Through droopy eyes, I saw her silhouette slink toward the jack-and-jill bathroom. Once inside, I heard the other door creek open. Oh my God, she had snuck into Travis's room!
Why was I surprised? Cursing myself for being so stupid, I pounded the mattress with my fists, a mixture of humiliation and rage welling up inside of me. Of course, popular Mindy Thompson had only befriended me to get a sleepover invite to get close to my twin brother – Mr. Basketball, Mr. Football, Mr. Everything – Travis Scott. I should have known better.
And now I have to pee … great. As I sat on my throne of despair, I heard that damned Mindy, her little cries of ‘Yes’ coming faster and faster. I finished peeing, but didn’t get up right away when I heard the bedspring squeaking. Curiosity got the best of me and I leaned to the side with my ear towards his bedroom door, straining to hear more. Suddenly the squeaking stopped and I almost fell off my throne upon hearing Mindy let out a squeal that was quite loud, then abruptly silenced by what I imagined was a pillow, or dear brother's hand.
Bitterness flooded my insides as I surmised he must be really good in bed, otherwise they wouldn't keep coming back wanting more. I angrily tore off a few squares of TP and wiped myself, but it felt different. I was still wet, and not with water. I reached up and touched a nipple and received an electric jolt from my breast that shot right to my clit. Jesus, what am I doing?
I put my hand to the toilet handle but stopped myself. If I flush, they will know I am in here, and probably listening. Shit!
I sat there for a couple minutes trying to figure out what to do when I heard it – Mindy giggling, and Travis laughing quietly. The bed was quiet, so they obviously weren’t doing it; they were just talking. And giggling. And sharing, which was worse to me than the fucking.
That used to be me. I was the one who made Travis laugh. A wave of overwhelming sadness swept over me. When was the last time we laughed together? How come I can’t even remember that?
I stood up and flushed the toilet, because fuck them!
The next day, Mindy left and I never spoke to her again. And my next hair color was alien green. I couldn't compete with Travis, so I decided to become too different to compare.
"Christ!" He shook his head rapidly back and forth as I walked out the front door. "Why?" he continued, with eyeballs bugging.
"Why what?"
"Why did you add that pukey color to your hair?"
"What difference does it make?"
"What you choose to do doesn't just affect you, you know! Christ!"
"I don't see how my hair color affects you."
"You dress all bag-lady-like, color your hair weird colors, act all dark and depressed all the time at school and don't think that affects me. Christ, you're selfish!"
Trying to act indifferent to his tirade, I strode past him and slid into the passenger side of the car we shared, a joint sixteenth birthday present from Mom and Dad last month. It may as well have been given solely to him though, as I never went anywhere in it except to school and back. We didn't talk on the car ride to school, but that's the thing about us being twins – we didn't need words. One look at him and I knew what he was thinking.
Later that night, upon hearing Dad's booming voice, I crept down the stairs to find out what the fuss was about. I heard him directing his anger at Travis, which was unusual. The golden boy rarely got into trouble.
"Just listen, Dad!"
"Nothing that boy said is worth you risking your spot on the team, Travis! Walk away from it!"
Mom interjected with her voice quivering. "Are you hurt? Did you hurt him?"
"No! I just shoved him against the locker to shut him up and a crowd gathered and Mr. Jenkins blew it all out of proportion. I didn't even hit him!"
"I wanna know what he said."
There was silence for a few moments, then Travis answered with a lowered voice. "It was about Tara. He was making fun of Tara."
Tears stung my eyes and I rushed back upstairs, not wanting to hear any more. I wasn't even sure why I was crying. It's not like I didn't know guys made fun of me. But, hearing Travis defended me … well … it hit me funny.
When he slammed his bedroom door shut, I knew he and Dad were done talking. I walked into our shared bathroom, then knocked on the door to his room.
“What?”
I slowly opened the door and walked over and plopped down at his desk. He lay on his back, spinning a football in his hands repeatedly.
“In case you didn’t notice, sweet sister, I didn’t say ‘come in’.”
“I heard you say someone was making fun of me, that’s why you got in trouble.”
“Yeah, well … don’t worry about it.” He stopped spinning the ball. He still hadn't looked at me. “I did tell you, though, that green hair is bullshit and it affects more than just you.” He started spinning the ball again.
“How much trouble are you in?”
“I gotta do ten hours of Spirit Service next month. Ten. Fucking. Hours.”
I went over and took the football from him. Now he looks at me. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? It isn’t permanent; I’ll wash it out tonight. But …” And I paused awkwardly, not knowing what to say. I took a breath and found my voice. “Thank you. It … means a lot.” I handed him back his ball, which he promptly started spinning again.
