Beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep.

Dominic checked the meat thermometer. Perfect. The aroma of the roast wafting into the kitchen brought Renata to his side just as he set it on the counter.

“Mmmm, smells amazing,” she sang, inhaling deeply. “I'll make the salad while that rests.” The fact that her nipples were forming pronounced peaks in her t-shirt top didn't escape her husband's notice.

Dominic admired his wife's ass as she bent over to gather the salad ingredients from the bottom drawer of the refrigerator. As she straightened up and turned around with an armful of veggies, he thought, Dammit, missed the chance to give that ass a test-smack!

“What?” she asked, looking at him suspiciously, dropping everything on the counter.

“What, what?”

“Why the grin? What are you up to?”

“Not up to anything, just admiring your cute butt.” He encircled her waist with his arms, drawing her close. They kissed as he ran his hands up and down her back, one palm lingering on her butt cheek for a moment while the other brushed her ear. His eyes, as well as a finger, dropped from her face to her chest. “Looks like someone's a little excited.”

“Well, yeah!” Her admission surprised him a bit, and excited him more. She pushed away from him and peeked under the corner of the foil covering the roast, teasing, “I always get a little excited when there's a big, hot hunk of meat around!”

“Oh, you're bad!” He slapped her ass cheek playfully.

“That's why you love me!” she giggled.

They rinsed the vegetables and got ready to chop everything for the salad. Renata pulled off all the lettuce leaves they would need and started shredding them into the bowl.

“Would you stick that head of lettuce back in the fridge?” she asked him. “I need some space to create! And stick your glass in the dishwasher if you're done with it.”

“I can think of somewhere you can stick this!” Dominic wiggled the cucumber, grinning.

“Rude!”

“Hey, I already washed it for you,” he replied, chuckling.

Her eyes widened, mouth opened in astonishment. “Omigosh, you are not serious!”

“Hey, I thought you were excited. I mean, look at those yummy nipples!” He reached the cucumber out toward her titties, but she backed away. “It's not all about the hot hunk of meat, is it? You're eyeing something else, aren't you?”

“Behave yourself! Fuck!” Renata was at once annoyed, but aroused, giggling.

“I didn't marry you to behave myself. I married you so I wouldn't have to!” Dominic replied, pushing the cucumber through his circled thumb and forefinger.

“That's way too thick, no way. I could get a carrot in without a struggle, but not that thing!”

“Oh, so you're up for it?” He backed her into the counter, his semi-erection pressing through his shorts into her stomach. Arms around her, he laid the cucumber down and grabbed a handful of carrots.

“Oh, shit, seriously?” She was trying to be disgusted, but it wasn't working. The thought of fooling around in the kitchen, like this, was getting her more than a little aroused. As if her nipples weren't indication enough, now she was feeling a little heat and wetness between her legs, responding to Dominic's hardening cock.

Dominic held four carrots up in front of her face. “Nah,” he said, discarding the smallest one. “A variety of shapes and sizes. Which one would you like, my dear?”

She looked into his face, shaking her head, and then focused on the carrots. Smiling, she picked the biggest straight one, pulling it from his hand.

“Good choice.”

But she dropped it over her shoulder onto the counter behind her, to his displeasure. “Hmmm,“ she mused, eyeing the remaining two carrots. The shorter one was thick at the stem and tapered to almost a point, and the one of more uniform girth had an odd bend to it. She pulled out the tapered one and dropped it over her shoulder too, leaving the bent one in Dominic's hand.

“My second choice. Also a good one!” He teased her erect nipples with it and then slid it down her front, trying to stick it inside the waistband of her shorts.

“I'm not going to do this by myself,” Renata declared.

“Ooo, I'd be glad to help,” he offered, making another attempt to slide the carrot in.

“No, I mean I'm not going to be the only one.” She grabbed at his cock, feeling its firmness. “I'm not going to give you a show if you don't give me one, too!”

“Umm,” he said nervously. “What do you mean?”

“I need some inspiration. Take it out.”

“What?” he asked, the tables turned on him.

“C'mon, let me see what I'm working with!”

He unzipped his shorts and pulled his cock through the fly for his wife to see. She pushed her own shorts down, the elastic waistband gliding over her hips on the way to the floor. She wiggled her finger downward to indicate that he should drop his all the way, so he complied, boxers and all.

“Hmmm,” she hummed. “Lettuce wrap?” She grabbed a big leaf of lettuce and swiped his cock with it repeatedly. He poked the carrot down into the top of her panties, and she felt it align with her slit when he pushed further. She stroked his hardening cock now that she had the lettuce leaf wrapped around it.

