So when my BF and I first got together we were very open as far as sharing passwords to email accounts, computers, ect. The past few months he has been changing his passwords and will not allow me access to anything of his (phone included. I have caught him doing things in the past that he wasnt supposed to be doing). Can I have some people please comment and give me some insight as to why this has suddenly started? I am afraid of the worst but dont want to jump to conclusions. PLEASE HELP!
Talk to him and ask why the sudden need for privacy. It could be something simple like he's had a password hacked and if he uses the same, or a variation, he might feel he has to change all the passwords. Or, I hate to say, it could be that he's cheating. But, whatever you do, go into the discussion calmly and with an open mind. Be prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt and do your best to be calm. Though not an expert in this, I'd wager that a calm talk would help (I hope.)
If he's doing that, he doesn't want you to see something. QED.
Either:
- He already knows he shouldn't and fears your reaction
- He suspects you might disapprove and fears your reaction
- He's planning a surprise party for you
yeah... I say WHACK HIS PEE PEE probably won't help the situation much, but I bet it makes ya feel better. Though my first thoughts are that he's up to no good. I would agree with Ms GingerKitty stay calm and talk it out if at all possible
yeah... I say WHACK HIS PEE PEE probably won't help the situation much, but I bet it makes ya feel better. Though my first thoughts are that he's up to no good. I would agree with GingerKitty stay calm and talk it out if at all possible
Not knowing your BF.The only information that one can try to analyze is what you have provided.
We can hope that its a surprise party For you, as suggested by Paul Moadib..
Sorry but in MHO, I feel that He is just plane up to no good.Which enplanes the sudden change in what he want you to know.
Trust is crucial to any relationship. If you don't trust him, then you need to evaluate why and if this relationship is really what you want. I know for me.. I can't be with someone I don't trust completely. If you have doubts or your gut is telling you something. Trust it.
Good Luck
"I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships."
— Gilda Radner
I understand sharing the computer password, especially if you two lived together, but I don't know why someone would share an email password. I gave a friend mine once because I needed an email printed and did not have access to a printer or internet, but I changed it shortly after. Passwords are like toothbrushes, in an emergency you MIGHT share them, but they're best kept private.
Quote by Solo_flyer I understand sharing the computer password, especially if you two lived together, but I don't know why someone would share an email password. I gave a friend mine once because I needed an email printed and did not have access to a printer or internet, but I changed it shortly after. Passwords are like toothbrushes, in an emergency you MIGHT share them, but they're best kept private.
i have mine written down where my wife can find them if she needs to in an emergency situation. i trust her enough to know that she won't access them unless she absolutely has to. same goes for hers. i know where the log is kept, but have never accessed it. it's for dire emergency only.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Sounds like an obnoxious state to maintain, having to worry about what you might say or think in regard to every little thing he does.
Sorry - but someone had to say it. Everyone has the right to privacy without being accused of cheating while gaining that privacy.
This sharing password idea seems to have started your relationship on a basis of mistrust and doing something that should never be an issue (changing passwords and having privacy) is creating paranoia where there shouldn't be any.
If you didn't have trust in the beginning how are you supposed to have trust now? It doesn't work that way.
I change the encryption on my hard drive and my passwords monthly, Think nothing of it.
Although.... I am currently running TAILS as my OS...
If you are concerned, I wrote a brute force program that will work if you can get the length of the password within a couple days... but if you do that I'd say there's a 90% chance he will break up with you. Don't brute force anything until you are positive something shifty is going on.
And I've only begun fucking with you people.
At the end of the day, it's all math.
Trust should not rely on have or not have passwords. If I feel I need to have passwords of my partner personal accounts, maybe I should think that
there is no need to stay with that person.
How you can live, not trusting a person you love? Do you trust? yes, so love and live in peace, you don't trust? well search a new one that could be trustable.
It sounds like you have a communication problem. He's searching for something. Key thing is how to approach him. If accused people most people get defensive. Your sincerely concerned and let that that show. Sit down with him. No TV or distractions. Tell him your concerns in love.
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First off... you're a sub, right? A 'sub in training'? My first question is whether your submissiveness is merely a sexual role, or are you "on" as a sub throughout your daily life? Maybe this is part of your training. A test of your trust, because after all, trust is at the core of a dom/sub relationship. If you don't trust your dom, you're not much of a sub. So is your boyfriend a dom-in-training too, or an experienced Master, who is moving you through the process of learning to be a proper, trusting sub?
If you are stepping outside of your role as sub for the purpose of analyzing this situation, then I think the consensus here is that your boyfriend is once again 'doing things he's not supposed to do', and that is the obvious conclusion to which you should jump. But if this is so, are you going to continue to be submissive with him? Because it seems to me the trust has disappeared, and without that, there is no dom/sub relationship.
My gf and I have been together for thirteen years. We know all the passwords to each others accounts. ON occasion they have to be changed after being hacked or losing the log that we keep passwords in. but there is trust there because there is nothing to hide. When I started taking my writing more seriously and came up with a pen name for my writing, I opened up an email account, twitter account, and joined you all here. I didn't tell her about these accounts, mainly because I just didn't think about it. I had discussed with her my pen name, so I jsut didn't think about telling her about all the sites. I eventually showed her everything, and showed her around this site as well, and everything was okay after that.
