Love. A simple and small word, but it carries such a strong meaning. Is it possible to love two people? Or better. Could I love two people? Questions and more questions.

Three months have passed since our first “incident.” My passion for him was stronger than ever, and we used every opportunity we had to be together. I had gone back on birth control because I honestly hate condoms. My husband had a vasectomy after the birth of our children, so I never had to worry, but now with the affair, pregnancy was a real risk. After three months of sex with condoms, feeling him inside like the first time was a dream.

Our encounters had slowed down, so no one gets suspicions. Our partners trusted us, and we didn’t want to change that. The meetings were very casual, sometimes alone and sometimes with friends. Controlling my desire to jump on him, tear off his clothes, and make love in front of everyone. It was the first time that I felt this impulsive desire, almost primitive. All my life, my body only responded to certain contexts, but not now. Just by looking at him, my mind created the most erotic scenes. For the first time in my life, I was spontaneous.

We were looking forward to the company party as it would be the perfect opportunity to spend the night together. We arrange everything in advance. Our partners would stay at home taking care of the children, which was normal and would not raise any suspicion. We would spend some time at the party, and then later we would meet at a hotel.

I was really excited when the day came. I had bought a very sexy black lingerie, and I was dying to wear it. When I arrived at the party, he was already there. We greeted each other and socialized separately. The party as every year was very boring, so around 10 pm I texted him saying I was going to the hotel and left the party.

Arriving at the hotel room, I was very nervous, which was strange because finally, we would have time for ourselves and without interruptions. He arrived shortly after, and when I opened the door, my heart almost melted. We started slowly, drinking wine and flirting, but it wasn’t long before things got hot.

We lay in bed in an intense make out. Him touching my entire body and whispering in my ear how much he wanted me. Except there was a problem, I don’t know why, but I was having a hard time giving in to the desire. I took off my clothes, revealing my lingerie. He hugged me tight and kissed me. His hands touching my ass. I crouched down and took off his pants. To my surprise, he was limp. I asked if everything was fine and he told me he was just a little anxious. I suck him to see if it could help, but it didn’t work. At that moment, everything went through my mind, and instinctively I thought I was the problem.

He said he wanted to give me pleasure, and that could help him get hard. So I got on all fours on the bed and he started rubbing my ass. Kissing and giving light bites, which were actually quite sexy. He lowered my panties and licked me. Despite his incredible oral skills, I just couldn’t seem to relax and enjoy the moment. A few minutes later, I asked him to stop because clearly, we were getting nowhere. We sat on the bed, disappointed because it was something that we had planned a lot and it just didn’t happen. He offered to take me home, and we went to the car.

Inside the car, all emotions came to the surface, and I cried. It was a lot to deal with. Guilt and shame are two powerful emotions to deal with. He stopped the car and just hugged me. We held each other for a few minutes without saying a word. That was so comforting, and I felt safe. At that moment, we had a deep conversation about ourselves and our future. I felt so connected to him that things flowed naturally.

I kissed him slowly, enjoying that intimate moment. It didn’t take long and our bodies intertwined. His hands sliding, touching not only my body but going to the bottom of my soul. His kisses filled me with desire and love. Our clothes were slowly being removed, without interrupting that passionate make out. His hands touched my breasts, making my nipples hard. I took off my bra, and he kissed my breasts while massaging my ass.

While he took off his pants, I tied my hair up, took off my bra completely, and lowered my pants, leaving me only with the sexy panties I had bought. When I took off his underwear, I could see that he was hard and, just like me, totally in the mood. At that moment, I really wanted to suck him. I stayed in the passenger seat so that I could bend over. The car wasn’t comfortable, but neither of us wanted to stop that moment.

Staying in a comfortable position, I grabbed and caressed his penis. It was amazing how he ran his hands all over my back and up to my ass. As soon as I put his penis in my mouth, I heard a sigh of pleasure that drove me crazy. He tasted so good and responded very well when I increased the speed. His hand that ran all over my body stopped when it reached my ass. His fingers were working their way into my panties. I think his interest was in my vagina but stopped at my anus.

All my life, I never did anal. I never felt like or even curious about anything ass related. I made it very clear to my husband that nothing would happen there, despite being one of his biggest fantasies.

There I was, doing oral to a man who's not my husband. In a forbidden affair, while he had his fingers on top of a body part that always was a no-go zone from everyone. And the funny thing was that it was exciting.

His fingers moved in a clockwise direction, massaging around my entire anus. My heart was racing and my hands were shaking. How something as simple as touching a specific location drove me crazy? That was too much for me, so I said I wanted him inside me. I took off my pants and sat on his lap. His penis was directly touching my vagina. We kissed a lot while I masturbated him and guided his cock inside me.

Oh, how I waited for that moment! Finally, our bodies intertwined. Skin to skin. No protection, no fears, just love. Our position could not be worse, but at that moment, none of that mattered. I rode him slowly, leaning on the bench. His hands holding my ass, which gave me more control. I increased the speed and his moans drove me crazy. His penis was so hard and tasty. I knew he couldn’t take much, and it didn’t matter. I just wanted him.

After a while, I felt his penis pulsing inside me, followed by a delicious moan. I stopped riding him and hugged him. We stayed in that position, which was so intimate and sexy. I got off him and as soon as I took his penis out of me, his sperm dripped from my vagina. He came so much inside me and it made a mess inside the car. I was trying to clean myself and him. I stopped and looked at him and I don’t know why, but we started laughing a lot. For a moment, I felt alive.

After that unforgettable moment, he took me home. It was strange how comfortable I felt with him. When I got home, everyone was sleeping. I went to take a shower because, besides the sweat, I still had sperm coming out of me. Entering the room, I saw my husband sleeping, and an awful sense of guilt fell over me. All I thought was that he didn’t deserve any of that, and yet I was doing it. A feeling of despair made me go to the bathroom right away because I didn’t want to risk waking him up. I was in no physical or mental condition for him.

I took off my clothes and hid my underwear because I didn’t want to have to explain all that. When I got into the bath, I thought about everything that was happening and about everything I was doing. I ran my hand over my vagina and still felt it inside me. I sat on the floor, water dropping, and my hands were all over my naked body. My still-wet pussy allowed my fingers to slide easily inside. Everything was incredible. But one thing did not get out of my head - that feeling of his fingers pressing over my anus.
I had every reason not to want that, but part of me was excited by that. This affair was opening doors. To new realities and new discoveries. Doors that have never opened before.

My fingers deep in my vagina made me moan. It didn’t take long and reached climax. I used to have a very low sexual desire and now I was masturbating, hidden in the bathroom. My passion for Robert was growing stronger, but it was different. I still loved my husband. In fact, I've never stopped loving him. I also loved Robert, but it was something new, exciting, and wrong. The wrong made things more intensely.

I became two completely different people. On the one hand, a wife and mother who loved her husband and saw him as her soulmate, and wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. On the other, an adulteress who cheated on her husband with a co-worker. Sexually active like never and curious to try new things. I didn’t recognize myself anymore. I’ve known my husband for years. We went through many things together, so why my desire for him wasn’t so strong? Why didn’t I sexually desire him so much? I needed help. I needed therapy.