What the fuck! I was on the phone to Tina while I was running back to my office. “Tina, where are you and what have you done so far?”

“Sat in the car in the car park. I sent you the text, nothing else yet,” I could hear the shake in her voice, I only hoped she couldn’t hear it in mine.

“Take a breath and remain calm, we talked about this, just follow the plan, I can be at the hotel in half, three-quarters of an hour. You’re what twenty minutes away?”

“About.” I heard her take a big breath and let it out.

“Okay, I’ll call Steve on the way. They have an underground car park there don’t they, shall we meet by the stairs leading to reception?”

“Sounds good,” she replied.

“If it’s an employee they may have access to the security feed from there, or if they are professionals. I doubt the latter and if it’s the former, we’ll get Diane to raise hell.”

After dinner on Sunday we had started to discuss what to do about the blackmail, both Diane and James had suggested we go to the police about that too, when we said we thought it better to give them something more to go on, like someone involved, they both put their hands up and asked us not to involve them; professional, plausible deniability. We tried to back the girls off too as we did not want them getting involved with anything that could blemish the start of their careers, especially if this went south, as it could so easily.

On the Monday, I had been trying to work out scenarios about how this would pan out, I guessed based on previous texts that it was somehow going to involve him trying to get Tina to blow him. The question was how and where. I gave Steve a call and offered him a pizza and some beer and to be in the presence of the Pisky and he was more than happy to come around.

He was shocked but ready to tear someone a new one when we showed him the picture and explained what was happening. He was all for getting the whole team together, but I thought that would be overkill and not particularly subtle. We talked through how we would deal with the various scenarios and the others thought of a few more. Ideally, it would end in a citizen’s arrest, persuading the ‘gentleman’ to tell us a few more details, like who else might be involved, before the police arrived.

Worse case was we would back off and run the risk of them releasing the photo, which would not be the end of the world, it would not get them arrested, unless someone deemed it worthy to spend resources to track it, which was unlikely. Other than stopping them, probably what both Tina and I wanted to know was the how and why, how the picture had got taken and out and why Tina.

So, the race was on, I told Mark, my second at work, that I had to disappear and for him to see to the rest of the closedown. I was then in my car racing across the town as fast as the holiday traffic would let me. I called Michelle, using my hands-free in the car, to tell her what had and was happening and to give Diane a call just after the hour mark and let her know. I asked that she and Claire try and be around the house this afternoon to support their mum and was told in no uncertain terms that I had been rude to even think they might do otherwise, well that’s the clean version. Tina’s fire, my eloquence, I loved my kids.

I then called Steve and told him it was going down and when and where. He closed with, “We’ll see you there,” which got me wondering.

It was tight, but I arrived with five minutes to spare, Tina and Steve were both there talking to another man mountain. This was one of the doormen from Steve’s pub, wanting to earn a few extra pounds, just in case, as Steve worded it. The plan was Tina would go to reception and get a key card and ask for a spare for her husband. We would pass in the lobby where she would pass it over and then I would take the stairs to the second floor. Steve and his man were going straight up from the car park and would be just along from the room.

Ping “Your cutting it fine bitch!”

Steve was ready to forego the key card when he read this. Knowing how protective he was towards Tina, I didn't want him to do something he would regret. I tried to lighten an already heavy mood by saying, "No need to lose your rag over someone's crappy spelling, Steve." He just grunted in reply.

Tina dialled me and put her phone on hands-free before putting it in her jacket pocket, I gave her the dictaphone I had bought from work which she started and put that in another. It was set up with a little clip so you could put it in a shirt pocket to dictate notes on while doing other things, this would help get the recording as clear as possible.

As we passed in the lobby, Tina held her hand open, there was nothing in it. So plan B, she was going to throw the card on the floor before entering the room. Once through the door to the stairs, I flew up the four flights and into the corridor of the second floor. As I got my bearings, I saw they had been given a room right at the end nearly opposite to where I had come out. I looked and saw Tina approaching, looking terrified as you can expect and just behind her were two looming shapes.

I mouthed, “You okay?” and when she nodded, I backed into the stairwell and looked through the fire glass as I saw her open the door and throw the key back toward me and then it close behind her. Steve and his man were there as I picked it up.

“Do we go straight in?” Steve was chomping at the bit.

I held up my hand the reception from my phone wasn’t great, “Shh, I’m listening.”

