I'm home alone, yet horny. If I was single, I would be straight down to the bar on the prowl for a quick hookup. But there is a ring on my finger, so, not an option.

I close the curtains and turn on the VPN. In the mood for the familiar, I look up Jordi, my favourite porn star. He is young and athletic and, of course, well-endowed, but he is also unfailingly respectful, and he focuses on the woman's pleasure.

I watch him undress. How many times have I seen that cock? I know every inch of his naked body. I've seen him cum in mouths, in pussies, in the open air. I've seen him approach orgasm. I know how his facial expressions change when he is close, the most open and vulnerable a man can ever be.

I feel like I know the man personally and yet, of course, it is an illusion. If I actually met him in Starbucks, the spell would probably be broken. They say you should never meet your heroes. I conclude I would meet him for an hour in the bedroom but not for dinner. My husband and I have a joke, 'Who is on your free pass list?' I could turn a blind eye to my husband straying with, what was her name, Sabrina? If, of course, I got an hour with Jordi. But I'd only want to break bread with my man.

I close my eyes and slip my fingers into my pyjama bottoms. I begin to stroke my clit gently. I need some visual stimuli, so I freeze the screen. My screen crush is on his back and getting hard as his...well, they are working so, technically, his colleague...is working his erection up with her hand. She's hot too, a twenty-something Asian with smooth black hair, which helps.

Look at that cock! It's long and hard, beautifully cut. Oh, I could just ride that til it snapped. I'm stroking with my fingers and I can feel I'm starting to wetten, but I'm going to need a dildo tonight. I pause and hurry to the toy box under the bed. There's old faithful. I keep it off, for now. I go back to diddling. I press gently at my lips with the toy while my fingers stroke inside.

Back to the movie. I watch her suck that tasty cock. I close my eyes and give my dildo a suck, but it's not the same. Too plastic. Not throbbing, the way a really hard one does. Still diddling, though, and now it's time to ramp it up. I reach down with the toy in my hand and flick it on. That's better. That's warming me up. I'm in the mood for oral tonight, so I switch toys and pull out my suction dildo, then I squeeze some lube onto my fingers...it's getting messy down there, but who cares?

He's on his feet now and entering the girl from behind, meaning I get a nice shot of those tight butt cheeks. My toy is whirring and I am much wetter now as it enlivens my clitoris. The sounds of sexual intercourse on the television mingle with the whir of the machine and the slop and squelch of my own vagina as I diddle hard, harder now as I am approaching climax.

I watch them screw. I'm half dizzy with pleasure as the vibrator stimulates my genitals. The actress is coming now. Good for her...

As I begin my orgasm, I look at Jordi standing naked and proud, receiving his reward: An enthusiastic blowjob from the woman he just made scream. I trace my vision down his thin but muscular chest, which is hairless. Then his tight stomach and...I have to rewind to see his ass...but then, at last, I focus my eyes on his cock. He's face fucking the girl basically. He is confident and not pussying around. He is in control without being overbearing. I close my eyes and I can just about believe it is his cock that is making me come, even as I see the whole naked man in my mind's eye...

Oh God! Yes! Yes! Yes!

I forget myself and scream as orgasm flowers throughout my body as if a bud grown in my vagina has bloomed.

In the last seconds of my ecstasy, I half glimpse Jordi jerking his cock hard and me and this impossible dream of a man are united across cyberspace for a split second...he cries out as semen cascades out of his cock onto her face, and that image sets me off again, as if a reset button has been pushed and my orgasm intensifies. I am flopping about the bed like a fish now. Oh God! Come inside me, Jordi! Fill me up!

I wish he could, but he cannot. The toy will keep me going for ages. But a part of me does miss the sensation of the male orgasm inside me. I wish my toy would squirt or tremble the way my man does when he comes. I shall write to the manufacturer.

When I have my breath back, I close the porn film window and enter zoom. It's time to call my husband. I hope he has had a nice day.