said fibula.
Anyway. Loud is fine, Lily is fine, the fosters will never come near a chicken again since apparently they all have their own protection detail. Me, I have a couple four dozen sutures, am in a "walking" cast until the wounds heal and the fibula can be surgically pinned.
Like I said, fun times.
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JFC is right. You have a huge heart Jennifer but fractured tibia and stitches? I don't have any where near your patience or tolerance. Hope you are feeling better.
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