“Get on your knees, bitch!”

“How do I know you’re the person sending me the texts?” We had decided to try and make sure they had evidence if we could.

“You don’t.”

“I’ll be off then, unless you can show me that it was you that sent them.”

There was rustling, then “Happy now? Now get on your knees.”

“Once I’ve sucked your,” she paused, “penis, how do I know you’ll stop blackmailing me?”

“Oh, silly bitch, sucking my cock is just the start. Now get to it!”

“So, tell me, where did you get the picture? And why me, where there was a roomful of women, half of whom might possibly be happy to suck your,” the pause again, “penis.”

"JUST FUCKING GET ON WITH IT OR WE SEND THE PICTURE OUT!” We didn’t need the phone for that bit.

I put the card in the slot and opened the door I heard him say, “What the f... oof!” and then I saw him, half turned to me, a bit bent over, holding his groin. I ran forward, putting one hand on his head, the other on his shoulder and start propelling him forward into the wall opposite. His head bounced back a bit as we hit then I kicked one of his knees from behind and elbowing him in the back, he collapsed onto the floor with me landing on top.

I looked up at Tina, “Always the balls.”

“Always!” The look of venom in her eyes made Steve, who was rushing to her side, pause and look at me before holding her and asking if she was okay, had he touched her and other protective questions. She kissed his cheek and said that she was fine, he hadn’t, he then walked over to check on me.

He is such a clumsy oaf at times and today was no different, would you believe that one of his size thirteens landed squarely on the blackmailer’s left hand and as he tried to correct himself, he stepped backwards onto his ankle. After apologising he told his man to take over from me and handcuff him, another bonus of having a proper security guard with us.

I took off the mask he had been wearing and none of us recognised him. We checked him over and found two phones, one with the texts on, which he had shown to Tina. After a little encouragement from Steve, he agreed to unlock both. First thing we did was remove the passwords, second was to look through the incriminating phone where we also found some texts to another number, these others confirmed they were his co-conspirator. We were typing the number into what I thought was his main phone and the list was showing five names but before we could get any further the door opened, several police officers entered followed by a familiar face.

Tina recognised him first, “Eric?”

“Err, sorry? The police arrived and said someone was being held in a citizen’s arrest in this room. "Oh, is it Tina?” He looked over at Steve and took a step back, then at me, “Luke?”

“Hello sunshine,” said Steve to the visibly nervous looking Eric.

“Hi,” then to me and Tina, who was now in my embrace, “could I have a word in private?” We agreed and stepped into the corridor while Steve explained what he knew to the police.

“Look, this is a bit awkward for me and I understand if it is for you. I’m the duty manager and deputy of the hotel, so when I was informed of the incident, I naturally was the one to attend it. Considering our previous conversation,” he paused and looked from one to the other of us, “I would understand if you would prefer one of the assistant managers to deal with it.”

I looked at Tina, who shrugged, “Eric,” I started, “providing you remain as professional as you have been, we have no issue with you dealing with this. Our last conversation was the result of a misunderstanding, what say we leave it back at that night?”

We shook hands and went back into the room. The ‘gentleman’, who we found out then was called Clive, had just been read his rights and two of the officers were leading him away. Steve had handed over the phones and they were under no misapprehension that he had done what he had, but he had made a counterclaim of assault on the four of us. I explained that at worst it would Tina and myself, but even then, it was justifiable force and played him the recording from the dictaphone.

He did formally arrest us but did not cuff us and said we would be notified to attend to make statements and answer questions at some point after Easter. When we were later asked about his broken nose and cut lip, there was also a couple of broken metacarpals in one hand and two fingers in the other. He had also developed a severe limp too. 

We all agreed it must have happened when I was trying to restrain him, to stop him continuing his attempted rape of my wife. For such a gorilla, Steve can play the ignorant innocent perfectly, probably the years of being accused of hitting someone in rucks and mauls, he almost had me believe butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth. We were subsequently de-arrested; no charges were bought.

Eric organised vouchers for weekend breaks for two at a hotel, within their chain, of our choice at a time of our choice for all four of us. This was just because Clive had chosen his hotel to play out his game. It was a nice bonus that both Steve and his man were over the moon about. As for his man, we gave him two hundred pounds for his help. 

Steve assured us it had been covered, but when I heard he had a young wife and child I insisted on covering their Easter costs, I also know I can call on him again. Steve refused any money, but a hug from me countered by a hug from Tina was more than enough to send him away as a happy man.

