Karl had excused himself from wife Clair and her guy Rex, whom she had picked up. Now, Karl stood in the lobby gazing at nothing in particular. Ennui in its purest form of tedium, lethargy and world-weariness invaded his being. He wished he was somewhere else, anywhere else.

A huge mural took up most of the wall in front of him. The hotel background movement of people, luggage, carts, serving trays and hubbub were a blur. He took a few slow steps backwards to get a better perspective of the mural.

It had been painted years ago for a something-centennial of the American Revolution. Planners moved it to this plush hotel to honor the event and publicize the major tourist attraction in the town.

Karl had worked up some interest in it, studying the personalities, the color blends and the action. Anything would be better than going back inside the hotel bar.

Someone interrupted his thoughts. “So, that is what you Americans thought happened here?”

The female voice was cultured, aggressive, English-sounding. Karl wheeled around and looked. She was rain-wet, like Clair had been. This lady carried herself like royalty. She was trim, well dressed, around age 50 and definitely perky.

Karl was tipsy enough to say, “Why don’t we get you out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini?”

She was startled and offended. Then she started to laugh. “Sorry for the comments on your mural. I was cheeky and you gave it right back. I had it coming. I'm British and on holiday, spending a few days here with my husband.”

“I’m Karl. I live here. Welcome to America.”

“My name is Alec, short for Alexandra. But, honestly, the artist has the scene all wrong.”

“Yes, that may be true, but the victors get to write the history books.”

“Good enough. Victors also get to paint the murals. Pleasure to meet you.” With that, she sort of bowed her head, then walked off toward the elevators.

The exchanged lifted Karl's spirits. He might have been insulted but he liked her attitude.

Karl went back into the lounge bar to join the party of two, his wife and Rex. A while later, the newly-formed couple left. By eleven, Karl was alone. He would wait for his wife, as promised, and he moved to the bar counter, stopped drinking alcohol and switched to coffee. 

He had company, three stools down. He caught a British accent, slightly slurred. He had two drinks in front of him: a Guinness and a shot of Dewars. One sip of the small container, one gulp of the beer.

“Cheers!” He raised a glass in Karl's direction.

“Cheers!” Karl answered.

The Brit started to get up, was unsteady and decided to sit down again. Karl moved to within one seat. They introduced themselves. Ian said he was British and staying at the hotel for a few days with his wife Alexandra. Ian took a long time to utter his spouse’s name, struggling to enunciate each syllable.

Ah ha, Karl thought, remembering a Craigslist posting. Karl trolled sites that advertised illicit affairs and he recalled a recent picture showing the frontal view of a healthy-looking couple on a nude beach. The faces were blurred but the size and shape of this Ian and Alec were obvious. The man’s member was enormous.

Karl remembered the wording of the advertisement: “Middle-aged European couple on tour of America. Will be in your area this weekend. ISO gent or couple for possible romantic encounter. Size does not matter; lesser endowed males move to the front of the queue.”

Karl was positive that the mural lady and Ian were the couple in the posting. Karl had been trying to get Clair interested in something like that. Lucky me, he thought, into my lap fall Ian and Alec.

Karl summoned all of his mental faculties, trying to brush the whiskey and beer cobwebs out of his mind. He started innocently enough. “So, where is Alec?” Then, he thought, Ian never said Alec; he called his wife Al-ex-an-dra.

But Ian simply replied, “She is upstairs, already in bed, I suppose. We were to meet someone here at the bar at nine, but that did not work out.”

“Oh?” Karl warned himself not to seem probing or nosy. 

Ian finished the scotch. His next statement was a surprise. “And the ten o’clock never showed up.”

Karl assumed the Brits met a guy or couple at nine and somebody didn’t like somebody. The ten o’clock fallback never showed.

More small talk. More coffee. More alcohol. More wondering what was going on with Rex and Clair.

Karl could no longer fight the urge to use the restroom. But, if he left the bar, Ian may disappear. He really had to go! When he rose, so did Ian. The two lined up at adjacent urinals. Karl glanced over when Ian pulled out his penis. It was the longest, fattest one he had ever seen.

Ian saw him looking. “Yes, my friend, this is a curse. My wife is overwhelmed by it. Believe it or not, the size of this thing keeps my wife away. I don’t recall the last time we had full-on sex.”

Ian peed and continued talking, the alcohol loosening his tongue. “We thought we had what you call a hookup tonight. The couple was crude, much too eager.”

“Too bad,” Karl commiserated as he finished urinating.

“Worse still," sighed Ian, "the fallback was a no-show. Alec went to bed and I stayed here to have one more. And another. Well, you know that.”

“Hmm... Better luck next time,” Karl said.

They returned to the bar to settle their tabs. “Charge this to room 420,” said Ian and Karl knew where to find his prey.

NOON ON SATURDAY

Clair went off in his MGB, on her first date in thirty years, and Karl was alone at home, trying to work out a plan. “What is good for the goose is good for the gander.”

Karl dialed the hotel and asked to be connected with Room 420.

A female British accent answered. “Hello.”

“Hello to you. I’m Karl. You may remember me looking at the mural. I met Ian at the bar later and we had a great time chatting.”

“You are Karl, from the mural?" Alec sounded interested. "What about that dry martini?”

Good, she remembers me, Karl thought. “I have a fresh supply of good gin and some vermouth." Karl took a gamble. “Would you fancy a personal tour of our historic area? And then get into a dry martini. I must tell you, I saw your ad in Craigslist and would be honored to oblige.”

He cringed when he realized he was using Brit-speak and sounded silly doing it.

“You have the advantage of me, sir.” Great reply.

“I fit your requirements, just in case you are interested.” 

Alec caught the hint and excused his attempt at trying to sound English. She said, “We have seen most of the attractions here, so we do not require a tour guide. However, why not come by Room 420 in about two hours?”

Karl smiled but asked, “Do you want to check with Ian before we settle on 2 o’clock?”

“Not at all. Ian will do as I ask. So, two is fine with you?” Alec sounded more like a secretary than someone who wanted to get laid.

Karl had a lot of work to do in two hours. He decided to rush to the market, pick up some flowers, a bottle of his favorite gin, The Botanist to go with some expensive vermouth. Cocktail onions and olives, he already had on hand.

When he returned home, he showered, shaved, took a Viagra and put on his best casual slacks and shirt. And, like Rex, he wore boat shoes without socks. He was out his door and knocking on Room 420 at the appointed hour.

Ian opened the door, dressed in similar style of nice clothes. “Alec will be out shortly. Have a seat. Would you like a drink?”

“I brought something myself. Alec knows about it.”

Karl looked around. Had he and Clair compared notes, the suites were identical. Karl sat in the middle of the sofa, with the bag beside him on the carpet. He declined to hand Ian the flowers. They were for Alec, not Ian.

“Let me explain," said Ian, sitting next to Karl. "Alec and I have been married for only five years. I was a virgin, believe it or not, on our wedding night. She had been married before and had a few experiences before that. All of her men were of average size or smaller. She was pleased, even excited when she saw me naked for the first time. She commented that her bridesmaids had teased her about not knowing what the new lover had down there.

“We had marital problems immediately, given the size of my penis.” Ian continued. “We went to a marriage counselor and even a sex therapist. We both want this marriage to work. We are still in love. I did not realize my measurements put me in the ninetieth percentile for length and girth. I was too much for her."

Ian paused and slowly shook his head. “She is too small for me to fit into her. Smaller men can thrust into her all the way. She lusts for someone to bang her, and I mean really bang her. But the member must be smaller than mine.”

Then Alec appeared, dressed in a hotel bathrobe.

Her hair and make-up were impeccable. Her manner graceful. Both men stood.

Karl said, “We Americans have a phrase ‘goodies.’ These goodies are for you.”

