My wife sometimes will say "I would do her" when seeing a pretty girl. Typically this is after having a drink or two.
I would totally be open to her being with a woman, but my question is do you think she is actually bi, bi-curious? Or do women just say that?
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Bi-Curious
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Active Ink Slinger
I am Bi-Sexual and I cannot remember when I was not. But this term Bi-Curious, is very confusing to me.
It is rather clear that there are many woman out there who are Bi-Sexual, but never follow through on their sexuality. Many do not know that they are Bi-Sexual until they are deep in Therapy. Sometimes the recognition of a persons true sexuality is painful for them to discover.
If you wife says "I would do her" Does that make her Bi-Curious or is it her way to indicate she is able to admire the beauty and sexuality of another woman? Have you, had serious discussion with her about having sex with another woman or maybe even a Threesome where you could participate also.
Some studies indicate many woman have a Lesbian characteristic that they will never be aware of nor act on.
You and you wife my want to have that series discussion sometime soon.
It is rather clear that there are many woman out there who are Bi-Sexual, but never follow through on their sexuality. Many do not know that they are Bi-Sexual until they are deep in Therapy. Sometimes the recognition of a persons true sexuality is painful for them to discover.
If you wife says "I would do her" Does that make her Bi-Curious or is it her way to indicate she is able to admire the beauty and sexuality of another woman? Have you, had serious discussion with her about having sex with another woman or maybe even a Threesome where you could participate also.
Some studies indicate many woman have a Lesbian characteristic that they will never be aware of nor act on.
You and you wife my want to have that series discussion sometime soon.
Active Ink Slinger
Sorry Double Posting
Active Ink Slinger
With my wife I noticed how turned on she got when watched girl/girl scenes in porn. When I first approached the subject of how she felt one night she was a little coy about it but the more I spoke to her the more turned on she became. Once she realised how turned on I was she became more open and asked me how I felt that she had this feeling of curiosity of having sex with another woman. I think this is where bi-curious comes in. The thought of being with another woman was such a turn on but actually doing it was frightening. Once I confessed that I would love to see her with another woman she relaxed and questioned me more on what I'd love to see her do.
After further discussions, fantasising and making up scenes during sex over the next few weeks or so, we both realised that we had to put her curiosity to the test and find out for real if my wife was just curious or actually bisexual.
This is what got us into the swinging scene and since that first time my wife has realised that she has passed the curious stage and is now bisexual. We've now made friends with other couples who's wives enjoy the pleasures of other women.
After further discussions, fantasising and making up scenes during sex over the next few weeks or so, we both realised that we had to put her curiosity to the test and find out for real if my wife was just curious or actually bisexual.
This is what got us into the swinging scene and since that first time my wife has realised that she has passed the curious stage and is now bisexual. We've now made friends with other couples who's wives enjoy the pleasures of other women.
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I think many more girls/women are fascinated and interested by other woman than care to admit it. I felt desires towards other girls at school and older women out of school but supressed my feelings, until the day in the locker room, I will publish a story around that soon. Since I have been more open with my feelings many girls and women have told me of their desires and wants but say they are not brave enough to give in completely.
Rookie Scribe
She could genuinely be open to it, she could just be messing about, or she might just do it because she thinks you'd like it? the best advice is maybe just be open about the idea .. judge the relationship and if it's at the stage where that kind of thing is approachable .. do it but sensitively.. but if she does say no, never push it
Active Ink Slinger
Next time she says it, bet her that she wouldn't really and see what happens.
Thanks for the input ladies
An interesting thing happened the other day, that I thought I would share on this topic.
We had couples massages last weekend (same room) and both of our masseuses were women. Hers was pretty good looking and mine was not good looking at all. After the massages, we went and had a drink at a bar.
I mentioned how my girl was extremely unattractive and that there was zero chance of me sporting any "wood". She agreed and laughed. My wife said hers was pretty good looking and said that if she was to bring one of them back for a threesome it would definitely be that one... She sort of caught me off guard and I "froze" and just said that I agreed.
We then went back to our room and had sex. When we were having sex she wanted me to touch her very softly (like the masseuse did at certain times). She said it was very arousing. I asked her if she was turned on during the massage and she said yes, very. It was a pretty hot sex session as I was lightly licking her nipples and pussy, all I could think about was it being this woman doing this to her. I suspect my wife was imagining the same thing...
So since she brought it up out of the blue I am thinking she may be testing the waters with me. I am definitely going to make sure she knows I am game if she is.
An interesting thing happened the other day, that I thought I would share on this topic.
We had couples massages last weekend (same room) and both of our masseuses were women. Hers was pretty good looking and mine was not good looking at all. After the massages, we went and had a drink at a bar.
I mentioned how my girl was extremely unattractive and that there was zero chance of me sporting any "wood". She agreed and laughed. My wife said hers was pretty good looking and said that if she was to bring one of them back for a threesome it would definitely be that one... She sort of caught me off guard and I "froze" and just said that I agreed.
We then went back to our room and had sex. When we were having sex she wanted me to touch her very softly (like the masseuse did at certain times). She said it was very arousing. I asked her if she was turned on during the massage and she said yes, very. It was a pretty hot sex session as I was lightly licking her nipples and pussy, all I could think about was it being this woman doing this to her. I suspect my wife was imagining the same thing...
So since she brought it up out of the blue I am thinking she may be testing the waters with me. I am definitely going to make sure she knows I am game if she is.