On the way home, I checked in with Mark that everything had gone okay. He sounded exasperated as he told me it was fine and that I should switch off and go home, I smiled as I thanked him. Then all was quiet in my car as I followed Tina home. My thoughts started drifting over the events of today and then the last few weeks that had led to here, finally, over all our time together. I concluded that I would surprise Tina with a second honeymoon, only this time it would be far grander than our week in the Channel Islands, another note-to-self.

We pulled into our drive and Tina raced round to me as I got out and jumped into my arms hugging me tightly, wrapping her legs around my waist and kissing me with a passion that is usually reserved for the bedroom, or maybe on occasion the kitchen table. When she stopped, I didn’t put her down, just turned so she could shut my car door, then walked up to the house and kicking the door, hoping the girls were both in and out.

I looked at her as we waited, “It’s over,” was all I said, she nodded and as some tears ran down her face, she rested her head on my shoulder.

“Ooh hello, love birds, did you get married again? Got to carry her over the threshold again?” Michelle said as she stood with the door open.

“What would you say if I told you I couldn’t put your mum down as I don’t want to expose myself to you?”

She put on a faux look of shock and ran back into the house waving her hands over her head, “Arrgghhh dad!! I don’t want that image!!” Tina giggled as I stepped into the house and put her down. I locked the cars and closed the door, hopefully on this episode.

Walking into the kitchen Claire looked up from her phone and gave us a look as if to say what did you do this time. Then she asked if we were okay, Michelle came back from where she had run to and listened as we recounted the events of the days.

“What a c…” Michelle ran out of steam.

“Yes, dear, a complete one,” Tina replied.

“Well good news, mum, we heard from the council and the theatre today. Both want to sit down and discuss the events of a few weeks back. The Wolves seem to be arguing so we are moving ahead with suing them and we’ll see if that changes their tune.

“I heard from Diane, they are going to charge Clive with blackmail, holding you against your wishes, sexual assault and attempted rape. Although he didn’t do it, Diane went and raised merry hell at the station, saying that would have been the outcome for a less savvy person and he should be kept off the street. Though she knows some will be dropped and some will be lessened, it’s a start.

“And the accomplice,” she paused, “they arrested her this afternoon and will charging her with the joint enterprise to the charges that Clive is getting, what they used to call conspiracy.”

 “When did you find this out?” I asked.

“Diane just texted me the last bit, the first happened while I was at their office still. She also asked that you call her when you get in.”

Tina and I went into the living room and sat on the couch with her tucked into my side the phone on my knee.

“Diane, Luke here, you’re on speaker and Tina’s with me.”

“Luke, Tina, how are you both?”

“We’re fine, it went down without any problems, Claire asked us to call,” Tina said.

“Okay, I have some information about the alleged blackmailers, sorry, I have to use the official terminology, I thought you might want to hear, some of it is going to shock you, possibly quite a bit.”

“Go on, we’re here together, it’ll be fine,” I replied.

“Clive, the guy sending the texts, is a bit of an unknown quantity, late thirties, works with his accomplice and apparently totally besotted with her. It seems he was doing this to try and get into her knickers.

“The accomplice, same age as Tina and me, went to the same university as us,” she paused, “do you remember Paula, of course Tina will, but you Luke?”

“Not that Paula? Hen night Paula?” I heard Tina gasp as I said it.

“The very same. I can’t get hold of the interview tapes on this one as I won’t be on either side, so I can’t tell you any more now than Claire has? Not that I could or would, you understand.”

“Yes, she updated us just before calling you, thanks,” I replied.

“Well, they’ll both be appearing at the Magistrate’s court on Tuesday for the initial hearing. It may be interesting.”

“If you can get an approximate time, we’ll be there. I’d like to know what’s going on.”

“And let the bitch burn too,” added Tina, I think she shocked Diane as much as me with her vehemence as the phone went quiet for a moment.

Diane carried on, “Presumably, you want to press full charges against both. If I get the footage on Tuesday as I’ve been promised and it does show the stripper being active, I presume the same for him too?”

“Too bloody right,” was Tina’s reply.

“Thank you, Diane, for all your work and thank James too and for giving Claire this bit of experience,” I said.

“Love you both, you keep safe and enjoy each other without worries now,” Diane blew us both a kiss and hung up.

We both looked at the phone...