Sophie was depressed. Her first semester was only just beginning, but she had pretty much decided that college wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. She had entered university life full of expectations about an exciting new life, one full of parties, new experiences, and new friends that shared her interests. If maybe those interests were a little on the nerdy side, so what? Surely at college she would find people like her, who loved video games, art, astronomy, and writing short stories.
She had spent all of high school with just one best friend, and although he was great she was starting to admit she wanted more. She would never admit that she was jealous of the popular kids, but she knew she wanted some of what they had: friends, shared stories, even the drama she knew they all pretended to hate. She would have loved to be talked about, to be the center of attention. But as high school ended, and she spent one final summer alone with her friend Rob, she decided she would settle for less, as long as she got to be a part of something. Maybe she could just be part of a big friend group, or a club of some kind. College, she decided, would be her chance at a fresh start. She could become the person she secretly wished to be, free of the judgement of anyone who had known her since elementary school. She could join a club, buy new clothes, and do her best to become more extroverted. Of course, it didn’t end up that way at all.
It was almost like the University was trying to prevent her from doing anything. For starters, she was never assigned a roommate. The summer after graduation, she filled out a questionnaire designed to pair her with the ideal dorm partner. Sophie knew that she would have to force herself to get out of her shell, that the only way to do that was to surround herself with exciting people. So she put down answers that she thought would attract an outgoing person. To, “Are you a people person?” “Do you like to try new experiences?” and “Do you consider yourself a leader?” she made sure to mark down “strongly agree.” To questions like, “Do you need time to re-charge your social battery?” she wrote: “strongly disagree.” These were the total opposite responses she normally would have chosen, but if she didn’t lie a little bit, she was afraid she’d end up with someone just like herself: timid and shy.
Her plan backfired. She arrived at a one-person dorm and realized that her answers had probably led the housing staff to assume she would have so little trouble finding friends that she wouldn’t even need a roommate. So instead of bonding with a new person, being introduced to others, she spent all of her free time alone in her one-bed room, watching Netflix or playing video games.
Next, she realized that most of the clubs that she assumed she’d be able to join required a certain amount of credits. Usually, this was a number of credits she’d only be able to earn after a full year at school. Most of the ones she had wanted to join fell into this category, including Gaming, Outdoor Club, Photography, and Astronomy. The only free ones were dedicated to things that seemed like work, like Language or Math.
Finally, she made a common freshman mistake and spent all of her money on new textbooks. Without any possibility of becoming that social butterfly she wanted to be, she resigned herself to a year of intense coursework just like she had done back in high school. Figuring that the only way to succeed was to stay up to date on reading material, she blew her whole money allowance on books, which it turned out she didn’t even need. That meant no new clothes, no new hair, no new style at all. For at least a year she would be the same old Sophie: mousy, unfashionable, and decked out in hoodies and baggy jeans.
It wasn’t that she was ugly. She was a natural beauty, although she didn’t realize it. And if she hadn’t been so reserved and shy, a lot of her fellow students would have admitted she was pretty cute. Some even felt that was what made her cute in the first place, though they never approached her for fear it would be social suicide. At 5’1’’ and thin, she tended to disappear into her baggy clothes, but she couldn’t hide her freckles, button nose, or hazel eyes, even behind her big, round glasses. She usually wore her long brown hair in a modest ponytail, unaware that when she let it down its natural, gentle wave surprised boys and girls alike. She would never have guessed that the very popular kids she was envious of talked about her often, with the boys she secretly crushed on bashfully discussing what kind of body she might be hiding.
But no one ever interacted with her. It didn’t help that everyone assumed Rob was her boyfriend. He was not the mega-geek that most assumed he was, but Sophie never thought of him as anything other than her dorky best friend. They were simply two kids who were too socially awkward to be around anyone else. She considered him a brother, and the two shared details so intimate that she could never have imagined him being anything else. But since they shared every free moment, it was easy for people to assume that they were even more.
Even now, separated by schools a thousand miles away, the two only had each other for company. Rob seemed to be having similar issues to Sophie, finding it more difficult than they had expected to adjust to college life. And although Rob had a roommate, he still spent his free time texting his friend, calling her on the phone a few nights a week, and sending photos of his daily life at the same pace as it occurred. And although Sophie was basically desperate for a bigger social circle, she had to admit that it wasn’t so bad, having someone to talk to whenever she felt like it. A month before Christmas, she called him to tell him that she wouldn’t be visiting home.
“I just don’t have the money,” she said, after breaking the news.
“Come on,” he said. “Won’t your parents take care of that?”
“They said that they wanted to save up for a trip with me in the summer.”
“Well,” Rob said slowly. “What if I got you a plane ticket?”
“You can’t afford it,” Sophie said, although a part of her jolted to life at the idea. The more that time passed, and the more isolated she felt, the more she felt as if she should transfer closer to him, if not to home.
“So?” he asked.
“Why don’t you ask your parents?” she mocked.
“Ha-ha,” he said. “I just know you’re bored and, uh… lonely. And it sucks that you’ll be alone on Christmas.”
“Maybe I’ll meet some other lonely soul,” she said. “It has to happen sometime.”
“I’d rather you hang out with me,” he said.
“Obviously,” she agreed.
“Do you want to FaceTime?” he asked.
“No,” she said nervously. “I’m ugly.”
“So am I,” he said.
“So you agree that I’m ugly?”
“Stop it, you know what I mean.”
“Whatever,” she laughed. “I’m serious, though. I have no clean clothes, my hair is a mess, I haven’t even left the dorm all weekend.”
“Not even to eat?” he asked.
“I have a microwave,” she said, realizing how depressing she was sounding.
