This one's 100% real, with only the names being changed!
There are two parts, the first time, er, attempt, and the second!~
Part ONE!
We enter my apartment, and things are going quite well! We're on our fourth date, and well, I LIKE him! Warren has successfully charmed me with his wit, his smile, his kindness, and his not inconsiderate dancing skills. His kissing skills are certainly not lacking as our last date proved, and it was mighty hard to focus on waiting until this date to go farther!
We enter, and neither of us has had anything to to drink, because he's driving and I want to be sharp.
"Can I pour you a glass of wine, or something else? Although I'm not sure what else might be other than Diet Coke."
"What do you have for wine?" he says in his most seductive voice.
"I've got two different Reislings, a Gewürtztraminer, a Merlot and a very good Chardonnay." I pray he doesn't mock me for my stuff, I know he knows the good ones.
"I'll have the Gewürtztraminer, you rarely see it at restaurants, but I like it." Be still my beating heart, he likes my favorite wines? Yow!
I pour a pair of glasses and hand it to him. He sips and smiles.
"It's, uh, the cheap stuff, but I like it." Why am I so damn nervous???
"It's fine, just fine, like...you. You're quite fine yourself." His voice is dripping seduction, and I realize he's exactly on the same page I am. Tonight is THE night.
I try to be cool. "You're just saying that."
"No, I told you I'm quite honest. I think you're really quite beautiful."
With that he puts down his wine and kisses me deeply. I fumble behind me to put mine down and kiss back for all I'm worth. This guy has me going like never before. He's making me feel like I'm sixteen again, awkward and geeky, and the butterflies are huge, isn't that what real love is supposed to feel like?
He's very much a gentleman, as he's happy with his arms around my waist, so I pull them towards my butt, go for it, handsome, I'm ready and more than willing! He pulls back and gives me his very boyish grin which makes him look much younger than his thirty eight years, and gently squeezes my butt as he lifts me into his arms. I wrap my arms tight about him and kiss him with everything I've got, but he's not going anywhere.
Shit! He doesn't know where my bedroom is! I unwrap one arm because I don't want to let him go for a second and point down the hall, and mumble out "last door!". He carries me slowly and I am loving every second of it. I know my room is tidy, there's numerous candles for this evening, I've got some nice tunes on my little CD player and all I need is this gorgeous man! He slips open the door smoothly, carries me in and lays me down on my bed. I push him backwards and take the lead, holding his face as I explore his mouth with my tongue, and he explores mine as well.
He took off his jacket upon entering, but I still have my wrap and shoes on, and I've got get rid of them. Time for a brief, ever so brief break in the action! I pull back and put my finger across his lips.
"Hold on right there, mister. You...are really doing a number on me, but I have to get out of this wrap and these shoes, so let me up for a moment."
He smiles. "Of course, I want you to />
Okay. I just wet my panties. I planned ahead though, there is a very sexy outfit in my bathroom, and a supply of other things.
"Give me...a few moments.....and I'll change into something The other bathroom is the second door, and you might want to get...quite comfortable yourself. if you know what I mean." I give him my most seductive look, and I pray he doesn't think I look like an idiot. Why is THIS guy making it so hard to think?? I dart into my bathroom and shut the door, but call back to him. "You might want to light a few candles, there's plenty of them."
"I'll....do that."
It doesn't take me too long to get out of my clothes and into my nightgown, it's a fairly short one, white silk, and I think it shows off my legs at their best, while covering up the fact that my B-cups are never going to get me a job at Hooter's. (No, I KNOW this, I applied in college and got turned down) I play with my hair a bit, and the usual bits that never stay in place aren't staying, and a few others have joined them! Can't the hair goddess cut me some slack? I have a major hunk in my bedroom! Let me tidy up the uh, wetness that he's already inspired, and I'm ready to make his dreams come true.
"You ready for me, handsome?" I call out.
"Oh...yes." Whoops, this man is going to cost me a fortune in underwear if we stay together!
"Ready or not, here I come."
I walk out and he has lit several candles, and he's down to his boxers and he's sporting a very visible erection. My god, do I turn him on as much as he does me? Janet, my girl, this might be the real thing!
"Uh, how do I look?"
"Amazing." he says with a raised eyebrow. "Incredibly beautiful."
Do I walk slowly? Do I run? I am sooooo nervous now! I have an idea! I take a few slow steps, run the last two and leap playfully into bed! Time stands still or moves at an incredibly slow rate, as I fly through the air, his eyes open wide as he does not expect this, he rolls to one side, but my foot hits the edge of the bed and I twist in mid air, and land heavily on top of him. Too heavily as he lets out a grunt of agony!
