I have been a member of this site for about two weeks and the one thing that has stood out for me is the number of requests to chat I get. I will usually chat with anyone who asks, but it usuallly goes:
Me: Hi how are you.
Them: great but I'd be a lot better with your legs wrapped around me lol
Me thinking to myself: (I'd be a lot better off with my husband's fingers wrapped around your throat before he snaps your neck!!! because some guy just sent me a message asking if I'd like to suck his cock AS I'M TYPING THIS!!!)
I don't report people to moderators when this happens, or block them from contacting me. I'm also not really as angry as I may sound about it. Several people have sent me apology messages when I tell them I'm not into that. I just try to politely let them know that I'm not offended, I'm just not interested in that. My personal opinion is that I enjoy,and am aroused, by people being sexually aroused by my stories. I do not enjoy people being aroused by me. While I am flattered that so many people find me attractive, I feel that any one-on-one sexual roleplay with anyone other than my husband is a form of cheating. Since I'm new here I am interested in other women's opinion on this. Am I out of line being uncomfortable with such activity on a site like this?
There are all kinds of people on this site, here for as many different reasons. I suggest you put a note in your bio that says you aren't interested in cyber if thats the case and tell anyone who can't read no thank you
Tammy...John and Janet have pretty well covered my thoughts also. I might add that you will also find that there are some men here that are NOT into cyber sex, etc. but just enjoy a convers. with another individual. I wish you luck in your quest to find such friends...They ARE here!!
Rick
Being brand new this hasn't happened to me yet. I haven't even had a private chat as yet much less anyone talk dirty to me. I'm not really sure how I would react I supposing it might actually be kind of flattering that some wanted to talk to me that way. Still I just don't know how I will feel when and if it ever happens.
Tara
You can also change your status to "away" so that the chat boxes will not open from strangers. I discovered that quickly when I was new. If you do this you can still open one to chat with someone who interests you. If you wish to be here entirely under the radar, you can go into your account details - settings - and change your online status to "invisible".
Don't let the idiots get you down. They can be avoided.
Thanks everyone for the advice. When I signed up for the site Everything was explained about, blocking, and using the away features etc.
I hope people don't think I'm angry at them or offended. I don't block others or make myself invisible because I really don't mind chatting. Some people I've chatted with have taken it in that direction I've politely explained I don't do that and some will just go away, others have kept on chatting with me normally. The vulgar ones I just close the window and don't answer.
I also appreciate everyone's views on cybersex itself. I don't think it's a bad thing, or that even married people shouldn't do it. I just don't do it. That doesn't mean I won't chat with people, I'll just politely make you aware I'm not into that
As a older guy who uses cybersex, I can say that without it, I might be out and about looking for no-strings sex. I'm attached in a long term relationship but the phases you go both go through can sometimes mean no sex for long periods. I love my partner and respect her choice not to have sex regularly. In a small town, having some cybersex takes away the huge complication of finding a fuck buddy. Cybersex or a real encounter?.........I'll take real every time but not at the risk of getting into something complicated outside my relationship.
I've made a very conscious effort to conduct myself with grace and dignity as I make my way through the forums and have chosen NOT to engage in many of the hijacking of posts and cruel mud slinging that seems to have become an epidemic on many threads these days, delivered at the hands of a handful of particular Lushies. My silence ends here...
Yes OMKN, I AM SURE about my comment - thank you for asking.
I may not agree with what Tammy Nguyen is doing but she has every right to act and post as she pleases just as you have time and time again. If she chooses to play the role of the Virgin Mary while on Lush but wants to whore herself out on Twitter, go for it! Its not MY life and her actions do not impact me in anyway. She has to answer to her own conscience and especially to her husband if he is unaware of what she's doing.
And if her profile is indeed FAKE, honestly, who the f**k cares?? He/she wasn't asking for your feedback in that regard so MOVE ON already.
What I was agreeing with was his/her courage to stand up to YOU and having the gumption yo respond to your very cruel attack - a VERY low blow in my opinion.
I've been around the forums long enough to have seen you post and make your comments and pass judgements and engage in, if not INITIATE , much of the pathetic mud slinging that has overtaken so many of the threads. Lush is supposed to be a place of fun and fantasy and escapism as well as a place where people should feel safe to say and do and BE who they want. Period. Who died and made you God?
Its clear you are bored and have far too much time on your hands and have sunk to an all-time low in the way you have chosen to conduct yourself on here. I find your hijacking of people's comments and posts to be cruel, cocky, self rightious not to mention uncalled for and even despicable in some cases.
I believe in the freedom of speech. I don't expect everyone to like nor agree with everything that is said on the forums BUT there is a right way and a wrong way to make your point. You have something to say, say it BUT the WAY in which you do, in particular with regards to THIS thread, only shows you to be a sadistic shit-disturbing cyber bully. Congratulations.
I suspect the powers-that-be on Lush will come knocking on your door soon enough if they haven't already.
Have a nice day.
I see both sides of the issue, which seems to now be anchored on personality differences and posting styles.
I can see how the initial post would very well appear to be in direct conflict with tweets and even another online account that uses the same exact pictures of the member, but with a totally different name... as well as how there does seem to be a direct desire for attention, but the original post claims otherwise. So that is the situation.... how do you address the original question would be the real issue, right? Or maybe not address it at all?
The simple truth is that no matter if "her" account is real or not, if the member says to not try to cyber with her/him, then don't. The advice given so far on that matter has been pretty good. There is a lot each member can do to eliminate unwanted attention of any kind. Also the signals each of us clearly present are part of what we can do as well. And in most cases the responses we get can be pretty predictable.
I also find it kind of comical in a way that when a member posts about "fake" accounts here, other members laugh at it and pretty much tell them to suck it up, it is part of the "fantasy".... and yet we have an account NOW that looks like it could very well be one of those types of accounts, and it seems to BE a problem? LOL I personally have tried to distance myself from these types of issues since it was clear that no matter what side you stand on, you will likely piss off someone or they will at a minimum think your are being silly.
So whatever the case, if someone, for any reason, shows a desire to NOT have you contact them (for cyber or anything else), just don't do it. Everyone will be much happier.
The rest... forum politics... and I have no desire to jump head first into a steaming pile of THAT. ;)
The general rule is, as far as I'm aware, if you wouldn't tell your husband that you're doing it, it's cheating.
Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.
Why not read some stories instead
NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber Put your lovely avatar back up. You're very pretty by the way but if you feel the need to hide behind an avatar that's quite okay, too.
I agree though. I don't mind if someone feels the need to jack off over my stories or pictures or whatever is on my profile.
I just don't want to discuss it with them. I'm quite okay not having a play-by-play.
I'm always set to invisible and away and I very rarely chat nor do I use the chat rooms.
I prefer mail or black boxes. And its usually to share a joke or a laugh or a comment about someone's blog or something in the forums.
Pretty boring stuff in the world of cyber.
I don't feel that cyber is cheating though. And I have engaged in it in the past, but I'm not comfortable enough with anyone here to attempt it, nor am I looking for it.
I'll never fault a guy (or girl) for trying, but I will if they can't get the hint when I say "No thanks"