Part 2
I had that awful, fleeting panic when you wake up in a strange room and don’t know where you are. It was pitch black too, which didn’t help. I tapped my phone until it lit up and told me it was nearly half-past eight in the evening. I was desperate for a pee and feeling rested and somewhat better, I ventured to the bathroom by myself. The girls would tell me off if they knew I was up and about like this so I tried to be as quiet as possible. I put my dressing gown on and slowly opened the door, which creaked loudly. I could hear Isla and Ava talking downstairs but didn’t stop to listen as my call of nature was rather urgent.
On the way back, I stopped at the top of the stairs and eavesdropped as best I could. I could only hear small snippets of the conversation, which appeared to be quite heated.
“For fuck's sake, is that what…”
“You know it’s not like that.”
“But what’s the difference?”
“NO!”
“You're being unreasonable.”
“ME? WHAT ABOUT YOU?”
It was so frustrating to only get fragments of the conversation. I could guess what it was about, though. That last bit was shouted by Isla, then it went quiet. I went back to bed and read a book to distract myself but quickly fell asleep. I woke up later on and once again scared the shit out of myself, not knowing where I was. My phone said it was eleven forty-five. At some point, one of the girls must have come in to see me, the lamp had been switched off and the book I was reading was on the bedside table. I had a terrible thirst so I went to the bathroom to get some water. I didn’t want to wake the girls up so didn’t switch any of the lights on. I felt my way to the bathroom, filled the glass and headed back.
I opened the bedroom door and stood staring, not quite sure what was happening.
“JESUS JIM. You scared the shit out of me. Er…a little privacy please?” said Isla.
“What? Oh, er yeah, um. Shit. Sorry. I opened the wrong door and…”
“Jim. Fuck off, NOW,” said Ava.
I retreated to my room and tried to comprehend what I had seen.
In the pitch black, I’d gone to the wrong bedroom, inside it was dimly lit by a single candle flickering on the mantlepiece. Isla and Ava were on the bed, naked, making love. To be precise they were right in the middle of a sixty-nine. Isla was on top, facing the door and looked up at me when I came in, then Ava poked her head out from underneath her to yell at me.
Okay, so my twin sisters were having sex. I suppose I should be angry? Or maybe I should feel disgusted? No, this is my sisters we’re talking about, I couldn’t be angry or disgusted with them if I tried. But you could definitely say I was shocked.
There was no way I’d go back to sleep now and being cooped up in my room was driving me mental so instead of getting into bed, I hobbled out onto the landing. At the top of the stairs, I sat on my bum and held the rail with both hands, then lowered myself down one step at a time. I heard a door open, then Isla appeared at the top of the stairs.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going downstairs.”
“I can see that. Why?”
“I want a drink.”
“You should have said. I’ll get it for you.”
“You were a bit busy.”
“Yeah, about that, can we talk?”
“Isla, right now I’m busy trying not to break my neck on the world's steepest staircase. Can we do this at the bottom, please?”
“Oh, shit, yeah, right. Erm, here let me…”
“No, I’m okay, I’m almost there now.”
I reached the bottom in one piece and went into the living room and plonked myself on the sofa. The embers in the fireplace were still glowing a dull orange colour. Isla put a handful of kindling on top and blew on it, a second later it caught and she put a couple of logs on.
“What do you want to drink?”
“Whiskey.”
“Very funny, no alco…”
I pushed on the sofa and moved to the edge to get up.
“Where are you going now?”
“To get a whiskey.”
“But you can’t…”
“Really? You’re going to tell me what I shouldn’t be doing? I’m getting a fucking whiskey, Isla.”
“Okay, you win. Sit. I’ll get it.”
“Whiskey sounds like a good idea to me,” said Ava, who’d appeared in the doorway. “May I?” she asked, gesturing to the sofa.
“Sure.”
“Jim…”
“Ava. Whiskey first, then we talk.”
