SESSION ONE

Alexis couldn’t get comfortable. Her mind raced as she waited in the plush chair, wringing her hands. Was she really going through with this? How did it even come to this point? Why did she agree to come here in the first place?

Taking a deep breath, the woman attempted to calm herself down in hopes that she wouldn’t be a complete train wreck when the therapist arrived. “This is a good idea,” she breathed, closing her eyes. “Just remember, you’re doing this for Aaron.”

Before she could give herself any more affirmations, Alexis was startled by a gentle knock at the door. She turned her head to the source of the disturbance as the door swung open and a man holding a clipboard stepped into the room.

“Alexis Dawson?” He asked with a warm smile, closing the door behind him. “I’m Dr. Miller. Nice to meet you.” The doctor extended his arm for a handshake.

Alexis’ eyes went wide and a lump formed in her throat as she stared at him. “Y- you’re Dr. Miller?” She finally stuttered, continuing to stare at the man as though he were an oncoming freight train. “You’re Dr. Ainsley Miller?”

The doctor’s warm smile never faded as his arm dropped back to his side and he took a seat in the chair across from Alexis. “That’s right,” he answered. “Is everything okay?”

“I just,” she began before taking a deep breath and restarting. “I just saw the name Ainsley, and I guess, you know, I guess I thought—”

“That you were meeting with a woman,” he said, finishing her sentence. Alexis nodded, and the doctor continued. “Trust me, it’s not the first time this has happened. We can blame my parents for that one.” Dr. Miller chuckled softly. “So, would you like to jump right into what brought you here today, or should we take some time to get to know each other first?”

Alexis stared at the man sitting across from her, clutching her hands until her knuckles were white. “I’m sorry,” she finally mumbled after a long pause. “I don’t know if this will work. I just, it’s just, you see—”

“Alexis, it’s okay,” he began in a gentle tone. “Now, listen. I’ve been doing this for a while, and I can tell that you’re uncomfortable. That’s perfectly normal. Nobody comes to their first session with a sex therapist ready to dive in and open up about every last detail of their lives. On top of that, you had the added shock of expecting a woman to walk through that door just now. I can assure you though, I am very good at what I do. That’s why your doctor referred you to my office. You’re in control here, Alexis. If we end this session today and you never want to come back, that’s perfectly fine. All I ask is that you give this first session a fair shot. Let’s at least try. If it turns out that I’m not the right therapist for you, I’ll gladly help you find one who is. What do you say? One session?”

Alexis gulped and took a deep breath. “Okay,” she muttered, preparing herself for a long 90 minutes. She could do one session. She had to, really. She’d promised Aaron she’d try, and she was worried about what would happen if she didn’t at least put in that effort.

“Wonderful,” Dr. Miller smiled. “Remember, today is all about helping you. We’re going to move at your pace. If you don’t want to talk about something, just say the word. Why don’t we start nice and easy? I’ll go ahead and tell you a little about me and my practice, and then we can dig into the reasons that you’re here.”

As the doctor shared his background, Alexis found her tension beginning to ease. Before long, Alexis found herself nodding along as he spoke, and she even chuckled nervously at a joke he made. By the time he had finished his introduction, the woman was still a bit apprehensive, but she was doing much better than when he had first walked in.

“Alright,” Dr. Miller said with a smile. “Your turn, Alexis. Why don’t you tell me a little about why you’re here today?”

“Okay, I’ll try,” the woman began, her cheeks becoming flushed. “Just give me a second. This is the first time I’ve talked to a man other than my husband about any of this, and it’s embarrassing.”

“Don’t worry, Alexis, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” the doctor replied. “Women make up over ninety percent of my client base. You’re not going to say anything I haven’t heard before. Sometimes it’s just best to be blunt and power through it. I’m here to help if you need it.”

Alexis took a deep breath. “Well, if I’m being blunt,” she replied, mustering up her courage, “it’s because I’m awful at… intimacy, and always have been. When my husband, Aaron, and I were married, I was still a virgin, and… ‘it’ was very awkward that first time. I remember thinking that it would get better, and I guess in some ways it did. I mean, the actual act, the, um—”

“Sex,” Dr. Miller added.

“Yeah. The, um, that. That part is good,” she continued. “In the moment I always like it. But for some reason, I can never seem to motivate myself to want it. It feels like another task, or a chore that I have to do, not something I actively want to do. I don’t know if that makes any sense.”

“It makes perfect sense,” the doctor responded, taking notes on his clipboard. “Many women feel that way, Alexis. How does your husband feel about your difficulties with intimacy?”

“It drives him crazy,” she said solemnly. “Aaron’s desires are through the roof compared to mine, but for me, it’s, like, hard to motivate myself to want it, so it just never happens. I tried to keep up when we were first married, but eventually that fell apart. Now here we are, married for nearly six years, and we’re doing it maybe five or six times a year. Aaron tries to be supportive,” she said as tears began to run down her cheeks, “but he’s frustrated, and I’m frustrated, and our whole marriage is just not in a good place because of it.”

