It is so odd how something, some unique incident, will occur and another unique incident will connect to the first one, and lead to an entirely unpredictable outcome. There is no logical connection between the two until hindsight kicks in long after the fact. It is a false logic. There is no way that one thing would connect with another thing, resulting in the outcome that occurred. No one could have predicted it. Who knows what would have happened if they had? Probably nothing. It was the unpredictability of the thing that made it happen.

Case in point, and the reason I am writing this down, started two years ago. Something happened. In this case, I was at the State Convention for a certain not-for-profit organization. We were installing the new State Commander who I thought at the time was a wonderful and extremely capable woman. She had invited guests to her installation, as was her privilege, and they were a fascinating group of people. I learned this later in the evening as we all shared a plethora of alcoholic beverages.

I walked out onto the rooftop patio area of our hotel to have a smoke. Yes, it’s a horrible habit and I really should quit, again, but that has nothing to do with this story. Then again, I suppose if I didn’t smoke the conversation that came next never would have happened. I smoked and it did happen.

I had just lit up and was walking by a bench when I noticed the woman sitting on it. She was the female side of a couple that the new commander had invited to the installation and banquet. If I had been sober, I probably would have pretended not to notice her and would have walked on. I would have done that because I would have felt guilty. I would have felt guilty because I’m married, and she was a fucking knockout.

Instead, I turned to her. “Hi. I’m Dave. How are you this evening?”

Within minutes I was sitting next to her on that bench while she told me about her career. I’m not sure how we got to that in our conversation, to be honest. I just wanted to listen to her talk, and I wasn’t letting segues get in the way of that.

Her name was Barb, I assume short for Barbara, and she had a very successful career. She oversaw the installation of massive material handling systems and worked with some of the major companies in the United States. You can imagine the pressures on a beautiful woman, leading multi-million-dollar projects, in the construction world. A world dominated by men, some of whom were crude by nature.

Okay you say, I get it, and so what? Lots of women are successful in hostile work environments. If the truth were known, much more successful than most men would be in similar circumstances. I was very impressed with her accomplishments, and I told her so.

There is an odd dynamic between strangers that meet in an environment like the one we were in. There is a natural tendency to be at once a bit standoffish, while at the same time wanting to impress, at least a little bit. Add to that environment a virtual cornucopia of alcohol, and you get a bunch of people sharing quite a bit more than they normally would, or probably should. Eventually, the person they were being standoffish with becomes their newest best friend.

She began to share with me some of the issues she faced. At this point, I had a buzz, but I was far from drunk. I was getting a kick out of her getting gradually more graphic about the shit at work that was chapping her ass. I really don’t think that she was very drunk. I think that once she got started talking her internal filter that would normally tell her to ‘Shut the hell up’ got bypassed. Now that she had gotten started, she couldn’t stop. I thought it was probably rather cathartic for her and I was glad to be her sounding board.

I knew from scoping her out as the hottest woman at the banquet hall earlier that she was a fine figure of a woman. She was blond-haired and wearing a low-cut formal dress that revealed some very nice cleavage. The dress also hugged her nice round butt and her legs looked firm and very attractive. Since I already knew those details, it helped me to focus on her amazing emerald green eyes as I talked to her. I really think the eye contact is what kept her talking. Her significant other was nowhere in sight and I was definitely enjoying the conversation, so I encouraged her as best I could.

Please keep in mind that she showed no outward attraction to me or gave any indication she found me interesting in a romantic way. I suspect if I had made the wrong remark, I would have been shut down immediately. That was fine with me. I’m married and I really wasn’t interested in cheating on my wife. I was just enjoying listening to her. The more graphic the details got, the more I was enjoying myself.

She told me about how hard it is to maintain the respect of hard-core construction guys. It was made even harder when a corporate executive secretary was assigned to her for fieldwork. Barb looked at me as seriously as a heart attack. “She was putting their thingies in her mouth! All the time! I caught her one day getting ready to do that right in front of the mobile office in the parking lot!”

