For some it's the desert, for others it's the ocean. Myself, I find solace at the end of my weekly hikes. My destination is always the same; a waterfall. I'm blessed to live in the Pacific Northwest where there are no shortages of hikes or waterfalls. Alone with my dog, I can take in the sight, sound, smell, and even the taste of the air as water crashes off the rocks around me. It's here I can clear my head and breathe deep.

Most days I allow myself to linger just a short time before turning around for the hike home. Today I find myself getting lost in thought and settle up against an old tree; I'm cushioned by the soft ground cover. It is truly my "happy place," which is why the year before I had a black ink waterfall tattooed on the side of my right leg from, knee to ankle.

***

His words echo in my head, "It's time to move on."

I know Robert's words are true. It is time. For the past year, Robert has been my friend, and my Dom. He's been my guide and mentor as I've finally allowed myself to explore my most deep and hidden submissive desires. He also lives across the country and we've never met in person. We found each other online, at a time when both of us were recently divorced but not yet ready to jump into dating. We were both in our early forties, active, with a love of the outdoors. Jobs and children kept us both in our respective cities. He was an experienced Dom, who had the patience and strength to put up with a novice such as myself. Emails and phone calls have been the limit of our relationship, as we set up from the beginning.

We both agreed that if either of us became seriously involved in a new relationship close to home, then we would need to end our sessions. It was he who found new love first, and I'm happy for him. I knew I had clung to our phone sessions as a reason to avoid dating, and he knew it too.

We had discovered over the year that not only was I submissive, but that moderate erotic pain and verbal humiliation amplified my orgasms greatly. Names such as 'cunt' and 'freak' simultaneously embarrassed me and made my nipples tight and cunt leak. However, when he felt the need to really get into my head, to eliminate any question I might have of his dominance over me, he would call my cunt, ass, and mouth his 'holes'. He once elaborated that a hole is nothing but a void. Something that is not complete until it's filled. That imagery hit me to the core and allowed me to let go like nothing else could.

We also learned that nothing pushed me harder than orgasm denial, and that making him cum was my favorite reward of all. It had surprised me how satisfied and proud I would feel after sessions that I made him come multiple times while my own release was denied.

My thoughts take me back to our last session one week ago. On that particular night, we started the evening as we usually did. I was to wait for his call sitting naked on the side of my bed, legs together, feet flat on the floor, back straight, chin up. My toys were arranged and waiting on the bedside table.

Per Robert's order, a mirror was set up directly across from my bed. I was to look at myself until his call. A year ago, this was a struggle. Through his insistence, I've come to appreciate my reflection. The small lines at the corners of my brown eyes, the grey beginning at the temples of my dark brown hair, the slight sag of my once firm B-cup breasts, and the small roll at my belly. I once felt betrayed by all of these traits; now I recognize myself as a strong, attractive and sexy woman. At five feet five, I am neither petite nor tall. Some men look right through me, while others find me desirable.

The phone rang and I answered.

"Hello pet," his warm voice called through the phone. How it is those words could still make my core warm and my cunt wet after so much time made me smile.

"Hello Sir," I replied, knowing no other words were allowed from this point on unless requested by him.

Sometimes he would launch immediately in to a session, while at other times he was more playful or inquisitive and we'd chat about our days, our work, and our struggles adjusting to life as singles. At those times his voice would be soft and his laugh open and infectious. I'd find myself leaning back on my bed relaxing in to the phone call as if talking to an old friend. More often than not, I would be caught off guard when I'd hear the almost imperceptible change in the tone of his voice, along with the return of his command over me.

On this night there were no questions. No idle conversation. We both knew this was to be our last session, and perhaps our last conversation altogether. It was bittersweet for us both, but we knew our friendship was too entwined with our desire for each other to reasonably continue without him feeling unfaithful to his new girlfriend.

"Is my cunt wet for me?" he asked softly.

"Yes Sir." In fact, I'd been wet and anxious since coming home from work. The bed sheet was undoubtedly soaked where I sat.

"Good girl... but that's enough words for now." He went on, "Medium vibrator in your mouth, now." His deep voice sent a chill down my spine.

Robert knew what I needed. As a news reporter for the local public radio station, my voice is my power. I have a smooth easy cadence, which can turn from professional to lighthearted to sexy at my whim. It is the voice of a grown, intelligent woman. The first time he took my voice from me, I don't think either of us realized how profound the effect would be. I felt more raw, naked and vulnerable than I ever had. It became for us the most effective means of bondage he could offer over the telephone.

"Clothespins... get two. One on each nipple, quick."

I released the springs of the clips on to my tender nipples, feeling the tight pinch squeeze the sensitive flesh waking them up and causing my cunt to squeeze involuntarily. At first the pain was so acute that I caught my breath, but then it transformed to a warm flush over my breasts and torso and I began to breathe in small pants.

"Two fingers in your cunt. Slowly work them in and out. Stop at times to rub your clit a little then back to your cunt." I almost slipped off the edge of the bed when I slid my legs open and scooted forward to get easier access to my cunt.