The doctor pulled a tissue from the box on an end table and handed it to Alexis as more tears streamed down her face. “It sounds like there’s a lot going on,” he said as she tried to regain her composure, “and much of it ties back into your low sex drive and the strong emotions that stem from it. What finally motivated you to come in for therapy?”

“It was Aaron,” she said, wiping away more tears. “I caught him sending messages to other women. We had a huge fight. I told him that he shouldn’t be flirting with other women and keeping secrets from me, and he told me that he couldn’t live in a marriage without any intimacy anymore. After I’d calmed down from the fight, I realized he was right, that I needed to change. I told him if he would give me some time, I’d find someone to help with my problem. My doctor told me about your clinic, and here we are.”

“Here we are, indeed,” Dr. Miller said, smiling gently. “That’s a lot to have on your plate, Alexis. It must be very frustrating for you. Fortunately, there is good news here. What you’re going through is very common among the women I work with when they first come to me. So common, in fact, that I’ve developed an entire therapeutic regimen to address exactly this problem. It’s nearly one-hundred percent effective, too. Here, have a look at this.”

The doctor leaned over, opened the end table’s drawer, and extracted a small black plastic box, roughly the size of a deck of playing cards. He reached out to offer it to Alexis, and she hesitantly took it from him. As she did, the woman’s eyes bulged at how unexpectedly heavy it felt.

“What is it?” she asked, turning the nondescript box over in her hands.

“It’s a therapy tool I developed. It ties into this,” he replied, picking up a smartphone from inside the drawer. “I use this with all of my clients. It makes difficult conversations much easier, and helps women address issues related to their low sex drive. Let me show you how it works.”

The doctor tapped the screen on his phone and the device sprung to life, vibrating gently in the woman’s hands. As she held the buzzing device, Alexis felt a warmth spreading through her body, beginning in her hands and radiating outward, until she felt as though she was completely wrapped in a blanket of warm comfort. A sense of calmness washed over her, melting away her worries, stress, and anxiety.

“Are you feeling anything?” Dr. Miller asked his patient after a moment.

“Vibration,” she responded as a contented smile appeared on her lips. “Warmth, too. It feels so nice.”

“Superb,” he said. “That means it’s working.” Looking down at the smartphone, he tapped the screen a few more times before looking back up at the woman. “Alexis, as your therapist, you’re completely comfortable with me. You will find that you can share anything with me, even if you wouldn’t share it with anyone else. You can confide in me. There’s nothing off limits in our relationship. Do you understand?”

Alexis felt like she wanted to agree with the doctor’s instructions. It was so easy to be agreeable with how good she was feeling. Still, she wasn’t sure how easy it would be for her to be completely open with him. There were so many topics that were so challenging for her to talk to anyone about, even lifelong friends or family. Could she really confide in a near stranger? Looking at him nervously, Alexis wanted to say that she understood, but found herself shrugging her shoulders instead.

“That’s okay, Alexis,” the doctor responded. “I want you to relax a bit more deeply, and then let’s think about this a little more. Why don’t you close your eyes and really get comfortable?” He tapped his smartphone a couple more times before looking back up at her.

Alexis felt the intensity of the device’s vibrations increase in her hands. She found the tiniest moan escaping her lips as she sank down further in the plush chair, slowly closing her eyes. It felt so wonderful. If this was all she got out of her session, she decided, it would already be the highlight of her week.

“Very good,” Dr. Miller continued. Now let’s think together about this, Alexis. I’m your therapist, correct?”

“Mhh-hmmm,” she replied happily, feeling completely free of concern.

“And a therapist is someone you can trust completely. Alexis, say that you can trust me completely.”

“I can trust you completely,” she replied, knowing it was the truth.

“And if you trust me completely,” he added, “that means you can share anything with me, and there’s nothing off limits between us. Is that correct?”

“Yes, doctor,” Alexis responded.

“Very good again,” Dr. Miller praised her. Now Alexis, we’re going to talk about some deep topics today. You’re completely comfortable talking about anything with me, so this won’t be a problem for you at all. All that matters is enjoying this wonderful sensation filling you up and enjoying the sound of my words. Does that make sense?”

Alexis nodded softly as she sighed happily in her chair, enjoying the warmth being imparted by the device.

“You’re doing so well, Alexis,” Dr. Miller continued. “Let’s dive right in and talk about your sexual experience. You said your first time having sex was your wedding night with your husband, and on your survey you indicated that your husband is the only man you’ve ever been with. Tell me, aside from your husband, what other men do you have sexual fantasies about?”

“I don’t really have those kinds of fantasies,” she replied dreamily. “Never have.”

“Never?” Dr. Miller asked. “That’s very interesting. What about when you’re masturbating? What do you think about when you’re pleasuring yourself?”

“I don’t really do that either,” Alexis replied. “I’m never in the mood, and it feels wrong to please myself while Aaron is waiting on me.”