First of all, I couldn’t believe she shared that with me. Second of all, I got the biggest kick out of her description of a blow job. She wasn’t done. She looked at me in all seriousness and I believed her every word. “I stormed out of my office and separated them. Then I sent her back to corporate headquarters on the next plane. The construction supervisor that she had been getting ready to blow had the nerve to ask me if I was taking her place!”

“Can you imagine? He wanted me to give him a blow job!”

Whoa, I thought. She just went from ‘mouth on thingy’ to ‘blow job’ in moments. This was getting really interesting, and quite a bit of fun. Come to find out, said secretary had been having ongoing affairs with some of the executives, and one of the married ones needed to get her out of town for a while. That’s why they had sent her to Barb. They wouldn’t let Barb fire her for what appeared to me to be obvious reasons. I wondered if that secretary knew how much power she wielded.

Needless to say, after she started saying ‘blow job’ I began to fantasize just a bit. She didn’t realize that she was rubbing my arm through my suit jacket while she talked to me. I swear that she didn’t mean anything by it, but it sure made me have thoughts. Those big green eyes looking into mine so sincerely while she recited her woes and rubbed my arm felt rather forbidden. I knew nothing was happening, but it made me feel attractive at that moment and stroked my ego something fierce.

We talked for the better part of an hour. She leveled up her graphic descriptions to include more ‘blow jobs’ and ‘fucking’ until she reached semi-filthy equilibrium as she continued telling tales about the sexually rampant secretary. A level I thought of as just the right mix of dirty with innocent. It was very erotic to me and yet, still pretty funny. The secretary ended up recruiting a couple of other women working at the job site and it was all Barb could do to keep them from having an outright orgy.

In a fit of my own oversharing, I told her that I wrote erotic stories and that what she was telling me would make a good one. At that point, she stopped talking about herself and wanted to know all about my writing.

Considering how close she was to me, and that she was rubbing my arm, her significant other took it pretty well when he showed up. I immediately included him in the conversation and found out his name was Scott. Scott was a super nice guy and an accomplished musician. I could see that she saw much more in him than just his tall, good looks.