He handed the flowers to Alec. She smiled, smelled the sweet scents and handed them to Ian. “Find a way to put these in water. If you must, go down the hall and fetch another ice bucket.”

Alec and Karl sat on the sofa. He said, “Remember last night? I offered to get you out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. This is my favorite gin.” He showed her the bottle.

Ian returned, frustrated about not finding an appropriate flower urn.

“Ian, please be bartender today. Do you mind serving us?”

“Not at all my dear. I will make martinis and then find something to put the flowers in.”

They chatted about the couple's American tour, Karl’s career and retirement. Alec was an executive secretary for a museum in London; Ian did something in government. It was her second marriage, his first. Ian had stayed single until he turned fifty and Alec had lost her first husband ten years ago.

Karl’s hostess was showing a lot of skin, especially showing off her slim legs and perky tits inside the robe.

Karl’s cellphone rang. Caller ID said it was their hotel. It must be Clair so he said, “Sorry, but I must take this.”

With that, Alec and Ian went into their bedroom and Karl answered his call. “I can’t get cellphone service anywhere," said Clair, "so I am using the lobby phone. I’ll call back in five.”

When she called back, the conversation was uncomfortable. Karl was unaccustomed to afternoon drinking and he was thankful when the short conversation ended.

Alec returned without Ian and approached Karl. She put one foot beside his left leg and lifted her robe. She was naked. “Do you like what you see, Karl? No knickers today.”

He nodded.

“Then give me a kiss.” She leaned forward, putting one hand on the back of the couch.

Karl leaned forward to kiss her and began to stroke Alec’s folds. He knew she wasn't that excited yet; her labia were not even reddening. “We can do this with Ian right here?” asked Karl, not sure if he should continue or how far they could go. And what was Ian’s role in this affair?

“Ian understands. He will stay in the bedroom for a while, but I expect him to join us later. Ian understands me. He knows my needs.” She smiled. "Your fingers feel good but maybe your tongue will feel even better.”

Karl did his best to pace himself but Alec was going fast. He stroked her labia again and she rocked forward. Seated, Karl had full access to Alec’s treasure. She was freshly shaved.

Looking down and noticing Karl’s pleased expression, she said, “I had Ian shave me as soon as we hung up the phone. He wants to make sure I am well presented.”

Karl brushed her lips again. They started to redden. He wet one finger and circled her opening. She moved her foot to the side, giving him more room. Karl leaned in and licked with his tongue as flat as he could make it. The outside of his thick tongue was able to touch both sides of her lips. Karl was getting hard; he could feel his member straining.

“Oooh," Alec sighed as Ian came into the room. "Oh, Ian, this man knows how to lick my cunny. Get him to tell you what he is doing. Not now, silly." She shook her head. "Later.”

Ian scooted back into the bedroom.

Karl pulled back long enough to check her redness. Better - and her lips were getting puffy. It was time to attack her clit. He used his tongue to circle it, slowly at first. She tasted fresh. More slow rolls around one way, then the other.

Karl heard heavy breathing over Alec’s gasps. Ian was back, watching, but he could not see much because of the long terrycloth robe.

Karl was getting into the action, enjoying his new-found power over a woman. Clair may not appreciate his ministrations but Alec certainly did. As he sucked and lapped at her clit, Karl was attentive to how Alec moved. She would let him know if he was doing it right.

“Oh god! That is perfect. I can’t stand much more of this.”

Karl moved his mouth down and kissed the inside of her thighs: two or three pecks on one leg, similar on the other leg. Then to the junction of leg and abdomen. Alec moved her body to make him kiss her pussy again.

“We have to stop.” Alec was serious. Apparently, coitus interruptus was part of their ritual.

Alec put her foot back on the floor, cinched up her robe, and cradled Karl's cheeks in her palms. She looked him in the eyes and said, “Thank you. You will be repaid.”

“My pleasure,” Karl told her, honestly.

