"Unlisted?" Under the red and green dildo-decorated banner welcoming guests to the annual Pixie-Bob Holiday fiesta, Abbey looked at her buzzing phone. She sent the call to voicemail.

"Over here, Abbey!"

Across the hotel ballroom, a brown arm waved in the crowd, attached to a short person whose head was obscured by the average size partygoers around her.

Abbey headed for the arm. She nudged past a buff firefighter with an impressive hose, a jovial vampire with a talented tongue, and an attentive doctor who was sharing her tactile bedside manner with her ghostly comrade.

Hayes put down her hand and gave Abbey a hug. "You made it! What is this?" Hayes questioned the feline-printed flannel ensemble on display.

Abbey gestured to the fuzzy accessories mounted on her head, nose, and bottom. "Cat. Pajamas."

"Who says that? How old are you?" Hayes asked, sporting a United States women's national soccer team jersey.

"How old are you?" Abbey countered. Her phone buzzed in her pocket again. The screen showed a text from an unlisted number. Probably work related, but she was off the clock for the night.

"36," Hayes stated unapologetically.

"I'm 47 if that does anything for you." A slender woman, who towered over Hayes's zaftig yet petite form, joined their duo.

"Abbey, you've met my girlfriend Glimmer before?"

"I have not." Abbey shook her hand. "Where has Hayes been hiding you?"

"At the bank, an industry more boring than yours," Glimmer told Abbey. "I have heard all about you. I can't imagine a better business partner for my partner." She covered Hayes’s face with a deluge of smooches. “According to her, you’re famous.”

“Infamous,” Hayes corrected. “Notorious, even.”

Abbey dismissed the approbation. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

“Didn’t I read in one of those online tabloids that you were, quote, ‘a millionaire who provides professional suitors for the neglected wives of billionaires’? Agitating dudes in the upper echelons of the old boys’ club will generate some haters,” Hayes portended.

“I have had some passive-aggressive run-ins with husbands who were grumpy about played at their own game,” Abbey disclosed. “But ultimately, they were harmless. I’m guessing that as the owner of an adult novelty company, you don’t encounter many adversaries.”

Hayes simpered, “Mostly written adulations from satisfied customers.”   

Glimmer noticed Abbey's ears, whiskers, and tail. "The cat's pajamas, awesome!"

"Thanks! Maybe I'm the only one who doesn't understand, but what is your costume supposed to represent, Glimmer?" Abbey observed her matching brown shirt and pants, with a plastic bikini top. "A hula dancer with a grass skirt on her head?"

"Did the dancer get drunk on poi?" Hayes proposed.

"I am a palm tree."

"Because you're tall? Way to play to your stereotype," Hayes scoffed.

"Stereotype? Look who's talking, professional women's athlete," Glimmer retorted.

Hayes poked her girlfriend's chest. "What's up with the bra on the outside of your clothes. Trees don't wear underwear."

"They are coconuts!"

"You both look great, albeit not that scary," Abbey attempted to pacify.

"It's a Spooky Christmas celebration," Hayes said.

"In November," Glimmer said.

"Mariah said we can start our Joyeux Noël now," Hayes replied. "Plus, Halloween paraphernalia is 50% off. And I'm not forcing my employees to celebrate Thanksgiving."

"The most terrifying holiday of them all," Glimmer said.

"I love it." Abbey glanced around the strategically lit room, decorated as a haunted gingerbread house. One corner was inhabited by Santa and her bare-chested, male model elves, distributing Pixie-Bob stocking stuffer toys to any guest who sat on her lap. On the opposite side of the party, Hansel and Gretel lured trick-or-treaters into their witch's lair with king size candy bars and samosas.

"Where's Jed tonight?" Hayes inquired. "I thought your betrothed had completed the move, Oakland forever and whatnot."

Abbey pouted. "He's stuck in D.C. This transition is taking forever, with so many moving parts that I can’t keep track of. He had planned to be here as the dog's pajamas, but he needed to wrap up loose ends with a client before a special election." Her pocket buzzed again. Another unlisted text. This time, she read both of them: "I can't stand any more cheese. Give it to me straight."

"What?" Abbey demanded of her phone.