The three of us talked about more mundane stuff for a while. Then, she mentioned to Scott that I wrote erotic stories. He seemed fascinated rather than offended much to my relief. Eventually, I looked at my watch and saw that it was nearing 1:00 am. I needed to go to bed and bid them goodnight. They ended up walking with me to the elevators and we said our goodbyes as they stepped off onto their floor. I assumed that I would probably never see either of them again. I chalked the whole thing up as a pleasant and fun experience and went on with my life.

~~~~~{}~~~~~

One year later and I’m the one being installed as commander. This time my wife Jill is with me. There is a ceremony for the outgoing commander, and she had invited the same guests again. After the dinner following my installation Jill and I strolled around the room talking to folks. We eventually sat with Barb and Scott at a round table near the doors. An unaccompanied young handsome guy named John sat on the other side of my wife. Between him and Barb sat a quiet couple. The quiet couple didn’t have much to say and they left as soon as they finished their drinks. No big deal, it happens at these things.

I leaned over and whispered to my wife that Barb and Scott were the couple I had told her about when I came home from the last convention. That got her interested in a hurry. The five of us scooted our chairs closer together and began having a good time. It only got better as our alcohol intake increased, interrupted occasionally by a congratulatory word as people left. Eventually, the hotel staff had to run us out of the banquet room. Everyone else had already left.

We made our way to the hospitality room, but it was packed with people. As the incoming commander, I rated a suite in the hotel and I had this bright idea. “Hey, we’re all having fun. Why don’t we grab a bottle or two and go to our suite? It will be way more comfortable than this.”

Everyone thought that was a wonderful idea. Scott ran interference for me while I grabbed a half gallon of high-end vodka. He in turn grabbed some mixers. Meanwhile, Jill and Barb snuck out some cups and snacks. We were very proud of our little caper. We took the elevator to our floor and entered our suite. The first order of business was to fill up our ice buckets (we had two) and mix some drinks.

There are some important things to know about us at this point. We were all pretty buzzed and the language filters were turned off on all of us. I think by that point the filters had been ripped out and tossed off the roof. What constitutes a good idea, and a bad idea, can get somewhat smudged when in that state.

Jill is normally reserved and downright prudish around people unless she is drinking. The more she drinks the less reserved she gets and the hornier she gets. She tends to lose her ability to think of consequences and lets herself be led from one thing to the next, sometimes with less-than-optimal results. Normally, that isn’t an issue because we take turns drinking if we go out. I don’t drink if she is going to so that I can keep an eye on her and keep her out of trouble.

That night was different because we weren’t going out. We were in. So far in that we were already in our room. Hell, one of the two king-sized beds was right there. What could go wrong?

Barb mentioned my writing, which surprised John and intrigued him. The next thing I know I had my laptop out and I’m showing them my stories. We all started out trying to read over each other’s shoulders. That didn’t work out well, so I began to read to them about a shared wife, who just so happened to be at a convention with her husband. I had selected the story because I was a bit proud of the writing. I gave no thought to what everyone else might think and I surely wasn’t making a statement. John and Scott may have thought differently.

When I finished the story there was silence in the room for a few minutes. I noticed the obvious signs of arousal by looking at the women’s erect nipples and the tents in the guy’s pants. We were having fun, so who cared? Right?

Barb pulled me into another deep conversation about her secretarial trials and tribulations and I was more than happy to listen. Especially since she seemed to be more than a little bit aroused. Scott fumbled around the remote until he found the music channels. Soon soft music filled the room while Barb and I continued to talk. By this point, Jill was pretty toasted and I should have been paying closer attention.

Barb had been rubbing my thigh while she talked and as a result, she wasn’t the only one getting aroused. We had been talking for a long time when she suddenly leaned toward me. I thought she was going to kiss me, and I froze. Her lips passed mine and went to my ear. “Looks like Jill is having fun.”

I did an internal facepalm and looked across the room. Jill was dancing with John. There wasn’t a hair’s breadth of distance between them anywhere that I could see, and his hands were running up and down her back, getting closer to her ass on each pass downward. He was nuzzling her neck and her head was tilted back giving him all the access he needed.