Grace has never been my strength. Robert heard my stumble on the hardwood floor and chuckled, but did not say a word about it.

"Okay now... back to your clit. Keep rubbing it back and forth. I want it peeking out of its little hood exposed for any torment I might choose." This kind of explicit and almost clinical talk both humiliates me and drives me crazy with need. My hips began to buck towards my fingers, my cunt and ass clenching as I began to feel my orgasm building.

"Stop!" he ordered. I whimpered but complied. My ability to back off from impending orgasm has improved over the year. I know this makes him proud. I was so undisciplined at first, frequently coming without permission and suffering increasingly painful and humiliating punishments until I learned. He routinely began to edge me over and over again until I was sweating and trembling with need, willing to have my limits pushed further or reveal more intimate secrets just to be granted permission to come.

"Let's hope that vibrator is nice and wet. Take it out of your mouth and work it in to your ass. If you need to, you may use your sloppy cunt to get it wet first." Despite the crude words, I knew he was being generous by letting me use my slippery cunt to lube the vibrator first. I ran it up and down the length of my cunt, imagining it was his hard cock. I dragged it greedily against my clit, before slowly slipping in to my ass in one push. I let out a sharp gasp at the intrusion and heard his groan in response.

Through the phone, I could hear his breath quicken, along with the erotic sound of his hand working his cock.

I looked at myself again in the mirror. My hooded eyes stared back with a longing that was so dead for so many years. My legs were spread lewdly exposing my wet and swollen cunt, along with the perverse vibrator stretching my tight hole. The clothespins were sticking out from my chest and my nipples had turned a dark crimson red. My face and chest were flushed, and a fine sheen of sweat was covering my body. In that moment, I felt free from all of the self doubt and limitations I'd kept myself bound in for a lifetime. A lifetime spent trying to meet everyone else's rules and expectations. It was time for me to be true to myself. I was a strong and independent woman, but also a woman who needed and craved sexual submission in the bedroom. I knew now the two did not have to be mutually exclusive.

"I imagine that greedy little cunt of yours is twitching to be filled. Get your largest vibrator and start fucking yourself hard."

No sooner had he said the words that I grabbed it from the nightstand and slammed it in to my cunt. I worked it quickly in and out feeling it rubbing the vibrator in my ass through the thin layer of tissue in between. I let my back fall back on the bed, propping my feet on the side and lose myself in the sensation. My orgasm was so close I could feel the crest approaching. I felt the phone drop off my shoulder and my eyes closed before I heard his voice calling to me.

"Corrine, stop now!" It took me a few seconds to realize what I'd done, and quickly picked up the phone and sat up. I winced as the wet vibrator in my cunt loudly crashed to the floor.

Instead of anger or frustration with my lack of control after all this time, Robert broke out in laughter. "Really, Corrine?" I heard him chuckle and could hear the smile in his voice. "Did you really almost come without permission? Tonight of all nights?"

We both knew it was a rhetorical question as I could not answer him. Instead I sat quietly waiting for the inevitable punishment.

"Okay then, I wasn't going to do this but you've left me no choice my horny little slut. Clip a clothespin to that swollen clit of yours, turn both vibrators to high, and do not come without my permission!" Now it was my turn to smile. We both knew this was not punishment. I gingerly clipped the clothespin to my sensitive clit, and threw my head back with a loud groan.

The sensation of both of my holes filled and vibrating quickly had me groaning and panting in frenzy. The tight pressure on my clipped clit and nipples sent jolts of pleasure throughout my body. My orgasm was approaching quickly and I knew I wouldn't be able to hold out.

"Ok my pet, now it's time for you to listen..." I closed my eyes expecting the deliciously lewd and lusty words he usually whispered in to my ear to send me over the cliff.

"This has been a year of breakdown and rebirth for both of us; a year of discovery and exploration that has meant more to me than you can know. In that time you've shared your passions, your fears and your hopes. You've allowed me the pleasure of unlocking that sweet submissive woman inside of you, and now it's time for you to find a man who will love and cherish you. One who will accept your submission for the gift that it is. He is out there, and he will be the envy of every man to have you as his own. Promise me you will put yourself out there. Promise me now my pet, and then you can come."

His unexpected words slammed me to the core. My desperation for everything he wished for me swirled in my head while my body was writhing with pure pleasure. I yelled out, "I promise!" then came with such force that tears exploded from my eyes and I kept murmuring as I rode the wave "I promise... I promise... I promise..." My body lay limp on the bed as I cradled the phone to my tear stained cheek.

I heard him groan with his release, then a quiet, "Goodbye, Corrine."

"Goodbye, Robert."

***

A black, wet nose rouses me from my thoughts. It's beginning to get late and I need to hike the few miles back to my car. I throw a stick for Griffin a few times, then finish off a bag of trail mix and smile to myself. I can't be sad for our goodbye. I learned more about myself and my needs in the past year than after 13 years of marriage. I look on to the water crashing off of the rocks and smile. Rock and water. Hard and soft. The rock changes the course of the water. The water smoothes the rough edges of the rock. The two need each other to create this beautiful union. That is what I want in my life, and I know he's out there.