"Problem?" Hayes asked.

Abbey tucked her device away. "Wrong number."

"I hate when that happens," Glimmer murmured with a yawn.

“Long day?” Abbey said.

“I got out of bed way too early this morning, but I am here to party. It’s Friday!” Glimmer pumped her fist in the air.

Past the buffet tables in the middle of the festivities, Abbey noticed a queue of guests trickling through a door framed by two guards. "Where are they going?"

Hayes looked in the direction of the activity. "We have a product demonstration every hour on the hour. The next one starts in a few minutes, if you want to go. It's the Pixie-Bob Tallulah."

"I've never seen any of the shows before, have you?" Glimmer asked Abbey.

"I haven't seen the Tallulah yet," Abbey said.

"Strap it on, and it does the work for you." Hayes herded them towards the line. The guard on the left pulled back a curtain for the trio to walk through a cloaked entrance.

Once they emerged from the tunnel, through another set of velour curtains, Hayes showed them to her reserved table, elevated off the left of the stage.

Glimmer peered at the intimate, yet growing crowd congregating in the center of the standing-room only floor. "Shouldn't we find a place down in front so we can see up close?"

Hayes sat down in her seat and motioned toward the front row. "Splash zone."

"Oop." Glimmer gasped and sat next to her.

Abbey took a gander at the stage, which contained a single, black sofa bathed in a warm spotlight.

Hayes pointed at the cushions. “Waterproof.”

Abbey nodded. “Good to know.”

"Isn't that Will?" Hayes looked at the open backstage door a few feet away from their table. 

“Who’s Will?” Glimmer tightened her coconut strings.

“Abbey’s favorite employee.” 

“Technically, Will and I will be collaborating on a joint venture soon, so he won’t be working for me much longer. He will be working with me.” Abbey followed her gaze and squinted. "Apparently it is him." She saw that Will was dressed as a Ghostbuster, an outfit which unfortunately masked his muscular body with a shapeless beige jumpsuit and workboots. He was conversing intimately with a compact yet curvaceous, scantily-clad genie wearing an electric blue sequined bra, a minuscule thong under diaphanous pants, and a long, black ponytail braided from the top of her head.

Will felt Abbey's eyes boring into him. He gave her a small wave.

She waved back.

"Brielle said she was bringing a date," Hayes said.

"A date." Abbey pretended to be cool with the situation. Her phone buzzed again. “I just want to talk to you.”

A voice on the speakers announced, “Please welcome Brielle and the Pixie-Bob Tallulah.”

“She’s the entertainment?” Glimmer watched Will help Brielle climb the stairs as the audience applauded warmly. While Will found a space on the wall to lean against, Brielle made her way to the spotlight, holding a small, cardboard box. Once she was seated, she said hello to the quiet crowd, unsealed the carton, and retrieved a violet, double-headed device connected to a black harness, a remote, and a plastic bottle.

“Brielle is quite talented,” Hayes assured, as an instrumental pop song played on the speakers.

Abbey scrutinized Will as his enamored gaze remained on the stage.

“Should I take off these pants?” Brielle petitioned the audience.

They cheered.

She removed the sheer material along with her gold sandals. “What about my panties?”

The audience cheered louder.

“All right, all right,” Brielle laughed. She stepped out of her thong, took off her genie hat and scarf, and placed the items on top of her folded pants on the floor. Wearing only her sparkly bra, Brielle made herself comfortable on the sofa, her trimmed mound exposed for all to see. She explained the details of the Tallulah, a remote controlled, double penetration vibrator.

“Who is ready to see the Tallulah in action?” Brielle called out.

Abbey saw dozens of hands fly in the air, including Glimmer’s.

Brielle opened the bottle. “First, plenty of lube.” The gooey liquid drizzled down the purple silicone.

Abbey watched Brielle bend her knees and set her bare feet on the edge of the sofa. With her thick brown thighs spread wide, Brielle eased the longer prong of the modern gadget inside her dark pussy lips and the shorter prong into her lower hole. Then she fastened the harness around her hips.

She showed the audience how to use the buttons on the remote to switch the device to different settings. “Eep!” Brielle yelped. “That level is strong.”