He nibbled her ear, then put his lips on hers. Within seconds their tongues were battling each other and his hands were on her ass, pulling her hard against him. I don’t know if she thought he was me or if her inhibitions were so far gone that she didn’t care anymore. I decided it was time for me to step in.

I was in the process of standing up when two things happened. The first was Scott coming up behind Jill and joining John in molesting my wife. The second was Barb’s hands running up both my thighs and resting on my erect cock. An erection that was rapidly flagging. “David? Look at me.”

I looked into those amazing green eyes and she smiled softly. “Why don’t you let her have some fun? Nobody is going to get hurt. Can you just go with it?”

I looked over at my wife and I struggled. I’m not the insanely jealous type, but regardless of some of my fantasies, I never considered sharing my wife with anyone. On the other hand, she sure looked like she was having a good time. I wondered if she would welcome my interruption or resent it.

I decided ‘fuck it’ and gently lifted Barb’s hands from my crotch. “Give me a minute.” I walked over to my wife. “Gentlemen, please allow me to cut in.”

They both moved off and set about fixing themselves drinks. I took my wife in my arms and kissed her deeply. She responded with enthusiasm. Our lips parted and I looked at her seriously. “Do you know what you are doing? Because if this is what you want, then I will let it happen, but only because you really want it. I don’t want you falling apart on me tomorrow after whatever happens tonight.”

Jill’s voice wasn’t nearly as slurred as I expected. “I know I’m being very bad, but I’m not so drunk that I don’t know what I am doing, or what Scott and John are trying to do. I don’t want to hurt you and I will stop right now if you want me to. I’ll be a bit disappointed, but I won’t be angry or hold it against you. After all, I am your wife.

“This is a chance for a once-in-a-lifetime experience and I would like to see what happens. Barb seems to like you a lot and I certainly won’t have a problem with you being with her if that is what you want.”

I nodded. “You can’t get un-fucked, so you had better be absolutely sure. Are you sure this is what you want?”

She held me tight and whispered in my ear. “Yes, please.”

I kissed her and it took everything I had to let her go. My heart was hammering in my chest as I turned away. I still wasn’t sure that I could let her do what she wanted to do, but I meant what I said. If this is what she wanted and it made her happy, then I would do my best not to interfere.

I walked over to John and Scott. “You will not hurt her or mark her. If she tells you to stop, then you better fucking stop, and if either of you ever speaks of this night to anyone, I will fucking kill you.”

They both spoke at once. “Absolutely…Of course.”

I don’t remember walking back over to Barb and sitting down next to her. Scott and John immediately moved back in on my wife and picked up where they had left off. Her arms went around Scott’s neck and their lips met in a hungry kiss.

I think I was on the verge of a panic attack when Barb’s hands cupped my face and directed my eyes toward her. Those big emerald eyes took the edge off my panic as she talked softly to me. “Everything will be fine. They will treat her like a queen and make her feel wonderful. She still is, and will always be, yours. Let her have this little bit of forbidden fun for one night.

“You’re not the only one loaning out their loved one for the night. Scott and I have never done anything like this and to be honest I’m kind of glad it’s happening. It makes it all right for me to be with you if you want me. Do you want me, David?”

I looked into those amazing eyes. “I wouldn’t be a man if I didn’t want you. You are amazingly beautiful and sexy. I just don’t know if I can right now. I’m a bundle of nerves and Mr. Happy has gone into hiding.”

She smiled sweetly at me. “There is no hurry. Look at them. Look at your wife. She is having fun and has the undivided attention of two very handsome men. Can you let go of your fears and be happy for her?”

I turned to watch, and Barb snuggled up against me. Her hand rested on my thigh and I felt her light caress. I don’t know why, but her touch seemed to ground me, and the panic I was feeling receded to the point that I was no longer on the verge of jumping out of my skin.

Any pretext of dancing was long gone. John was kissing the back of Jill’s neck as his hands unzipped the back of her dress. Scott paused his passionate kiss so that his lips could kiss down her neck and onto her chest. His hands then pulled her dress down. Her dress had a built-in bra and when the dress fell to her waist her amazing tits were revealed in all their glory. Scott’s hands and mouth soon found them and I could hear her moan as he sucked her nipple into his mouth.

I felt Barb’s hands at my belt buckle. She unbuckled my belt, released the catch on my pants, and lowered the zipper. Her hand entered my boxer briefs and pulled my soft cock out of my pants. She wrapped her hand around it and began to slowly stroke me as we continued to watch. Something came over me at that moment. My panic finally left as I realized just how amazingly hot and beautiful my wife looked while the two men stoked her arousal.

