Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login

have you ever tried fucking yourself with a cucumber ?

last reply
128 replies
20.0k views
0 watchers
0 likes
Guest
Lurker
No! Now, if you want to talk eggplants...


(I thought the above was obvious it was a joke. Based on the messages I received, I guess not! Other than a bit of figging, I'm not a fan of sticking food in my cootchie or other places.)
Callista
Active Ink Slinger
Never a cucumber. OMG, did someone mention eggplant? I have used the handle of my hairbrush when I was at boarding school, a carrot and a banana which broke off and my partner had to eat it out.
Guest
Lurker
No I haven't, but a friend of mine did. She was sharing a flat at the time and wasn't best pleased with her flatmates - she 'pleasured' herself with said cucumber and then put it back in the fridge..
Not very nice, huh?

(I do have an embarrassing story about canned peaches though...)
crazydiamond
Clever Gem
Cucumbers! No Way!

I am partial to the occasional potato though.




diva
Rookie Scribe
No way have you seen the price of cucumbers these days ?
Guest
Lurker
Quote by crazydiamond
Cucumbers! No Way!

I am partial to the occasional potato though.




[img][/img]



THATS SURELY THE BEST POTATO EVER !! biggrin
Guest
Lurker
this one could be interesting.....if you're into a wee bit of pain

or perhaps one with built in tickly bits?

OMG the mother of all cucumbers?
VanGogh
Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado
no
and no thank you
yuck
Guest
Lurker
Can't say I have. Recently was given the suggestion of using the handle of a brush and for some reason just can't bring myself to get kinky with fruits, vegetables, household objects or my hairbrush! Hell call me old fashioned I like my battery operated boyfriend!!
WellMadeMale
Constant Gardener
Quote by Mazza
No I haven't, but a friend of mine did. She was sharing a flat at the time and wasn't best pleased with her flatmates - she 'pleasured' herself with said cucumber and then put it back in the fridge..
Not very nice, huh?


A friend you say, eh?
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
AnnaGrace
Active Ink Slinger
Never have but I might try now! ;D
TheSexiiEbonii ;)
Guest
Lurker
Quote by WellMadeMale


A friend you say, eh?



Now, WMM, I am fairly certain that you know me well enough by now to know that if it had been me, which it wasnt, I would have no problem admitting it... Lol x
Guest
Lurker
*Comment removed by admin*


Come on, y'all. You know the rules. No underage talk.
Nikki703
Active Ink Slinger
I actually have when I was first learning how to masturbate. Didnt have any toys yet. But it wasnt a real big cucumber!!
LadyX
Artistic Tart
So it was more like a gherkin?
Guest
Lurker
OMG....I am so glad I'm not a vegitarian....is that what ends up happening?
DLizze
Active Ink Slinger
There is a great British condom ad about this. Now I have to go look for it on YouTube. LOL
"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
Catnip
Internet Sensation
I love vegetables. They're the greatest.
Specially cause you don't have to leave bed to get a snack.

Cucumbers are not on the top list. I try to avoid cucumbers as much as possible since I once had a bad experience with one.

Zucchini and smaller squash though are superb (although not as tasty as a cucumber..)
angelaslater
Active Ink Slinger
I'm afraid to say I have lol. It was kind of an object thing I was going through. It felt bloody big. Hairbrush is always a fave as well as an electric toothbrush.
Guest
Lurker
Quote by TheDevilsWeakness






No, I have not tried it, and I don't think I will! I seen an episode of '1,000 ways to die'
and this girl was pleasuring herself with a carrot and you guessed it, she died. I'm
staying away from veggies and fruits going into my Kitty.
Nikki703
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by LadyX
So it was more like a gherkin?


HAHA!! It was actually about the size of an average cock, not an average Lush cock, about 6". LOL!!
Janey79
Advanced Wordsmith
I did the whole food thing with a bf...cucumber, banana, ice cream, yoghurt. I guess it felt kinky at the time!
Sirene_Jaune
Active Ink Slinger
LMAO Coles gee sneaky aren't they.

Well you reminded me of this skit of "Kate Moss" "Stella McCartney" and "Sadie".

Katherine Parkinson from the IT Crowd plays Stella.

They are ment to be in a sex ed class and trying to put on a condom on their cucumbers.

lafayettemister
Active Ink Slinger
Just curious. When any of you fucked yourself with a cucumber, did it turn into a pickle when you were done?



When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates