In the year sixteen hundred and forty two

Loaded down with kegs of rum

Sailed a powerful pirate ship

It’s name was Ropes of Cum, boys,

It’s name was Ropes of Cum.

Her Captain was Red Lizzy

No one knew where she was from

She ran the crew with an iron fist

Aboard the Ropes of Cum, boys,

Aboard the Ropes of Cum.

Her first mate was a Scotsman

They called him Snake Eye Clum

It’s said he’s killed a hundred men

Aboard the Ropes of Cum, boys,

Aboard the Ropes of Cum.

The Bosun was named Hannah

She’d been born deaf and dumb

But she never missed her target

Aboard the Ropes of Cum, boys,

Aboard the Ropes of Cum

Two and Twenty women

Each with a lovely bum

Sailed in search of plunder

Aboard the Ropes of Cum, boys,

Aboard the Ropes of Cum

One night they heard the beating

Of a solitary drum

Coming from an island

Off the bow of the Ropes of Cum, boys,

Off the bow of the Ropes of Cum.

Now Lizzy had been drinking

And had her tongue in Hannah's bum

When the mighty ship struck a rock

Alas for the Ropes of Cum, boys,

Alas for the Ropes of Cum

The Timbers cracked and buckled

The mast began to hum

It looked like the end for the mighty ship

The end of the Ropes of Cum, boys,

The end of the Ropes of Cum

Lizzy leaped to action

And called the crew to come

“Jettison the cargo!

We’ll save the Ropes of Cum, girls,

We’ll save the Ropes of Cum”

Snake Eye, with quick thinking,

Passed around bubble gum

They chewed it up and patched the hole

To save the Ropes of Cum, boys,

To save the Ropes of Cum

In the year sixteen hundred and forty two

Tell your Da and Mum

A pirate ship limped into port

She was called the Ropes of Cum, boys,

She was called the Ropes of Cum.