So when my BF and I first got together we were very open as far as sharing passwords to email accounts, computers, ect. The past few months he has been changing his passwords and will not allow me access to anything of his (phone included. I have caught him doing things in the past that he wasnt supposed to be doing). Can I have some people please comment and give me some insight as to why this has suddenly started? I am afraid of the worst but dont want to jump to conclusions. PLEASE HELP!
Talk to him and ask why the sudden need for privacy. It could be something simple like he's had a password hacked and if he uses the same, or a variation, he might feel he has to change all the passwords. Or, I hate to say, it could be that he's cheating. But, whatever you do, go into the discussion calmly and with an open mind. Be prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt and do your best to be calm. Though not an expert in this, I'd wager that a calm talk would help (I hope.)
i dont believe in sharing e-mails or any of that...
though if you always have and all of the sudden it stops..
well he is doing something he should not..period...
so..you opened this can...how are you going to close it?
me i would think he was cheating...
but then i have always been cheated on so i am very very wary lady
good lucky honey
and next time
keep some things private...
If he's doing that, he doesn't want you to see something. QED.
Either:
- He already knows he shouldn't and fears your reaction
- He suspects you might disapprove and fears your reaction
- He's planning a surprise party for you
It's one of those.
{allba115-feed-5eed-facedeadbeef}
yeah... I say WHACK HIS PEE PEE probably won't help the situation much, but I bet it makes ya feel better. Though my first thoughts are that he's up to no good. I would agree with Ms GingerKitty stay calm and talk it out if at all possible
yeah... I say WHACK HIS PEE PEE probably won't help the situation much, but I bet it makes ya feel better. Though my first thoughts are that he's up to no good. I would agree with GingerKitty stay calm and talk it out if at all possible
HanoverPhist; I sure do think that Gingerkitty , IS A MALE.. He states that in very bold letters.
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
I hate to say it, but if you have to ask, then I'm sure you already know, at least deep down, what's going on...
░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
Trust is crucial to any relationship. If you don't trust him, then you need to evaluate why and if this relationship is really what you want. I know for me.. I can't be with someone I don't trust completely. If you have doubts or your gut is telling you something. Trust it.
Good Luck
"I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships."
— Gilda Radner
Follow your heart. You already have a gut reaction. Those are seldom incorrect. Good luck.
Ask him. But, in the future, don't share this stuff.
I understand sharing the computer password, especially if you two lived together, but I don't know why someone would share an email password. I gave a friend mine once because I needed an email printed and did not have access to a printer or internet, but I changed it shortly after. Passwords are like toothbrushes, in an emergency you MIGHT share them, but they're best kept private.
Maybe he's tired of not having any privacy?
Sounds like an obnoxious state to maintain, having to worry about what you might say or think in regard to every little thing he does.
Sorry - but someone had to say it. Everyone has the right to privacy without being accused of cheating while gaining that privacy.
This sharing password idea seems to have started your relationship on a basis of mistrust and doing something that should never be an issue (changing passwords and having privacy) is creating paranoia where there shouldn't be any.
If you didn't have trust in the beginning how are you supposed to have trust now? It doesn't work that way.
I change the encryption on my hard drive and my passwords monthly, Think nothing of it.
Although.... I am currently running TAILS as my OS...
If you are concerned, I wrote a brute force program that will work if you can get the length of the password within a couple days... but if you do that I'd say there's a 90% chance he will break up with you. Don't brute force anything until you are positive something shifty is going on.
And I've only begun fucking with you people.
At the end of the day, it's all math.
Trust should not rely on have or not have passwords. If I feel I need to have passwords of my partner personal accounts, maybe I should think that
there is no need to stay with that person.
How you can live, not trusting a person you love? Do you trust? yes, so love and live in peace, you don't trust? well search a new one that could be trustable.
It sounds like you have a communication problem. He's searching for something. Key thing is how to approach him. If accused people most people get defensive. Your sincerely concerned and let that that show. Sit down with him. No TV or distractions. Tell him your concerns in love.
First off... you're a sub, right? A 'sub in training'? My first question is whether your submissiveness is merely a sexual role, or are you "on" as a sub throughout your daily life? Maybe this is part of your training. A test of your trust, because after all, trust is at the core of a dom/sub relationship. If you don't trust your dom, you're not much of a sub. So is your boyfriend a dom-in-training too, or an experienced Master, who is moving you through the process of learning to be a proper, trusting sub?
If you are stepping outside of your role as sub for the purpose of analyzing this situation, then I think the consensus here is that your boyfriend is once again 'doing things he's not supposed to do', and that is the obvious conclusion to which you should jump. But if this is so, are you going to continue to be submissive with him? Because it seems to me the trust has disappeared, and without that, there is no dom/sub relationship.
What do you think he is doing?
Planning a surprise party?
He is fucking around behind your back.
If you had an open no secrets policy before, and all the sudden he's hiding things...he's cheating. Don't fool yourself into giving him the benefit of the doubt. He's hiding what he's doing online because he knows he'll get caught if he doesn't. If it was something innocent he would have told you about it when he changed his passwords the first time. If it was something innocent, he wouldn't try to hide it from you like he has a secret to keep. People who keep secrets from their partners do so because they know they are doing something they shouldn't be. He's cheating.
Save yourself a whole lot of drama and just break up with him. Obviously he doesn't care about you, or he wouldn't betray your trust like that.
My advice - never ever disclose your passwords.
If you are sleeping with him absolutely not.
You've opened Pandora's box and now you can't shut it. You say he's got form? It doesn't really matter what that was, he broke your trust.
It sounds suspicious, so challenge him on it. Being a sub doesn't mean you have to let him walk all over you (no pun intended)
Expect the worst and hope for the best.
You can purchase, online, a set of numbers which you put into his cell phone that will reveal all. It's a program that tracks his phone usage basically. You will be able to see who he talked to, texted, and with enough money, see his geographical locations for the past 60 days. The caveat of this program is he won't ever know you put such a thing on his cell phone. You go online to a website to retrieve the information. And it only takes moments, say while he is in the shower or something, to input the program onto his phone...that being said, the real question is, do you truly want to continue a relationship with someone you do not trust and feel forced to question and perhaps track their activities? There really are plenty of fish in the sea as the saying goes. Good luck.