John slid the dress off her waist and down her legs. Scott held her arms to balance her as she stepped out of it and John laid it across the back of a chair. Scott knelt in front of her while John stood behind her. John put his arms around her and began playing with her nipples while kissing the back of her neck. Scott kissed her stomach and her panty-covered pussy. His hands went to the waistband of her panties, and he began sliding them down until they fell to the floor.

Jill stepped out of her panties and John grasped her left leg behind her knee. He pulled her leg up, leaving her with one foot on the floor and spreading her legs to reveal her wet pussy. Scott didn’t hesitate. His mouth found her sex and he began to tongue her pussy. Jill was soon quivering as John held her up. Five minutes later Jill was orgasming hard on Scott’s face and my cock was rock hard.

At some point, I had gone from nervous wreck to wanting to see how many times they could make her cum. I’m sure that Barb’s gentle stroking of my cock had something to do with it. By far the main reason for my change in attitude was seeing my wife orgasm. She looked so devastatingly beautiful and so utterly sexual that my heart was ready to explode from my love for her. I had finally let go of my fear of losing her. I was giving her my ultimate trust. I trusted her to return to me when this night was over.

John let her leg down and she walked over to the bed. She lay back on the bed with her head on the pillows and watched as Scott and John removed their clothes. She watched Scott closely as he approached the bed and when he climbed on, she spread her legs in a clear invitation. I watched as he gripped his cock and slid the head into her. With a few pumps of his hips, he buried himself fully in her.

Their lips met in a heated kiss full of tongue and lust. They lay there with their bodies connected in the most intimate way for several minutes as they kissed. Scott finally broke the kiss and wrapped his mouth around her nipple. At the same time, he began to slide his cock in long strokes into her pussy.

He raised up onto his elbows and I could see Jill watching his cock as it plunged in and out of her pussy. The view just added to her arousal, and I could hear her involuntary moans as she moved closer and closer to her second orgasm. Scott’s pace increased until he was pounding her pussy, and within moments, she was screaming out as she orgasmed.

John approached the bed and tapped Scott on the shoulder. Scott pulled his cock from my wife and had her roll onto her hands and knees. He then moved to the head of the bed and offered his cock to my wife’s mouth. She enthusiastically took him in and he began to pump his cock into her mouth. John slid his cock into her from behind and reached underneath her to caress her clit while he fucked her.

It was an erotic race to see whether Scott or Jill would cum first. A few minutes later Scott won and grunted out his load into my wife’s mouth. She swallowed greedily until Scott was fully spent and he fell back onto the bed next to her. John kept pounding away at her pussy until his cum shot deep into her bringing her to her third orgasm of the evening.

John fell onto the bed on her other side as all three fought to get their breath back. When they did, the two men took turns kissing her in the afterglow. They rested, oblivious to us, as Barb moved between my legs and took my raging erection into her mouth. My focus turned to her as she looked up at me with those amazing eyes. Seeing her slowly suck my cock while looking into my eyes was almost enough to set me off right then. She looked so beautiful with my cock in her mouth.

She wasn’t in a hurry and wasn’t planning on getting me off. She was building my, and her own, arousal. I enjoyed her oral ministrations for a few minutes before pulling her away from my cock and helping her to her feet. My pants fell the rest of the way to the floor as I stood and kissed her passionately. I began to undress her as her hands did the same for me. We managed to stumble our way through stripping each other and she stood nude before me.

I knew that she was hot, but until I saw her fully nude, I had no idea how hot she really was. My hands cupped her amazing tits and my mouth found hers again. When our lips parted, we both looked over at the bed. John and Scott were helping Jill to her feet. The three of them walked into the bathroom and I heard the shower start.

I took Barb’s hand and led her to the guest bedroom. We climbed onto the bed and into each other’s arms. We kissed madly as our naked bodies touched. I never wanted to stop kissing her, but I also wanted something more. I wanted to taste her skin and I wanted to taste her nectar. I could hear my wife in the bathroom giggling before she began to moan. I did my best to block her out, but I finally had to get up and close the door. Barb deserved my undivided attention.

