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Guys-would you be interested in a woman who had been abstinent for a long stretch?

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Lurker
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Would she be someone you'd be interested in or is that too much pressure (or perhaps not enough)?

Would she be too hard to date?
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If we otherwise clicked, I could see it. I can see issues arising depending on why she was abstinent (e.g. if it was a bad relationship that made her give up sex due to trust issues) but that doesn't mean we couldn't give it a go if there was mutual attraction and interest, just that we'd have to deal with those issues in some way as they came up. Basically, I'd try to take it at her pace and see how things evolved.
Lurker
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thanks for your input, Scott.
Active Ink Slinger
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There's a number of reasons for women to spend long lengths of time chaste but I can't think of any that I wouldn't fully respect and understand. It takes a brave gal to try and put herself out there again so it would be a disservice to not appreciate that. A lady that's getting back into the swing of things could present to her partner a great opportunity for some excellent experiences in the bedroom not to mention the intense intimacy that will come when she finally does the deed. Sure it will be a series of challenges as no one jumps right back in to sex without nervousness and unfamiliarity so making certain that she is comfortable is one of the highest priorities. I think that any guy who is worth his salt wouldn't mind too much assuming that he's already attracted to her physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Granted, this isn't to say that the relationship wouldn't potentially dissolve later on due to incompatibility but that shouldn't stop either of them from giving it a shot and neither should her abstinence.

I can’t think of a good tagline so this will have to do. Suggest a better one for me?

Rookie Scribe
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Provided she was a tease to my mind. yes
Advanced Wordsmith
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I'll give an honest answer here. I would lose interest, because whatever the reasons are for her not having sex would likely lead to incompatibility issues. If she has been able to go without sex as an important part of her life, there's no reason to assume she wouldn't return to those ways again; a woman who embraces her sexuality is much more likely to be able to keep up with me.
Active Ink Slinger
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Depends on the woman, depends on the reason.
Forum Kan-Guru
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If I was interested in her, then I'd still be interested in her after finding out she'd been abstinent for a long stretch. After my marriage broke down, I was abstinent for quite a while. At first, that was because I was hoping to resurrect the marriage. Then, after it became obvious that that wasn't going to happen, I made a conscious decision not to seek sex while I was getting my head together. I still think that was one of my better decisions. I didn't lose interest in sex, but without the complications of chasing it, I had some space to focus on some other things for the first time in my adult life.

I'm in my 40s - any woman my age that I meet is going to have at least some baggage. If that includes a period of abstinence, then so be it. As long as she wasn't spending the time with her 14 cats, allowing a hatred of men to fester, it should be fine (although then it's not the abstinence that would be the problem...) If she's ready for a relationship, then she's ready for a relationship...
Lurker
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Quote by PhilU
If I was interested in her, then I'd still be interested in her after finding out she'd been abstinent for a long stretch. After my marriage broke down, I was abstinent for quite a while. At first, that was because I was hoping to resurrect the marriage. Then, after it became obvious that that wasn't going to happen, I made a conscious decision not to seek sex while I was getting my head together. I still think that was one of my better decisions. I didn't lose interest in sex, but without the complications of chasing it, I had some space to focus on some other things for the first time in my adult life.

I'm in my 40s - any woman my age that I meet is going to have at least some baggage. If that includes a period of abstinence, then so be it. As long as she wasn't spending the time with her 14 cats, allowing a hatred of men to fester, it should be fine (although then it's not the abstinence that would be the problem...) If she's ready for a relationship, then she's ready for a relationship...


14 cats and a hatred of men? Lol.

Thanks for the answers, guys!
Convict
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Quote by PhilU
If I was interested in her, then I'd still be interested in her after finding out she'd been abstinent for a long stretch. After my marriage broke down, I was abstinent for quite a while. At first, that was because I was hoping to resurrect the marriage. Then, after it became obvious that that wasn't going to happen, I made a conscious decision not to seek sex while I was getting my head together. I still think that was one of my better decisions. I didn't lose interest in sex, but without the complications of chasing it, I had some space to focus on some other things for the first time in my adult life.

I'm in my 40s - any woman my age that I meet is going to have at least some baggage. If that includes a period of abstinence, then so be it. As long as she wasn't spending the time with her 14 cats, allowing a hatred of men to fester, it should be fine (although then it's not the abstinence that would be the problem...) If she's ready for a relationship, then she's ready for a relationship...


Is 13 cats a deal breaker?
Active Ink Slinger
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some years ago I had a relationship with 62 year old woman I met online. She had a dysfunctional marriage with an alcoholic husband (and ex husband) whol now lived elsewhere. She said she believed she was physically frigid.

When we finally met up, something clicked and the dam burst. That first meeting was explosive, I eventually started visiting her on weekends and at the end of the weekend we'd count the number of times, typically 15-20. I was getting a bit older at that time and would never have believed I could function like that, but she had some magic.
Her Royal Spriteness
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Quote by PhilU
If I was interested in her, then I'd still be interested in her after finding out she'd been abstinent for a long stretch. After my marriage broke down, I was abstinent for quite a while. At first, that was because I was hoping to resurrect the marriage. Then, after it became obvious that that wasn't going to happen, I made a conscious decision not to seek sex while I was getting my head together. I still think that was one of my better decisions. I didn't lose interest in sex, but without the complications of chasing it, I had some space to focus on some other things for the first time in my adult life.

