When you're lying awake as your butt starts to ache

And your sphincter's so sore that it makes you whine,

You deserve a rebuke for shoving that cuke

Way up there, where the sun can’t ever shine.

If you'd used a small carrot your anus could bear it

And that, I am sure, you now realize.

But up your hole narrow you inserted a marrow

Ora vegetable of some similar size.

You've yourself to blame for playing that game.

You're not used to filling that cavity.

Of holes, I've got three,that's one more than thee;

So I've more ways to practice depravity.

I find the true measure of sexual pleasure

Is how deep my holes get penetrated.

But it's always wise, when a probe's of great size,

To make sure you are well lubricated.

Your bum will get sore if you try to do more;

It's with sighs,not size, we must be generous.

But I admit when I’m hot, I shove lots up my twat

To put a smile on my shaven mons veneris.