I loved discovering her body. Her silky-smooth skin, her scent, and her soft moans of arousal were euphoric to me. My mouth and tongue explored her amazing body and I was thrilled at the way her body moved with evident arousal. Far from passive, she enthusiastically participated. She read me like a book, seemingly instinctively touching me in just the right way, whether it be with her hands, her mouth, or while inside of her. When my mouth finally reached her amazing pussy, her taste was exquisite. I could have buried my tongue there for days. I settled for making her orgasm.

I moved up her body and kissed her deeply while rubbing my cockhead up and down her labia. She moaned loudly as I slowly sank my cock into her. The feeling of being inside her was sublime. We fit together like we had been bred for each other. We made slow passionate love, constantly bringing each other to the brink, for more than an hour. When we orgasmed together it was life changing in intensity.

Around 3:00 am we took a break for water. Scott, John, and Jill were on the bed sleeping soundly. They were so entwined that it was hard to figure out whose limb was who’s. We took a bathroom break and returned to the guest room. This time we fucked like rabbits. We moaned, we laughed, and we were loud as we shouted out our ecstasy. I have never felt so virile. I love my wife and have wonderful sex with her. I love her so much that I will never, ever, tell her that Barb was the best sex of my life without a doubt. No one has ever come close. If my heart weren’t already taken, I would want to be with her for as long as she would have me.

We showered together and took joy in washing each other. It took a long time before I was even partially satisfied that I had touched her enough. We crawled into the bed together and I spooned her as we drifted off to sleep.

My phone alarm went off at 10:00 am and I groggily scooted back from Barb so I could climb out of the bed. My phone was in the living room with my pants. I walked into the room, picked up my pants, and turned the alarm off. I heard the sounds of sex coming from the master bed. Jill looked absolutely exhausted. Scott and John didn’t look to be in much better shape, but they were giving it their all.

Scott was on the bottom pumping his cock into my wife’s pussy, while John was behind her slamming his cock into her ass. Jill was past the point of doing more than grunt in ecstasy as the two men pummeled her. I watched in fascination as, one after the other, the two men dumped what little cum they had left into my wife. It was all John could do to roll off of her before he collapsed. Jill instantly fell asleep on top of Scott. He didn’t seem to mind because he was already out like a light.

A smile formed on my face. I called the front desk and set up a late checkout, then went back to the guest bedroom. I kissed Barb’s face until she woke up and smiled at me. I kissed her and kept on kissing her until we both wanted more. We made love one final time before showering together. After we dried off, she came into my arms, and we held each other like we would never let go. Then we had to.

Those amazing emerald eyes were very wet when she looked up at me, “Wow…Just, wow. You know that we can never see each other again.”

My eyes were having trouble seeing through the fog, “I know. Because if we do, we will end up hurting the people we love. Even so, I will never stop wanting you.”

I wiped the damn shower mist from my eyes. Apparently, she was having the same problem. We got ourselves together, walked into the living room, and got dressed. God! I wanted to touch her again already. We couldn’t even look at each other because the temptation would have been too much. I managed to get a grip on myself and walked over to the bed where my wife and her lovers were still sleeping.

With lots of pushing, prodding, and eventually, yelling, I got them moving. They were barely on their feet and were having trouble just getting dressed. Barb and I shared a laugh watching them. I finished packing our stuff in the time it took Jill to become street worthy. John left on his own and staggered his way down the hall.

I opened the door and we managed to push Jill and Scott into the hallway. Then it happened. Barb brushed up against me as we both tried to go through the door. Both of us backed up to let the other through. Then we were back in each other’s arms, our lips locked in passion. Jill and Scott stood like zombies in the hallway. They never seemed to notice the endless, yet ended too soon, minutes of our final kiss.

We were delaying the inevitable and we both knew it. We forced ourselves to part from each other and I let her walk out of the door first. I watched her back as she helped her husband walk down the hall. I never saw her face again, but I will never forget it. Jill and I were going in the other direction, and I helped her move where she needed to go.

The drive home took an hour and a half and Jill slept through the trip. I had difficulty shaking her awake when we were parked in our garage. I managed to get her as far as our bed before she was out again. I undressed her and tucked her under the covers. I looked down at her looking so peaceful in her sleep and knew that I loved her more than anything on this earth. There could have been another, but there wasn’t. It was never meant to be.