The crowd chuckled along with her.

“My favorite speed,” Brielle clicked the remote, “is medium in the front, low in the back.” The apparatus gyrated between her thighs. She massaged her knees and closed her eyes. “You can set it, and forget it. Well, not forget.” Her slit began to ooze with her lady cum, droplets trickling through her fuzzy bush onto the cushion. “The Tallulah is hard to ignore. Yet she is so quiet. Listen.”

A hush fell over the crowd. The vibrations of the toy were barely audible. However, Brielle’s sighs were increasing. Her ample buttocks rotated, enhancing her pleasure. 

As Brielle moaned, Abbey noticed multiple heated party guests trying to contain themselves as the performance heightened. A bearded merman adjusted his trident. A pair of skeletons rubbed each other’s aching bones. A busty referee with a whistle lodged in her cleavage slid her fingers down the front of her hot pants.  

“I’m getting close, y’all,” Brielle uttered as she lay back, her left leg perched on the back of the couch, her right toes dangling near the stage floor. Her long braid curled under her neck. She grasped for the remote. “You want me to turn it up?”

The crowd roared with a unanimous, “Yes!”

Brielle pressed a button. The buzz from Tallulah intensified, which subsequently magnified the deep breathing from the onlookers. 

Abbey peeked at the guests with the busy digits. By now, the merman’s trident was at full mast, the skeletons’ boners were no longer concealed, and the referee’s whistle was bouncing on her breasts as she furiously fingered her quim. And was that knight’s uncircumsized sword dripping with precum?

Brielle squirmed on the stage. “So close. Are y’all ready?”

“Yes!”

Brielle’s hips bucked against the air. “Three… two…” The liquid sprayed from between her legs like a lawn sprinkler, squirting the stage and misting the front row of delighted viewers.

Brielle wails eventually subsided into faint exhales. She sprawled out on the cushions with a satiated grin. She growled, “Are you entertained?

Abbey watched Will join in with the rest of the already standing audience in a spirited ovation for Brielle, hooting and whistling for his date.

“That was amazing,” Glimmer remarked, leaping to her feet.

Abbey’s pocket buzzed. It was a series of texts from the same mysterious source.

"I can't wait to see you."

"Finally we can be together."

"You deserve my undivided attention."

Hayes noticed Abbey’s discomfort. She held her shoulder. “What’s going on?”

Abbey shuddered as she showed Hayes the screen. “I don’t know who this is.”

“Could it be one of your previous antagonists?” Glimmer pondered. “Turned stalker?”

“Did you ask them?” Hayes typed into the glowing keyboard, “Who is this?”

Glimmer loomed over their shoulders as they waited for a response. 

Hayes read the reply. “‘You are so silly, darling. I am coming for you. Soon our hearts will beat as one, kitty cat.’ Who calls you kitty cat?”

Abbey scanned the room, hoping to identify a suspect. “How did they know? Are they here right now, looking at me in my costume?”

As Will checked his phone and headed backstage, he was distracted by the commotion at Hayes’s table.

“We should call the police on this creep,” Glimmer said.

“You know the cops won’t do anything,” Hayes asserted. 

Abbey trembled. “I don’t know what to do. I should go home, but I don’t want anyone following me to my car.” 

Hayes held onto Abbey’s sweaty palms. “Let me handle this.” She looked at Glimmer. “We got you.”

Abbey allowed the pair to escort her out of the area with the help of Hayes’s security detail.

In the doorway, Will typed on his phone to Abbey, “You okay?”

But in a flash, she was gone.

… 

“This is a lot.” Abbey stood on her doorstep as Hayes directed two of her guards to conduct a sweep of Abbey’s condo.

“You need help, I have help,” Hayes justified with Glimmer by her side.

After a few minutes of opening cabinets and poking through closets, the first guard returned to the foyer. “All clear,” she announced.

“Thanks,” Abbey said, her chin quivering. “I’m going to sit in my bedroom with all the lights in my house turned on.”

“We should stay,” Glimmer told Hayes.

“You don’t have to,” Abbey replied, her voice wobbly, “but I wouldn’t mind.”