I headed back to the bathroom so I could get to my room, ending the awkward situation. But he spoke just as I opened the door.
“Forget about it. And don’t wash your hair. You should, you know, do you. Like, be whoever you want. Besides,” he said as he stopped spinning his ball and looked over at me. “You look kinda hot.”
I turned my back to him before he could see the smile cross my face, then walked out the door.
~ooOoo~
It was Friday night and our parents were going away for the weekend to celebrate their anniversary. Dad lifted the suitcases and headed towards the door while Mom rattled off her list of what-not-to-dos for the zillionth time, ending with, "No friends over, Travis!" Then thoughtfully added, "Or you either, Tara!"
I managed to stifle my amused laugh, as everyone knew I had no friends to invite. Mom, bless her fair-minded soul, had always tried so hard to keep everything "Even Steven" between me and Travis, despite our obvious differences.
Travis headed for the family room as soon as the door shut, but I stared out the window, watched them drive away, and felt a sudden, forgotten rush of excitement. Memories of a few years back flooded my mind, remembering how Travis and I loved it when they went out for the night and we had the house to ourselves. We'd order pizza and binge horror movies (that Mom hated us watching). My eyes fogged with tears as I ached for that closeness we once shared.
Those memories kept me from retreating upstairs to my room and I wandered into the family room, standing in the doorway until he noticed me.
"Well, look who it is making a rare appearance from her dark lair of solitude. I didn't figure I'd see you again until Sunday."
I ignored his sarcasm and silently moved towards him then shoved his big feet off the couch so I could sit down. He eyed me with furrowed brows, no doubt surprised by my approach.
You could cut the awkward silence with a lightsaber, so I decided to speak. "The original Star Wars trilogy is on Channel 10."
He sat upright, turned towards me, and narrowed his eyes. "So what, I thought you hated those?"
"Not really. I just told Dad that because I was tired of hearing him go on and on about how much better movies were when he was growing up." I glanced at Travis and we both laughed, silently agreeing Dad annoyed us in that same way.
Awkward silence passed again. So uncomfortable. I never used to be uncomfortable around him.
"Sis?" He thankfully broke the silence first.
"Yeah?" We locked eyes and I saw my sadness reflected back in his eyes.
"What happened to us? We used to be inseparable, spoke our own language and all that."
"You found sports."
"Is that when it started? I mean Mom grew worried about us and started pushing us to branch out separately and stuff, so I did."
"I know. You branched out and I didn't know how without you by my side." Funny how easily those words came pouring out my mouth. Words I'd kept locked inside for the last several years.
"I was … we were nine when she made me go out for Pop Warner football. I didn’t want to. But I ended up being good at it.”
“You ended up being amazing, you goof.”
“How would you know? You never go to my games now.”
“I’ve been to most of them, I just … well, I hide in the upper corners of the stands.”
He smiled at me and it gave me the courage to approach an embarrassing subject with him.
"So, you like it?"
"Like what?"
"You know … sex with all those bimbos."
He laughed out loud. "Wow, way to change the subject, sis!" He playfully kicked me with one of his big feet I'd shoved off the couch. "Well, of course, I like sex." His smile faded, "But not so much the bimbos if I'm honest."
"Then why do it?"
"Well … it feels good, I guess. And they are offering it." He raked his hand through his chestnut hair and loudly sighed. "Geez, Tara, what's with the third degree on sex?"
I blushed in discomfort, but pressed on. After all, if I couldn't ask him, who could I ask? "What … what does it feel like?"
He intently stared at me, started to speak a few times, yet said nothing. Tears clouded my eyes, then dripped down my cheeks, prompting him to finally say something. "You've never done anything with a guy, have you?"
I didn't answer his question, but my tears continued, hitting home that sex was just one more thing he'd moved on to experience while I'd been left behind. Surprisingly, he reached over and patted my shoulder – our first physical touch in I don't know how long. I softly moaned from the joy of his touch and covered his hand with mine. After a few minutes, he got up and went to the wall of family photos near the fireplace. It only took him a moment to find the picture that I knew he was looking for. He took it off the wall and stared at it for almost a minute before he spoke.
“Remember this? Remember doing this? We used to do it every day.”
The picture was of the two of us, at about nine years old, standing very close and facing each other. We had our hands on each other’s shoulders and our heads bent forward so that our foreheads touched.
“Yes,” I said quietly. “I remember that. I miss it so much.”
He hung it back on the wall, making sure it was straight. “We should do it now.”
Whoa! “Really? You mean it?”
“Yeah, Mom’s not here to tell us to stop. Let’s try it.”
