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Need help with BF issue

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In-House Sapiosexual
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This is an old thread but seems to be a relevant problem. Two questions immediately come to my mind. Initially, was the "sharing" a mutually developed thing or based on something you initiated? And, does he ever show any desire to check your phone or read your emails?

I can't believe that some are advising more monitoring and forcing yourself into his accounts. What does that accomplish? Is your goal to make him love, be faithful to and respect you? Do you actually think that is going to do it? His changing his passwords and such is something he is quite aware of doing, most likely purposefully done to have the effect that it is having--primarily that you stay out of his business. Are you going to respect that? He is an adult and, unless you are paying his cell phone bill and such, is entitled to his privacy if that is what he desires. You can question him why, but don't fool yourself about the main reason the situation has changed. You already know the answer. He needs some privacy. Your catching him "doing things in the past that he was not supposed to be doing" is a bit scary. Not scary on his part but yours. Are you in a mutually mature relationship or are you babysitting? If babysitting is working for you, then fine. But obviously, it is not working for him.

Communication is needed and necessary here. I don't recommend starting it with "Baby, why won't you let me monitor your internet activity, read your emails and review every text message on your phone? Your not giving me access to every aspect of your existence makes me question your ability to commit?" Your lack of trust is your major issue here, whether he is actually hiding something from you is minor in comparison to that. If you think he is cheating, why not just tell him so. Ask him? Tell him why you feel he is? Enough with the I Spy activity. He may lie, but a decision has to be made on his part--you or whatever else it is he may want. A decision has to be made on your part, you want him or you don't. If you don't trust him, if you don't feel like you can, then why are you putting yourself through all that trouble. Bottom line, what do you want? How do you want to be loved?

Mutual respect is more important in a relationship than trying to be a super spy. That has to be exhausting.
? A True Story ?
The Linebacker
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He might be cheating and he might not be. As the relationship has developed he could just feel like he has lost a lot of himself, his inner privacy. He may just want that back and that does not say anything bad about the relationship. But if he can't have that he might feel invaded and start distancing himself even more which could lead to him leaving the relationship all together.

People have to give each other some space, some room to be their own private human being or they will feel the relationship turn claustrophobic.

If you take that advice and use spy techniques on his phone and computer, etc. and he finds out you'll be history and he'll be more determined than ever to protect his own identity in his next relationship.

Don't try to control, smother or spy on someone if you care about them.
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If u feel the need to put spyware on your lovers phone u either know the answer or are paranoid...

Bad roads to travel on...