One Halloween night, my new neighbor came a-knocking.

 I heard her say, “Do you want to taste some of my pumpkin soup, Peter?”

I opened the door. Gertrude promptly handed me a whole bowl and when I fished out a dripping dildo, she gave out a howl.

Gertrude looked at me with crazy eyes, “Peter, would you like some pumpkin pie for desert?”

Without a pause, she opened her dress. She was as orange as a carrot down there.

 Ninety is the new sixty I thought.

Later she said, “Peter, I knew that you would be a great pumpkin eater!”