“Oh, my dear,” the doctor replied. “This is starting to give me a picture of what you’ve been going through. It seems like you’ve been very sexually repressed, Alexis. We need to do something about this. Sexual repression is a major factor of failed marriages. Do you love your husband, Alexis?”

“Of course,” the woman replied softly as her thoughts swirled. The doctor had to be right. She trusted him. Was she really sexually repressed? Could that be causing her problems?

“And you want your marriage to work, correct?”

“Yes,” she answered truthfully.

“Then our first order of business is going to be breaking through this wall, and curing your extreme sexual repression.” The doctor punched the screen of his smartphone before continuing. “Listen carefully, Alexis. Self-pleasure is an important part of a woman’s life. There’s nothing at all wrong with having sexual fantasies, just as there is nothing wrong with giving yourself a little pleasure through masturbation. These are harmless, pleasurable activities, Alexis. Do you understand?”

“I think so,” the relaxed woman answered, still feeling somewhat hesitant despite the incredible sensations from the device.

“Alexis, that didn’t sound very confident,” the doctor said. “Why don’t you tell me what you’re thinking?”

“I know you must be right, Doctor,” she began, her eyes still closed as she rested against the chair. “It’s just that I was raised to believe that even just fantasizing about anyone other than your spouse was wrong.”

“I understand that, Alexis,” Dr. Miller answered, tapping his smartphone screen. “Listen carefully – many of the things you were raised to believe were in fact harmful. These things are the cause of your sexual repression. We must address these beliefs and change them, or your marriage is in danger. For the sake of your marriage, you must be willing to change some of your beliefs. Can you do that, Alexis?”

“Yes, doctor,” Alexis replied.

“Very good. I am going to give you a homework assignment for the week, Alexis. This week, I want you to focus on self-pleasure. You are going to do this through masturbation. I also want you to work on developing a sexual imagination as well. Have dirty fantasies. Picture steamy scenarios with all sorts of different men other than your husband. I want you to find the fantasies that turn you on the most. Enjoy them. Have orgasms. Feel no guilt. This is all perfectly normal behavior for a married woman. Do your very best, and next week you’ll feel so excited to tell me about it. Do you understand?”

“Mhhh-hmmmm.”

The doctor tapped his smartphone several more times and resumed speaking. Alexis tried to follow his words, but she found it harder and harder to focus on what he was saying. Instead, she found her thoughts drifting more and more as the sensations of warmth and comfort emanating from the vibrating device intensified. This was really great, she decided. All of it. There was no reason to be anxious about sex therapy. She needed it, and she was so lucky to find a therapist as talented as Dr. Miller. He was such a good man. He could really help her. She just knew it.

“Alexis?” Dr. Miller asked, waving a hand in front of her face. “Alexis? Are you with me?”

“Hmm? Wha?” Alexis asked, blinking a few times. As she regained her focus, Alexis realized that she had been so comfortable that she must have drifted off while he was speaking. She blushed a deep crimson. “Oh my gosh,” she said apologetically, “I’m so sorry, Dr. Miller. I guess I must have zoned out for a second there.”

“Oh, it happens,” Dr. Miller laughed. “Here, let me take that,” he said, gesturing toward the device in her hands, which had stopped vibrating. As he took it from her and placed it in the drawer with the smartphone, he spoke once more. “Don’t be embarrassed. It’s actually fairly common while using the therapy device for the first time. The important question is, how do you feel?”

“Amazing,” Alexis smiled. “I don’t know how that thing works, but it felt like a decade of stress was lifted off my shoulders.”

“That’s fantastic,” he replied. “So, does that mean you’d be interested in setting up future sessions?”

“Absolutely,” the woman smiled.

“I’m glad to hear it,” he began. “Given your current condition, let’s see each other weekly for the time being. If this time slot works for you, you can get it scheduled at the front desk on your way out. Now,” he said, gesturing for her to stand up, “it has been so nice meeting you, and we’ll see you again next week.”

Alexis scrunched her brow. “Next week?”

“Yes,” the doctor responded. “Our session is over.”

Alexis looked at the clock hanging on the wall and her eyes went wide. Sure enough, the session was up. “Wow,” she marveled, rising to her feet. “I really did zone out there. Sorry, doc!”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” he laughed, extending his hand toward the woman. As they shook hands, the doctor spoke up once more. “Now, don’t forget your homework. That’s the most important part of this.”

“Yes, sir,” Alexis smiled, blushing slightly as she remembered what she was supposed to do. They said their goodbyes, and after stopping at the reception desk to set up her weekly sessions, Alexis strode confidently out to her car.

On the way home from her session, Alexis was acutely aware of two things. The first was that her first session with Dr. Miller was INCREDIBLE. Going to sex therapy was so much better than she’d expected. She could hardly believe she’d been so nervous about it beforehand. It was so relaxing, and Dr. Miller was amazing. He was so intelligent and skilled at what he did. He made talking about sensitive topics feel so easy. He was even a little cute, she thought with a giggle.

The second thing Alexis was aware...