OK, so I've had a confusing last year and a half of my life and it has come up with some serious issues i need help with. It's about relationships so if you don't want to get into that i would back out now. it will get super serious.
To start it all off i need to go back a year and a half. So i met this girl a year and a half ago, lets name her Abbi because it starts with A.
So me and Abbi immediately hit it off and become best friends. We grew really close and it was somewhat like we could start something physically, and become some sort of relationship. but that didn't happen. Another girl was in the picture, lets call her Becky.
Now me and Becky also started getting really close really quick but it was obvious it was going to be a physical relationship and not just a friend thing. Well me and Becky became physical as me and Abbi became best friends. Me and Becky became official and i immediately pushed all thoughts of Abbi out as far as something more than friends, and literally became as best of friends as you can get.
Now about a year passed and she met a girl and decided she wanted to date her so i helped her through coming out to everyone else. it was a good time, me and Becky were golden and Abbi met Candy (3rd girl in all this) and they were perfect. Now because i was so close to Abbi i became equally as close with Candy.
At the end of the year or so time frame me and Becky broke up. And when i finally moved on Becky and Candy and I became closer than ever. So close that they began to call me their boyfriend and it became a three way relationship essentially. now don't get me wrong its nice but it sucks because i am in love with Abbi.
There have been signs that she likes me more than just friends but i cant tell completely. Now i don't think i could ever say anything or do anything while Abbi and Candy are dating but its always been rough for them and I've been the one to keep them together. I've had chances to end their relationship but I wont ever do it and will always help both of them stay together.
So basically what do i do. I think there could be feelings between us but i also think her side is somewhat mitigated because she is in her relationship. could that be? am i just screwed? is this as wierd of a situation as i think it is?
Since you are close to both of them it makes it somewhat complicated, but if, as you say, you have helped them both to remain together, then i would back off. Let nature take its course. it may cost you a friendship with Candy, but if its Abbi you want, then it can't be helped. Don't take an active part in the relationships destruction. That would be mean! And you don't come across as mean and selfish.
But first, you need to find out if Abbi feels the same way you do. If she doesn't want to take your friendship to the next level, then why screw up what she's got? Then both of you are alone, and that would really suck!
All the details in one paragraph, I got lost and couldn't follow who was supposedly going out with who.
Sorry, it reads like a fantasy made up story.
Sounds like a lot of drama & while you think she might be worth it, honestly if she wanted to be with you she probably would. Or you'd at least know. Here's the worst part, in most male-female friendships one person has feelings for the other and usually its not reciprocated, that's why they don't work. Good luck hope everything works out.
Would Becky and Candy be looking for a new third wheel!
I don't think there's much you can do. Stop being the saviour of their relationship (be a little selfish once in a while) but don't actively sabotage it. Be a friend to them both and hope that things work out for you. If they don't, then you move on and try to love again.
In the meantime, maybe give yourself some distance from the girls. Start dating again, hang out with other friends sometimes. Putting yourself constantly in that situation is only torturing yourself.
Best of luck to all three of you (and Becky as well, I guess). And for the sake of other Lushies, learn to use paragraphs.
I have always believed that most problems in relationships happen because people are not honest and open with each other. You need to speak with all three of the girls (either together or individually) and tell them how you feel. Of course there is no guarantee that it will turn out in your favour but you (and they) will know where you stand. I've had to do this in a slightly less complicated situation and the outcome was that we ended up going our separate ways. But I knew that, if we had not been open and honest with each other, the realtionship, such as it was, would not have been what either of us were looking for.
Good luck.
K
I'm not pushing and won't ever, unless they decide its over. ill always help them be together and work out their problems. also i should say there have been moments with her since my break up a while ago. we have kissed, semi made out. have danced a lot, and were seriously close so i sleep over at her place all the time, just me and her. Sorry if my story was long and really hard to read.
Ride it for awhile dude but it will not last.
Thanks for the help everyone. i said screw it and talked to them. Now im their man fuck buddy and its all good, ill see where this goes and deal with it in the future i guess
If you have been keeping them together then there is something seriously wrong in their relationship and you need to stop enabling them. Even now that you're more involved you shouldn't be the one keeping them together. There is a big difference between being supportive and enabling a toxic relationship. Just make sure you're being supportive and not enabling, especially now because if it goes bad you don't want to be blamed.
What you ended up deciding was the best option. But snapping on someone for giving their opinion on this site isn't very "grown up" either. Just ignore people you don't agree with. Cussing or shouting at them through text is not a good response. I'm not perfect but this is a fantasy site. You can't expect everyone to say good things about you or your situation. Lord knows I've had many do the same to me.
I'm a str8 forward, spicy and ruthless kuntry gal, think you can handle me?
My head hurts after trying to make sense of that.
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