“Done.” Hayes requested that the guards return to their posts at the party back at the hotel. 

The three remaining women walked from the hallway into the front door of the unit and placed their jackets on the hooks. Abbey clicked the locks behind them and set the alarm.

“Make yourselves at home,” Abbey stated as she stepped out of her sneakers. “There’s food in the fridge, wine in a box.”

Glimmer sunk into the easy chair in the living room. “I’ll be distracting myself from this terror with syndicated television.” She turned on the flat screen. “Ooh, Benson and Stabler are on the case.”

Hayes joined Abbey in the kitchen. “This will all blow over. Don’t worry about it, kid.”

“Kid?” Abbey poured her business partner a glass of water. “I’m at least six years older than you.”

“In Earth time,” Hayes conceded, sipping her beverage. “But in the chronology of the universe, my soul has gained the wisdom of--"

There was a knock at the door.

Abbey wheezed. 

Hayes scanned the open concept living area for a blunt object. She settled on a rolling pin and inched toward the foyer. 

Abbey peered at Hayes who had reached the entrance but was not tall enough to see out the peephole. 

Frustrated, Hayes demanded, “Who is it?”

“Abbey?” A man’s voice called through the wood. “Are you in there?”

Abbey dashed to deactivate the alarm and twist the deadbolt. “Will?”

He jumped back at the sight of Hayes and her improvised weapon. “You left the party so quickly,” Will sputtered from the Welcome mat in the hall, “and you didn’t answer your phone. What is happening?”

Abbey guided him to the granite island. “Here’s what we know so far.”

…

As Hayes and Will noshed on tortilla chips next to the dishwasher, Abbey yanked the cat ears out of her dark tresses. “So, yeah, it could be anybody,” she admitted.

“Possibly a misunderstanding,” Will said. “They might have the wrong number, too.”

Seated on the stool next to his, Abbey crunched on her snack. “I may have freaked out for no reason. Regardless, I can’t look at this thing anymore.” She stuck her phone in a cookie jar and shoved it behind a bag of pasta wheels.

“The situation will clarify itself in the morning,” Hayes observed the coziness between the cat and the Ghostbuster. She patted Will on the shoulder and attempted to exit the domicile. “You have your trusty steed to defend your castle.” 

Abbey shook her head. “You’re not leaving are you?”

“Will, can you manage your boss for the next,” Hayes checked her watch, “eight hours until the sun comes up?”

“Sure?” Will answered dubiously.

“Great. Then, Abbey, I will see you…” Hayes remembered her girlfriend, last seen in the living room. She groaned, “Glimmer’s passed out.”

Indeed, she was snoring on the easy chair.

“It would be bad if I left her here?” Hayes asked sincerely.

“We could transfer her to the guest room,” Abbey suggested.

“She’s thin, but Glimmer’s heavier than she appears, and she sleeps like a boulder.” Hayes plucked a throw blanket from the couch and draped it over the slumbering palm tree. “I’ll take the guest room. This way?”

Abbey showed her to the adorned suite. “Everything is clean.”

Hayes gave her a salute. “Good night.” She shut the bedroom door.

Abbey turned to face Will. “And then there were two.”

“Conscripted into service,” he declared, “and at your disposal, madam. What’s next on the agenda?”

“Take off your boots.”

…

“Are you sure Jed won’t mind my wearing his clothes?”

“He won’t notice.” Abbey beheld Will as he toweled his wet, black hair after his shower. “I’m confident that the t-shirt and boxers I just put on also belong to him.” She patted the space next to her on the bed. 

In a tank top and Georgetown lounge pants, Will tossed the towel on a chair and sat by Abbey. “Wasn’t he supposed to fly out here for good this week?”

“Work."

"I've heard that before." Will studied Abbey's cagey expression as she studied his, their visages illuminated solely by the lamp on the nightstand. "You want to ask me something," he deduced.

Abbey crossed her ankles on top of the sheets. "Brielle is a gifted lady."

He scooted his back against the headboard. "She is a congenial companion. That was not a question."

"I imagine with both of you working in this field, you have a lot in common."

"We do. That wasn't a question either."