“Ohhh, fuck, Renata,” he groaned, grabbing one side of the waistband of her panties, then the other, working them down her legs. Setting the carrot down, he lifted her up onto the counter, plonking her ass onto a discarded carrot and the other lettuce leaves.

“Ow, fuck!” She cleared everything out from under her and parted her legs, teasing her pubic hair and slit with her favorite bent carrot. So fucking aroused now by the prospect of being naughty with salad ingredients, she pushed the tip of the carrot in between her pussy lips, wiggling a little till it slipped inside, while her husband watched, grinning at the erotic display.

Bending forward, Dominic planted his lips and tongue on his wife's shoulder, then neck, tasting down toward a breast. When he nipped with his teeth, she recoiled.

“Eek!” she blurted out. “You are so naughty!”

“I'm naughty?” He looked her right in the eyes, their lust escalating. “Who's the one spread open on the kitchen counter with the carrot in her twat?”

His dirty talk elevated her excitement. She pushed him away, glaring at him. “You want to watch this? Huh? This is what you want, you dirty, horny man?”

“Oh, Renata, wow, fuck, yes,” he responded, gripping his now-raging cock and stroking it at her. Opening herself more with the fingers of her other hand, she showed him more wet pink insides while she plunged the carrot in further, angling it to pleasure all the different zones.

“Hey, this isn't a one-way show!” With the carrot still lodged inside, she grabbed the tomato and the paring knife, telling him, “I'm going to watch you fuck something, too!” Dominic took the carrot and gently slid it in and out of Renata's cunt a few times, and then withdrew it completely to allow her to hop down from the counter. She cut the stem out of the tomato and then turned it over to finish coring it from the bottom.

“Really?” he asked, disappointed at the size of the hole. “You think my cock is that small?” He stuck the head of his dick where the stem used to be, demonstrating that it wouldn't fit.

“Okay, a little more! But we don't want it to be too loose,” she warned, hollowing the tomato out a bit more. “Ooo, let's warm it up!” She stuck the tomato in the microwave as Dominic poked her ass cheeks with the carrot. While she looked at the buttons, he probed between her legs with the now-glistening vegetable from behind. Allowing him to insert it, she bent and spread more, starting to finger her clit. “Well, fuck,” she cussed, “you'd think all these modern microwaves would have a 'tomato pussy' setting, wouldn't you?”

“You are fucking dirty!”

“It's the hot hunk of meat, I told you. Fifteen seconds?”

When the timer dinged, she retrieved the tomato and poked her finger through the hole. ”Oh yeah, nice and warm,” she reported, turning around, coming off the carrot, leaving her husband holding it in one hand and stroking his cock with the other. “Hey, no fair wanking. Fuck this!” They exchanged tomato for carrot as she told him, “It's not as hot as my pussy, but it should work for you!”

“Oh, fuck, you are a dirty minx!” Dominic forced the snug hole of the warm tomato over his cock head while Renata jumped back up on the counter. She inserted the carrot deep inside, spreading her legs and teasing at her clit with her free hand. Squishing noises and pale red juice came out from the center of the fruit while he pushed his stiff cock all the way through it.

He stepped up to her and guided her hand to the tomato, and she was able to hold it low enough for him to fuck while he took over carrot duty and lifted her shirt up over her tit. Awkwardly, they managed to get each other's shirts off while pleasuring each other with the items that had lost their usefulness as salad ingredients. Now naked, they switched foods and masturbated for each other with unabashed lust and silliness.

Dominic came first, a grunting, trembling, spasming exhibition that sent spurts of thick jizz up Renata's thigh and a trail of thin semen and tomato juice streaming down her leg. Powered by the sight of her man's ejaculation and the thrill of this naughty escapade, Renata laid back, not caring what veggies she was trapping under her back, legs wide, carrot pumping her splayed, squishing cunt.

His fingers joined hers a few seconds later to push her over the edge.

“Oooh, fuuuuck!” She cried out in climax, legs shaking, tits bouncing. “Aaahhh!”

A minute later, after she calmed and he removed the cream-smeared carrot from her oozing pussy, she hopped down from the counter, legs wobbling. They stood there laughing, a little shocked by what had just come over them, but glad they had decided just to let loose.

Dominic took a bite out of the carrot and began to crunch, careful to step around the tomato that had splatted to the floor. After an initial look of disgust, Renata smiled, shrugged, swiped a blob of cum off her thigh, and sucked her fingers clean.