“Lilly!" Scrotum shouted while panicking, “How long will it take Anna to clean this mess up?”
“I’m sorry, sexy ass. Anna is not programmed to move dead bodies.”
Scrotum rushed over and picked up the dead woman, “Now you get Anna to clean up and I will hide her.” Scrotum shouted to Lilly.
“Whatever you desire, hot stuff,” Lilly replied back.
Scrotum staggered down the corridor. He had picked the body up upside down so that her knees were resting on his shoulders and her head resting against his groyne. He was panicking.
“Where the fuck am I going to put her?” he asked himself as sweat poured off his brow. He went down the lift and then staggered into the cargo bay and looked around. Apart from the 3D sex pictures on the wall and his favourite wanking chair, it was empty. Anyone would see her if anyone came in here.
The kitchen and food storage was next, “I'll put her in the freezer!” he said out loud, but when he finally got to the freezer and manoeuvred the door open, and stopped dead.
A wall of pizzas stood in his way, “Oh, you've got to be kidding me!” He moaned again as he tried to close the door with the dead woman against the pizzas but it was impossible.
The comm switched on, “Scrot are you there?”
Scrotum swallowed hard. He had to answer, to make an excuse so his uncle didn’t come aboard until Anna had finished cleaning up the blood and he had hidden the body.
“I’m here, give me ten or fifteen minutes Uncle Dom, I’m naked.” He said out loud, the comm relaying what he said to his Uncle.
“It takes you fifteen minutes to put on a pair of pants?” Dom asked, unsure why Scrot sounded so panicky, he didn’t want him to try and fix Lilly. Knowing Scrot, he would surely break the computer, and he didn’t want to buy another AI, they weren't cheap.
“Err, I can't find any,” Scrot shouted back as he picked up the woman and carried her into the engine room. He was hoping he could dump her into a fuel pod, or even into the core, but all the fuel pods were full, and the core couldn’t be accessed with the engines online.
“Override, Override!” Scrotum shouted panicking having run out of possible hiding places.
“I’m sorry, hot buns. The radiation levels are too high. You would fry yourself.”
“I don’t care!” Scrotum shouted at Lilly.
“What are you trying to override Scrot?” his uncle asked, with concern, having only heard Scrotum's side of the conversation.
“Nothing... nothing important Uncle Dom!” Scrotum shouted, having forgotten the comm was still on.
“I’m sorry, my sexy lover, access denied. It's too dangerous.” Lilly continued.
“I’m coming in,” Dom shouted getting anxious.
“No, just wait one minute Uncle,” Scrotum shouted back as he waddled back to the lift and went back up, still carrying the dead body, wheezing as he hadn’t done anything this strenuous in a long time. He entered his bedroom threw back the sheets and placed the body down and pulled the covers back over. He then tore off his bloodstained clothes throwing them into the laundry basket and quickly got dressed, going commando as he couldn’t find any underpants.
He opened the bedroom door only to see his Uncle standing on the other side. “Err, hello Uncle. How are you today?”
Dom looked at Scrot. He looked sweaty. He glanced over his shoulder into the bedroom and saw a woman in his bed. “Oh, you don’t usually have female company, Scrotum. Not at this time of the day, and certainly not sleeping in your bed, they often leave after fifteen minutes don’t they?”
“Ha ha ha, you're such a kidder Uncle Dom,” Scrotum said with a laugh, even though his uncle was right.
“Maybe you can introduce me?” Dom asked with a smile while licking his lips. The smile faded from Scrotum’s face, last time he had introduced a potential girlfriend to his uncle she had ended up sleeping with him. But this was not the time to dwell on such matters.
“She’s a heavy sleeper,” Scrotum replied, “and... and she's been ill. You see, we drank too much, and we were up all night and… and… she's married!” Scrotum cried as he tried to sound convincing.
His uncle shook his head, “Listen, boy, if she didn’t want to sleep with you, you could have just said.”
“She did,” Scrotum lied… “Err, I've seen her naked.” He added.
“It doesn’t matter to me nephew, as long as you are happy and don’t kill yourself, it will be all right.”
“Yes, Uncle Dom.”
“So, let her sleep. We can go into the guest quarters and talk about your ship and Lilly.”
Scrotums eyes opened wide, “No! Err no… err no… we should… err… go to the cockpit. I'll explain everything there.”
Dom looked confused but followed Scrotum to the cockpit.
As soon as Dom sat down, Lilly announced: “Anna has finished her cleaning my sexy hunk, may I massage your balls now?”
Scrotum closed his eyes and took a deep breath before reopening them, only to see his uncle grinning. “So... what have you done to Lilly?” He asked.
Scrotum decided the truth was the best option, with head hung low he replied, “I bought a sex program and installed it on the computer but the new program mixed with Lilly’s AI, and now she talks like that.”
“I know, I knew months ago, Lilly sends me reports on your ship once a day, and suddenly she was talking about sucking me off… I ran a diagnostic last time you were on the station. Nothing serious is effected some code has been replaced and her voice protocols and some logic routines have been corrupted, but are stable, so you can keep your Lilly. I’m sure she will cause you as much trouble as fun. Now you have to live with it.”
Scrotum looked surprised, partly because his uncle had known and was keeping track of him and partly because he wanted his uncle to fix Lilly but also wanted him off the ship so he could get rid of the body before the imperial guards turned up.
“Thank you, uncle, is that all?”
“No, it's not.
