My words hung in the air for a what seemed like an eternity. I studied Lincoln’s face intently, looking for some clue as to what he was thinking. He appeared to be deep in thought, as if he was trying to decide what to say. I hadn’t realized I was holding my breath until he reached up and cupped my cheek in his hand, gently tracing patterns with his thumb.
“It’s okay, we don’t have to have sex.”
I looked up at Lincoln and bit my lower lip, “I do want to… but I don’t want to rush into it… But it’s stupid though, I don’t see virginity as some ‘sacred thing’ that I have to keep safe. But I also want to make sure I’m completely comfortable with the situation. I’m not even sure why I’ve put off doing it, I suppose I could just get it over with. But another part of me would like to have some sort of bond with my partner.”
Even as I began rambling a small part of me was internally screaming, shut the fuck up! I could feel my cheeks turning bright red as I trailed off, trying to avoid eye contact. I could feel Lincoln place a hand on my back, trying to provide some reassurance.
“Calamity… I’m fine with waiting. There’s really no pressure, hell, even if you decide you never want to sleep with me, that’s okay. You need to be comfortable with your decision.”
I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, “Thank you.”
He blushed and rubbed the back of his neck, “It’s getting late... I can head out if you want.”
The old me would’ve said good night and sent him off without a second thought, but Lincoln had awakened something in me that I really wanted to keep exploring. “You could stay here tonight. Only if you want to, though.”
***
I only had a few minutes to find something to wear to bed while Lincoln brushed his teeth. Normally I slept in the nude, but I wasn’t quite ready for anyone else to see me naked. Eyeing my options, I decided on a cropped t-shirt and a pair of small boy short panties. Even though I wasn’t quite ready to take that step, I wanted to at least push myself out of my comfort zone. Quickly changing, I checked my reflection in the mirror; the t-shirt ended just below my rib cage, keeping my small breasts covered but showing off my midriff. The panties were cut slightly low and hugged my ass nicely, and after seeing just how revealing they were I was glad I preferred to keep my pussy bare.
Having changed I went over to the bed and removed the extra pillows, trying to make sure there was plenty of room for two very tall people in the narrow single bed. I was bent over fluffing the pillows when Lincoln exited the bathroom, and I heard a sharp intake of breath.
Quickly standing up straight, I turned and smiled at him, secretly enjoying the look of desire on Lincoln’s face as he took in my long legs and bare midriff, “That’s what you wear to bed?!”
I shrugged, placing my hands on my hips, “No, I usually sleep naked, but that seemed a bit forward for tonight.”
The lustful look intensified briefly before he regained his composure and reached up to start unbuttoning his shirt, “I tend to sleep in my briefs, is that okay with you?”
My mouth went dry as I watched him ease his shirt off; lean, toned muscles rippling with every motion. Karma’s payback was a bitch. “Yeah, make yourself comfortable.”
Turning away so he couldn’t see the flush that was spreading across my face, I crawled into bed. I made sure to face the wall to avoid seeing him take his jeans off, which I was pretty sure would send me over the edge. Soon I felt Lincoln slip into bed beside me, his body heat radiating against my bare skin. Carefully I rolled over, finding myself face to face with him.
Lincoln brushed a strand of hair from my face, “Can I ask you something?”
I nodded as he wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him, “Shoot.”
A wave of arousal crashed over as he leaned close, his scruff tickling my cheek as his lips brushed my ear, “What do you want most right now, Calamity?”
My breath caught slightly, I could feel my heart start to race and butterflies fill my stomach. I thought long and hard about what I wanted, I thought back to all the times I was too shy, too reserved, too virginal, and then I realized, “I want to feel free; to feel beautiful and desired.”
Trailing kisses along my jaw, Lincoln paused, “What’s stopping you?”
***
Lincolns’ words echoed in my head for the following couple of weeks. We’d spent the majority of that night talking, getting to know each other better between stolen kisses. He’d had to return to his apartment about midday to get some work done, but we’d spoken every day since and had hung out several times, usually to watch movies, sometimes to study.
We’d fallen into a comfortable routine; he’d even met Kat (who fully approved and frequently asked me if I’d gotten laid yet) along with some of my other friends and he had begun to introduce me to his. Based on their reactions and Lincoln’s revelation at the party, I came to realize our time together mattered to him as much as it did to me.
Throughout it all though, his question haunted me; I wanted to try something new, I wanted to overcome my self-afflicted insecurities. But how?
One day, about two weeks after that late-night conversation, I found myself killing time between classes in the student union, browsing the bulletin boards out of boredom. Scanning the ads seeking drummers, test subjects and non-smoking roommates, I noticed a flyer.
Models Wanted.
Well, that’s certainly one way to get myself out there.
*
After contacting the instructor and discussing the details, I found myself agreeing to work as a model for one of the advanced painting courses. I was upfront about my concerns, and the instructor reassured me it was a very supportive, professional environment. If needed I could pose with draped fabric or in poses that provided some modesty. The option to drop the gig was also always on the table, which made me feel even better.
A week later I found myself in the changing room adjacent to the studio. I felt oddly at ease with what I was about to do. I stripped out of my jeans and sweater, kicking my boots and socks off. Soon I stood in just my bikini briefs, the last scrap of fabric before I was completely nude. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, reminding myself I could always opt out after this session if I really hated it. Slipping off my panties, I placed my clothes in a pile and put on the robe the instructor had left for me.
I could hear students enter the studio, chatting casually and setting up their equipment. Not thinking much of it, I sat down and waited for the instructor to call me in. I checked my phone quickly, noticing a text from Lincoln.
I’m finished at 5 today, would you be interested in getting dinner after?
I smiled, reveling in the notion that someone like him was interested in someone like me. I could hear the instructor delivering her introductory lecture as I quickly typed back, I’d really like that. I should be wrapped up with this project around 5, too.
I hadn’t told him about this modelling thing yet, I figured I would once I knew whether or not I was going to continue with it.
I slipped my phone into my backpack as I heard my name get called. Standing, I check the sash on my robe before I entered the studio. I didn’t bother to look closely at the students as I made my way up to the small platform; a reclining couch ready for me to assume the agreed upon pose. I paused as I stepped onto the platform, turning as the instructor continued to explain the assigned pose. My eyes swept across the small group of 6 students, freezing on one in particular.
Lincoln.
To be continued…