As for your situation, my first instinct would be that he is cheating, but it could be something simple. Maybe her has a friend who doesn't like you and keeps saying nasty things about you. Maybe he had a female stalker who wont leave him alone, and he's doing this to protect you from everything. Try to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I would talk to him about it and let him know that it bothers you. If he really cares, he'll explain. Good luck and keep your chin up.
Quote by Subintraining737 So when my BF and I first got together we were very open as far as sharing passwords to email accounts, computers, ect. The past few months he has been changing his passwords and will not allow me access to anything of his (phone included. I have caught him doing things in the past that he wasnt supposed to be doing). Can I have some people please comment and give me some insight as to why this has suddenly started? I am afraid of the worst but dont want to jump to conclusions. PLEASE HELP!
he is being private. its as simple as that he is hiding stuff which he really don't want to share with you.
some kinks, some mistrusting issues... or girlfriends.. etc
it can be anything.. or nothing at the same time.
now it depends on you if you prefer to question it or not....
i would never share my password with anymore.. not coz i am doing somthing wrong.. but coz a guy dumped me after going through my entire conversations ones which took place before he and i were in a relation..... so naturally i got sad and angry for so low trust ...
i would suggest you to let it go what ever way it is going... keep trusting him even if you know deep down he is wrong.. coz as a matter of fact.. trust is somthing one should not break this easily.. may be just may b he realize he shouldnt hide it from you ... and he might stop it?
If you had an open no secrets policy before, and all the sudden he's hiding things...he's cheating. Don't fool yourself into giving him the benefit of the doubt. He's hiding what he's doing online because he knows he'll get caught if he doesn't. If it was something innocent he would have told you about it when he changed his passwords the first time. If it was something innocent, he wouldn't try to hide it from you like he has a secret to keep. People who keep secrets from their partners do so because they know they are doing something they shouldn't be. He's cheating.
Save yourself a whole lot of drama and just break up with him. Obviously he doesn't care about you, or he wouldn't betray your trust like that.
Quote by ChuckEPoo It sounds like you have a communication problem. He's searching for something. Key thing is how to approach him. If accused people most people get defensive. Your sincerely concerned and let that that show. Sit down with him. No TV or distractions. Tell him your concerns in love.
I can understand your concerns if you were open about sharing passwords etc at the start of your relationship, and suddenly this has stopped. Of course your boyfriend (and you) have a right to individual privacy, but you are also very much within your rights to ask for an explanation - calmly, clearly and without any drama.
Oh dear! You two really need to work on "Personal space", its important..yeah really really important. Don't chase him all the time or don't be way too curious about his personal informations (though I'm not saying you shouldn't have the record of his general info) like whats he doing every second shouldn't bother you.
He is not sharing his passwords with you that alone doesn't mean he is cheating on you! .There could be certain situations like maybe there is something he is not comfortable telling you or knowing you.
Don't be pushy (unless its something really important which is neccessary for you to know like your whole relation is depending upon it) - and no ..knowing his fb pw or his mail pw is not really neccessary if you trust him (I'm not talking about blind trust here).
Quote by Dani I hate to say it, but if you have to ask, then I'm sure you already know, at least deep down, what's going on...
This. I mean, I keep all of my passwords and whatnot close to the vest, but that's out of habit, not fear of a significant other finding out about online/offline liasons.
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You've opened Pandora's box and now you can't shut it. You say he's got form? It doesn't really matter what that was, he broke your trust.
It sounds suspicious, so challenge him on it. Being a sub doesn't mean you have to let him walk all over you (no pun intended)
Quote by paul_moadib If he's doing that, he doesn't want you to see something. QED.
Either:
- He already knows he shouldn't and fears your reaction
- He suspects you might disapprove and fears your reaction
- He's planning a surprise party for you
It's one of those.
Yep those pretty much cover the possibilities. Fairly obviously, he's doing SOMETHING he doesn't want you to know about. So, the only question it leaves is...WHAT? And, no one here can answer that for you, only he has the answers.
Tinastits2 has also made a valid point.
BTW I too (like another poster) have a real problem with sharing passwords etc. Not that I have things to hide, just because EVERYONE deserves a certain level of privacy, and you can either trust someone or you can't.
You can purchase, online, a set of numbers which you put into his cell phone that will reveal all. It's a program that tracks his phone usage basically. You will be able to see who he talked to, texted, and with enough money, see his geographical locations for the past 60 days. The caveat of this program is he won't ever know you put such a thing on his cell phone. You go online to a website to retrieve the information. And it only takes moments, say while he is in the shower or something, to input the program onto his phone...that being said, the real question is, do you truly want to continue a relationship with someone you do not trust and feel forced to question and perhaps track their activities? There really are plenty of fish in the sea as the saying goes. Good luck.
he is hiding stuff which he really don't want to share with you. 
