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have you ever tried fucking yourself with a cucumber ?
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No! Now, if you want to talk eggplants... 
(I thought the above was obvious it was a joke. Based on the messages I received, I guess not!
Other than a bit of figging, I'm not a fan of sticking food in my cootchie or other places.)
(I thought the above was obvious it was a joke. Based on the messages I received, I guess not!
Other than a bit of figging, I'm not a fan of sticking food in my cootchie or other places.)
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Rofpmsl, no 
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Never a cucumber. OMG, did someone mention eggplant? I have used the handle of my hairbrush when I was at boarding school, a carrot and a banana which broke off and my partner had to eat it out.
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No I haven't, but a friend of mine did. She was sharing a flat at the time and wasn't best pleased with her flatmates - she 'pleasured' herself with said cucumber and then put it back in the fridge..
Not very nice, huh?
(I do have an embarrassing story about canned peaches though...)
Not very nice, huh?
(I do have an embarrassing story about canned peaches though...)
Rookie Scribe
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No way have you seen the price of cucumbers these days ?
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Quote by crazydiamond
Cucumbers! No Way!
I am partial to the occasional potato though.
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THATS SURELY THE BEST POTATO EVER !!
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this one could be interesting.....if you're into a wee bit of pain
or perhaps one with built in tickly bits?
OMG the mother of all cucumbers?
or perhaps one with built in tickly bits?
OMG the mother of all cucumbers?
Active Ink Slinger
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LOL, nope
Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado
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no
and no thank you
yuck
and no thank you
yuck
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Can't say I have. Recently was given the suggestion of using the handle of a brush and for some reason just can't bring myself to get kinky with fruits, vegetables, household objects or my hairbrush! Hell call me old fashioned I like my battery operated boyfriend!!
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I thought about it once but I didn't think the cucumber would respect me in the morning.
Constant Gardener
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Quote by Mazza
No I haven't, but a friend of mine did. She was sharing a flat at the time and wasn't best pleased with her flatmates - she 'pleasured' herself with said cucumber and then put it back in the fridge..
Not very nice, huh?
A friend you say, eh?
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
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Quote by WellMadeMale
A friend you say, eh?
Now, WMM, I am fairly certain that you know me well enough by now to know that if it had been me, which it wasnt, I would have no problem admitting it... Lol x
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*Comment removed by admin*
Come on, y'all. You know the rules. No underage talk.
Come on, y'all. You know the rules. No underage talk.
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I actually have when I was first learning how to masturbate. Didnt have any toys yet. But it wasnt a real big cucumber!!
Artistic Tart
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So it was more like a gherkin?
Lurker
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OMG....I am so glad I'm not a vegitarian....is that what ends up happening?
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There is a great British condom ad about this. Now I have to go look for it on YouTube. LOL
"There's only three tempos: slow, medium and fast. When you get between in the cracks, ain't nuthin' happenin'." Ben Webster
Internet Sensation
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I love vegetables. They're the greatest.
Specially cause you don't have to leave bed to get a snack.
Cucumbers are not on the top list. I try to avoid cucumbers as much as possible since I once had a bad experience with one.
Zucchini and smaller squash though are superb (although not as tasty as a cucumber..)
Specially cause you don't have to leave bed to get a snack.
Cucumbers are not on the top list. I try to avoid cucumbers as much as possible since I once had a bad experience with one.
Zucchini and smaller squash though are superb (although not as tasty as a cucumber..)
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I'm afraid to say I have lol. It was kind of an object thing I was going through. It felt bloody big. Hairbrush is always a fave as well as an electric toothbrush.
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Quote by TheDevilsWeakness
No, I have not tried it, and I don't think I will! I seen an episode of '1,000 ways to die'
and this girl was pleasuring herself with a carrot and you guessed it, she died. I'm
staying away from veggies and fruits going into my Kitty.
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Quote by LadyX
So it was more like a gherkin?
HAHA!! It was actually about the size of an average cock, not an average Lush cock, about 6". LOL!!
Advanced Wordsmith
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I did the whole food thing with a bf...cucumber, banana, ice cream, yoghurt. I guess it felt kinky at the time!
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LMAO Coles gee sneaky aren't they.
Well you reminded me of this skit of "Kate Moss" "Stella McCartney" and "Sadie".
Katherine Parkinson from the IT Crowd plays Stella.
They are ment to be in a sex ed class and trying to put on a condom on their cucumbers.
Well you reminded me of this skit of "Kate Moss" "Stella McCartney" and "Sadie".
Katherine Parkinson from the IT Crowd plays Stella.
They are ment to be in a sex ed class and trying to put on a condom on their cucumbers.
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Just curious. When any of you fucked yourself with a cucumber, did it turn into a pickle when you were done?
When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates