There was a lock box on the doorknob, and the realtor briskly crossed the wide curved front porch, and slid her pass card into the slot. Retrieving the key, she slid it into the lock, and opened the door.
Turning back to Alice, she said, “Well, do you want to see the inside?”
Alice closed her mouth with a snap. She had been standing at the bottom of the steps, looking up over the slate roof of the porch to the third story, and wondering what the shingles would look like painted in a contrasting color. She slowly ascended the three curved steps onto the porch, and running her hand over the porch column as she walked past it, looked at the front door. She loved the tracery of the frosted glasses in the side lights and transom, and smiled to herself. Without even setting foot inside, she knew this was it.
“I’d rather wait, and see the interior together with my husband,” she replied. “That way, we will both get an impression that is fresh. Could we come back this evening?”
……………..
The apartment door banged into her butt and closed behind her, as once again she mentally railed against the idiots who made ridiculous safety laws that required doors to be self-closing. She set the bags of groceries on the kitchen table, and placing her hands on her hips stood, legs akimbo, surveying the dreary interior. “What a dump,” she said in her best Bette Davis voice. Then, thinking of Elizabeth Taylor in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolfe, she thought to herself, Beyond the Woods. It’s from Beyond The Woods. Thinking of Beyond The Woods reminded her of Into The Woods, and she began singing to herself, as she put the groceries away.
Into the woods
And down the dell,
The path is straight,
I know it well.
Into the woods,
And who can tell
What’s waiting on the jour-ney?
Oh, my, she suddenly thought. We’ve been wishing for a house of our own for so long. I hope that ‘be careful what you wish for’ moral in Sondheim’s play doesn’t come back to bite us. She quickly put the thought out of her head, as she began to prepare supper.
She had just finished setting the table when the door burst open, and Gerald announced, as he always did, “Hi, honey! I’m home!” Seeing the table already set for dinner, he thoughtfully put his briefcase on the floor, before taking her in his arms, and pressing his mouth to hers.
She melted into him, and hungrily kissed him back. Then, leaning back slightly, she looked up at him and asked, “How was your day?”
“Excellent!” he replied, brightly. “I have a surprise for you.” Releasing her, he bent down and fished in his briefcase. Standing up, he handed her a card. On it were printed the words, “Holman, Hughes, Finch and McQuire, PA”. ”Old Man Holman came to the office this afternoon, called us all into his inner sanctum, and passed out the new cards. I made partner!”
“Oh, Gerry, that’s wonderful! And I have a surprise for you, too! But it will have to wait until after dinner. I hope you’re not too tired to go for a little ride. I told Doris we’d be ready around six thirty.”
“Who’s Dor… oh, the realtor… I take it she has found something that might suit?” Gerald asked, taking a seat at the table.
“ I think it might,” replied Alice, with a twinkle in her eye.
“I see that smile, you little minx,” Gerald said, noting the glint in her eye and hint of a smile at the corners of her mouth. “Remind me never to take you to Vegas for poker. You have a ‘tell’ that the whole casino could read.”
“God, I know,” laughed Alice. “Remember that Saturday your parents dropped in unexpectedly? Your mom shot me a look, and I just KNEW she could tell we’d playing. And then, later, when she and I were mixing drinks, she said to me, ‘ I saw you rubbing your wrists. You and Gerald should use neckties. They don’t dig in, the way rope does.’ I was just about MORTIFIED!”
Gerald laughed and said, “That’s mom; she just puts it right out there. I think that’s what attracted my step-father to her.”
“Or maybe her bedroom kinks,” quipped Alice, while munching on a piece of celery.
“Aw-w-w GEEZ!” said Gerald, “People are trying to EAT here! I don’t want to think about my mother doing it while I am eating.”
“I don’t know if she’s doing it while you are eating or not, dear,” Alice laughed, then went on, “I didn’t make any dessert …”
“What? No dessert!! You mean I just ate all this food for nothing?” Gerald interrupted.
Alice ignored him, and went on, “… because I thought we’d swing by Paradiso for a little tiramisu after Doris finishes showing us the house. My treat. And stop quoting your kid brother,” she added, smiling.
“Great idea,” Gerald replied, “And we can split a bottle of bubbly in celebration of my new title.”
“What’s a great idea? Stop quoting, or the tiramisu?”
“Tiramisu, silly,” Gerald replied, wiping his mouth with his napkin.
“Ah, there’s the door buzzer now,” Alice said. “It’s probably Doris. Be a dear, and tell her we’ll be right down, while I freshen my lipstick.”
………………………
The first thing that caught his eye as they pulled into the driveway, was the turret on one corner, and the curved wrap-around porch. Gerald was immediately reminded of those big old houses in Cape May, where as a child he spent Summers with his grandparents. He had always wanted a house with a curved room. But he forced himself to not say anything, thinking that if they seemed too eager, Doris might take advantage of them. The attorney in him took over, and he reminded himself that the realtor is representing the seller, not the buyer.
“Looks like fresh paint on the porch columns and railing, “Gerald said, to no one in particular.