I roll away in panic, as I realize my knee has hit him squarely in his testicles! Oh my god! What have I done? He is blanched white with pain as he clutches himself and groans.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do that! It was accident, I swear, are you okay?"
He looks at me with some anger, but I can see him wrestle with himself inside.
"No...I'm NOT okay, it hurts like hell! Why the HELL did you.....no, I'm sorry, it just...hurts....but I'll be....all right. Do you have a cold, wet towel?" he grits each word out in agony. I leap out of bed to get him what he needs. I frantically grab my really nice bathroom towel, but wrecking a decorative towel is a small price to pay for my stupidity. I soak it, and run back in and hand it to him. He applies it to his wounded dignity and lets out a sigh of relief.
"I am so, so, so, so, very sorry Warren, that was the dumbest thing I've ever done. Do you need anything else?"
He looks at me and manages the ghost of a smile. "I....hope that's the dumbest you've ever done or will do. Do you have an ice bag?"
I flee the room in search of it. It takes but seconds to prepare, but I grab his wineglass and the bottle as I head back in.
"Here's the ice bag, and maybe the wine will help?" I ask timidly.
He looks at me and a tiny hint of his grin comes back. "It can't hurt!" He slam the rest of the glass and I hurry to pour him another, which he swigs half of in one gulp.
"Well, I've never had that happen before." he says.
"I"m pretty sure I've never DONE that before. Will you be all right? I feel horrible!"
He manages a weak chuckle. I"ll be all right. In a few hours or a day or so. I'm not going horseback riding anything soon, however."
I risk a small giggle. "No, I suppose not. I just....didn't think. I wanted to be smooth and seductive, and then I thought silly and fun."
"Do I look like I"m having fun?" he asks, but the smile is back. He finishes his glass of wine. "Come on, sit down. You don't have to stand there. I won't die. I might wish to, but I won't."
"It's not that." I say in a small voice.
"Then what is it?" he says with some concern.
"I'm afraid you'll strangle me if you get your hands on me."
He laughs out loud at that, and the motion of the laughter causes him to clutch himself anew, but he's still smiling as it subsides.
"No, I'm not gonna kill you, you'd have to do far worse. I know it was an accident, but really, I'm going to be okay. C'mon, sit down." he pats the bed next to him.
I sit down and run my fingers through his hair. "I feel like such an idiot. I've pretty much ruined the night and everything haven't I?"
He looks me in the eyes very intently. "The night? Well, I'd say the original plans for it have been changed, but ruined? Not even. Everything else ruined? Not hardly. In case you haven't noticed, I kind of think you're pretty special."
"Even if I've injured you?"
"Even if. Janet, everything else has gone perfect. I still love the way you laugh, your smile still makes me happy, your legs are still very, very nice to look at, and while this took a turn for the worse, I'm not about to hold a grudge. Not with someone who makes me...feel like I do."
Oh. My.
"So you still would...want to kiss me?"
He nods emphatically so I kiss him, but very carefully. He kisses back and our arms wrap around each other. The passion grows, but he stops suddenly.
"Don't get me wrong, this is very, very nice, but if we keep kissing, part of me is going to want to do something that another part of me isn't quite....ready for at this moment in time, if you know what I mean?" He looks at me questioningly.
"Ah I think I got that. If I get you really horny, it's going to hurt more?"
"Right! Can we keep it extremely G rated for now?" he asks with a smile.
"We can do that. Another glass of wine?" He agrees and I pour. We wind up talking for a bit, and return to the living room to watch a movie, and I pick something with no romance in it so I don't get tempted to push the issue. We laugh at the comedy, we snuggle and talk for hours after the movie. We move back to the bedroom where we talk some more and fall asleep in each other's arms.
We awaken the next morning and he says he feels better, but still not 100%. Is he just saying it to be polite? Has he realized that I"m too stupid to waste his time on? Is he going to just give up? Were his words last night just words? We say goodbye, and he says to me: "I'll call you." and my heart sinks. He's done with me. I weep as he leaves.
Part TWO!
It is 23 hours later. I have not heard from him. I try to tell myself it's the weekend, and he'd already had other plans for the day. I can't expect him to call me every hour. Part of me says he learned his lesson and a skinny psychologist with stringy hair is no real catch at all, especially if she's stupid and clumsy.