Jill slept through the day and the night. I had breakfast ready for her when she woke up Monday morning. I had called us both off work. We needed a day to reconnect and talk our way through what happened Saturday night.

After eating ravenously and taking another shower, Jill was ready to talk. I could see the fear on her face. “Do you hate me now? Do you want to divorce me?”

We were sitting on the couch and I pulled her close. “I don’t hate you. I love you. Never worry about that. I agreed that you could do what you did, and I will live with that. I do want you to tell me how you feel about it.”

She snuggled against me. “I’ll start with this morning when I woke up and you had breakfast ready for me. I cried in the shower because I have never felt so loved. With no thought for yourself, you let me do something unforgivable just because it would make me happy. I was so selfish at the time that I didn’t care what you did, as long as I got what I wanted. That’s when I cried from the shame.”

I tilted her chin up so I could look into her eyes. “Don’t you ever feel shame about what happened? We agreed that you could be with Scott and John and there is no doubt in my mind that you had a wonderful time. Remember it for that, as a one-time fantastic sexual experience, and nothing more. Can you do that?”

She nodded, “Of course I can, and I love you so much for being you. Let me ask you, would you ever consider doing something like that again?”

My heart sank. “Why?”

There was no sign of duplicity on her face. “Well, John and Scott plugged their contact information into my phone Saturday night. I think they are hoping we can do it again sometime.”

The adrenaline was rushing through my body. “What do you want Jill?”

She shook her head, “I think once is enough, but I would consider doing it again if you really wanted me to.”

She took one look at my face and paled. She knew I was about to say something very serious. “You will remember that I never asked you to do it in the first place. Why would I ask you to do it again?”

I could feel her shaking. “I just thought that you might want to be with Barb again and if you did, then maybe you would want me to be with Scott. Didn’t you enjoy your time with Barb?”

I told her all the truth she needed to know. “It was nice, but it will never happen again.”

She was still tense because she knew I wasn’t done. “I will take you at your word that once is enough. I will tell you this though. You are not to communicate with John or Scott again about anything. If they ever contact you, you will tell me immediately. If I find out you have contact with either of them in any way, I will divorce you in a hot minute. Fun is fun, but it’s over. Do you have a problem with anything I just said?”

She jumped up off the couch and ran to the bedroom. She ran back carrying her phone. She started a group text to John and Scott: Do not attempt to contact me and delete my information as soon as you read this. It was fun, but it was only ever going to be a one-time event. Never again.

She sent it and deleted their contact information from her phone while I watched. She tossed her phone onto the table and turned to me. “Please take me to bed. I need to make love with my husband.”

I did, and we did. Over the next months, I had a lot of trouble getting Barb off my mind and heart. It took a while, and constantly reconnected with Jill, to get me through it. I think Jill believed I was struggling with what she had done, when in fact, I had been struggling with my own demon. I still feel guilty having let her think that, but the truth would have only hurt her and would have gained us nothing.

As far as I know, Jill hasn’t heard from John or Scott since she sent her text. She has left her phone out constantly since then, and I know she did that so I could check up on her. She was trying to show me that I could trust her without me having to be blatant about checking up on her. I did look when she wasn’t in the room, and I don’t feel a bit guilty about it.

I made a concerted effort to not find out what Barb was doing or how she was. I did hope that Barb knew that Scott had wanted to stay in contact with Jill. Otherwise, he was lying to her and that meant their trust was lost, and their love along with it. I especially didn’t want to know that. I didn’t want the temptation of knowing that she might be free to love again. I want her to be joyful in life and to have the love she so richly deserves. She will have to do that without me.

Unless you’re some sort of automaton, sexual situations like that Saturday have consequences. Lives are impacted and relationships tested. That isn’t always a bad thing, but it sure can be if you’re not careful. Once they were reigned in, Jill, John, and Scott walked away holding memories of a once-in-a-lifetime sexual experience.

Barb and I walked away knowing that our lives were forever changed. I know I would have avoided a lot of suffering and longing if I had never met her, but I will never regret one moment I spent with her; the emerald-eyed beauty who will remain forever beyond my reach.