Abbey scrunched her nose. "After her tantalizing presentation tonight, why aren't you enjoying the spoils of her labor? Why are you here with me?"

"I told Brielle I had to check on my main employer. Job security," Will elucidated for the woman whose toes were touching his.

"You are a true friend, Will. Thank you." Abbey stifled a yawn.

"You should rest. I can tuck you in."

"There is room for you. It's a big bed. I stay on my side."

Will acquiesced. He joined her under the sheets. "I will stay on mine."

She turned off the light.

… 

On Saturday morning, Abbey woke up to find Will snoozing in the same position approximately one foot away from her on the mattress. She restrained herself from smoothing the lock of hair resting on his forehead. 

His eyes blinked open. "Are you staring at me?"

"Yes. I haven't started the morning with a dashing gentleman in my bed in a while."

"Eventually your life partner will be here to fill that void."

"Time will tell." She sat up and gazed down at him.

Will stretched his sculpted arms over his head. “Do you know how much self-control I am exercising at this moment?”

“More than I have since last night.”

“You made no untoward actions in my presence.”

“I just slept with a man who isn’t my fiancé.”

“If only that were true in every sense of the word. Alas, my shaft remains unfondled with my ejaculate stowed in my balls.”

Abbey laughed. “Are you hungry?”

“Definitely. Also, I would like some food.”

There was a crash on the other side of the wall.

"Did you hear that?" Abbey stepped to her bedroom door.

"It's coming from the kitchen."

The duo walked out together.

"Morning!" Hayes sang out next to the stove. "I reheated the leftovers from your refrigerator."

Glimmer sat at the table munching from her plate. "There is more than enough for everyone." 

"Dinner for breakfast?" Will raved. "Yes, please." He fixed himself a platter of steak, green beans, and macaroni and cheese.

As Abbey procured a banana from the counter, she heard a key enter the lock on the front door, which startled all four sitting ducks.

"Honey, I'm home."

"Not today, Satan," Glimmer cried as she head butted the intruder. They both toppled onto the Welcome mat.

Hayes rushed to the foyer and pulled her girlfriend off of him. "Sweetie pie, it's Jed. Abbey's boo."

"Thanks, Hayes." Picking himself up from the doorway, Jed coughed in the direction of his attacker, "Who are you?"

"You haven't met Glimmer either?" Hayes helped him stand. "I really should take you out more."

“Nice to meet you?” Jed shook her hand.

Stunned, Abbey walked to her fiancé with arms wide open. “You’re supposed to be on the opposite coast.”

Jed squeezed her tight. His graying beard grazed Abbey’s cheek. “I fixed the situation early, so I booked a last minute flight. I told you I was coming.”

“When?”

“I called you and left a voicemail last night. I think you were at the toy fiesta.” His light blue eyes fixed on her dark brown ones. “You didn’t call back, so I sent you a bunch of texts before the plane departed.”

“I received zero messages from you,” Abbey protested, petting his brown hair.

In the kitchen, Will sunk his hand into the cookie jar. “I think I solved the case.” He handed the crumb-covered phone to his boss.

Jed gave Will a friendly clap on his back. “Good morning. Are those my pants? They look good on you.”

“Thanks, man.”

Abbey unlocked the device. She clicked on Jed’s profile. “Nothing for the past 24 hours.”

“That’s my old number.” Jed scrolled to the Contacts screen. “Where’s the new one?”

“Qué?” Abbey uttered, gradually discerning the series of events.

"I told you I got a new number, for security reasons. You said you would put it in your phone." 

"I did!" Abbey showed him.

"That's 545. Mine is 555."

"Oh.” Abbey cringed. “Ohhh."

Jed tapped more icons. “And you didn’t click the button so that I don’t come up as Restricted. Or--”

“Unlisted,” Hayes grimaced at Glimmer and Will.

“I walked you through the process yesterday morning.” Jed gave Abbey a noogie. “What happened? And why wasn’t I invited to this after party?” He extracted a dalmatian onesie from his carry-on suitcase. “I brought my pajamas.”

“Go put them on.” Abbey shut the door behind him. She gave Jed a kiss on his pink nose. “When you come back, do we have a story to tell you.”