I'm in my 40s - any woman my age that I meet is going to have at least some baggage. If that includes a period of abstinence, then so be it. As long as she wasn't spending the time with her 14 cats, allowing a hatred of men to fester, it should be fine (although then it's not the abstinence that would be the problem...) If she's ready for a relationship, then she's ready for a relationship...


i have 2 cats and men annoy me - how do you feel about that? oh, plus, i'm a lesbian and married, so... damn. the more i think about it, the more i realize it's just not gonna work between us, Phil.

To LPs question, coming from my perspective - what's past is past, it's what's going on in the present that would count (and yes, i am well aware i'm not a guy!). if the person was ready to start living a sexual life again, that's all that should matter. being a bit rusty is no issue. being a bit hesitant, not a problem as long as we could work though that together. NOT being ready to start having sex again, however, wouldn't work for me.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Troublemaker
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In of itself I wouldn't be concerned, either we click or we don't. In my experience the physical act of sex usually works itself out. Not sure what Margot means by a "long stretch" but I have met a lot of women who have not had sex in a while. There are lots of reasons for it though it seems the most common one is some jerk they dated. (sorry guys but that's what I hear) If anything it made the sex even better.

Cobwebs would be a deal breaker.
Advanced Wordsmith
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Quote by latecomer91364
Depends on the woman, depends on the reason.


This.
Active Ink Slinger
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Hubbie ask me to pass this on. He understands that after 7 years her Cherry has grown back. So he says hell yes. He would love to have the opportunity to end her dry spell.

I will say, he never walks away from a challenge.

Brandie for Hubbie
Active Ink Slinger
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Ok, to start with I prefer some connection with my partners and believe that her decision to refrain from sex wouldn't, in the beginning, be a concern. You didn't say whether it was by choice or not. Could be medical and that is no longer an issue. Could be emotional and she is now in a place where she can move on. You also didn't say whether she was now willing to change her decision. I do not believe the length of time she has been celibate would matter because, if the time was right for her to begin again then I am sure together, we could ease her back into it. If you are saying that she has not changed her mind then I believe it would have to depend on the connection we could establish. If the ultimate question is can you see yourself in a relationship without sex then I would just say, being with someone that makes you feel special and not having sex is still 10 times better than being alone at night and not having sex.
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Forum Kan-Guru
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Quote by trinket


Is 13 cats a deal breaker?


Well, I wouldn't want to limit my options too much...

Quote by sprite

i have 2 cats and men annoy me - how do you feel about that? oh, plus, i'm a lesbian and married, so... damn. the more i think about it, the more i realize it's just not gonna work between us, Phil.


2 cats is reasonable, some men annoy me and we both like women. We have sooo much in common! Oh, but you might be right...maybe it won't work between us
The Bee's Knees
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Quote by sprite
if the person was ready to start living a sexual life again, that's all that should matter. being a bit rusty is no issue. being a bit hesitant, not a problem as long as we could work though that together.


i thought this was absolutely lovely! i have the same feelings. i'd feel honored that someone trusted and cared for me enough to want to rediscover that part of themselves with me. the thought of letting everything unfold and (hopefully) creating a stronger bond really appeals to me. brava sprite!

Say. Her. Name.


Lurker
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I am a patient lover when necessary, so definitely a YES.
Forum Kan-Guru
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Quote by trinket


Like a bit of hairy pussy, do you?


Well, hairless cats are also okay and do reduce the chance of furballs...
Active Ink Slinger
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Not sure why that would be an issue... if the shoe fits, who cares if she had sex 10 days or 10 years ago?
Active Ink Slinger
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There could be so many reasons. No, I am not a guy.

Could be for medical reasons, an abusive partner, or a partner who could no longer perform.

But, if she had the interest and the willingness to learn she would almost be a virgin again.

The man I know best would love the challenge to take her to a place she had never visited before.

Lurker
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Quote by 1nympholes
There could be so many reasons. No, I am not a guy.

Could be for medical reasons, an abusive partner, or a partner who could no longer perform.

But, if she had the interest and the willingness to learn she would almost be a virgin again.

The man I know best would love the challenge to take her to a place she had never visited before.



That sounds like a very interesting man.
Active Ink Slinger
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It would partially depend on her reasons but more importantly it would depend on the chemistry between us and whether she had the interest.
Active Ink Slinger
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Had this experience twice & both times it was intimate, fun, statisfying, interesting to share their sexual reawakening
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by MostPreciousLittle


That sounds like a very interesting man.


I promise you he is and after all those other men he is still at the top of my list.
Active Ink Slinger
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Yes, of course, if I was attracted to her. Why ever not be?
Active Ink Slinger
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yes cause her pussy will be nice a tight and she would have lots of orgasms while I am in her pumping her with my cum in her pussy