I couldn’t believe it, we were going to do this! The picture showed us in a close pose, but it was much more than that, much more. When the two of us were like that, we … communicated … with each other on a level that I came to realize no one else ever experienced. And I missed it so much.
“Come here, I won’t hurt you.”
I smiled and awkwardly made my way to face him. But he was several inches taller than me now, unlike back then. He held up his finger, then flew to Dad’s office. He came back in under a minute with two reams of printer paper, still in their wrappers.
“This will do it. Stand on this stack of paper and lean forward.”
After stepping onto the Travis-made step stool, I was happy we were the same height, or close enough. We put our hands on each other's shoulders and I closed my eyes … and … nothing happened. I exhaled and waited, listening to him breathe, calming myself down … feeling his closeness … his hands … and still nothing, until … he made the Us sound.
To an observer, it sounded like we were just randomly humming quietly. But we were communicating. I hummed Us back to him … and I felt him. You see, Us meant so much more than the spoken word. This was our womb language, our earliest memories, our primal feelings … something that’s almost impossible to describe to a non-twin. Us also meant warmth, peace, comfort, and … love.
We hummed of joy at being together again, of sadness at being apart, and of happiness and pride in each other. The closeness, the incredible intimacy was almost too much to bear. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I felt waves of love and compassion coming from him, and I returned them and I know he felt them come back … and … we made new sounds that we didn’t have before. New sounds that we shouldn’t have now.
Our foreheads moved in complete synchrony, slowly turning from side to side while still pressed together. Were we even humming anymore? I know I was so awash in our primal thoughts that I didn’t even notice we had tilted our heads slightly such that our noses touched. And without a word both sets of our hands encircled the other at the same time, our bodies slowly enjoining from top to bottom.
Us.
Our lips touched. We hadn't planned the kiss, it just organically happened and felt like the most intimate thing I'd ever experienced. His tongue easily slid into my mouth exploring, tasting, then my tongue reciprocated. Our humming to each other was now accompanied by tactile sensations and vibrations. This was so much better than just putting our foreheads together.
Us.
The nearest English word I can assign our new sound is Desire. I poured my Desire hums to him and they came back instantly but about ten times stronger. I couldn’t have him beating me by ten, so I cranked mine up to match his.
Us … Desire … Us … Now
Again in harmony, we opened our eyes and, without breaking the spell, quickly shed our clothing. We embraced again, our naked bodies touching for the first time. Home.
With my blue eyes locked onto his matching pair, Travis effortlessly picked me up and carried me upstairs, stopping at the linen closet so I could pull out one of the old dark brown towels we don’t use anymore. He didn’t tell me to do it, I just knew what he had in mind. He walked us past his room, knowing that I would be more comfortable in mine.
We turned down my bed and I lay on the towel with my legs open. He settled in on top of me.
Desire Desire Now NOW!
Our need to become a true Us knew no bounds. As we kissed passionately, he pressed his raging cock right on my pussy and it easily slipped in between my wet outer lips. He slid it up and down several times, lubing his cock in all my juices. My slight concerns of Fear were overwhelmed by his Love murmurs.
His cock settled at the opening of my vagina, Desire wafting over both of us. My quick PAIN diminished quickly under his barrage of Love and Compassion … and after a few moments it became Us … and it was the sweetest Us either of us ever vocalized. Our legs entwined and our arms wrapped around each other, we were as Us as we could ever be. Our bodies fully enjoined, the flow of love and tenderness between us was beyond my wildest imagination.
I was not only hyper aware of his body, but also my own. I realized that my period ended two days ago and I wouldn’t ovulate for another seven days. So, for the first time in the last thirty minutes, I spoke; there were some concepts that our womb language just couldn’t conceive,
“Fuck me! And give me your cum, I need it inside me.”
His Desire-ous grunts accompanied his hard thrusts as he fucked me hard, his teenage hormones hitting their stride. My bed shook as the headboard banged against the wall, which made me giggle at the thought of it being my room, not his, the source of all the sex noises.
Travis laughed also as he fucked me. We always used to laugh at each other’s jokes; spoken or not. But then Desire thoughts kicked in hard and flooded both of us. We were each nearing our orgasms and we held each other as tight as we possibly could. We could each feel the other’s climb, and we adjusted if one of us got ahead or fell behind. But they were just minor alterations as we neared the zenith of our love-making.
Travis’s thoughts and hums went berserk as his cock trembled. Fireworks exploded in my brain, my pussy, and my clit. To feel his hot sperm shooting inside my body was too much … and I blacked out for a few seconds … and came back to Earth to find Travis kissing me gently and passionately as my tremors slowly subsided. His hand played with my hair, paying particular attention to my alien green tendrils...