Isla came back in with three small glasses, each with a large measure in them. The three of us had picked up our father’s love of the stuff. He has quite a collection of rare whiskeys but there’s one special bottle we’re supposed to open at his funeral. They’re only in their forties and they’ve both organised and set money aside for their funerals already. I told you my parents had their shit together. This wasn’t one of the special bottles we were drinking tonight, it was still a very nice single malt though.
Isla sat on the other side of Ava and they both just stared at me.
“What?”
“We’re waiting for you,” said Ava.
“For me to do what?”
“You said we could talk when you had a drink.”
“I’m not sure what to say. I mean, there’s no point asking what you were doing, that’s kind of obvious. There’s no point in me highlighting the fact it’s illegal, I’m sure you already know that. I’ve got a million questions and now I can’t think of one.”
“This must be a lot to take in,” offered Isla.
“Just a bit. How long has this been going on?”
“Good question. I’m not sure really, we’ve always been close, I suppose.”
“Isla stop being coy. We’ve been lovers in a formal sense since about the time we left for Uni. But in terms of when we were first intimate? Your guess is as good as mine.”
“So you're lovers then?”
“Given what you just saw, I’d say that was obvious,” Ava rolled her eyes at me, which drew Isla to scowl at her.
“No, I mean, is this just something you do casually when the mood strikes or are you, you know, a couple, romantically?”
“Actually, that’s a very good question,” said Ava, who was glaring at her twin.
“Have I said something wrong?”
“No, quite the opposite. We were discussing this earlier,” said Ava, looking quite cross.
“Ava, not now.”
“Why not? We may as well get it all out in the open.”
“Ava, I don’t think…”
Then a disturbing thought came to me.
“Oh hell. Are Mum and Dad in on this as well?”
“WHAT?” said Ava, who did nothing to contain her disgust at the thought.
“Eweee, no. Gross. Fucking hell, Jim, what do you take us for?” said Isla.
“Sorry. It’s just the casual way you gave me oral sex, you made it feel quite normal.”
“Oh, she knows how to handle cock alright,” said Ava.
“Listen to the vestal virgin preaching,” Isla said, shaking her head.
“May I ask what the argument was about?”
They both looked at each other, then Ava said, “You.”
“Me? Ah, the thing in the bathroom?”
“Yes, the thing in the bathroom,” said Ava.
“I’m sorry, I…”
“Jim, it’s not your fault, we’re not blaming you at all,” Ava added quickly.
“It’s my fault,” said Isla, “I should have asked Ava first, it’s just that we’re normally so…”
She paused and looked at Ava. They’ve got this mental ESP connection type thing going on. It sometimes looks like they have whole conversations without talking. Isla then carried on.
“…you promise you won’t think badly of us?”
“I promise.”
“Ava and I recently committed to each other.”
Both girls held out their hands, each had matching silver rings on their rings on the second finger of their right hands. They both often wear jewellery so I never made the connection.
“Hey, congratulations!”
“Oh, please, save it,” said Ava.
“Save what? I’m serious. Two people I love and care about more than anyone in the world are happy and in love.”
Ava didn’t look convinced but my reaction was a natural and honest one. To be fair, I did surprise myself. Perhaps the whiskey and drugs were chilling me out.
“Anyway,” continued Isla as Ava downed the last of her whiskey, “Ava and I have progressive and free-spirited views on love. We think that society…”
“Jesus Christ, are you trying to bore him to death?”
“Fine, you tell him,” Isla folded her arms and pouted.
“Jim, what Isla is trying to tell you is that we’re a pair of horny sluts who, until recently, were having crazy amounts of sex. We go to a swinger’s club and have orgies and…”
“Okay, Ava…he gets the idea, no more oversharing, please.”
“Oversharing? You sucked our brother’s cock and didn’t even speak to me first! How's that for oversharing?”
“Not this again. I’ve told you a hundred times, it was a spur-of-the-moment thing. I thought you’d be alright about it. He is our brother, after all.”
“Isla all I’m saying is that you should have spoken to me first.”
“Ava, you’re making a big deal out of this again.”
“Am I? So our commitment is not a big deal then?”
“That’s not fair, of course it’s a big deal. You mean everything to me, you know that.”