“Come on, I don’t care. I’m in the same boat as you are.”
“I’m sure that’s a lie,” she said, although she knew it was probably true.
“Well, uh…” he said. “I met like, one person. In the dining hall. It’s no big deal, though, she -”
“She?” Sophie said with mock jealousy. Or, maybe a little real jealousy. Rob had never, ever been a romantic interest for her, and in fact it was Sophie that made that clear back in high school. But for some reason the thought of him with some girl made her feel even worse.
“It’s not a big deal!” he said. “She just likes the same stuff as I do.”
“I wish I had that with someone,” Sophie pouted.
“You have that with me,” Rob said.
“I know. But it’s not the same when you’re over there, and I’m over here.”
“Are you still thinking about transferring?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” Sophie said tiredly. A few moments of quiet passed between them, the kind of quiet shared by two friends who are growing apart, but are afraid of doing so. Finally, Rob changed the subject.
“So, what did you do today?”
“I got the new ElfTome game.”
“What? I thought you didn’t leave the dorm.”
“I may have lied a little bit.”
“And I thought you didn’t have any money?” Rob asked.
“I traded in all of my old games,” Sophie said.
“Dang. It must be pretty good, then,” he said. “I know you love RPGs, but that’s a lot for one game.”
“I haven’t played it yet,” Sophie admitted. “It sounds stupid but it’s not the same when no one’s watching.”
“Have you ever thought about streaming?” Rob asked. “If you’re having trouble meeting people, it might be a cool way to make some friends. Not best friends, obviously. That title belongs to me.”
“Obviously,” Sophie laughed. “I’ve never thought about it, though. I don’t really know much about it.”
“Well, I could make you an account, and then I could watch you play. If I posted it online, you could make some money, too.”
“Really?” she asked. “Is that like, weird?”
“I watch streamers all the time, am I weird?”
“Yes,” she said, seriously. “Yes, you are.”
“Well, I still don’t think it’s weird. Do you have a webcam?” Rob asked.
“You know I do, we talked on it yesterday.”
“I’m just making sure you didn’t sell it for more video games,” he laughed.
“Very funny,” Sophie said.
“Okay, I’m on my laptop now,” Rob said. “I’m going to make you an account and send you over the information.”
“I don’t know,” Sophie said shyly. “What would I even do? I don’t know how to stream anything.”
“Oh, come on. You’re telling me you’ve played, like, every video game ever and never watched a live stream?”
“I mean yeah, a few. But I don’t think anyone’s going to be interested in me if I try it.”
“You’d be surprised,” Rob said. “Besides, who cares if anyone sees, other than me? It’ll be like we’re hanging out.”
“Well… okay,” Sophie said hesitantly.
“Awesome, I’ve got it all set up. I’ll text you the password, but you need to send me a photo for the profile.”
“Is this just a complicated plot to see my ugly face?”
“Well, maybe a little bit,” Rob said. “I mean, to see your totally regular face. But it could be fun! I’m just getting really sad hearing how lonely you are, and I think this could get you out of your shell a little bit. Just send a nice picture.”
Sophie, after some searching, settled on a photo of her that Rob had taken over the summer. She was sitting next to a fountain at their hometown park, her freckles livened by the sun, with a big smile.
“I love this photo,” Rob said. “You know, if you make some money doing this, you could come visit for Christmas.”
“I thought you said we weren’t worrying about that!” Sophie said, although she admitted she liked the idea. She had seen a few streamers, and wondered exactly how they made their money. She was well aware that some people would pay money just to see a girl, and was anxious she might attract some kind of creep. But on the other hand, it’s not like she could turn down the chance at popularity. The fact that she was even considering doing it, showing her face online where there was even a slight chance someone would see her, spoke to that. Then she realized that if she wanted anyone to see her at all, she’d have to clean herself up.
“Can I be right back?” she asked. “I’m going to shower and stuff.”
“Duh,” Rob said. “I’ll set up a stream for you, and when you can get back, we can finally give the new ElfTome a spin.”
She hung up and stripped down, looking over herself in the mirror. Though she was still thin, she had gained more than a little college weight - just not the kind that most people would have thought. Just because she was shy and modest didn’t mean she wasn’t aware of that not-so-modest fact: her boobs had gotten massive.
She was well aware that they were bigger than average. Disproportionately big, actually. The problem was she wasn’t entirely sure what to do with them. They had blown up pretty much as soon as she had gotten to school, and grown so fast that her instincts told her to cover herself up, instead of showing herself off. Her introvert personality was mostly responsible for that, as well as the fact that most of her tops quickly had become too small for her. She had grown out of all of her bras, too. Although she had tried her best to squeeze into what she had, after just two months she snapped her last B-cup in two. A month after that, she was so big that she couldn’t button her shirts all the way, and by December the growth was beyond belief. It was part of the reason she hadn’t really pushed to come home for Christmas. And of course, she hadn’t told Rob.
It wasn’t that she hated them. Although she was, at first, a little terrified at just how quickly they had exploded, she started to admit that they made her feel like a whole new person. Soon, she bashfully realized that the bigger they got, the more she liked them. Part of the reason she had always been so shy was that for most of her life, she was skinny as a rail, with practically no body at all. As some of her classmates turned eighteen, they had blossomed into goddesses, with the kind of curves people worshiped. She watched with envy as those girls grew into their wide hips, their shapely thighs, their perfect breasts, and practically glowed with all the attention. She had been afraid that she’d never catch up, that she’d always be the kind of featureless person who disappeared into the background. But almost as soon as she settled in at college she became twice as developed as her rivals. She figured that if she could only take advantage of her new assets, she really could become a new person. The only problem was she had no idea where to start.