“Oh, yes, “Doris brightly replied. “The old paint was that horrible dark green that was all in vogue in the fifties, and I suggested white columns would help brighten the entrance a bit.”
“I wonder what color they originally were?” asked Alice. “I’ll bet the whole house was painted with three or four different colors, just like in the old Renwick catalogs.”
“Well, that seems a little garish to me,” Doris replied primly. “I like a nice, clean, white house. And, of course you’ll want to remove those overgrown shrubs along the porch and out the driveway.” She swept her arm in a wide arc, taking in the mature rhododendrons and azaleas that lined the driveway and encircled the porch.
She’s an idiot , thought Alice, but said, “Well, I suppose there will be lots of little things we’d want to do.”
“I think I kind of like the rhododendrons and azaleas,” said Gerald. “They create a grand entrance, without sacrificing privacy.”
Doris took the hint, and became all business again, as she opened the front door. “You will note, she said, the door has been fitted with the latest in modern security locks, and …”
“I hope they didn’t discard to original hardware,” interrupted Alice.
Doris saw which way Alice was leaning, and quickly recovered with, “… and all the hardware was saved and boxed up, in case someone might want to restore it. Though it seems to me, given the seclusion created by the overgrown shrubbery, one would want a little extra security.”
Gerald, standing in the entry foyer, and in an attempt to defuse what he saw as a brooding argument between Alice and the realtor, said brightly, “Well, shall we have a look around?” He turned to his right, and headed through the doorway into what was obviously intended to be a lived-in living room. The formal parlor must be on the opposite side, with the turret, he thought to himself. I wonder if it has pocket doors, to accommodate a coffin?
He passed on through the living room, noting the full concert grand piano in the corner, and thought, If it were me, I’d put that piano in the turret portion of the parlor. I wonder if the piano goes with the house? It would make a wonderful anniversary present for Alice.
Alice followed him into the living room, and when she saw the piano with its keys open, went over to it, and idly ran her fingers over the keys, as she turned and surveyed the room. Almost as if by accident, she pressed a key, and was greeted with a discordant tone. Second string on that G is flat, she thought to herself.
She winced slightly, and Doris asked, “Is something the matter?”
“Oh, don’t mind her, “Gerald replied. “She has perfect pitch, so when a note is off like that, it bothers her.”
“I think the seller is interested in letting that Mason and Hamlin go with the house,” Doris said, hoping that might make up for her earlier gaffe about the exterior. “I believe they want 10,000 for it, and we could easily incorporate that into the overall purchase price and mortgage.”
Gerald and Alice looked at each other, and Gerald gave a slight shake of his head, as if to say, “Hush. Don’t say anything.”
Alice turned and started to walk through into the dining room. Like the living room and the front hall, this room also had a large medallion in the center of the ceiling, supporting an ornate chandelier. She noted with some interest that it appeared to have originally been gas, but had been electrified at some point in its distant past.
Doris flipped the wall switch, and the room was lighted in sparkling glow. The prisms in the chandelier cast a series of rainbows on all four walls, and the overall effect was at once both festive and sophisticated. The center of the room was taken up by a large table, set with eight places on a side, and two on each end, and the light from the chandelier sparkled off the silver service. Clearly, the current owners were people with taste.
Alice glanced at the silver and noted it was Kirk “Rose”, the same as her grandmother’s which she had packed away in storage. She smiled to herself, picturing her own table set with her own silver, her “Bell and Ivy” glassware, and her Booth’s “Real Old Willow” china. She strolled past the table, into the kitchen, and reached for a light switch inside the kitchen doorway.
The kitchen was very modern, in stark contrast to the entry foyer, living and dining rooms. The walls and ceiling were semi-gloss white, and the lighting was by recessed ceiling floodlights. There was a large butcher block-topped center island, complete with hooks mounted low at all four corners. A heavy cleaver hung from one, and a sharpening steel hung from another. The ample counter space was all topped with a light grey granite, except for a three-foot wide section that was white marble, clearly intended for rolling out pastry dough. A rolling pin, made from matching marble, lay in a curved wall shelf above it. A white knob protruded from the edge of the counter beneath the marble section, and Alice rightly assumed it was for cooling coils set under it. A six-burner Viking range was accompanied by a Wolf double wall oven and a large Thermidor refrigerator/freezer.
Alice thought how easy it would be to prepare complicated dishes in these surroundings. And then a sudden thought popped into her head, unbidden. I wonder how that cold, smooth granite would feel on my bare back? She felt a familiar stirring in her lower abdomen, and involuntarily glanced at Gerald’s crotch as he walked into the kitchen. She felt her face flush, and looked up into Gerald’s eyes and smiled at him.
“I can imagine some wonderful meals being prepared in here,” Gerald said, smiling back at Alice. Her glance had not gone unnoticed, and Gerald envisioned himself kneeling, and dining on her most delectable parts from the edge of the butcher block counter. He leaned back against it and stood with his legs crossed, hoping that the pleats in his trousers would conceal what he was sure must be a noticeable bulge.