I haven't read this book, been hearing about it though. i'll do my best to answer your questions.
How much does the dominant person really truly enjoys the inflicting pain in others?
-It really depends on the person, I personally enjoy dealing pain to a certain point, but only the pain she wants to experience as well as a bit of pushing. I don't like breaking her by hurting her I know i've seen in alot of stories here.
Is it a normal thing to have a BDSM relationship without feelings involve?
-Again i think it depends on the person. For me personally its a relationship, i care very much for my sub and my first priory is to make sure she is protected and safe from harm. I can't image having a relationship of the D/s dynamic without feelings, but to each his own.
Do you think a lot of people enter this lifestyle because of a painfull background and this is the only way to cope with reality?
-I wondered this same question for a long time when i started my journey into BDSM. but a lot of the people I've met seem to have no more baggage than the normal person. I have also met my fair share of people who have some intense baggage but you'll find people like that in every social group.
What about the rules?
-Again here it depends on the person. Personally, the time's we've talked about her coming to stay with me, we have discussed getting her a cage to sleep in and about different rules. Some of them people might find funny, but they exist so that my girl can get used to following the rules that matter.
Do you live by this rules all the time? i mean you never have a break from them? you never can just talk to the other person like you do in a normal relationship?
- use of the word normal doesn't bother my any. While it might offend some people, most people understand that the dynamic of the relationship is not a traditional one.
The rules i set for my girl are not ones she is allowed to turn on and off. now i don't limit how she can talk to me or when she can speak her mind. it's a relationship and with that communication is key.
If you are a dominant and you see this girl or guy you want to take as a sub and that person is really not into the lifestyle do you try a relationship or no?
- depends on the person, i'm not restricted in needing to be a dom in order to be happy for the right person i'd have no problem having a traditional relationship
Hope i was able to help, always enjoy answering questions lol.
Thanks for the answers!!
yes when i said feelings i was refering to Love, thats one of the things that make me more in ow, i cant grasp the idea of having a relationship without love in volve, but as they say to each their own.
the book is really good you should read them!!
I'm kind of thinking about reading it. However after seeing the author in an interview who was blushing and giggling. It kind of turned me off. If she is that embarrassed by the content she has written about then do I want to read it?
Actually, it's a fanfiction of Twilight... The author even admits that she doesn't even think it's very good
"He tongued at my chocolate starfish before thrusting three fingers between my quivering butt cheeks and wiggling his fingers around like he was searching for something he dropped inside of my ass.”
—
50 Shades of Gray
(supposedly)
I've just finished reading the 3rd book in the series and I have to say they wouldnt usually be my kind of books but they're actually really good. They're like an erotic story combined with a love story and comedy. Worth a read in my opinion.
The questions you asked are the same as what I was thinking so thank you for posting and thank you to those that responded as well.
I was also wondering like Christian did in the book when he fell in love with Ana, he started to turn his back and change his point of view of the whole BDSM. Is that possible? Would someone who seemes as deep into it as he was/is be able to just give it up because a potential submissive didn't want to do something?
I finished the first book... didn't quite learn my lesson.... half way through the second.... I listened to my "inner goddess".. she was screaming at me....."why the fuck are you reading this crap?"
I have to tell you, I've read better BDSM stories on Lush
I have a different take on the whole thing.
One I've play for 7 years is was a very mild type play no real pain involved, but I did get off on bondage, it used to be the only way I could have an orgasm. We were a married couple and only played on weekends when I wasn't working and our young kids where down for their afternoon nap. I known many others who have been in BdSm life style and each are so different. It takes two people talking about their likes and dislikes and discovering which best fits them. We also switched a few times. It's fun and it's very safe.
Two I read Fifty Shade when it was written as a twilight fan fiction the author and I became friends. Even as a fan fiction she couldn't believe how popular the story was. She doesn't have any first hand knowledge of the lifestyle, but did talk to a few Dom's to get a little help on understand the mind set. Many authors do this they find a mentor to help them make their story more real. When she was asked to turn this into a non-fanfic she jumped at the chance because it was a dream to be a published author. Other Twilight fan fictions have also been changed to be published, in the case of Fifty Shade only the names changed. She never thought she had a top book, never dreamed they would want to make this into a movie, yes a movie deal has been signed, no actors have been picked yet to play the parts.
I enjoyed all three of the books. I don't really know anything about BDSM relationships but found it didn't matter....
Will I watch the film when it comes out? Probably not far too many good books have been ruined when they go to the big screen 9 times out of 10 I end up disappointed
If you want my opinion on that series simply read my signature line. The fact is that this book is entertainment and that is all. There is absolutely nothing about the book that portrays the real lifestyle in a way that is truthful. The fact is that the characters in the book don't even start with the base of what makes a BDSM couple work.
If you have read 50 Shades of Gray and think that you are ready to be a dom or a sub. Then you have a lot to learn.
Follow my slave's blog slave skye's real life blog if we can get 100 followers she is going to start posting pictures!!! I know there are at least 100 of you that want to see that click the link enter your email and follow. We hit 100 then she has said she will post a picture of herself. The only thing i liked about the books was in the beginning they discussed contracts. I don't feel they are discussed enough and the fact they did discuss them and mention it even explain it was great..other then that the books and sub annoyed the hell out of me.
No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy -unless you let him.
- Napoleon Hill
Excuse me if I sound hipsterish by saying this, but I enjoy the books but then I realized they have SOOO much attention. I feel like if a book in this style is good then y'know privately advertise it, but the cash cow its become has made me lose respect for the author. Bottom line I enjoy the books but god help me I will not be apart of it if it becomes another Twi-tard fad. Good books, too much hype.
I think the reason I dislike the series is because the writing is so cliched, the characters is so far fetched. The style of writing looks like it was written by a virgin teenager not a married middle aged woman. Ah I could go on and on.
Though for me it was that Christian is down right an abuser. He gave Anastasia welts because she sunbathed topless in France as punishment. He called her all the names under the sun because she was pregnant and he hit into her while she was carrying his child.
He pretty much stalked her and groomed her to be his living sex toy. Did anyone else find it creepy that he got her a personal trainer who had to report to him everything that Anastasia did.
The bondage, bdsm is just a cover up for his abusive behaviour. Surely no BDSM relationship is like what is described in 50 shades.
Christian openly said he is an abuser. Yet dimwitted Anastasia stays with him because he is oh so gorgeous, and he doesn't mean to be abusive. And she can change him to be a good man.
Also it isn't realistic that every abused child turns into an abuser. Saw an epsiode on Dr Phil of two famous Comic actors who suffered childhood abuse from the hands of their own mothers. They are not abusers to their partners.
Many women and men can not change the behaviour of their abusive partners no matter how much they try. At the end of the day the partner will choose to be abusive.
Sometimes when I see people that crow how much this book is great in the sex/romance department and feeling naughty. And how they want a Christian of their own. I wonder did these people have a lobotomy or have some sort of brian damage from taking drugs.
i actually got these books from a co worker that was in love with them. i recently just got into a relationship that is well....controlling. I guess you say if you were a fan of the book i am being groomed and corrupted XD. he read parts of the books and said....really? that is shit! so as far as the books go they were better then twilight but not worth all the hype.
two as far as the relationship in the book to real life...not sure im just learning ^^
my newest :)
I am reading this book now and I would LOVE to find a man like Christian Grey!
♥ Listen, touch, and look around in the air and on the ground. If you watch all nature's things, you might just see a fairy's wings. ♥