She then kissed him. It occurred to him half a minute into the kiss that she was doing to his mouth what his mouth had done to her pussy. When she sucked his tongue, it was like he had sucked her clit.

They parted and Alec sat on the sofa next to Karl. It was time for a breather and drinks.

When they finished their drinks, they started to kiss again. Alec was now the aggressor. She unbuttoned Karl’s shirt, lowered her head and nibbled on his nipples.

Alec's tits were smallish and cone shaped. Karl fondled and kissed them until Ian again came back. He held out martinis, one in each hand. Karl took a glass but considered never letting go of the breast he held. But she led him into the bedroom where she stretched out on the bed. She sipped her martini and waited for more attention. Ian seemed nervous and tried to make small talk.

Karl went over and lay beside Alec. He kissed her, then whispered in her ear, intentionally ignoring Ian. “I will never forget that kiss. You are an excellent lover and I intend to use your body today until you cannot stand any more.”

All the time he was talking, he was punctuating words with a little peck on her ear, a tweaking of a breast, a caressing of her slightly open robe. Off came shoes, slacks, shirt and underwear. Ian closed the curtains.

Alec started kissing Karl again and moved down to his chest. She nibbled and made noises he had not heard in a long time. When she reached his dick, she nuzzled it with one cheek, then the other. “Just right,” she murmured and took him into her mouth and swirled her tongue around the tip. She was good! As small as her mouth was, she could hold his dick in and still run her tongue all around the crown.

Alec stopped sucking and crawled back up to be face to face. “Take me doggie style," she told Karl, "and don’t be gentle.”

She crouched on her knees and buried her head in the pillows. She wiggled her ass. Karl rubbed his cock against her opening and she wiggled more.

“Fuck me.” Karl’s voice was loud, louder than intended. “I said I want you to fuck me, fuck me with that pussy of yours. Push back until the head of my dick is inside your cunt. Then lean back more, then further.”

Karl was not stupid. If the lady has a really tight cunt and is turned off by oversized men, then let her take the lead. When she leaned back, he was ready for her. He stood ramrod straight. She tried slowly to adjust, pushing back until the dick head was inside her. Then she surprised herself by going backward again, this time with a lot more force.

Karl was ready. He did not move and let her fuck him. Her pussy was really hot and slick. The tightness was new to him. She picked up a rhythm, rocking back and forth on Karl’s dick. He held her hips and began to guide her, saying, “Yes. Like that. Fuck me. You want to fuck don’t you?”

“Oh God, yes.” She moved quickly, sawing on the dick inside her. Karl pulled her to him. With his average size dick, he had to be careful not to slip out but Alec was not about to let him go.

Karl released his grip on her hips and she remained motionless. Now he could fuck her. He withdrew a bit, then slammed into her.

“Ugh. Again. Again.” She liked it.

He slammed into her again and wrapped his arms around her soft body. This time he stayed all the way in and thrust up and down. He put a finger on her butthole and she started to move forward a bit and he went forward with her. She would not get away. Alec had no desire to get away. This man knew how to treat a lady and she was going to take advantage.

Karl thrust in and out, in and out, enjoying the sensations of a new pussy for his dick. But that pussy started to have a mind of its own, grasping his member, pulling it and squeezing it. Finally, both released all their energy in one final surge. Karl collapsed with his arms still around Alec and they rolled over, panting.

Ian went into the bathroom and returned with a towel and a flannel soaked in warm water. He passed the towel to Karl and the washcloth to Alec.

Alec had a question. “It’s not even five o’clock. What are we going to do the rest of the evening?”

Karl was up for anything - but after a rest. The new lovers showered together and when everyone was dressed, Ian mixed more cocktails. Ten minutes later, he said, “You two are on your own. My date is on her way up and you need to be somewhere else for a two hours.”

That is when there was a knock on the door followed by: “Room service.”

Alec opened the door and a gorgeous woman walked in. “Who is Ian?”