Advanced Wordsmith
Quote by 1nympholes
I am Bi-Sexual and I cannot remember when I was not. But this term Bi-Curious, is very confusing to me.
It is rather clear that there are many woman out there who are Bi-Sexual, but never follow through on their sexuality. Many do not know that they are Bi-Sexual until they are deep in Therapy. Sometimes the recognition of a persons true sexuality is painful for them to discover.
To me, bi-curious means that I acknowledge that I find some women sexually attractive. Not all women, any more than I find all men sexually attractive. Will I act on it? I don't know: the answer is definitely maybe, if the right situation comes along.
So, why do I say bi-curious rather than bisexual? Mostly because I haven't tried it. If I were to try it and decide, "Yuck," I'd say I'm closer to straight than to bisexual. If I were to try it and decide, "Wowowowow, let's do that again!", I'd say I'm bisexual. So, at this point it's curiosity for me. It's not an experience I would rule out immediately, but it isn't something I'm necessarily pursuing.
Active Ink Slinger
People put way too much importance in what things are called.
Advanced Wordsmith
I think that being bi-curious is being open to the possibility of being bisexual, but you just haven't had any experiences with the same sex. I also think being bi-curious is more of a sexual feeling rather than actually wanting to date or be in a relationship with the same sex, which is what I imagine when I hear bisexual, actually dating. Of course you could be bi-curious and then decide that you're actually bisexual once you've had real experiences. But that's just my opinion. And then there are women who will just admire another girls beuty/attractiveness without wanting to be sexual, but it sounds like your wife is interested in more than admiring, haha.
Thanks gals, I appreciate the insights. BabyBlonde I hope you're right and I agree with 1nympholes, time for a serious discussion. I at least need her to know that if the situation ever presented itself that I would be ok with it.
Heck what gets me off is the thought of her with another girl. I don't even need to be there. I would love the details of course. Throwing in the threesome is just gravy!
Heck what gets me off is the thought of her with another girl. I don't even need to be there. I would love the details of course. Throwing in the threesome is just gravy!
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by brianlarry
Thanks gals, I appreciate the insights. BabyBlonde I hope you're right and I agree with 1nympholes, time for a serious discussion. I at least need her to know that if the situation ever presented itself that I would be ok with it.
Heck what gets me off is the thought of her with another girl. I don't even need to be there. I would love the details of course. Throwing in the threesome is just gravy!
Speaking from experience of being in the situation your wife is (being turned on by women, but never been with one), you are a good man. I like that you would let her be with another woman on her own first. Letting her explore this side of herself and share her experiences will surely lead to great sex at the very least. Then if it is a positive experience for her, she may want you to join them at one point.
Some men are so driven by the threesome side of things that they don't think about how much a woman is taking on to give their man that kind of fantasy. It is a good thing I think to let the woman be with someone else on her own and get all of her nervousness out of the way...define her own limits without the pressure of you being there. Then, if it feels right...a threesome could follow. ;)
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Secret Little
Secret Little
Advanced Wordsmith
Quote by Ls63563
People put way too much importance in what things are called.
"O! be some other name: that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet!"
Wm Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act II Scene II (The balcony scene: Juliet doesn't want Romeo to be a Montague and she will sacrifice being a Capulet in return).
Nouns (what things are called) are labels: symbols standing for concepts in language. While it's true that it doesn't matter what the label is, the concept is important. I have a few close friends whose sexuality is known to me. They fall along what seems to be a continuum of attraction. What is important is agreeing on what the labels mean. The same thing happens with color: we have labels (Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet) but the boundaries are very fuzzy. Some people are not attracted to the same sex at all, other are not attracted to the opposite sex at all. I suspect that most of us (and, yeah, I think that includes guys, guys) have some capacity to be attracted to members of both sexes. Our culture pounds that out of guys (and to a lesser degree, girls) for some reason.
Active Ink Slinger
Well this is just natural. Most women....well we admire other attractive women. I will notice how a girl dresses, how she carries her self, how she interacts with other women.....I mean some girls are just SO DAMN ATTRACTIVE. It's pretty much natural I think? I mean my answer would be to say yes.....she's curious, but probably too tightly strung to do anything? The fear of rejection....how you will react....plus even for myself.....I'm really nervous how to make the first move with another girl? All my girlfriends....I mean the close cuddly ones....have made the first move? So......well.......it's damn simple with guys.......but I think with other girls it's more complicated? Give her encouragement......perhaps go and invite the girl over to chat. Say your wife really likes her outfit and wants to know where she bought it. Women love to talk about clothes together. This will get the ball rolling. Who knows.....hehe....have fun with her. Let your wife spread her wings. I'm sure she'll love you for it. You might even get a blow job.
Active Ink Slinger
I considered myself bi-curious until the first time I took a girl for a test drive - then I immediately graduated to bisexual. Where I tend to catch hell from people was how I determined I made the jump from bisexual to lesbian, but that's a discussion for a different thread. Anywho, I'm of the belief that the majority of women are at least bi-curious. Some act on it and some don't. I can say that the vast majority of women I know who make the kind of comments OPs wife makes do so because they're considering taking the next step. What I like about brianlarry's position is that he would take himself out of the equation in order to let her explore at her own pace. That's pretty awesome. A lot of guys wouldn't do that, and instead jump right into angling for the threesome, which could only serve to shut her down. Kudos to you!